This one is a must-read

[Rox73]

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...588586-2307864

I just read it and it's by far, the best book on the subject I've ever read.

Have a great day everyone

[busman]

I'd like to know why it's always about changing the man. He may be the one cought and in prison but I know plenty of women who have anger and control issues as well. I feel so out numbered here at times. There's just so much estrogen to combat at times. I feel fatigued.
I am a little weary of double standards of men vs. women. Have a woman flash a breast in a football game and most react that it's no big deal. Let a man do that and He's facing hard time. I don't get it.
Bren and I worked on our own person seperately and then corporately. She wasn't out to change me. She wanted me to change, but in doing so she studied herself and let me do the same. I studied who and whome I wanted to be and persued that man with passion and zeal. I have become him today. It's ok to read but there seems to be a great ploy against the man here at times.

[Rox73]

I hear you on what you're saying, that women can be just as angry and controlling as men. But you gotta admit that it's common sense that an angry, manipulative/controlling woman very rarely intimidates a man to the point that his self-esteem is entirely broken along with his bones?? Which is the core of the problem. That's how you define domestic violence, whether it is psycological or physical.... the goal is to break the person down so you can completely control him or her. I know plenty of men who have controlling/manipulative wives but I rarely see them scared. I see them very tired, yes and very often bitter (understandably). But I don't see them shaking in fear of their wives. In other words, they share many of the feelings abused women feel but not the most important one - the fear. I really feel for people (men too) who have controlling partners. No one deserves that. Each and every one of us deserves to have our own identity respected.

I'm a firm believer in letting people be who they are. I would never expect anyone to change for me. If there's something I find unacceptable (nr. 1 being abusiveness) I don't hang around for long.

One other thing; studies have shown that there is always only one of the partners who is abusive in an abusive relationship. There's only space for one. So if you're referring to a couple who abuse each other.... I think you must be mistaken. Sure, there are a lot of couples who bring out the worst in each other. But does that mean that they're abusing each other? If the intimidation/fear isn't there I wouldn't call it abuse.
Why would non-abusive men take something like this issue as an assault on their "male-ness" is what I want to know?

[Isadora]

Rox thanks so much for sharing this; I just ordered a copy of the book!