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  #1  
Old 04-06-2014, 10:58 PM
CJ7984 CJ7984 is offline
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Exclamation Need Advice - My fiancee had a relapse

My fiancee had a relapse. We got into an argument and he hit me so I called the police. He was arrested, then bailed out two days later. He is being charged with assault in the third degree. Parole violated him for this. He technically broke special conditions of parole because he was not supposed to be in the county I live in, or in contact with me. Plus, they added that he didn't tell his parole officer about the police contact. (The reason these special conditions exist is because two years ago, he had also relapsed and went to Willard. Upon his release, they told him he couldn't have contact with me or come to my county. He was supposed to get permission to move in with me a month after this incident occurred.) The problem is, the parole officer told him we could have contact, but it's not on paper. The arresting officer also called the parole officer when he got arrested so he didn't think he had to notify his PO. Parole didn't violate him until three weeks after the incident. In addition to this, he has to go to court for the assault charge. His hearing was last Thursday and the revocation specialist recommended 12 months as a sentence, despite the fact his PO is recommending a drug treatment program. They adjourned his hearing until May 8th, stating they wanted to see what happens with his assault charge first. They didn't let him present any evidence or mitigating factors (which he meets almost every one of them) and should be able to get in a program being this was drug related. Just curious what everyone's experience with this kind of stuff is and do they usually recommend a harsh sentence in the beginning and then he will wind up getting the program?

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Old 04-06-2014, 11:16 PM
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I will not address the fact that you have been assaulted by someone who has a history of this with you. I think you probably know what you are doing. You man is responsible for his own reporting. He knows that even if it were shout from the roof tops that he had contact with the police, it is his responsibility to contact his parole officer. That shows that he is capable of acting like any other community member acts with accountability. I don't know what the complaint reads but it seems he violated numerous conditions of parole. The parole officer will make his recommendation and usually it is as stiff as he can make it. The appointed member that listens to his hearing will make the final decision and based on his parole thus far, any contributions he has made to his involvement in becoming productive, his commission of offense and how many conditions he violated.
His new charge will either put him in jail or be dismissed. He will then have to go before an appointed member to determine his violation. They will wait because he may go to prison based on this new charge (s) so they don't have to provide an additional hearing for a violation when there is a sentence for the new charge.
Good luck to you.
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Old 04-07-2014, 11:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CJ7984 View Post
My fiancee had a relapse. We got into an argument and he hit me so I called the police. He was arrested, then bailed out two days later. He is being charged with assault in the third degree. Parole violated him for this. He technically broke special conditions of parole because he was not supposed to be in the county I live in, or in contact with me. Plus, they added that he didn't tell his parole officer about the police contact. (The reason these special conditions exist is because two years ago, he had also relapsed and went to Willard. Upon his release, they told him he couldn't have contact with me or come to my county. He was supposed to get permission to move in with me a month after this incident occurred.) The problem is, the parole officer told him we could have contact, but it's not on paper. The arresting officer also called the parole officer when he got arrested so he didn't think he had to notify his PO. Parole didn't violate him until three weeks after the incident. In addition to this, he has to go to court for the assault charge. His hearing was last Thursday and the revocation specialist recommended 12 months as a sentence, despite the fact his PO is recommending a drug treatment program. They adjourned his hearing until May 8th, stating they wanted to see what happens with his assault charge first. They didn't let him present any evidence or mitigating factors (which he meets almost every one of them) and should be able to get in a program being this was drug related. Just curious what everyone's experience with this kind of stuff is and do they usually recommend a harsh sentence in the beginning and then he will wind up getting the program?
You're thinking very kindly about a man who's hurt you. He didn't technically violate - he did it high, wide and handsome. Blatantly. He made you frightened enough to call the police.

Given that the hearing was adjourned, there was no reason to present evidence . . . if his new charge is upheld, then there's no question of parole violation.

Besides that, if he hasn't figured out that if it's not written down then it doesn't exist. If there's no specific release from the party who created the no-contact order, then it's still in effect.

Both of you are making excuses. Period. New York isn't that kind to domestic abusers, and they automatically put those orders on at sentencing (and often even before). Stop allowing yourselves the sloppy thinking that's gotten you into this mess. The legal system isn't fooling around with you, they're totally serious.

As to the 'program', he can get it in prison. If he puts his heart into it, goes into it with an open mind and a determination to get out of this addiction rut, then he will get the results. The average is that 10% do, no matter whether it's a rehab, a prison sentence or a trip to the Middle East.
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Old 04-07-2014, 02:25 PM
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an order of the court can only be circumvented by another order of the court. Telling yourself anything different is just deceiving yourself.
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