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  #1  
Old 06-30-2017, 05:59 PM
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Default Unfortunately I am back...

Having my usual gut feeling, I made my inquiry on line that confirmed my son is once again incarcerated. I also have a missed call from him on my phone. At this time I have not spoken to him.

Once again his demon the all powerful drug has called his name. The solace he seeks to numb his pain, has betrayed him once again.

His health is suffering from the drug abuse. Seizures, heart issues, liver damage. Yet he responds to the powerful call of drugs.

I am numb. Regrettably, I am the Mom of an son who is incarcerated
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Old 06-30-2017, 06:04 PM
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I am so sorry you're going through this again Do you know what his charges are yet? If he has a bond, he'll want you to bail him out....please don't.
I'm at a loss for words, only because I've been where you are and I understand the pain
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Old 06-30-2017, 06:58 PM
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Originally Posted by DisneyFan View Post
Having my usual gut feeling, I made my inquiry on line that confirmed my son is once again incarcerated. I also have a missed call from him on my phone. At this time I have not spoken to him.

Once again his demon the all powerful drug has called his name. The solace he seeks to numb his pain, has betrayed him once again.

His health is suffering from the drug abuse. Seizures, heart issues, liver damage. Yet he responds to the powerful call of drugs.

I am numb. Regrettably, I am the Mom of an son who is incarcerated
I am so sorry for you being in this situation again. I know the feeling you get when you learn they are once again incarcerated. When we got the call about 10pm on our house phone I knew it was nothing good. Your stomach gets in knots & you want to throw up. Then your brain & everything just goes numb. There are no tears left & it's a hopeless, helpless feeling.

Please take care of yourself first of all. If you haven't joined one of the support groups for people whose loved ones are caught in the power of drugs, please try to find one that will fit for you. Come here & vent & get strength when you need it. We are all walking along as best we can & lean on others here when we need to.
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Old 06-30-2017, 09:02 PM
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Originally Posted by DisneyFan View Post
Having my usual gut feeling, I made my inquiry on line that confirmed my son is once again incarcerated. I also have a missed call from him on my phone. At this time I have not spoken to him.

Once again his demon the all powerful drug has called his name. The solace he seeks to numb his pain, has betrayed him once again.

His health is suffering from the drug abuse. Seizures, heart issues, liver damage. Yet he responds to the powerful call of drugs.

I am numb. Regrettably, I am the Mom of an son who is incarcerated
I am so sorry for your pain. It brought tears to my eyes so I can imagine what it is doing to you. I will keep you in my prayers. Please take care of you. God bless.

Last edited by matrock130; 06-30-2017 at 09:03 PM.. Reason: spelling
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Old 06-30-2017, 09:45 PM
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How miserable for you (and him, of course). A misery that far too many people have to share. I'm sorry that he's stolen your happiness, your serenity. Get them back! Go somewhere, or to someone, who can help you get your balance again. You just can't let the drugs take you too.
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Old 07-01-2017, 04:36 AM
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I am sorry to hear of your situation.Please make sure you get support for yourself.You cant change your sons behaviour but you can keep yourself well mentally and physically.
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Old 07-01-2017, 03:27 PM
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Awh Disneyfan I'm so sorry.
Sign, I know it's a living hell when our kids are on drugs.
When they are in jail or prison.
Try to have peace...he's alive and as long as he's alive there's HOPE!
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Old 07-02-2017, 01:03 AM
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I am so sorry to hear this Disney...my heart goes out to you and your son. I know words don't help much but I'm sending strength and love your way....hoping things will get easier soon
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Old 07-02-2017, 11:42 AM
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I'm so sorry.....
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Old 07-02-2017, 12:56 PM
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Tears here and hugs. Sad hugs. Your son is alive. Good that he is incarcerated and can straighten up. Clear his mind. No one is more disappointed in him than himself. Hurts to know he tried and wanted freedom but drugs called louder. Maybe this will be the time he says no more. Your heart must be aching. You're a good mom and he's a good son who loves you but has a problem.

He's going to figure it out. He needs rehab not jail.
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Old 07-02-2017, 05:41 PM
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So sorry to hear this news, DisneyFan. You've been hanging in there for a long time and I know you are frustrated and heartbroken. I know it's easier said than done, but please don't give up hope. There is always a chance that someday he will want to be clean and sober and change the direction of his life. It's all up to him but, in the meantime, take care of yourself and stay as strong as you have been. You've been a good mom.
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Old 07-05-2017, 08:22 AM
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So sorry that you are back, I too am on the ride once again, although my son's charges are not drug related, just stupid choices and a girl. Hang tough.
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Old 07-05-2017, 09:24 PM
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I'm sorry, I hope it all works. Sometimes it feels like a losing battle, so hang in there. Hugs!
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Old 07-30-2017, 09:33 AM
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I am in the same boat, my son was reincarcerated too, drugs again, I am so sorry, I know how you feel
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Old 07-30-2017, 09:38 AM
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Awful news. Drug addiction is a horrible illness. Hopefully your son can make some changes in his life to get clean.
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Old 07-30-2017, 09:58 AM
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When my husband first got arrested, my mother-in-law was broken. She couldn't sleep. She wasn't eating. She was a mess. One night she was able to find a place to rest long enough for a short dream. She said that God came to her in her dream saying, "Don't you know! I saved his life! He will be okay!" She says that that dream gave her the strength to start healing. It has been a very long time since all of this happened. While my husband has never suffered from strong drug addiction; instead, he was addicted to the feeling/power associated with the pull of money. He is doing well. Hopefully, changes will happen to the system so that he will be able to come home, prove to his mother he is okay, and help her the way a son should. We buried his father last year. He couldn't be there physically. That was a huge blow, but he was strong. I know that losing his mother in that same way will hurt him to his core. Prayers to you, your family, and to all who are suffering because of a loved one's choices!
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Old 08-04-2017, 12:59 PM
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When my husband first got arrested, my mother-in-law was broken. She couldn't sleep. She wasn't eating. She was a mess. One night she was able to find a place to rest long enough for a short dream. She said that God came to her in her dream saying, "Don't you know! I saved his life! He will be okay!" She says that that dream gave her the strength to start healing. It has been a very long time since all of this happened. While my husband has never suffered from strong drug addiction; instead, he was addicted to the feeling/power associated with the pull of money. He is doing well. Hopefully, changes will happen to the system so that he will be able to come home, prove to his mother he is okay, and help her the way a son should. We buried his father last year. He couldn't be there physically. That was a huge blow, but he was strong. I know that losing his mother in that same way will hurt him to his core. Prayers to you, your family, and to all who are suffering because of a loved one's choices!
Thank you for sharing the story about your Mother in law. That gives me hope I will heal. I feel broken too. On the other hand my son is alive. The pull of the drugs is awful. If he hadn't been picked up, it was just a matter of time before he overdosed. Since January alone he has been to the ER (that I know of) 3 times for seizure/black out from drugs.
He will be sentenced next week and is going to ask for in jail drug treatment.
Please keep us in your prayers, and I will do the same for you and your hubby.
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Old 08-10-2017, 03:27 PM
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I'm back as well but my son is just back in for STUPID. I do have a daughter who was/is an addict. She was able to finally stay clean now for 3 years but it is always a worry.

When they arrested her my first thought was "she's safe, alive!" They sentenced her and she only spent a short time in jail. Our system here in florida is probably a bit more lenient on convictions (short of murder...ugh). She was suppose to only be on probation for 2 years but managed to drag it out for 5 1/2 with continued lapses. Each time I thought she would go back to jail and each time they gave her some other source to keep her out.

I often had wished she would have been kept in jail mainly because I felt she was safer there........hell, we were safer with her there. .............but PRISON IS NO PLACE FOR AN ADDICT.

Somehow we need to find a way to keep these people out of the jail system and in rehabs. Honestly though, we all know it will be in their time that they quit. Nothing we can do can "fix" them.

My heart goes out to you. I would rather have STUPID any day,
than a loved one in jail for addiction.
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Old 08-14-2017, 09:15 AM
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I am numb. Regrettably, I am the Mom of an son who is incarcerated
Regrettably, we have children who are drug addicts. My son has 21 more months to his earliest release date. When he got to 2 years left, he finally started counting. I count too, but it is with a mixture of hope and fear. Since my son has been using since he was 12 and it was 12 years before he quit, I have no idea how long before that fear goes away, if it ever does. That was half his life, before he quit.

My actions apparently reflect my hope that he remains sober, but I continue to worry. Even it he manages to stay off them for the remainder of his sentence, then how will he deal with the real world without giving in to the addiction? That constant worry takes its toll on us as parents. I know that for many the "let go and let God" mantra works, but not for me. Hope, no matter how many times, is that spark that I hold within me to share with him. When using, he never haves it for himself.
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Old 08-14-2017, 12:21 PM
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Regrettably, we have children who are drug addicts. My son has 21 more months to his earliest release date. When he got to 2 years left, he finally started counting. I count too, but it is with a mixture of hope and fear. Since my son has been using since he was 12 and it was 12 years before he quit, I have no idea how long before that fear goes away, if it ever does. That was half his life, before he quit.

My actions apparently reflect my hope that he remains sober, but I continue to worry. Even it he manages to stay off them for the remainder of his sentence, then how will he deal with the real world without giving in to the addiction? That constant worry takes its toll on us as parents. I know that for many the "let go and let God" mantra works, but not for me. Hope, no matter how many times, is that spark that I hold within me to share with him. When using, he never haves it for himself.
===================================

lizlizze2
I've always wondered about kids that start to use very young in life...especially as their bodies and minds are still growing and developing. What long term effects do drugs have on these kids and their recovery compared to an adult addict who never used as a child or young teen.

This coming November it will be 4 years that we lost our youngest son to drugs. My heart aches every single day... All the what if's. It's easy for others to say don't go there with those thoughts but we mom's and dad's do...well at least I do. I have so many unanswered questions that will most likely never be answered in this lifetime. Especially when it comes to kids that use so young.
Our youngest was always the risk taker and so it seemed he was fearless at times, spontaneous and full of life. When he was 4 yrs. old he had a severe hand injury on an escalator at a local mall. He underwent two major surgeries immediately more as he became older.
When he reached kindergarten he was diagnoised with adhd, so we made the choice to put him on medication. He was very sensitive to the meds, so he was on a very low dose. On top of a low dose the doctor had us only give him his meds during the school week and not on weekends and breaks. (Mind you that was in the 90's hindsight is 20/20 and some of these meds are no longer available). We did explore other drug free options through out the years. As he started to get into his early teen years he was starting to premedicate and experiment.
I remember when Matthew was about 15-16 we were having a sit down with him and he told us that when he wasn't on something he didn't feel normal.
I know for many that sounds like a huge excuse.
It was not until he bought his first car after graduating high school and entering college did it become visiable that he had a drinking problem. He and his friend's were pulled over for underage drinking. Funny he had let someone else drive his car so he avoided getting a dui and got a citation for underage drinking. It was at that time when things would slowly start to spiral and progress over the years. We sent him out of state to 2 young adult programs, from there he was in and out of rehabs, he even went to jail a couple of times.
I have to believe there is much more to addiction....especially children and addiction.
Lizzie this is such a hard road to be on! Keep leaning on the Lord.
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