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bobbysbaby · #1 04-27-2005, 11:05 AM

Hi all, I usually post in the hb/bf forum or the fed forum. But I thought this is more appropriate. My hb of 3 yrs has spent all but the first 4 months of our marriage in prison for pulling a gun on me. He was on drugs and has admitted it and is in Leavenworth USP until July, 2006. To make a long story short, he has done terrible things to me, lied about everything while he was home. In Jan. we signed divorce papers and I didn't have the money to file them, had a one night stand (which was awful) and then we decided to try and work things out. I told him about the one night stand and he hasn't let me forget about it. I was supposed to go visit this past weekend, the first time I would have gotten to see him in months. But he called 2 days before I was to leave and we got into an argument, he brought up the cheating and said it was the worse thing I could have done and I agreed, but I reminded him we were going to let the past be past and he said he didn't have to that he has never done anything to me like that.

I'm like, are you kidding? You were going to shoot me because you were so high you thought I was someone else!!!!!

Anyway he hung up after he called me a bi*** and a tramp, then called me the next morning and I told him we weren't coming, he said he didn't want me to anyway and that I needed to file the divorce papers.

I am heartbroken, he's never called me names, but I know once they start they don't stop. I know a divorce is right, but I am miserable. I can't imagine being without him, it took me 32 yrs to find him.

lunachild · #2 04-27-2005, 01:41 PM

Lord honey, now that is a story. I can't imagine how your feeling. But, you know what you have to do. I thought I had found the one after 43 years and he cut me so bad that I'll hurt for years. He called me names and took off with another woman. He lied to me and used me. I am trying to get over it but it's hard. Calling you names is abuse. Holding the affair over you is controlling you. I have a friend going through this too. My ex did it to me. My advice, cut ties and fly. It hurts like hell for a while, but you know what, it does get better. You are stronger than you think. Start imagining your life without him. I found a whole lot of things I like a whole hell of a lot better than having to deal with some immature a**holes bulls**t. Every woman deserves more and if she ain't gettin' it, keep going until you do. You might even like being on your own. I know I do. Hang in there girl, we're here to talk if you need us.

Hugs

Dixie_sweetie · #3 04-27-2005, 03:44 PM

I am sorry to hear he done all that you and then hang the one night stand over you all the time. Like he didn't do anything to you. Seems to me like he has some issues to work out. But you need to just keep your head up and do what you think is best, and only you know what the best for you is. And as lunachild said him calling you names is abusive as well, just be careful and think of yourself. We all think we can't live without the one we love, but if it is better for you to leave than you need to and look out for yourself. I wish you the best.
HUGS
Brandi

seansgram · #4 04-27-2005, 04:44 PM

Only you know what you have to do, but for your own sake, I think you are doing the right thing in getting a divorce. Good luck, hon

California Sunshine · #5 04-27-2005, 04:51 PM

I'm sorry to hear this I know it hurts even though the relationship had some problems. Hang in there we are all in one way or another in the same boat with loosing our loved ones due to a break up
HUGS

AmyLynn · #6 04-27-2005, 05:01 PM

hang in there, and as soon as you can file those papers. It will be hard at first but in time it will get easier. Come here are vent to us, some of us are happy to be free of the men that were so mean and not caring to us and there are some who are real upset. We all can understand in some ways.