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Loving a Long-term Sentenced Offender For those whose loved one is serving 10+ years.

View Poll Results: How has your man changed?
No noticeable change 8 3.81%
Definately matured 170 80.95%
Regressed 5 2.38%
Working on it 27 12.86%
Voters: 210. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 09-01-2007, 06:20 PM
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Sammy's Girl Sammy's Girl is offline
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Mark has changed and grown. He has been in almost 19 years. We dated before his incarceration and he was sweet and loving, but not responsible. We have gotten back together, and now he is everything positive I knew him to be before, plus some.

He is definately planning for his (and our) future!
CDCr kicked him out of the SHU, YAY!!!
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Old 10-03-2007, 07:46 AM
Seven28 Seven28 is offline

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We both changed!!! & all for the better.
Don't Play With Something YOU Should Cherish 4 Life

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Old 11-12-2007, 10:29 AM
ShortysGirl07 ShortysGirl07 is offline
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Mine's been in over 10 years...went in at 18. I only met him 11 months ago, but I can tell he has matured and wants to be a good man for me.
Shorty's Fiance
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Old 12-10-2007, 02:27 AM
Chadschicken2 Chadschicken2 is offline
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Chad has changed immensely, when a few guys in his pod broke out in county, he wouldnt go with them, before, he would have led the charge, he was a fighter, a dope fiend, thief and general hell raiser, none of his family would bond him out they knew he would run. Him and his family have since made nice. once we got close and he was later shipped from county, he has been on trustee status ever since going all the way down to about 14 points (he wouldnt take his stomach pill and was accused of hoarding them, that was 4 points, he told a teacher to quit rubbing on him and touching him, he got 5 more points, he got busted smoking pot and got 5 more points, he has gotten his GED, learned woodworking and leather craft, he has been working in the kitchen and wanting to take chef classes, he is making beautifully detailed clocks. I cant take credit for the change, but he says it is because of me....

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Old 12-24-2007, 07:19 AM
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Em77 Em77 is offline
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We have both grown together, some for the good and some not so. Hubby wants to be a better man for our family. He has done an amazing so far.

Time Flies it is the days that take forever, but you cant have my Hubby forever!

All I can do is make the most of what's left.
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Old 02-28-2008, 09:28 AM
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all men changes after they go inside, I grew up there and changed quite abit, it is normal, prison life is not a simple life, men talk and teach each other about many different things, just being on the inside, we learn so much from others, good and bad, most go through the same changes, adjusting to how to serve your time and survive the experience, some cry alot and feel sorry for themselves, I had a rough life so I accepted what ever came my way and survived.
Don't do anything in the dark that you can't handle during the day
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Old 05-15-2008, 02:39 PM
luvssks luvssks is offline

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I didn't know Damian when he went in, but he's told me what he was like. He was violent and he had a drinking problem. Over the years he's been in, he voluntarily sought therapy so he could better understand himself and begin to change. He has changed a great deal. He has a lot of insight and has much better control over his anger. And I asked him about the drinking, and he said that it won't even be an issue...he doesn't want to do anything that could cause him to go back down that path.
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Old 05-19-2008, 08:12 AM
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He changed, but I don't think all of it is down to being in there. When he hit his thirties he started looking at himself and how well he lived up to his own expectations. He made a lot of changes in his behavior and expectations, all to the good.

But I started to wake up and put my life in order when I hit 30 too, which is why I don't believe that prison is completely responsible for the man he is now.
There will be storms, child
There will be storms. . .
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Old 06-18-2008, 10:12 PM
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CHELpea CHELpea is offline
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prison really served to slow my guy down. i know that he's learned a lot about himself, and he puts a lot of things into perspective. like many of you guys have posted, in a very odd, crazy way, prison served to save his life, not to make it better though, cuz that change came within him and with the support of his loved ones. prison did however, serve to pull him out of that fast life, the very same one that he didn't want to be a part of, but he just didn't know how to break free from.

i too believe that this change in him would've happened eventually, prison or no prison. his big heart has has been there all this time, but he didn't realize it, because it was too full of anger. but love conquers all... keep passing it through.
~Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.~ John Lennon.

Last edited by CHELpea; 06-18-2008 at 10:14 PM..
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Old 07-06-2008, 08:45 AM
kathryn42 kathryn42 is offline
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my man went in at age 18 and now is 43 he has down a complete turn around and even tries to help me to talk to my teenage daughter is a very angry child....
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Old 07-13-2008, 10:29 PM
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He has changed b/c he was always the type to say well leave if you don't like what you have and now he misses me and the kids and says sorry every time we talk about the way he was Now he he lets me know how much he actually loves me now that he can't see us but on the weekends I guess what they say is right you don't know how much you need someone until they are gone
Always & Forever My Love!!

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Old 03-27-2016, 09:37 PM
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He has definitely matured. Though what his parents told him about me (that I had died in a car accident) certainly didn't help him want to get out. They told me the same about him so that I wouldn't wait around for him. I wish I had. But he started working on himself to become a better man six years ago when I found him again.
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Old 06-19-2017, 02:34 PM
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Default Good changes

My bae definitely has changed for the better. Baby steps is still big progress. He's wiser and matured in the past few years. Ive seen growth in him. I love my bae.

Last edited by MyLuv4o7; 06-19-2017 at 02:41 PM..
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Old 06-19-2017, 02:38 PM
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Default Good changes

Even though the lie that was put out on you and your man isn't good. That separation was for a reason and especially he is a better man now then before. Now a man I feel God put into your life at the right time.

Last edited by MyLuv4o7; 06-19-2017 at 02:44 PM..
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Old 04-08-2018, 06:40 AM
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His growth has actually become one of the sexiest things about him. He continues to amaze me every day
Be the POSITIVE to the Negative
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Old 04-11-2018, 12:18 PM
Chaddersgirl Chaddersgirl is offline
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He has changed dramatically! He's been in 17.5 years. Went in mid-late 20's. He has matured and really grown up in there. He will be out in the next month or two (waiting on a bed at the HWH to open up) and all he is focused on is working this summer and then going back to school in the fall for his BA. He says he has a lot of time to make up for in his retirement account. How many guys getting out think that way? I'm SO proud of him and I'm so much more motivated by seeing his determination and goals and I fully support him in that. I told him I would kick his butt if he lets anything (including me) get in the way of succeeding.
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Old 04-11-2018, 07:30 PM
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13 years, he turned from a gullible, restless boy into a very distrusting but ultimately wiser man. He also became some sort of an astro-energy-hippe-hipster-vegan-guru. His basic personality didn't change - that's okay because it was never necessary - but his views and how he approaches things. A lot of it is coping mechanisms, otherwise the hurt from his past would throw him into severe depression.
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Old 04-21-2019, 07:37 PM
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Default I can't answer the poll

I can't answer the poll because though I knew him before his incarceration (he's been serving for 18 years now), I have known him in his adult life for only 6 years (he's 39). In these six years, I can't say I've seen much growth. I won't say he has regressed, either. Here's what I see: he is not AS wild as he was in his 20s, BUT, he is quick to lay hand on anyone who crosses him wrong - this can be other inmates and staff. He is Muslim and speaks about his faith (he goes to meetings and things of the life), but I don't believe the faith has CHANGED him from the inside out. I believe the faith has given him something to do. However, is not held accountable and does not understand the need of a transformation from the inside out. It's like he thinks what he does (going to meetings, etc) are enough. He's got a lot of maturing to do.

So anyway, yeah. I can only hope for the best. He is supposed to be taking an anger class, and he said that by the time he comes up for parole, he should have all required classes taken. This is the first time in the six years we have been communicating that he has actually talked about doing something constructive to enhance his chances for parole. So that's a good thing. I believe people CAN change for the better. I believe it because I have witnessed God change me!

That's where we're at right now.
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Old 06-01-2019, 01:32 AM
Ohyesboo55 Ohyesboo55 is offline
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one thing he will learn is.. patience. he will appreciate the lil things in life we take for granted. life is too short and live and LOVE to the fullest . tomorrow is not promised to anyone .
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