Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-24-2005, 05:39 PM
Psalms31chick Psalms31chick is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA, LA
Posts: 1,014
Thanks: 29
Thanked 99 Times in 46 Posts
Default The long road ahead!!!!

My husband (fiance really) and I have a long road ahead ladies.They are taking our visits for a year, throwing him up in the shu for awhile and extending his sentence awhile longer.To add to all that we will never have a family visit.He has a drug problem that he has yet to admit to, probably because I had to comfront him about it via letter and the problems just keep coming.Through all this he put us in a position that now has me in trouble along with him.But even thorugh all this I love the man and a few days ago I got a letter saying that he loved me also.In all this my family is flipping out and it has occured to me that they are never going to be okay with him.Please ladies....would you stay???I need advise!!!My heart tells me that I need to stay, my head says there is a long road ahead and everyone who doesnt know him says leave.I am counting on you ladies who know about this life to help.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 04-24-2005, 05:47 PM
Mrs. Vins Mrs. Vins is offline
2008 Club Member #4
 

Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 1,416
Thanks: 0
Thanked 19 Times in 11 Posts
Default

Did the drug problem lead to the problems that you two are having with the loss of visits, etc? If so, I would go. That's not a risk that I can personally take with my relationship and I definitely can't be with someone who takes risks like that with our relationship. Everyone has choices but I think when you're with someone, to a degree, their choices no longer JUST affect them, they affect you too. I don't want someone who is willing to make poor choices and risk 1) not seeing me 2) adding more time and making me wait longer 3) getting me in trouble too.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-24-2005, 06:26 PM
honey_77's Avatar
honey_77 honey_77 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: oklahoma, united states
Posts: 105
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

That is you decision. you can only do so much without his help. your relationship is a two way road and he must understand this too. you must think of yourself and live your life to the best of your ability. You must look inside you heart and do what you must. Just remember what ever you do it will be hard and God loves you.
__________________


One day I will look up and he will be there.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 04-24-2005, 06:26 PM
1dayatatime 1dayatatime is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Georgia
Posts: 6,145
Thanks: 0
Thanked 32 Times in 9 Posts
Default

Well, are you in trouble legally now because of him? He got into trouble in prison and got more time added and a loss of visits. Think long and hard---listen to your heart!


Pray for the Lord to show you and lead you.

ONE
__________________
2005 CLUB MEMBER # 3

HE'S HOME!!!!!!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 04-24-2005, 06:53 PM
seansgram's Avatar
seansgram seansgram is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Hamilton, ohio
Posts: 1,747
Thanks: 0
Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts
Default

I agree with the other posts, you need to put yourself first, and step back and look at the situation, would you be around someone(friend) if they got you in trouble and theirselves and then didn't learn and got in more trouble. Having someone in prison for a long time is not an easy task , it might seem good right now but on down the road it may be different , and then you have wasted many years and led him on. Its your decision, this is just my opinion. good luck
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 04-24-2005, 07:01 PM
Pinky99's Avatar
Pinky99 Pinky99 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 4,241
Thanks: 0
Thanked 32 Times in 22 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by hesavedme
My husband (fiance really) and I have a long road ahead ladies.They are taking our visits for a year, throwing him up in the shu for awhile and extending his sentence awhile longer.To add to all that we will never have a family visit.He has a drug problem that he has yet to admit to, probably because I had to comfront him about it via letter and the problems just keep coming.Through all this he put us in a position that now has me in trouble along with him.But even thorugh all this I love the man and a few days ago I got a letter saying that he loved me also.In all this my family is flipping out and it has occured to me that they are never going to be okay with him.Please ladies....would you stay???I need advise!!!My heart tells me that I need to stay, my head says there is a long road ahead and everyone who doesnt know him says leave.I am counting on you ladies who know about this life to help.
I'm not trying to be noisy but you asked for advice so I need more information before I give my input. You said that "he put you in a position that now has you in trouble along with him"...what exactly happened? Is it something you can talk about? If you don't feel comfortable, you can PM me. I think I may have an idea, but not sure.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 04-24-2005, 07:04 PM
missingmyhubie's Avatar
missingmyhubie missingmyhubie is offline
I miss him so much!!!
 

Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Somewhere out here!
Posts: 449
Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Default

I say pray about it and, listen to your heart. I wish you both the best.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 04-24-2005, 10:05 PM
Psalms31chick Psalms31chick is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA, LA
Posts: 1,014
Thanks: 29
Thanked 99 Times in 46 Posts
Default

Lord, have I prayed about it & it all ends up coming back to me as, I should forgive him and stay because I love him and because this is what the lord wants me to do.He is sick and he is weak and he needs help and if I am not there being the angel trying to show him a better way he will not find his way.I believe god uses to people to get a message accross & his message has to be "look what your doing, your mistakes are effecting the ones that love you!Change!!!!Get help!!!"If thats not clear then what is?Please when you ladies pray pray for him, HE needs your prayers more then I do!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 04-25-2005, 06:21 AM
thatwiz thatwiz is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 5,595
Thanks: 1,081
Thanked 3,310 Times in 1,684 Posts
Default

It sounds like you brought drugs in for him by the circumstances that you describe. I think you both need to take a look at whats going on. You say he got you into trouble, but if thats the case, thats your own will that got you in trouble and if he is an addict, you've got to be stronger than the one to give him drugs. You're both at fault-it's not entirely his. If you both can see what is wrong in this relationship and intend to fix it, then try if you feel it in your heart. He didn't put you in a position. You did. You knew what would happen if caught-shu, more time and you still went along with it, so I see you bailing out now as a cop out. It's not just him, but you also. If it was just him, your visits would not haave been taken away, which leads me to believe you were somehow involved. Just listen to your gut.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 04-25-2005, 06:30 AM
joenash4lyf's Avatar
joenash4lyf joenash4lyf is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Somewhere's hot!
Posts: 4,982
Thanks: 0
Thanked 12 Times in 8 Posts
Default

I just said a prayer for you,I can't really offer advice.Because I don't even know what I would do if I was in your shoes..Just depend on God..God bless
__________________






Jesus says- "I will never leave you nor forsake you"



Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 04-25-2005, 10:14 AM
Pinky99's Avatar
Pinky99 Pinky99 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 4,241
Thanks: 0
Thanked 32 Times in 22 Posts
Default

Girl, after reading your PM's to me all I can say is listen to your gut feeling. You know what's right for you and in the end hopefully you make the right decision for YOU.

Long story short, my man's mother...yup I said mother, got caught trying to sneak meth into the prison....really stupid move on her part! They ended up taking her to jail and even though she never made it into the visiting room they charged my man with "Conspiracy to Introduce Meth into the Prison." His stupid as@ mother ended up only getting 6 months in the county jail, while my man got 6 more years added onto his time, a 9 month SHU term, loss of all visits for 1 year followed by 2 years of Non-Contact. I had nothing to do with this and yet I'm being punished by not being able to see my man....as you can tell by my ticker.

I went back and forth trying to emotionally sort all of this out....should I stay or should I go. In the end, I love this man and regardless what anyone says, I know he loves me too...so I decided to continue to wait by his side. I truely believe that he has learned his lesson...however I told him that if he wants us to be able to make a life together he needs to cut off all ties with his mother because she is nothing but a bad influence on him. We need to move forward and with her in the picture we only move back. So we've removed her from both of our lives and are getting through this mess together.

Yes, I am a smart woman and I know what's right from wrong. Do I try to pretend that he's not at fault...hell no! However, he knows that when you play you pay. I'm staying by his side till the end, however I have explained to him that I don't want him to cry about having to do 6 more years because all of this shi# could have been prevented.

So with my long story said, you need to do a lot of self searching and ask yourself, "is this something you want to do? Do you want to deal with getting more time? Most importantly, do you think that he is willing to change?" You're his girlfriend/wife not his mother, so yes it is good for him to have a positive fugure in his life however he's not a little boy. You should not have to hold his hand, he knows what's right from wrong regardless if he has a drug problem or not. You both will definitely be in my prayers and you make your decision on your own, don't let others try to convince you what's right for YOU.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:58 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2019 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics