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  #26  
Old 08-25-2020, 08:43 AM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is offline
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Just saw that...I forget the name of that storm already but heard its supposed to be a hurricane. Joy. Just joy.
Hang on LT....
Landing looks to be TX now
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  #27  
Old 08-26-2020, 04:41 PM
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LAURA... :-)

My situation is getting a bit more relaxed here in Panama... I'm in lockdown for almost 6 months now, allowed to go out 3x per week for 2 hours and starting now I can go out at least all day of my designated days. They are still separating men and women but that'll change on September 14th. At the end of September malls and restaurant and stuff like that will open again and on October 14th the airport will open for international flights again. That'll be 7.5 months in complete or partial lockdown for me.
It has been extremely rough, I cannot lie.
I'm a tough person and I don't mind being alone - usually - but this really got to me. It's better now since I'm allowed to at least sit by the pool in the sun, not allowed in the water and/or gym yet. But being able to be outside and frying feels good.
Plus I have my terror tiger Jack. He's so cute and crazy and I'll have his balls cut off real soon because he's keeping weird hours...

I think this lockdown is also part of the reason why I stepped way back from my relationship. I just couldn't handle his selfishness, self-centeredness (is that how you spell it?) and his me me me me me me.... He wants to get transferred so bad to another facility and get Minimm II, I get all of that, I want that all for him and more but for 2 years already he totally forgot about me or almost... after I came from my "moving-high" I start feeling it more and more and then the (emotional) stress of the lockdown I just realized I can only handle one thing at a time.
Have not sent more money for the phone, have not heard from him in 3 weeks. It's fine. I thought I would miss him more but I don't. I took the picture of him and one of us off the fridge and the one in the bedroom is not there anymore. I do check his profile each day but I guess my heart is very guarded right now, not feeling much.
Weird how things sometimes work... I still want all the good stuff for him and I want him home - for his sake - but he abandoned me emotionally and I'm too old for this crap... This lockdown in this new country I have not even been in for more than 8 months took all the fight out of me... I need my energy for myself.
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  #28  
Old 08-27-2020, 05:58 AM
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Im sorry for the feelings of emotional abandonment. I hope he realizes what a putz he's been and how selfish.
You have been thru some major crap here. Moving from your country to a new one, then bam......being on lockdown. Glad that is easing up some.
and Oh boy, what a cute kitty. He's adorable!
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  #29  
Old 08-27-2020, 06:29 AM
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Im sorry for the feelings of emotional abandonment. I hope he realizes what a putz he's been and how selfish.
You have been thru some major crap here. Moving from your country to a new one, then bam......being on lockdown. Glad that is easing up some.
and Oh boy, what a cute kitty. He's adorable!
Thank you!
I just think he's so caught up in his plight to get home, badgering his Mom to do all kinds of things (she's got really good connections) and I just got "lost in translation". I think he was pretty shocked when I've told him on the phone (and in a letter) that I'm not sending anymore money and I'm tired of waiting for something that might or might not happen. I could've done this until I die, he would have probably never left me, I was a "given" but the feeling of being taken for granted is hurtful.
It was minimum input from him and expecting maximum output from me for the past 2 years. I'm just tired. Not even disappointed. Sad & tired.
So Jack the Ripper (cat) is a gift send from heaven somehow...
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  #30  
Old 08-27-2020, 09:22 AM
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(((((((((((((Mizzy)))))))))))))))
I understand.
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  #31  
Old 08-27-2020, 10:02 AM
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Mizzy you are a strong lady and you have so much going for you. His loss definitely his loss. I think sometimes they get self obsessed and forget we have needs to.

Your cat is very cute
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  #32  
Old 11-12-2020, 09:59 AM
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And the insanity continues.......with the election over with (supposedly) and the bru ha ha over who won, well......its still depressing to me.

And now with the covid virus ramping up again, people still arguing over how effective masks are and calling for things to reopen again.....
Im pretty conflicted. Just read an article about military recruits and how they isolated, wore masks, distanced themselves. Were tested prior to beginning, in the middle of the 2 week isolation and then again at the end. An additional 2 week period of isolation and it still didnt make much of a difference. This was prior to any actual boot camp training.
Most of the guys (most were men) didnt have any symptoms before testing positive. No fevers. Some who did test positive NEVER had any symptoms.
Crazy.
Dont know the answer but Im sure tired of living rather like a mushroom. lol.
in the dark and covered in poop.
come on vaccine makers. (I know, they are trying)
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  #33  
Old 11-12-2020, 11:30 AM
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Well, I'm happy Biden got elected, I'm happy for the entire world, NATO and for the sanity of all people. Trump is a moron, dangerous, criminal and stupid as fuck... but that's just my personal opinion looking in from afar...

And speaking of "afar"... moving back to Germany at the end of February 2021 as it looks today. I've had it with Panama and my US visa is more difficult than expected. So I'm better of in the German system as in health-/social-/ and retirement insurance/protection. I'm in talks with my boss. She'll take care of me, she feels guilty as fuck that she couldn't deliver.

My guy hasn't called me since the day I've told him I'm not sending any more money. Huge disappointment but I feel relieved. I feel lighter. I was finally able to use that energy for myself and I will - again - start new even though it sucks big time. But at least it's at home.
But I have to put myself first and think about my future.

There's currently a new lockdown in Germany so I'm sitting this one out plus waiting until my lease is up here in Panama in February plus I have to get my cat ready for "immigration" into the EU, that takes 3 months and a ton of money.

I hope you're all well! Safe & healthy and wear your masks!! Peace!
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  #34  
Old 11-12-2020, 01:26 PM
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It sounds like you will be much happier in Germany than you are in Panama, especially now that you are rid of your guy after finding out he was mostly interested in your money.
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  #35  
Old 11-12-2020, 01:43 PM
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It sounds like you will be much happier in Germany than you are in Panama, especially now that you are rid of your guy after finding out he was mostly interested in your money.
Thank you!
I don't even think it was the money, it was the fact that I "dumped" him. It's loyalty. But he never got that he's an entitled ass only looking out for himself and he's a narcissist and that's a form of punishment for me. He still had enough funds on his account to at least call me for my birthday but he opted out.
It's not the money, it's his ego.
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  #36  
Old 11-12-2020, 05:25 PM
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I'm afraid people aren't going to take this second wave of the coronavirus seriously and it's going to be a long December to April. We're already short staffed at the hospital where I work and many days we don't have any beds, much less the critical care staff and beds needed to fight this virus.

I have gone back to spending hours just watching nature videos and listening to music because it keeps me in balance.

Yes we want 2020 to end, but this year was only the beginning, sadly.
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Old 11-12-2020, 08:34 PM
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I’m excited for you to move back Mizzy, and disappointed your guy let you down.

Things are so weird here with the huge mask debate. I’m tired of all the politics.
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  #38  
Old 11-17-2020, 07:58 AM
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Im tired of all the policits too. I wish the current president would start acting like one in his last 70some odd days and just do what every other president has done in the past when they lose an election.
Do what is right for the nation, and have a smooth transition, rather than play games. Is pretty frustrating to see this continue. Even if you are a Trump supporter and believe there was fraud, he does not have the votes. He lost. Every state that he's been filing lawsuits in, have said he does not have the votes to over take Biden's lead. And why is it only THOSE votes that are fraudulent? I dont get it.
Its just making this even harder for our country to unite, and get thru this pandemic.
Its been a long enough year already.
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  #39  
Old 11-17-2020, 05:34 PM
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I've seen the line at food banks and I'm ever more thankful for what we have. I cannot imagine not knowing how much more it will take to make sure your family is fed for the week.

I cannot stand politicians who play games with our livelihoods. The "we pay taxes" crowd has become "you shouldn't received entitlements" and I just want to mush them in the face!
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