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  #1  
Old 11-18-2004, 06:25 PM
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jessesgirl4ever jessesgirl4ever is offline
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Default Where On Earth Did He Get That From???

I JUST RECEIVED 3 LETTERS FROM MY HUSBAND IN WHICH HE TEELS ME HOW MUCH HE HAS BEEN CRYING CAUSEON ONE OF MY LETTERS, I SUPPOSEDLY TOLD HIM I WAS GETTING TIRED OF WAITING FOR HIM AND I WAS TALKING TO/ SEEING SOMEONE ELSE!!!!! I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT!!! WHEN I WROTE TO HIM, I TOLD HIM THAT I WAS UPSET BECAUSE I WAS NOT RECEIVING HIS LETTERS AND THAT I HAD SEEN ON THE PTO FORUM THAT SOME GIRLS WOULD DISCOVER THAT THEIR PARTNERS HAD PENPALS, BUT I NEVER , EVER TOLD HIM THAT I WAS SEEING SOMEONE ELSE!! AND HE HAS BEEN EXPECTING A VISIT SINCE OCTOBER 30, WHEN I VERY WELL TOLD HIM I WOULD BE AT A CHURCH RETREAT THAT WEEKEND! SO HE THINKS THAT I DIDN'T GO CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE HIM TO MAKE THINGS WORSE, I WAS NOT ABLE TO SEE HIM THE FOLLOWING WEEKEND CAUSE I WAS LOW ON CASH!! I WILL SEE HIM THIS WEEKEND, BUT I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT STATE HE IS IN!!!hE KEPT WRITING IN HIS LETTERS " IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ME HERE, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU" AAGGHH!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM!! HE BETTER NOT HARM HIMSELF!! GUYS, I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, I AM FREAKING OUT HERE!!!
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  #2  
Old 11-18-2004, 06:30 PM
marcsbaby marcsbaby is offline
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Girl calm down...much easier said than done...I got one of those I feel like you are giving up on me letters this week. It got me all messed up. Then the next one I got I was afraid he was losing his mind....but today his letter was good and he was feeling better.....these days just happen....honey try not to worry too much, sometimes they take our words and twist them to fit their moods...we just gotta be there to set 'em straight....hang in there girl I am sure he will be feeling better in no time!
~Katie
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Old 11-18-2004, 06:33 PM
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Thanks katie.. man, it feels good to vent and the to have you sweet girls respond so nicely! It was 3 letters in all and in the 3rd one he sounds a little more positive. I hop he has received more of my letters since then!
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Old 11-18-2004, 07:45 PM
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Calm down, you wrote something, he read something else. You'll visit and come back and tell us it's all good, trust me.

Be safe,
Patty
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Old 11-18-2004, 07:52 PM
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Sweetie, the same thing happened to herb and I. I wrote something and he read it another way. You will get it straightened out. Dont worry. Esp. after he gets all your other letters he will be okay. Love Ya Jeanne
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Old 11-18-2004, 07:52 PM
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Gurl don't worry about it ,everything will be all right. I promise ya! He proboly took it a different way and plus sometimes they I think imagine things like we are getting fed up with them and all. Plus, the guys in there they don't help either they like to fill our mens heads with bullcrap bout us cheating or having doubts..Like Patty said go and visit and everything will be back to normal. Good luck Sweetie & Hang in there!
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Old 11-18-2004, 07:55 PM
marcsbaby marcsbaby is offline
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jessesgirl....anytime you need to vent just let it all out!!!!
Thats what PTO is for!
I am sure everything will be just fine.....things always seem to work themselves out!
~Katie
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Old 11-18-2004, 09:30 PM
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Is he even getting your letters? That's what I would wonder. You will see him and explain everything and my this time on Sunday you will be happy again.
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Old 11-19-2004, 05:19 AM
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Its that time of year...the DREADED HOLIDAY SEASON is upon us...depression is rampant, and i think it has to be so much worse on the inside...we all need to have a lot of patience, with ourselves and our beloved inmates. It is a scientific statistic that people get more nuts, more depressed than any other time of the year...offer your loved one support and sympathy...don't question them when they have doubts or even hallucinations...just make sure they know you are loving and needing them more than ever...
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Old 11-19-2004, 07:41 AM
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Just tell him to re read the letter, If he dosen't have just be up front and remind him of what you said, Priosn can make them make thier own stories in thier head..Looks like he just needs some reasurance..God Bless..And HUGS
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Old 11-19-2004, 08:50 PM
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Well at least you can visit this weekend and get everything all straightenend out. Be sure to let us know how it goes!
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Old 11-19-2004, 11:49 PM
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I agree with everyone here. Go visit him and it will be all good. He will see with his own two eyes and know in his heart that you're 100-plus HIS. My guy used to go through the same thing, especially when I knew that he heard the guys talking smack about women on the outside only wanting ONE THING and will fool around on the side. YEAH, RIGHT!!!

Have a great visit!
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Old 12-03-2004, 11:25 PM
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Just kinda pulling this one back up to see how you are holding up. When I read that, it kinda reminded me of how easy it is for inmates to lose focus of what is really going on. I have been there more than once.

Sometimes we as inmates forget that time does NOT STOP while our loved ones are outside the walls. Sometimes inmates make a mental snapshot of what they last remembered. This kinda hurts in two ways if the inmate isn't careful. First, he may forget that you have to still pay bills, and as much as you might want to see him, sometimes the money may not be there. Second, the saying, "the idle mind is the devil's playground" is quite real. In a funny way, inmates start assuming some weird things when they don't know what is going on. I am not kidding, I have seen it and I have done it. A guy does not get a visit from his loved one and immediately thinks they dumped him, when the fact might be that the car broke down. I thought my family didn't want to see me anymore or didn't love me once when I didn't get some money for a long time. It wasn't that they did not love me, it was two facts. One, my family had bills to take care of, and two, I NEVER ASKED FOR ANY MONEY! DUH! But when you are in prison and stress builds, your mind starts playing tricks on you. This gets even worse if you partner up with an inmate that is feeding you bad advice.
The best way to settle these problems is be very rational with him. Maybe too rational. Make sure you explain to him details. In the same way I took canteen in prison as a normal routine, you may have to explain that the reason you could not make the visit is because (for example) you needed to pay the phone bill so you can continue to talk with him, and you had to spend some extra money on things you had to have, which threw your budget off. You may have to be specific, but you don't need to itemize every purchase for his benefit. Being vague may only feed his imagination, which is the last thing you want. Be patient, he should be able to understand your position if you are clear to him.
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Old 12-08-2004, 12:48 AM
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Great insight Mason. You hit it on head. I saw lots of guys who really imagined the worse when they didn't get mail. Then they got several letters on the same day. And it doesn't help when some of the other guys mess with your head...or the guards for that matter. Anyway, JESSESGIRL just go and talk with him at visitation. It'll get better.

CJ
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