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  #1  
Old 08-31-2016, 11:00 AM
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missingdee missingdee is offline
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Default When did you know you loved her?

Okay, we all talk about ways our LO has changed, ways she makes us proud, how she feels about freedom and so forth.

So here's a new one for all of you....when did you know that you loved her? This should be interesting since some of us are MBI and some of us are MWI so I expect a wide variety of answers.

And of course, ladies, you're welcome to chime in with your stories about your boyfriends/husbands as well.

For me...Dee was love at first sight. I was working in the same neighborhood that she had just moved into and it was just....I saw her and I felt the earth move. I don't know any other way to describe it, and no, it wasn't an earthquake. And I decided I needed to get to know this woman.

So I just started chatting her up.

I never had any doubt after that. It was a really surreal, bizarre moment in my life. But she's proven every step of the way, even in the hardest times, that every moment is worth it.
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  #2  
Old 08-31-2016, 04:42 PM
WaitingWilkes WaitingWilkes is offline
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We'd been married for 5 years when she went in. We dated for a couple of months, during which I got smitten. She was very bright and very pretty and I was flattered that she dated me in the first place. The more time we spent together, the more we realized we were meant for each other. We were comfortable with each other. We thought alike, wanted the same things; careers, parenthood, love. She had a very bad time delivering our daughter. I was terribly afraid I'd lose her. I was so happy and relieved when she delivered our healthy baby girl and the doctor said she'd be fine after she recuperated. I could never have guessed I'd lose her to the system. This may sound strange but I'd marry her again even knowing how or lives would turn out. Having her in my life, as limited as our time together is, is better than not having her in it at all. I can handle her being inside. I couldn't handle her being gone.
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Old 09-01-2016, 05:55 AM
whataride whataride is offline
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We were seeing each other a few months, she was still actively using so we didnt spend as much time together as we could of but still enough. One day she came over and we went shopping for food because she was going to stay for a few days at the store she was skipping down an aisle and singing and I knew right then I was in trouble. It has been a long road with us off and on over the last few years but we always gravitate back to each other. If she can stay clean we have a shot if she doesnt we wont last
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Old 09-01-2016, 09:48 AM
WaitingWilkes WaitingWilkes is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whataride View Post
We were seeing each other a few months, she was still actively using so we didnt spend as much time together as we could of but still enough. One day she came over and we went shopping for food because she was going to stay for a few days at the store she was skipping down an aisle and singing and I knew right then I was in trouble. It has been a long road with us off and on over the last few years but we always gravitate back to each other. If she can stay clean we have a shot if she doesnt we wont last
How's her program working?
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Old 09-01-2016, 11:49 AM
Mrs. Iimas Mrs. Iimas is offline
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When I first started seeing my man I told him about my history with men and that I was over games. I didn't want to invest any time or energy in a man that was still playing the field. I was tired of getting hurt. He told me he wouldn't play with my heart. Day in and day out he showed me he wanted to be the man I was looking for. He was very attentive and bonded with my son. He constantly made himself available to be with me and never hid anything. I had a rough day one evening and came home to a letter from my ex and I started crying- he had been trying to reach me and professed his love to me and wanted to give us another shot. That night my boyfriend turned to me and told me no one could love me like he can and he just hugged me. That was when I knew he was the one.
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Old 09-01-2016, 12:38 PM
pretzellogic79 pretzellogic79 is offline
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The first time I laid eyes on him in his Marine Corps formal uniform...I was done. Of course, that was a case of mad infatuation and the love followed over the years. In the course of those first few years, he deployed overseas and came home with a nasty heroin habit - prescription pills first eventually progressing to heroin. When that spiraled out of control, we had to split.

As much hurt as his addiction caused me, I will always remember the love he showed me before all of that more. I will always believe he is more than his addiction no matter where our lives take us from here either together or separate. He loved me despite my many flaws and me despite his. I will never see in any other man's eyes what I see in his.
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Old 09-02-2016, 05:47 AM
whataride whataride is offline
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How's her program working?
She went to her first NA meeting in prison on Wed this week and liked it. She has been reading the bible and I sent in a NA book for her. She will be put in the drug treatment in prison towards the end of her time there which actually is a good program where she is. Putting her program together is in the beginning stages right now but she says she has been sober since being locked up in May. She wants to change and I have seen signs of the effort she is putting in and right now that is all I can ask of her.
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Old 09-02-2016, 08:39 AM
WaitingWilkes WaitingWilkes is offline
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She went to her first NA meeting in prison on Wed this week and liked it. She has been reading the bible and I sent in a NA book for her. She will be put in the drug treatment in prison towards the end of her time there which actually is a good program where she is. Putting her program together is in the beginning stages right now but she says she has been sober since being locked up in May. She wants to change and I have seen signs of the effort she is putting in and right now that is all I can ask of her.
She's making progress. Acknowledging that she has a problem, accepting help and following professional advice will move her toward where she needs to be. Drugs are available so she'll really have to work to stay clean and change her life. She'll have to fight the temptation to take something to make reality recede for a little while. When is she due to be released?
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Old 09-02-2016, 09:37 PM
blueshogun96 blueshogun96 is offline
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3 months in. Honestly, I still have trouble believing love exists, but I'm trying to really hard. We both have a lot of baggage, but we counter each others baggage quite well.

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Sorry guys, I 'tried' to believe in that true love stuff. I genuinely tried...
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Old 09-02-2016, 10:23 PM
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How or when did I know I loved him? When I felt a huge " thud " in my chest. We had been seeing eachother off and on for over a year, our relationship tapered off and we hadn't seen eachother for three months or so, one day I "googled" him. The news of his arrest and charges were shocking, and left me speechless with a " thud" but answered many questions I had.
After a few days I wrote a letter, we write frequently and he answered all my questions. We write, I visit, and hope to have a nice life with him when he paroles. Incarceration has made things difficult, but built a strong relationship.
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  #11  
Old 09-03-2016, 06:42 AM
whataride whataride is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WaitingWilkes View Post
She's making progress. Acknowledging that she has a problem, accepting help and following professional advice will move her toward where she needs to be. Drugs are available so she'll really have to work to stay clean and change her life. She'll have to fight the temptation to take something to make reality recede for a little while. When is she due to be released?
The good thing is when we were together previosly she did the rehab thing so she knows what to do she jsut has to do it. We split up a few days before she was ot be released and yes drugs were in rehab and at her job but she didnt use, we split up and she used shortly after. I am the only person in her life the last few years who is totally sober and tries to help her live a better way. She says drugs are everywhere in her prison but she hasnt used and with the change in alot of behaviors I believe her as of now.

With gain time she will be out in Jan 2018, without its May 2018. She has been locked up since May 1 this year. We are still waiting for my visits to be approved we are about 45 days in since she got to her perm place.
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Old 09-03-2016, 12:09 PM
WaitingWilkes WaitingWilkes is offline
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I am the only person in her life the last few years who is totally sober and tries to help her live a better way. She says drugs are everywhere in her prison but she hasnt used and with the change in alot of behaviors I believe her as of now.
Your support is probably the most important factor in her recovery. You'll spot it immediately on visits if she slips. Knowing you'll know might give her more incentive to stay clean.
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Old 12-10-2016, 06:34 PM
kforbes862 kforbes862 is offline
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For me, the first time i visited her, we hugged and there was "magic" in it. That has grown over the last couple years.
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Old 05-27-2017, 02:50 PM
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It was a kiss.
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Old 05-27-2017, 03:44 PM
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It's funny, but I have been reading some of our old messages lately. Because she had kids I really didn't think that we would be anything but friends. It took months before the L word was used, but I can pinpoint a single sentence from a message at the end our first month of correspondence where I knew I loved her. I didn't know what that love meant at the time, but she described something in a way that just stays with me.
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Old 05-28-2017, 02:50 AM
MissingMaddie MissingMaddie is offline
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I saw her twice at a friend place just briefly. I pestered my friend for her number not knowing she was doing the same thing. The first time we met up for a coffee lasted almost a week. I knew then she was unlike anyone I've ever met and what we had was something I've never experienced before. That was four years ago now and we have lived together for 2 years And been married for a couple months. Unfortunately then her sentancing date came and is now 2weeks in to her 7 year stretch. It's probably not the best way to start married life but I felt it was one of the best ways to show her I mean to be here for her. When she gets out I'll have done everything I can to set up the rest of our life afterwards.
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Old 05-28-2017, 01:35 PM
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I don't know if I love her but I keep taking care of her. Maybe that's the same thing.
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Old 05-30-2017, 12:45 PM
WaitingWilkes WaitingWilkes is offline
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I don't know if I love her but I keep taking care of her. Maybe that's the same thing.
If it's not, it's probably close enough for her.
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Old 05-30-2017, 12:57 PM
WaitingWilkes WaitingWilkes is offline
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... been married for a couple months. Unfortunately then her sentancing date came and is now 2weeks in to her 7 year stretch. It's probably not the best way to start married life but I felt it was one of the best ways to show her I mean to be here for her. When she gets out I'll have done everything I can to set up the rest of our life afterwards.
You can do it and so can she, with your love and support.
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