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rays_babygirl · #1 05-14-2005, 09:40 PM

I was watching Good Morning America a couple weeks ago and they were talking to 2 women who were featured in this special called "Love Behind Bars." It was a show talking to women who have fallen in love with men in prison and their experiences. One woman fell in love with a serial killer while he was in prison and she said that he manipulated her into attempting to kill for him. Like a dummy she tried to kill a woman for him. She ended up serving time for it. She said the reason women fall in love with a man in prison is because they are attracted to that violent type of behavior or the woman has been abused at one point in there lives and don't know how to get away from that life. I didn't agree with anything she said. The other woman they interviewed said that she fell in love with her man and she has been with him for years. They asked her what made her fall in love with him and she said that it was because he was open and honest with her and he is there for her emotionally. Then she was asked how she deals with not having a physical relationship and she said that she spends 5 hours a week with him at visits and that is all she needs for now until he comes home. She said those 5 hours is more time than most women spend with their men who are not in prison. I get so tired of seeing the media portray inmates as being these violent uncontrollable animals that should be locked up forever. They think that they don't deserve to have someone love them and be there for them. I don't see Ray as being a violent animal. He is a man. A man that I love with my all. Yeah he committed a crime and is dealing with the consequences of the crime but there are people on the outside that have done things worse than him and are still roaming the streets. Sorry that this is so long but I just wanted to express the way I felt about how the media makes our men look. How do you all feel about the way the media portrays inmates?

Wingy · #2 05-15-2005, 04:34 AM

Its all about getting the ratings...and has nothing to do with the reality of our relationships...its freaking sad because those media portrayals are what people take as truth, since they have no other information to compare...GAWD knows the effects it has on the laws, etc.

rays_babygirl · #3 05-15-2005, 10:16 AM

I totally agree with you on that. People who don't know anything about this type of relationship take it as truth and then make assumptions.

tweetwashington · #4 05-15-2005, 10:23 AM

I totally agree. I think that the only difference in a lot of men on the outside, is that they just haven't got caught for their crime.

I think if the media shed a different light on men in prison and people tried to understand what inmates go through instead of just having the lock away and throw the key mantality, we wouldn't have so many of our young man go back to prison.

quinn · #5 05-15-2005, 10:23 AM

Most people don't want to hear that some inmates are regular people that just screwed up...may hit too close to home, they would rather see them as sick, violent men and the demented women who love them. Makes for a better story and ratings. Remember if we humanize inmates then the criminal justice system may have to change some of their ways and be accountable for the things that happen inside and be RESPONSIBLE for the system they created. I hate to tell them, we are just like anyone else. You can't pick us out on the street or in the stores. We don't all look like they make us look like on tv.

rays_babygirl · #6 05-15-2005, 10:29 AM

AMEN Quinn! You said it! No one can pick us out just by looking at a picture or by passing us by on the street. We are regular people and our men are too. The justice system needs to be held accountable for what goes on inside those walls. They will be exposed one day.

bella · #7 05-16-2005, 08:14 AM

moving this post to the here to hear you forum

**LeBeau** · #8 05-16-2005, 08:30 AM

Well, it does not make for a "grabby" promo to advertise that "Tonight we'll be talking to three inmates and their partners about the day to day realities of life, phone bills and love letters and how their children get rambunctious in the visiting room" or to have a woman tell the camera about how her last letter detailed the exciting day she had when the dishwasher sprang a leak and flooded the kitchen... That's just not the stuff ratings are made of.... it gets better numbers if they sift the system for the most outrageous or pitiful or sordid story.

chintath · #9 05-16-2005, 08:37 AM

Maybe be can get our own haswitch to write some positive, success stories. I used to be one of those people who thought inmates were evil, manipulative men, lower than dirt. When my son was young, he got into trouble and the diversion counselor ordered them and their parents to visit a supermax. I was so angry at being made to attend; my husband said I embarassed him because I was so cold to those guys who were trying their best to be nice to me and present the kids with a lifechanging program. I must say, once it sunk in later--these guys were mostly lifers and cared about these young kids staying out of prison-- I became much more compassionate toward those inmates. The only time the media focuses on inmates or exoffenders is when a tragedy happens--like a father stabbs his child in the eyes and the public is ready to throw away the key again. Unfortunately, we rarely hear about a success story or a half-way house or prison program that works. With so much of the American population in prison or on probabation, I am sure lots of people would be interested in what it's like. Look at the success of the OZ (that is hard for me to watch) show.

dvsgirl19 · #10 05-16-2005, 09:35 AM

yea i was watching some show, i forgot, i think it was unsolved mysteries, and they were talking about this lady that fell in love with an inmate and now they committed some crime and are both on the run. well this psychologist or quack whatever you wanna call her, she said that women who fall in love with inmates are lonely, and they've never had attention like that before, and that they men are just using them. i was so mad because its not even like that. there may be a rare few, but they put us out there to be lonely losers! i know we're all hotties! lol i am lonely but thats just because im with out him duh! and i've had a lot of male attention, but i turn them around and tell them i've got a man! but seriously, there are very few of us who are like that. and how dare they say our men are using us? it just makes me sooooo mad!