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Old 05-19-2018, 07:27 PM
Mrs.Parker<3 Mrs.Parker<3 is offline
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Unhappy Intro--Mrs.Parker<3 from California

Hi everyone; I stumbled across this website while looking for information and support for myself. Ive never been in this situation or have known anyone who has been in a realtionship with an inmate so i feel like I have no one to talk to. hopefully through this ill find some peace of mind an some people who understand what im going through.
**** sooo first some background on me an my man <3 <3*******
we met in 2010 while we were both in college. it was love at first sight an when we were together i knew he was the one i wanted to spend my life with.. our relationship had its ups and downs and were on and off again until 2014 where we pretty much called it quits for good. in the year an a half following we would still see eachother around here and there and as soon as we locked eyes every time i knew that we would be together in the end; that he was the one. nothing ever came of our glances and unspoken words but in june 2016 my friend sent me an article that said my man had been arrested in los angeles for some pretty serious charges. i instantly found out how to write him an we have been in contact ever since!!! LaQuan really is the love of my life an it took for him to be where hes at and facing what he was facing to realize whats really important in life. we want to be together forever. i write letters, we talk on the phone and i visit as much as i can. (i live in the bay area which is about 6 hours away from his jail).we made plans to start this great life together when he is released. he recently finished trial and i was heartbroken for both of us to find out he lost. he hasnt officially been sentenced yet but he says he thinks hes looking at 50 years to life! he is 26 years old. before he started trial we were talking about getting married...now that trial is over he wants to hurry up and get married asap...
I need advice or some comforting words that things will be ok. I love this man more than anything. i cant imagine him not in my life. ive wanted to be his wife from the moment i saw him. i didnt want it to be like this but what other option do i have?
any feedback welcome!!!
im soo new to this
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Old 05-19-2018, 07:47 PM
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patchouli patchouli is offline
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Hi Chelsea I'm not going to tell you what I think you should do, but I will tell you that being the wife of a lifer or a long-term sentenced offender is difficult & not for everyone. California does have Family Visits if you're married.....getting them is a time-laden process and depends on his behavior. Should you conceive children during family visits, are you prepared to raise them without your husband there for financial / moral / emotional support?

You may want to take the time to read in the following forums and post any questions you have:

Loving a Lifer

Loving a Long-term Sentenced Offender


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Old 05-19-2018, 09:48 PM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is offline
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Welcome to Prison Talk. If he does receive such a long sentence, most of your lives will be spent writing letters and talking on the phone. Not everyone can do that, but if you can, go ahead and get married. If not, then don't.
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Old 05-20-2018, 01:02 PM
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maytayah maytayah is offline
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Hi there, you are facing a very big decision. I am guessing you are fairly young also and so facing 50 years to life is a very long time. You may never be reunited in the free world. No one can tell you what to do but as others have said are you prepared for a life of phone calls letters and visits. You may get family visits eventually depending on his crime and his custody level.
Its a hard life and its a lot to consider. Its a lonely life and if you want a family and a companion then this may not be for you. You have a lot to think about and i wish you well.
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." Nelson Mandela.

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Old 05-21-2018, 10:49 AM
WaitingWilkes WaitingWilkes is online now
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Originally Posted by Mrs.Parker<3 View Post
... he hasnt officially been sentenced yet but he says he thinks hes looking at 50 years to life! he is 26 years old. before he started trial we were talking about getting married...now that trial is over he wants to hurry up and get married asap...

I can't offer any advice but I can tell you he's probably in a hurry to get married so he an have conjugal visits with you.
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