Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-05-2012, 03:33 PM
lesliew32's Avatar
lesliew32 lesliew32 is offline
watching the clock
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: taylors sc
Posts: 676
Thanks: 0
Thanked 272 Times in 146 Posts
Default Haven't heard from him in 24 days

today is day 24 without hearing a word from him. I've been reading and realizing how strong of love you ladies have with their man. I only have a broken heart as a child and two recent months of this man apologies for it and promising me to spend the rest of his life making it up to me. We used to talk every day for a month. In most cases three or four times. First him asking about me then swiftly asking about my children he now said he regretted wasn't his. He had me go so far as to send him pictures of me and my children after all's these years he even refused to call me by my married name since it wasn't his. Like I said these last few months ment the world to me after all these years going by. We were each others first and we've never forgotten. We talked about everything and our future. He never prepared me for him disappearing. He just always promised to make up for lost time of hurting me 20 years ago. What do you think I should do? I called the prison if he is in fact in the hole they give him so many stamps to write me. Yet I've heard nothing. What would you ladies do. He felt so sincere in his words yet now I hear nothing.I'm struggling with the pain of 20 years ago and now possibly broken promises. I'm a prisoner in my mind of not knowing how to move on or how to let go if I need to. He has four more years to do and said he would never ask me to do this time with him. That no matter what he promised to get out and find me and mercy for the man I'm with cause he knows he has always had my heart. Ladies its not the time that I can't do. Its the uncertainty of why he went away. Am I being a fool because I'm unaware of this lifestyle. Is 24 days typical if a love one is in trouble? He was using an illegal pin number to call me since he got busted with a cellphone. However I'm not sure if he is in trouble for it the prison want tell me. I just know he is gone and it hurts. I know I'm beautiful and strong and going to college I'm a great mother to my kids. I don't need a man my life is content or was until he came back. I love him and I guess I always will. I don't need him I want him. Please ladies what should I do 24 days of nothing is driving me crazy. Missing him in pain would turn to pleasure if I knew he was missing me to! My Facebook has been replaced with prison talk I'm trapped what do I do. If you can't tell me what would you do. Do I continue to write with no response and if so for how long? Until I stop loving him?
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 01-05-2012, 03:43 PM
nakeisha99's Avatar
nakeisha99 nakeisha99 is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Philly, PA
Posts: 1,789
Thanks: 4,059
Thanked 1,890 Times in 886 Posts
Default

This is a tough call. He may feel like he's doing you a favor by removing himself from the picture. My guy tried to do the same thing (verbally tried to push me away). Truth is, there isn't much you can do. It sucks I know. You can write and write until your fingers fall off, but the ball is in his court. I think I would try to ensure he has money and/or writing material. Perhaps there is a good reason for his sudden disappearance. If he still doesn't communicate with you, what else can you do but more on.
__________________
He's home!!!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 01-05-2012, 03:49 PM
lesliew32's Avatar
lesliew32 lesliew32 is offline
watching the clock
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: taylors sc
Posts: 676
Thanks: 0
Thanked 272 Times in 146 Posts
Default

I know the truth stairs me in the face. I just can't accept it I guess. I have men falling for me just not the one that counts. I've died from this pain I just have to mourn my death and move on a changed one I guess. He promised to always find me. I guess I should write and let him know after this I don't want to ever be found
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 01-05-2012, 03:49 PM
lil peep's Avatar
lil peep lil peep is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Warmer pastures
Posts: 2,776
Thanks: 7,960
Thanked 3,339 Times in 1,672 Posts
Default

I'm so sorry you're going through this! *hugs* I don't know how much longer you should keep writing...I mean, a month is a long time to go with no contact whatsoever. Even if he was in the hole, they do still get mail and can get paper so if he wanted to contact you, he could. I would give it a full month maybe and then let him know you can't keep going on like this. It's not fair to you.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 01-05-2012, 04:01 PM
lesliew32's Avatar
lesliew32 lesliew32 is offline
watching the clock
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: taylors sc
Posts: 676
Thanks: 0
Thanked 272 Times in 146 Posts
Default

I know I guess I can always ask why? Why would someone say so many things and promises then just go away. I know its not me. I'm very confident. It just shirts he wont let me love him. You would think he would want a woman as great as me to lean on. I guess not I k ow if a man wants something they find away to get to i. And I'm not his it. I just feel so violated and mind # ucked from all he said. He made me feel so special and I believed his words. Now I realize they ment nothing to him. And only the world to me
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 01-05-2012, 04:05 PM
kevinwife's Avatar
kevinwife kevinwife is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: CA.
Posts: 50
Thanks: 54
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lesliew32
today is day 24 without hearing a word from him. I've been reading and realizing how strong of love you ladies have with their man. I only have a broken heart as a child and two recent months of this man apologies for it and promising me to spend the rest of his life making it up to me. We used to talk every day for a month. In most cases three or four times. First him asking about me then swiftly asking about my children he now said he regretted wasn't his. He had me go so far as to send him pictures of me and my children after all's these years he even refused to call me by my married name since it wasn't his. Like i said these last few months ment the world to me after all these years going by. We were each others first and we've never forgotten. We talked about everything and our future. He never prepared me for him disappearing. He just always promised to make up for lost time of hurting me 20 years ago. What do you think i should do? I called the prison if he is in fact in the hole they give him so many stamps to write me. Yet i've heard nothing. What would you ladies do. He felt so sincere in his words yet now i hear nothing.i'm struggling with the pain of 20 years ago and now possibly broken promises. I'm a prisoner in my mind of not knowing how to move on or how to let go if i need to. He has four more years to do and said he would never ask me to do this time with him. That no matter what he promised to get out and find me and mercy for the man i'm with cause he knows he has always had my heart. Ladies its not the time that i can't do. Its the uncertainty of why he went away. Am i being a fool because i'm unaware of this lifestyle. Is 24 days typical if a love one is in trouble? He was using an illegal pin number to call me since he got busted with a cellphone. However i'm not sure if he is in trouble for it the prison want tell me. I just know he is gone and it hurts. I know i'm beautiful and strong and going to college i'm a great mother to my kids. I don't need a man my life is content or was until he came back. I love him and i guess i always will. I don't need him i want him. Please ladies what should i do 24 days of nothing is driving me crazy. Missing him in pain would turn to pleasure if i knew he was missing me to! My facebook has been replaced with prison talk i'm trapped what do i do. If you can't tell me what would you do. Do i continue to write with no response and if so for how long? Until i stop loving him?
my hubby was in the hole for six mths and we communicated.if ur man was in trouble the prison will not reveal the reason but they could tell you that much.i was still able to visit him,send letters and receive them from him.i had a friend tell me that if they are "c status"its total restictions.have he been transfered?also...where my guy is now...im hearing the mail is jacked up out there coming in and going out.hopefully u will hear from him soon.
__________________
IMSODELICIOUS
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 01-05-2012, 04:47 PM
FluffyMcNutter's Avatar
FluffyMcNutter FluffyMcNutter is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: NC, USA
Posts: 181
Thanks: 381
Thanked 218 Times in 106 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lesliew32 View Post
He was using an illegal pin number to call me since he got busted with a cellphone.
Oh yeah. I'm guessing he's in trouble. He's gotten (or may have gotten) caught twice for phone use. I don't think prisons are a big fan of that. It may be a while before you hear from him. If you have no reason to think that he's choosing to not contact you, then my money's on him being in the hole without the ability to contact you.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to FluffyMcNutter For This Useful Post:
countryzgirl (01-06-2012)
  #8  
Old 01-05-2012, 05:09 PM
rose80's Avatar
rose80 rose80 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 438
Thanks: 71
Thanked 109 Times in 84 Posts
Default

I would write everyday, no matter what. If you love him, write him. Hang in there girl, think positive and you will hear from him soon!!!
__________________


Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you will be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do and dammed if you don't" - Eleanor Roosevelt




Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 01-05-2012, 05:24 PM
FastCarGirl's Avatar
FastCarGirl FastCarGirl is offline
Onto the next hurdle
 

Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Playing Secret Squirrel
Posts: 4,047
Thanks: 4,482
Thanked 4,506 Times in 2,068 Posts
Default

When I met my Romeo, he had a period of 6 MONTHS where he wasn't allowed a pen or paper or a phone call. So, there really are ways, times and reasons that they can't call and write. Getting in trouble like that might have put him on a major downward spiral mentally. Don't let your past rule your heart. If you want it to be over, nothing can stop that, but if it's real, keep on writing. There truly are some things beyond their control.
__________________






Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to FastCarGirl For This Useful Post:
bmt0410 (01-06-2012), Sheryl P. (01-06-2012)
  #10  
Old 01-05-2012, 05:28 PM
1Ofakind!! 1Ofakind!! is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ca
Posts: 2,057
Thanks: 2
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

Well you know he's in the hole and for a cellphone right? So that probably put him immeadiately on the mail watch list as a cell phone is illegal unauthorized communication...so all communication will be screened thoroughly.

Just because the rules say mail is supposed to be processed in 7 days doesn't mean it will be especially in this circumstance.

Hang in there and hope for the best
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to 1Ofakind!! For This Useful Post:
FastCarGirl (01-05-2012), Sheryl P. (01-06-2012)
  #11  
Old 01-05-2012, 07:43 PM
lesliew32's Avatar
lesliew32 lesliew32 is offline
watching the clock
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: taylors sc
Posts: 676
Thanks: 0
Thanked 272 Times in 146 Posts
Default

Wow for a moment I had forgotten about this mess. I was enjoying the innocent moments shared with my children. I find this world I'm now apart of is a prisoner of my head. Some moments I feel such joy smiling out loud and the things that he has said. Twice tonight my girls have asked me while I'm smiling. And the truth is I have hope that love wins all and I will be with him again. However the sad truth is tomorrow might night feel so bright. However this roller coaster life is what I live.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 01-06-2012, 07:45 AM
Sexy_Bella's Avatar
Sexy_Bella Sexy_Bella is offline
in it 4 eternity
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: ****
Posts: 375
Thanks: 579
Thanked 310 Times in 170 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by FastCarGirl
When I met my Romeo, he had a period of 6 MONTHS where he wasn't allowed a pen or paper or a phone call. So, there really are ways, times and reasons that they can't call and write. Getting in trouble like that might have put him on a major downward spiral mentally. Don't let your past rule your heart. If you want it to be over, nothing can stop that, but if it's real, keep on writing. There truly are some things beyond their control.
I have never heard of 6 months without being allowed pens,paper, mail. @OP.. 24 days is a long time. you should have heard something by now.im sorry he did this to you again. Try to be strong, obviously he is not worth your tears. (((((hugs)))))
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 01-06-2012, 08:20 AM
thatwiz thatwiz is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 5,595
Thanks: 1,081
Thanked 3,310 Times in 1,684 Posts
Default

^If you keep breaking the rules, they can cease communication with everybody. If he was calling her on someones PIN everything is recorded, so they have her number and her name- he might not be able to communicate with her the rest of his bid. Hopefully that won't happen, but if he's not supposed to be on the phone and finds away around that, then gets caught. he won't be talking to her anymore and they may also stop mail as they may feel she's a threat to security, since he can't follow the rules.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to thatwiz For This Useful Post:
countryzgirl (01-06-2012), Sheryl P. (01-06-2012)
  #14  
Old 01-06-2012, 08:54 AM
D3nie D3nie is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 262
Thanks: 281
Thanked 116 Times in 58 Posts
Default

Try to hold on and just remember to breathe - I feel that way right now too! And its only been 12 days counting today! I would venture a guess that yea, he got busted for the cellphone and they are all working it out. I guess I always feel like, surely there has got to be SOME way that they can get a message to us, but the truth might be that they CAN'T - they are in prison, not like We ever forget that! What was his last letter to you like? I would think that if he was just falling off - he would have been at least hinting at that in his letters to you, was he? If it really happened from one day to the next, it could be he got in trouble. Good luck, keep trying to smile - I feel the same way - no more fb for me, who understands THIS there?!??
Danie
__________________
One Step Closer
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 01-06-2012, 09:08 AM
lesliew32's Avatar
lesliew32 lesliew32 is offline
watching the clock
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: taylors sc
Posts: 676
Thanks: 0
Thanked 272 Times in 146 Posts
Default

The last letter he said I made him feel a live higher than anyone or any drug. That he loves me and no matter what happens between us he would always come for me when he got out. The last phone call ended with him saying I love you ill call you back. I've heard nothing since then. His last letter was dated the 5th of December and he was so happy to spend Christmas with me. Now all the holidays have passed and. December 12th is the last day I've heard from him.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 01-06-2012, 09:09 AM
NickNack's Avatar
NickNack NickNack is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 68
Thanks: 0
Thanked 10 Times in 7 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lesliew32
I know I guess I can always ask why? Why would someone say so many things and promises then just go away. I know its not me. I'm very confident. It just shirts he wont let me love him. You would think he would want a woman as great as me to lean on. I guess not I k ow if a man wants something they find away to get to i. And I'm not his it. I just feel so violated and mind # ucked from all he said. He made me feel so special and I believed his words. Now I realize they ment nothing to him. And only the world to me
Crazy because I feel similar ..I can't see it coming down my eyes though *Too strong been thru too much* I wont fall in any more traps I deserve better and so do you! It's hard I know but time heals all it's someone out there for everyone sucks that's we are all blinded by what we think is love rather than seeing clearly to what it really is! Stay strong you're in my prayers! I'm going to pm you soo much more I have to say about this situation! So much more!
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 01-06-2012, 09:12 AM
lesliew32's Avatar
lesliew32 lesliew32 is offline
watching the clock
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: taylors sc
Posts: 676
Thanks: 0
Thanked 272 Times in 146 Posts
Default

K girl thanks me too.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 01-06-2012, 09:13 AM
NickNack's Avatar
NickNack NickNack is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 68
Thanks: 0
Thanked 10 Times in 7 Posts
Default

Also just think positive maybe it's not so bad often times we have too much time to think and always think the worst however I an praying for you that things will be ok with you guys and that he come to you with a reasonable explanation *I mean anything could've happened in there* instead of a bogus excuse!! Keep your head up lady!
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 01-06-2012, 09:15 AM
NickNack's Avatar
NickNack NickNack is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 68
Thanks: 0
Thanked 10 Times in 7 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rose80
I would write everyday, no matter what. If you love him, write him. Hang in there girl, think positive and you will hear from him soon!!!
:-)
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 01-06-2012, 09:23 AM
lesliew32's Avatar
lesliew32 lesliew32 is offline
watching the clock
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: taylors sc
Posts: 676
Thanks: 0
Thanked 272 Times in 146 Posts
Default

Thanks I do want to write guess ill swallow my pride and write him. When I'm ready to move on if I haven't heard back then I will. At least ill know in my heart I tried.
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 01-06-2012, 09:47 AM
TraeNBoo's Avatar
TraeNBoo TraeNBoo is offline
On The Stairway To Heaven
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,047
Thanks: 485
Thanked 646 Times in 379 Posts
Default

I can only hope he has a valid excuse for not writing you and calling you. Its beyond unfair to play with peoples emotions so I guess until proven otherwise you can just assume theres a damned good reason for silence for almost a month.
__________________



Never be ashamed of the scars that life has left you with. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed, you endured the pain & God has healed you.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 01-06-2012, 09:58 AM
Sheryl P.'s Avatar
Sheryl P. Sheryl P. is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: california
Posts: 5,162
Thanks: 2,740
Thanked 3,958 Times in 2,167 Posts
Default

My guess is he ended up in ad seg for the cell phone.
They have to wait for commisary sometimes to buy a pen to write with.
It can take some time,if their last commisary was just before he went in (a month).
My guy is on the close read list (I assume) and his mail goes 250 miles.
It takes about a month for him to get my mail and about two weeks for me to get his mail reply.
I would not jump to any conclusions since you do not know if the lack of communication was his idea at all.
They may also ban you if his phone infraction was a call to you.
You did notice the lack of a recording on his call and took it anyway,correct?
If mine tried to call on a cell,I would let him know I was NOT happy!
Hope you get a letter explaining soon.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 01-06-2012, 10:13 AM
lesliew32's Avatar
lesliew32 lesliew32 is offline
watching the clock
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: taylors sc
Posts: 676
Thanks: 0
Thanked 272 Times in 146 Posts
Default

Can they ban my letters from him? If so how long? Should I send letters from alternate address?
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 01-06-2012, 10:16 AM
TraeNBoo's Avatar
TraeNBoo TraeNBoo is offline
On The Stairway To Heaven
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,047
Thanks: 485
Thanked 646 Times in 379 Posts
Default

Have you tried calling his facility? I am not sure if they can ban your letters but it seems from what I read on here they really can and will do whatever the heck they want...
__________________



Never be ashamed of the scars that life has left you with. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed, you endured the pain & God has healed you.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 01-06-2012, 10:20 AM
lesliew32's Avatar
lesliew32 lesliew32 is offline
watching the clock
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: taylors sc
Posts: 676
Thanks: 0
Thanked 272 Times in 146 Posts
Default

I called is dorm isn't on lock down. And can't tell me if he is for privacy
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:49 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2019 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics