I'm not sure where I belong anymore.

[samanb1213]

Well God wasn't the one that took your son. We live in a fallen world. As we know our world is not perfect but heaven is. As people we make choices and have to face the consequences of our choices and others choices. Mary you need to find forgiveness. #1 forgive your son, #2 forgive others, #3 forgive yourself. We only get one body on this earth. Some of us will be here for a shorter time than others. It comes down to our choices and how we lived our life and sometimes this life on earth has unfortunate circumstances. Your enemy is the devil it is satan. Go to church Mary and forgive. You will have to talk out loud your forgiveness over and over a hundred or more times every time you get angry. Ultimately forgiveness frees yourself. It lets go of the anger and only after this can you find peace and be able to go on. Your son would want you to go on, to not hold anger and bitterness over this. Your son is truly happy in heaven where everything is perfect. When our time comes, we will all truly pick heaven over this place. Be happy for your son he is free now. He is also with you by your side watching over you. He will meet you at the gates when it is your turn to go. Till then, there are plenty of other hurting people in the world that you could truly honor your son by helping and volunteering perhaps with troubled youth or adopting a foster child. Who knows, but when you hurt is where God is. Look what happened to HIS son he feels your pain and knows it. His son was crucified on a cross. We all have to deal with death in our lives and a child is the hardest. For now you must live for honoring your son and who he was. Consider what he would want for you now. He would want you to go on and honor him by helping others. Prisons are always looking for volunteers and there are many pen pals needed. I know you hurt as any loving Mother would. But take that hurt and turn it into something positive and useful. That is your choice. You can choose to let that anger fester and burn you or you can choose LIFE - making something positive come out of your painful circumstance. Think of what would be some way for you to commemorate your son. This is how you can truly go on with your life and honor his life.

[cmsb]

Bee...Our children are one of the greatest blessings we ever have. They are a part of us. I don't know how anyone is able to ever accept the loss of their child. And this being your only child compounds that immeasurably.

Breathe my friend, vent, do what you need to do, but don't harm yourself within your grief. Your son loved you, you were his mother. Don't let him down, when you can pick youself up and make him proud.

And when you need to...reach out! We are here. We all get the loss of a loved one. Maybe not on the level that you are experiencing, but my friend, we all know and are willing to listen and encourage you however you can.