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Prison & Jail Wedding Information Central Everything about getting married in prison or jail. Notices, pictures, questions, stories, what to expect.

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  #1  
Old 11-08-2003, 02:33 AM
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Default NEW YORK Marriage Q&A thread

If you have been married in a New York prison and would like to share with everyone then please post. Here is a list of questions and if you can add anything else then please do so.


1. Did you have any counsling
2. How long did the whole process take
3. Did you have to find your own minister
4. Were you allowed any flowers or disposable camera
5. How many guests were allowed to be there
6. What was the process to get the marriage license
7. What were the costs you had to pay
8. What were the two of you allowed to wear
9. Were you allowed to bring a wedding band in for him or did it have to be mailed and what was the value limit

Last edited by TNC; 03-01-2005 at 09:59 PM..
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  #2  
Old 12-29-2003, 12:57 PM
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Default Coxsackie Correctional, Greene County, NY

I got married in Coxsackie Correctional, Greene County, NY- We did not receive counseling, per se, but we had to sit down with his counselor and speak about the process. The counselor sat with me very briefly and asked me specifics about my husband's arrest and sentence, just to make sure that I knew what I was getting into. The whole process took about a month or so, maybe less. We were trying to get my own minister, but they denied it saying that she was not licensed to marry in NY. (Which was incorrect) The town clerk married us for $75. I was not allowed anything in the visiting room except for his wedding ring and the money for the clerk. They did give us 1 free polaroid picture. We were allowed to have two witnesses- two other inmates. My mother was present also. I did hear of another couple who were allowed 8 people with them. The process for the marriage license was all handled by the town clerk. There was a fee of $25 (?) I had to pay to get all of that completed. In total I payed about $100 to get married (money wise, it was very good, but it's still not equal to him being home)- I was allowed to wear anything I wanted, of course, as long as I followed the dressing rules. He wore a white shirt and his state greens. The value limit for his wedding ring was $150- the only thing that I had a problem with was the amount of unrelated people who continually tried to talk me out of it. I hope this helps. Thanks!
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  #3  
Old 01-05-2004, 09:02 PM
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Default Acf

I got married at ACF. First, we met with his counselor who was very nice and helpful. He reviewed my husband's file with me to be certain I knew what I was getting into and provided the necessary information about obtaining the marriage license and whatever else I needed to know and do.

No outside guests were allowed, (later they could visit us in the visit room). Present at the ceremony were the witnesses for the bride/groom, two CO's, a photographer and of course the JP. We had purchased picture tickets several weeks before the wedding and the photographer took whatever pictures we wanted. The JP we elected to marry us was very nice; I had several conversations with him prior to the weddinig and he was extremely helpful and he allowed us to incorporate into the ceremony any additional personal rite(s) we wanted. Everyone was very nice, even the CO's, one who knew our "history;" he knew how long it was we knew each other before we married. . . .

All I had to do was bring in his ring, pay the $$ to the JP for his fee and everything else went quite smoothly.

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  #4  
Old 01-12-2004, 12:49 PM
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rosepetal..sounds great..good for you..i wish u alllllllllllllllll the happiness in the world!
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  #5  
Old 03-07-2004, 05:06 PM
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Default Wyoming Correctional Facility in Attica NY

I was married at Wyoming Correctional Facility in Attica NY.... Both my fiance and I had to write the superintendant requesting to get married. The superintendant then send the approval to his counselor, his counselor meets with him and asked him if thats what he wanted and he filled out some paperwork. She sent me the paperwork that I had to fill out and I sent it right back out to her. She then called and set up an appointment with her. I went and met with her and my fiance was there and we went over his rap sheet and what he was in for and his bid and release date. Then after that appointment the deputy town clerk called to set up an appointment and I had to take in my birth certificate and lisence and his stuff etc. We signed the paperwork and picked a date and she contacted the judge and everything for us. That how it went for me
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  #6  
Old 03-23-2004, 06:28 PM
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they do not conduct weddings at downstate, at least that is my understanding. you'll have to wait till your guy has been sent to his final destination. you are expected to provide the clergy to perform the ceremony..who must be approved by the facility. good luck
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  #7  
Old 04-26-2004, 09:46 PM
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Default Clinton Correctional Facility

I got married April 10, 2004 at Clinton Correctional Facility. It was a truly different experience. Our friends were our witnesses which made more personal. But it was quick one minute I was single next a married woman.
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  #8  
Old 04-26-2004, 10:08 PM
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Default Odgenburg correctional

my husband is now at clinton correctioal. But we got married at Odgenburg correctional aug 7 2001 and was the best day of out life. very personal family was there nothing like i would have wanted on the out side but it was well worth it and our 1st and only child just turned 1

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  #9  
Old 05-29-2004, 04:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet_Pea_F79
I was married at Wyoming Correctional Facility in Attica NY.... Both my fiance and I had to write the superintendant requesting to get married. The superintendant then send the approval to his counselor, his counselor meets with him and asked him if thats what he wanted and he filled out some paperwork. She sent me the paperwork that I had to fill out and I sent it right back out to her. She then called and set up an appointment with her. I went and met with her and my fiance was there and we went over his rap sheet and what he was in for and his bid and release date. Then after that appointment the deputy town clerk called to set up an appointment and I had to take in my birth certificate and lisence and his stuff etc. We signed the paperwork and picked a date and she contacted the judge and everything for us. That how it went for me
Congrats! That is good to hear my fiance was in wyoming and I was going to marry him there as well. But thank God he was sent closer to home not 8hrs away but 1hr 45min now. He does not have much time left and still wants to go through it. Me on the other hand since he only has 8 months to go would rather wait. We have been together 11 yrs. And I love him dearly.We have gone through our ups and downs and break ups to make up. But for some strange reason always get back together.
Your information on the process in getting married was very helpful I also Had to right to the superintendent of his facility and maybe have to go through the same process you did since its in New York State.
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  #10  
Old 05-29-2004, 07:16 PM
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Default Attica

rosepetal, If by ACF you mean Attica, your wedding was much different than mine. I was married in Attica. The paperwork itself wasn't too complicated. Write a letter asking for permission from the Superintendent (only slightly humiliating). The groom gets a wedding packet to fill out, I recieved a simple form to fill out and mail back. A week later you call to make an appointment with the FRP councelor, then it had to be on a Wed, I think now it is Tues. The Family Reunion Counselor and the Town clerk met with us, we paid 25$ (money order to Attica Town clerk) for the license and the FRP counselor did his job of being rude and trying to humiliate us. For the Town Clerk you need birth certificate, license, and any divorce papers you might have from prior marrages.The second half of the meeting my husband (to be) left the room. At this point the FRP counselor asked if I knew the specifics of the sentence and crime, which I did. Then he continued to predict the future of my husband getting hit at the board continually. I found this man to be rude, egotistical and competely the wrong type of person for what the job is perceived to be, going by the title. I have talked to other people that didn't have a problem with this man, so I guess HE had a problem with us, for some unknown reason. So we just did what you have to do, get through it. After this meeting you have to wait a week to call and set a date for your wedding.
My husbands good friend, also incarcerated there, was to be our witness. The day of the wedding we find out that they will not call him down to the wedding unless there is another person there to visit him. Nice time to let us know about this rule. So we had to look around the visit room and luckily another friend was there with his wife and agreed to be our witness. The wedding was quick, just us, the witness and the justice, 75$ cash. We bought picture tickets later when they were available. The biggest dissappointment was not being able to have our friend there. They knew he was our witness for 3 weeks and no one told us he would have to have a seperate visit. So my advice is , if you plan on having another inmate as a witness, ask questions about how it is supposed to work and write down the name of who you talk to.

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  #11  
Old 06-04-2004, 04:45 PM
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Default Ontario County Jail

I got married in Ontario County Jail on May 10th 2003. It was quick, and I even had to say "what?" to the JP because I couldn't understand what I was supposed to repeat because he was talking way too fast. HA HA.

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  #12  
Old 06-04-2004, 04:48 PM
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Oh yeah, we also had to ask the CO for permission to hold hands during the ceremony, and gave him a questioning look before we kissed.
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  #13  
Old 06-07-2004, 08:00 PM
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Thumbs up Shawangunk Correctional Facility

I got married @ Shawangunk Correctional Facility on September 6th 2001. I didnt know what to expect and I was nervous But it was ok. It was very fast, I will admit that.

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  #14  
Old 06-28-2004, 07:46 PM
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Default Green Haven Corr. Facility

My Husband And I Got Married 2 Yrs Ago At Green Haven Corr. Facility. The Wedding Took Place In The Old Visitin' Rm And After The Ceremony Was Over We Continued Our Visit..


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Old 07-01-2004, 11:16 PM
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Default Woodbourne CF, woodbourne,NY

I just got married June 26th at Woodbourne CF, woodbourne,NY. We didn't have any counseling, the process was pretty quick you have to marry within 60days after the license is signed,we had a JP, no flowers or camera- they wouldn't even let us have a cake!! 4 guests were allowed,all i had to do was go in and sign and pay for the license(the town clerk there is also the senior counselor),the license cost $40,the JP $50. I was allowed to wear anything I wanted(I wore a white dress) he had to wear his state greens and a white shirt. they let me bring the ring in it had to cost $50 or less. I guess that about sums it up.

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  #16  
Old 07-23-2004, 12:54 PM
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Default Clinton CF

I got married at Clinton CF in 1993. We kind of had some premarital counseling, but it was done individually, not together. My husband is Muslim and I talked with the Muslim Chaplain several times prior to us getting married. During our conversations he continually stressed the "are you sure" issue. There were 2 witnesses, my girlfriend and his best friend (another inmate). I wore what I wanted to wear, as long as it conformed to the rules and reg's. I had to mail his wedding band to him prior to the ceremony. It was a 5-minute ceremony. It was short and sweet.
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Old 08-06-2004, 04:48 PM
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Default Oneida Correctional Facility

I got married in Oneida Correctional Facility 6/25/04, here are some answers to the original question:
1. Did you have any counsling.....yes, i talked to his councellor for about 10 min.

2. How long did the whole process take...you apply for the marriage lic. and councel the same day, all together it took about 20-30 min

3. Did you have to find your own minister...yes, non of the faclities clergy men would do it because we arent the same religon, so i had to call the justice of the peace to book an appointment

4. Were you allowed any flowers or disposable camera..you can order flowers, they gave me an approved vendor list for flowers and cake, but the vender has to deliver them INTO the facility themself....no cameras allowed, although they do give free photos out IF the inmate assigned to that job agrees to do it, he didnt want to leave his program the day of my wedding so we got no pics.

5. How many guests were allowed to be there,...2 witnesses (one for each of us, we used 2 inmates)

6. What was the process to get the marriage license...he had to write a letter to the super and so did i stating our intent to be married, then i spoke to his councellor to make an appointment for councelling and signing for the license.

7. What were the costs you had to pay...i think it was $30 for the license and $40 for the judge...it wasnt that long ago and i forgot already....sorry, its been a rough summer.

8. What were the two of you allowed to wear. same thing you wear for visits...nothing too revealing or questionable

9. Were you allowed to bring a wedding band in for him or did it have to be mailed and what was the value limit...i was allowed to bring inthe bands, after the ceremony we got to visit for about an hour or so, then he had to go to the package room to get a license for the ring, they asked for a reciept but i didnt have it...they let him keep it anyway, but bring one to be safe. they also tested it to make sure it was real gold, why??i dont know...is there a value limit?? i'm not sure...you would have to check with the facility.

hope that helps..OH and weddings are usually on fridays which is good because oneidas visiting hours are on weekends and holidays, so it was nice to get to see him for 2 days afterwards. if you do decide to have cake brought in you also have to supply the paper plates, forks, etc... we opted not to have them as my budget is tight enough as it is and we are going to re-new our vows once he comes home so that our friends and family can be there to celebrate. good luck and congrats to anyone getting married in the future and to those that have already "taken the plunge" it sure was worth it for me and i wouldnt change a thing.
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Old 08-12-2004, 07:25 AM
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Default Eastern max

i was married at eastern max this year. it was very nice. it was small, but we had the b side visiting room all to ourselfs for most of the day. the bad thig was the cake was very over priced!!!!!
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Old 08-24-2004, 07:52 AM
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Quote:
7) GET MARRIED!!! (during the week only)
ADD ON: This depends on the facility.... for instance, Elmira only performs weddings on Sunday's (unless you arrange to bring in your own pastor, in which case you can get married on any day..... they (Elmira) prefer to do it *their way* on Sunday's but this CAN be arranged if you persue it.)
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Old 08-26-2004, 09:37 PM
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Albion has a legal office that is staffed by inmates that know all the laws - when I was in Albion a friend had the same situation and I remember that they needed permission from both superintendants at each facility and they had to prove that they had children together...the best way to get that done is to use the Albion facility it is much better than any men's facility in the legal department. Tell his girl to drop a tab to the legal department and they will help both of them with the paperwork.

I will warn you this will take a loooong time to do - if she is short it might have to be done on the outside - but then she will need permission from parole
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Old 09-09-2004, 08:49 AM
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Default I want to get married

Hi everyone,
I want to get married to my guy. He is in ORleans and I know that every jail is different but I was wondering if you knew the process and what you have to do. Thanks, your answers will be of great help
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Old 09-09-2004, 09:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SashazZone
Hi everyone,
I want to get married to my guy. He is in ORleans and I know that every jail is different but I was wondering if you knew the process and what you have to do. Thanks, your answers will be of great help
Congrats

I just started the process myself last month. You and your guy have to write a letter to the Superintendent of Orleans. He will then get a response at which point you have to call the FRP Counselor to set up a date for an interview to review his sentence etc. (it took almost 4 weeks to get a response, I thought it would take longer). Once you have the interview, you choose a date, and find someone to marry you. the is the jist of it. The longest part is the wait for the interview, Auburn says it may take up to 6 months.

There is also a Marriage Forum that you can look into on this website.

Hope that helps
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Old 09-13-2004, 06:43 PM
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Default Lyon Mountain Correctional Facility

Hi I want to get married to my guy who is locked up in Lyon Mountain Correctional Facility, i was wondering if anybody who did get married behined prison walls, can you give me some advice and information?

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  #24  
Old 09-23-2004, 04:57 PM
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Question Thanks

Yes green this is where I will be getting married.only thing is I got the package and they are asking for $40 just to prosses the papers Im scared but I will be ok becauseI love him. Did you notice on the packet they tell you after you get married you can not put in for a tranfer to a facility that has trailer visits, If so what are you doing as far as that is concern and are you two puting in for a tranfer anyway or what? Thanks and congrat's

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Old 10-10-2004, 06:00 PM
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Question Debating Prison Marriage

Both my fiance and I were married before. He no longer has a copy of his divorce papers and I have to get divorced. What benefits are there to being married while someone is in prison? We plan on doing it when he gets out but I think he wants us to get married while he is in prison first. He was sentenced to 1-3 yrs. By the time I get all of the information and get my divorce, will it be worth the hassle to do it twice???? I love him with all my heart and I want to be his wife but is getting married while he is in prison the right thing to do??
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