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Federal General Prison Talk, Introductions & Chit Chat Topics & Discussions relating to the Federal Prison & the Criminal Justice System that do not fit into any other Federal sub-forum category. Please feel free to also introduce yourself to other members in the state and talk about whatever topics come to mind that may not have anything to do with prison.

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Old 02-23-2005, 11:15 AM
yanigirl yanigirl is offline
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Default Feds N Funerals!


Well my sweetie's grandfather recently passed away. He put in all the appropriate paper work to be able to attend but as of last night has not heard anything back. The funeral is today. Does this mean he can't attend? I feel so bad why do the feds even bother having paper work if they will not let anyone go. It was the same crap when my dad'd brother passed they denied him at the last minute. My sweetie sounded so down yesterday I wish there was something I could do to make it better. He kept talking about how bad his mom was taking it and I was thinking to send how flowers from my sweetie. What do you guys think I should do? Is it appropriate to send them the day after the funeral or do you send them to the funeral? I don't know what to do. Do you all think his mom will mind if I did somehing like this?
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Old 02-23-2005, 11:53 AM
cbrey cbrey is offline
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By all means, send her some flowers- maybe a plant-it is never too late to express ones sympathy-Just have them sent to her home with a short note. She will be very grateful.
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Old 02-23-2005, 01:22 PM
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Csmcgrl23 Csmcgrl23 is offline
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This just sucks. The same thing happened to my man, his Mother died and he put in the paper work and at first they had him thinking he could go then they said no. It was so sad. They can't just up and take them, the marshalls have to come and escort them everywhere they go so that's why it's hard to get approved. But you are right, why have the paperwork if you're not going to say yes? I would still send the flowers for sure.
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Old 02-23-2005, 01:34 PM
Zelda50 Zelda50 is offline
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There's a phrase a friend of mine and I always use when we send something on behalf of our loved ones in prison. So, if you send flowers (and I think it's a really sweet idea), you might think of adding this.
"He would if he could." Zelda
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Old 02-23-2005, 03:27 PM
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ontheroadagain ontheroadagain is offline
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My condolences to the family on the loss of their loved one. By all means send the flowers, I'm sure it will be appreciated.

A loss is very difficult to deal with out here and being locked up makes the burden even harder to deal with. My prayer for your sweetie is that God touches his heart to help lessen the pain he is feeling.

One thing I would like to add when they are not allowed to go to the funeral it is at least to me sometimes its better in the long run. Here is why I feel that way, the image they carry of their loved one is when they were alive. When they remember them it is good memories and full of life. Not in a casket at a funeral home, not an image I myself would want to carry with me while doing time. I hope that makes some sense to you. Perhaps if you can explain it to him that way, in a small way it might help him.
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Old 02-23-2005, 04:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ontheroadagain
My condolences to the family on the loss of their loved one. By all means send the flowers, I'm sure it will be appreciated.

A loss is very difficult to deal with out here and being locked up makes the burden even harder to deal with. My prayer for your sweetie is that God touches his heart to help lessen the pain he is feeling.

One thing I would like to add when they are not allowed to go to the funeral it is at least to me sometimes its better in the long run. Here is why I feel that way, the image they carry of their loved one is when they were alive. When they remember them it is good memories and full of life. Not in a casket at a funeral home, not an image I myself would want to carry with me while doing time. I hope that makes some sense to you. Perhaps if you can explain it to him that way, in a small way it might help him.
That makes total sense. My man was really sad when his Mom died and when he couldn't go to her funeral. He said that he misses her but since he is in there and didn't go to the funeral it's not like she's really gone. He was already missing her from being locked up so far away from her. He said that when he gets out he will have to deal with it, it will be like she just died for him when he goes to the cemetary. It's sad either way, one way or the other they have to come to terms with the loss. Some people really do need that chance to say the final goodbye and I can't stand that the BOP doesn't let people do that.
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