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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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Old 05-15-2018, 08:25 AM
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Default He broke it off

Ladies after 3 years together my man broke it off. I feel so depressed sad broken. He broke it off because of a visit. I was supposed to visit May 5th but I didn't show up NOT that I didn't want to but because the person who I was gonna carpool (who is one of his friends wife) called me three days before and told he she was gonna sneak some illegal stuff after I told her I would never do it she "changed" her mind I didn't trust her I have kids to take care an if she gets caught I go down as well cus she's my carpool. So he broke it up with me cus I didn't go cus of my own protection he called me a lying ass bitch that some other female can visit him an for me to move on. I was the only one who would help be there for him paid all his dumb debits I did everything except visit cus my car don't work yet an it won't make it an I thought I would trust my carpool an I'm glad she told me. Ladies how do I move on when he gave me the happiness I always needed an wanted I love him.
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Old 05-15-2018, 08:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carlaa_kayy View Post
Ladies after 3 years together my man broke it off. I feel so depressed sad broken. He broke it off because of a visit. I was supposed to visit May 5th but I didn't show up NOT that I didn't want to but because the person who I was gonna carpool (who is one of his friends wife) called me three days before and told he she was gonna sneak some illegal stuff after I told her I would never do it she "changed" her mind I didn't trust her I have kids to take care an if she gets caught I go down as well cus she's my carpool. So he broke it up with me cus I didn't go cus of my own protection he called me a lying ass bitch that some other female can visit him an for me to move on. I was the only one who would help be there for him paid all his dumb debits I did everything except visit cus my car don't work yet an it won't make it an I thought I would trust my carpool an I'm glad she told me. Ladies how do I move on when he gave me the happiness I always needed an wanted I love him.
Obviously, he is not worried about you. I'm truly sorry to say. You did the right thing. Sit in this and be reflective. I'm sure you will see thing clearer.
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Old 05-15-2018, 08:54 AM
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I don’t think someone calling you a lying ass bitch is the happiness you need. If he doesn’t understand why you didn’t go he’s selfish and only thinks about his needs. Move on and find someone that will treat you with love and respect or stay single and love yourself.
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Old 05-15-2018, 11:15 AM
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First and foremost I'm sorry that you're going through this. Second he doesn't respect you. If he did, he would totally understand that you didn't want to get caught up in anything like that. Take this as a sign and find someone who will love and appreciate you. I know it's hard right now, but it'll get better day by day.
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Old 05-15-2018, 05:26 PM
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You did the right thing, he sounds like an angry, using manipulator He did you a favor I’d block his number while I had the chance and lose him. Ask yourself what about him exactly do you love because he is not being loving to you deserve a lot better you are a smart woman you didn’t put yourself or your children in danger for a man. He doesn’t deserve you
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Old 05-15-2018, 07:35 PM
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I know it hurts when someone you love doesn't love you the same way. It is hard to come to terms when people don't meet our expirations of them. Remember, it is ok to be hurt, and it is ok to still love him right now.

Like others have said, if he is willing to break it off over such a small thing, especially when your own well being was on the line, he is not the one. Give the loss, accept that you deserve better, move on. It might not feel it now, but you will be better off in the long run.
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Old 05-17-2018, 06:10 PM
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He didn't love you. He was using you. My husband would NEVER ever dump me because I didn't make it to visit (especially for that reason!) I live in another state from him, I can only visit him one or two weekends a year from here on out. But he loves ME, and while he would like more visits, he knows it's not possible.
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Old 05-17-2018, 10:12 PM
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I suspect he was in on the plan for her to bring in contraband. They were probably gauging your reaction to see if you could be a reliable mule.

Give yourself some time to mourn the relationship, but I think in time you’ll think of this as a close call and you’ll be relieved to have gotten out when you could.
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Old 05-18-2018, 01:47 AM
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I'm gonna approach this from a different perspective. Is it possible that he was trying to protect his friend/himself/you and maybe even putting on an act? I'm assuming since you guys didn't visit that you told him about his friends wife trying to sneak illegal stuff in on the PHONE over a RECORDED LINE. This could cause his friend to get his visits taken away and in a lot of trouble- which in turn could put your boyfriend in a ton of danger and possibly labeled a snitch. And if the wife found out you were the reason why she can no longer see her husband maybe it would put you in danger.
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Old 05-18-2018, 06:51 AM
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Im sorry youre hurting over this.
But honestly? Probably a really GOOD thing.


Besides, if you didnt *pay off his stupid debts* maybe you would have your car running right now.


Glad the other person told you her plan, so you could avoid being in trouble too.
(and lose your visits probably forever anyways........and a possible record as well)


I hope you feel better but I really think you dodged a bullet here.
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Old 05-18-2018, 06:54 AM
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I have seen arrests for attempting to smuggle. And the other (innocent) rider get arrested. And the horror on the children's faces.
Mourn as you must, this is brutal.
No matter what story he may tell you in the future, when the money orders end, be strong.
He is a man and can take care of his own business.
Now you are a wise woman, not easily learned, but learned none the less.
And your children never have to see you in handcuffs, or experience the terror.
You have balls, Lady. I'm proud.
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Old 05-19-2018, 09:23 AM
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He is no loss I'd mark this up to a cheap lesson in life, as you should you were looking out for your life and that of your children.
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Old 05-19-2018, 08:51 PM
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Oh, you need to wave goodbye to this chump! He's willing to throw you over because you had a good reason not to visit? Pah! That's not looking out for your interests, or your children's. He clearly has much higher regard for his wants than for your needs, and that is the kind of thing that doesn't tend to change.
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Old 05-20-2018, 08:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Revenwyn View Post
He didn't love you. He was using you. My husband would NEVER ever dump me because I didn't make it to visit (especially for that reason!) I live in another state from him, I can only visit him one or two weekends a year from here on out. But he loves ME, and while he would like more visits, he knows it's not possible.
I agree with you Revenwyn! I was on my way to visit my love once, 2 hour drive, about an hour in I got caught in an unexpected blizzard. I figured I was half way there and was hoping it would get better. It only got worse. My 2 hour drive took me 4 hours. I was a wreck when I got there. He was SO angry at me for not turning around and not chancing it. He said my safety was WAY more important. I’ve also missed visits because of money issues, car trouble, no babysitter, cramps (LOL - JK!) ya know just life in general and he has never made me feel bad about it or dumped me because of it.

On another note, am I sensing a red flag here? The fact that he told her she was a lying ass bitch and then said that he would get other girls to come visit him?! That to me is not love, even if it was said out of spite, which makes it even less of a loving situation. It does sound like he was using and or trying to manipulate the situation. Sounds like he is a scammer. And I do believe she would be better off without him in her life. I would never be with someone who would guilt trip me over putting myself and the well-being of my children first. A real man or woman who is in prison and loves you would never want you to put yourself in a situation that would put you in a facility like they are currently in... that would be the last thing that they would want for their loved one.

Last edited by Chaddersgirl; 05-20-2018 at 08:31 PM.. Reason: Corrected a sentence.
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Old 05-21-2018, 07:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carlaa_kayy View Post
Ladies after 3 years together my man broke it off. I feel so depressed sad broken.

if she gets caught I go down as well cus she's my carpool.

So he broke it up with me cus I didn't go cus of my own protection he called me a lying ass bitch that some other female can visit him an for me to move on
.

Ladies how do I move on when he gave me the happiness

I always needed an wanted

I love him
.


How chica, simple y' hola...
-First, do not let any man break you...Don't do that. Cry, sure .Get it out, pero chica, it's not worth sittin' around being that way. You're worthy of more.So much more.

Few other things i want to add after reading how he ignore the fact you're doing the "right thing"by not going, where you're easily going to be arrested if yes, caught. So i want to share a few other things and that's


1.)Keep it movin', on to mature loyal great guy, #real man who is not going to disrespect your honor/your future with your children, your freedom simple as that.

2.)Any 1 who call me(if ever)and so far NO MAN has literally said this to me pero, if it ever happened to the point he has to call me a female dog the "B" word, and or any curse like the way your ex-factor has clearly disrespect you
verbal abuse IMO how he sound, i would not look back,even if i "love" him. I would realize mi worth as a #real woman and i would realize life is just way too preciosa, and way too short to waste ONE MORE DAY with such a man-child. If you're believing you're worthy of that?You're going to stay feasibly. If you know your worth, and love YOURSELF, you will strive to be respected always, DEMAND it,and if you're not getting it, tell him adios, and mean it, as greener pasture's i am sure await you....God bless you.
:BTW, you did the same thing i would have. Not goin' down for nobody.
hugs and blessings. adio..."
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Old Yesterday, 12:21 PM
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Just keep busy and keep reminding yourself of the dumb reason he was willing to let you go.
My man would NEVER break up with me over anything like that. First he would never even let me ride with someone else because he doesn't trust anyone esp when it comes to me.
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