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Kitty872 · #**101** 06-18-2005, 08:18 PM

Ahhhh...but see....

without this challenge in our lives do you think we would really

appriciate that CONNECTION?

I wonder about that sometimes. I know that I appriciate my husband so much more now. I remember all the wonderful things that he used to do for me. all the little things. that didn't mean as much at the time as they do now.

I know this isn't what we had planned for us ladies,

I mean who would want this you know? But I think so are so right Dalesforever...

we have the rest of our lives to spend together..and appriciating them forever!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dale'sforever

I totally agree with you Kitty872. I can't imagine ever waiting for anyone else but Dale. We have had that "connection" from the day we met and even though this isn't how I envisioned our life together, we have a love strong enough to get us through all this. And after he gets home, we'll have the rest of our lives to spend together. I can't wait!! I love my Dale so much!

Kitty872 · #**102** 06-18-2005, 08:22 PM

I feel the same.

Without this happening my hubby wouldn't have learned

his lesson.

I believe in him 100% now.

2 days before my husband got busted we had a talk. He agreed to give up

selling the stuff he was selling.

He said he was getting rid of what he had and that would be it....I wouldn't marry him otherwise. At that time I really still didn't believe him 100%...it would have been so easy for him to do this behind my back...LONG story short, We wouldn't be in same frame of mind/mindset that we are now if this didn't happen. We are SO close now.

Should we start a "our man has learned his lesson" club too? lol

Too bad they can't get out early just by taking our words for it eh?

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoesMamiChula

Yeah, the connection is very important. I've never been the patient type and when Joe first got in trouble.. he asked me if I would wait for him. It took me less than a second to come up with an answer from the heart... YES OF COURSE! No matter how long... I'll wait. He felt bad about me being out here waiting so long... so he basically dumped me. He later found out that I was better off waiting for him, and so was he having me there waiting for him. Everything happens for a reason. I believe that whole heartedly. The bond between us has grown so much more since he's been inside, than most couples experience in 50 years. Plus, he learned his lesson already, and I know he has... about making stupid decisions! So at least when he gets out, I have confidence in him that he won't go and do something foolish that would cause him to get killed. 8 years is nothing compared to forever.

Dale'sforever · #**103** 06-18-2005, 08:26 PM

Kitty872, you're right. I think the situation we are in makes us appreciate our husband's/boyfriends and the love we are blessed with so much more! My husband and I were in love before he went in, but our love has grown so much more and we've gotten so much closer since he's been in prison. Part of it is probably the fact that we've both grown up, but I tell ya, we have alot closer and stronger relationship than most of my friends who have "normal relationships" out here! When we are in this situation, we have to communicate to keep our relationship strong because we don't have the luxury of having our guys out here to talk to whenever we feel like it. Alot of couples out here take each other for granted and let their relationships fall apart, but with our relationships we cherish every second we get together and that's what keeps us close and our relationships strong.

kalobsgirl · #**104** 06-18-2005, 08:30 PM

I often tell my husband that this all happened for a reason because if he would have continued on the street like he was I don't believe he would still be alive and that scared me more than the 6 and a half years did. He has changed so much and no one will ever understand unless they know what we know down deep inside!!

Kitty872 · #**105** 06-18-2005, 08:30 PM

Well said my friend!

*hugs*

"normal relationships" what's that?? lol. I am telling you...There are not too many people out there that know about my hubby yet. I dread the question that they ask...OMG, are you going to wait for him?? OMG, I would SO not wait, OMG, OMG, OMG....

*scream*

looking down at me and my man while thier relationship is soooo not even half of what ours is. Thank goodness for you ladies here!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dale'sforever

Kitty872, you're right. I think the situation we are in makes us appreciate our husband's/boyfriends and the love we are blessed with so much more! My husband and I were in love before he went in, but our love has grown so much more and we've gotten so much closer since he's been in prison. Part of it is probably the fact that we've both grown up, but I tell ya, we have alot closer and stronger relationship than most of my friends who have "normal relationships" out here! When we are in this situation, we have to communicate to keep our relationship strong because we don't have the luxury of having our guys out here to talk to whenever we feel like it. Alot of couples out here take each other for granted and let their relationships fall apart, but with our relationships we cherish every second we get together and that's what keeps us close and our relationships strong.

JoesMamiChula · #**106** 06-18-2005, 08:31 PM

Haha ... I wish... I'd do about anything I could to help him come home early... just doesn't seem likely right now. It's just really good to know that when he comes back... we won't have to go through this again. This has been a wake up call for both of us. I cherish every letter, ever second I get to see him... and he does too. He misses the kids so much. When I go, they only allow two children at a time for visits... so either I leave them all home, or he only gets to see two of them. It's been really hard on him. I've taken pictures of EVERYTHING for him. He's missed so much... he wasn't even here for the birth of our 3 year old. He got to see it but only in pictures. We really appreciate each other more.. and I think our connection is more solid and unbreakable than it ever was before... and that's saying a lot. You're right... there's that one person out there for everyone. We're it for each other. It took this happening to really show us both that. It's funny all the things you take for granted when they're home, isn't it?

kalobsgirl · #**107** 06-18-2005, 08:32 PM

That is so true I feel the same way Dalesforever!!!!

Dale'sforever · #**108** 06-18-2005, 08:33 PM

Suzee, just wanted to check on ya cuz I haven't seen you post in a couple of days. I know it's the middle of the night in Britain so you're probably not online, but I'm curious if you got your call this weekend? I hope so!

kalobsgirl · #**109** 06-18-2005, 08:36 PM

Don't you just hate that question I mean why do they even ask like we would not wait it is such a dumb question. It never crossed my mind.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitty872

Well said my friend!

*hugs*

"normal relationships" what's that?? lol. I am telling you...There are not too many people out there that know about my hubby yet. I dread the question that they ask...OMG, are you going to wait for him?? OMG, I would SO not wait, OMG, OMG, OMG....

*scream*

looking down at me and my man while thier relationship is soooo not even half of what ours is. Thank goodness for you ladies here!

Dale'sforever · #**110** 06-18-2005, 08:41 PM

I agree Kalobsgirl, I don't know why people have to be so nosey and try to make us feel bad for waiting for our loved ones! I got that ALOT when my husband first went in because he had so much time and even though we're on the "downhill slide" (as he says

) now and he's almost done, I still have people says sometimes "dang, 4 years!! That's a long time to wait! I'm like 'give me a break! I've already been waiting all this time, I'm not about to leave him now!" I know ppl are curious but it gets annoying that everyone wants to ask "How long is he in for?" , "What did he do?", and "You're gonna wait THAT LONG??"

Kitty872 · #**111** 06-18-2005, 08:41 PM

Kalobsgirl...you are so right...

sure they got busted but what would have happened to them if it wasn't stopped then?

That is why this place is such a blessing. Only WE know how we feel. Only WE who have been though it can really get what we are saying...

Quote:

Originally Posted by kalobsgirl

I often tell my husband that this all happened for a reason because if he would have continued on the street like he was I don't believe he would still be alive and that scared me more than the 6 and a half years did. He has changed so much and no one will ever understand unless they know what we know down deep inside!!

JoesMamiChula · #**112** 06-18-2005, 08:44 PM

Alot of people have said that I was crazy and/or stupid for waiting. Those are just those unhappy selfish people who only think of themselves. I know people who divorced their husbands when they went to prison. Obviously they didn't take "til death do us part" literally. I hate talking to people I know about all this. They're always saying things like "You'll save yourself a lot of heartache if you just end everything now.". I don't see how they figure that, I'd be miserable without him, and I'd break his heart. I couldn't live knowing I had my perfect soulmate, and just gave up on him. Some people just are cold, uncaring, or really haven't experienced this kind of true love.

Kitty872 · #**113** 06-18-2005, 08:46 PM

you know,after i had my son I tied my tubes...i just KNEW I wasn't going to stay married to this man (first husband).

I kept thinking that I didn't want to have kids from a different father. That is would be too much of a hassle...too much explaining to do for other people, etc.

What I wouldn't do to be able to have a child with this man now....when he gets out that is. We have talked INVITRO but we shall see...

I can just imagine how much he misses the kids. It's so rough. My husband tears up each time too...He tries so hard not to cry in front of the kids. But i tell him baby, if they have to flow, then let them. Let your feelings show. Let the kids know how much you care.

It's not weakness. It's Love.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoesMamiChula

Haha ... I wish... I'd do about anything I could to help him come home early... just doesn't seem likely right now. It's just really good to know that when he comes back... we won't have to go through this again. This has been a wake up call for both of us. I cherish every letter, ever second I get to see him... and he does too. He misses the kids so much. When I go, they only allow two children at a time for visits... so either I leave them all home, or he only gets to see two of them. It's been really hard on him. I've taken pictures of EVERYTHING for him. He's missed so much... he wasn't even here for the birth of our 3 year old. He got to see it but only in pictures. We really appreciate each other more.. and I think our connection is more solid and unbreakable than it ever was before... and that's saying a lot. You're right... there's that one person out there for everyone. We're it for each other. It took this happening to really show us both that. It's funny all the things you take for granted when they're home, isn't it?

kalobsgirl · #**114** 06-18-2005, 08:54 PM

You know Kitty my son is 20 months old and only see his father twice a month(thats all I'm allowed to visit where he is) but that boy knows who his dad is as soon as he walks out. That is something I will never give up on and I know it hurts my husband so much to watch him grow up through pictures but thats what video cameras are for!

Kitty872 · #**115** 06-18-2005, 08:56 PM

You know, I am embaressed to even say this...

don't hate me girls.

Well, a really good friend of mine...her husband got into trouble...this was about 8 years ago. while he was awaiting his sentencing I asked her ... I asked her what she was going to do. I asked her what if it's the 15 years? Don't tell me you are going to wait for him. you are crazy.

I don't know why she didn't just slap me right then.

I was still married to my first husband at that time. I didn't have the relationship that she had with her husband. I didn't have it. I didn't know what real love was. I had no clue. We are still the best of friends. She is one of the very few people who know of my hubby. I had to appologize. I was so embaressed and so .... i don't even know the word. Ashamed of myself I guess.

She was so calm and so sweet. Never said a word to me about it. But I know I had to hurt her feelings. I know she had to have been angry at me. I mean what the hell was I thinking???

WHAT CHOICE DO WE HAVE?

I know I don't have a choice.

I love this man with all my heart and soul....

I have NO choice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kalobsgirl

Don't you just hate that question I mean why do they even ask like we would not wait it is such a dumb question. It never crossed my mind.

Kitty872 · #**116** 06-18-2005, 08:59 PM

It's that connection thing again! lol

really!

I mean who would give up that? Once you have that...you need nothing else. no one else. save us our heartache? The only heartache we would have is being without them. We are not without them now...they are in our hearts, our souls, it's amazing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoesMamiChula

Alot of people have said that I was crazy and/or stupid for waiting. Those are just those unhappy selfish people who only think of themselves. I know people who divorced their husbands when they went to prison. Obviously they didn't take "til death do us part" literally. I hate talking to people I know about all this. They're always saying things like "You'll save yourself a lot of heartache if you just end everything now.". I don't see how they figure that, I'd be miserable without him, and I'd break his heart. I couldn't live knowing I had my perfect soulmate, and just gave up on him. Some people just are cold, uncaring, or really haven't experienced this kind of true love.

Kitty872 · #**117** 06-18-2005, 09:02 PM

Aren't kids the greatest?

The wonderful thing about this is that your son being only 20 months old doesnt know that this is an " unusual" situation. This is how he sees daddy and this is how he loves his daddy. He loves his daddy! It doesn't matter that it's 2 times a month...he doesn't know!!!

Just imagine when daddy gets out...it will be like christmas everyday!!! lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by kalobsgirl

You know Kitty my son is 20 months old and only see his father twice a month(thats all I'm allowed to visit where he is) but that boy knows who his dad is as soon as he walks out. That is something I will never give up on and I know it hurts my husband so much to watch him grow up through pictures but thats what video cameras are for!

Kitty872 · #**118** 06-18-2005, 09:05 PM

oh i know...

Do these men know how lucky there are to have us??? lol

I think they do!

We are a great bunch of gals that's for sure

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dale'sforever

I agree Kalobsgirl, I don't know why people have to be so nosey and try to make us feel bad for waiting for our loved ones! I got that ALOT when my husband first went in because he had so much time and even though we're on the "downhill slide" (as he says

) now and he's almost done, I still have people says sometimes "dang, 4 years!! That's a long time to wait! I'm like 'give me a break! I've already been waiting all this time, I'm not about to leave him now!" I know ppl are curious but it gets annoying that everyone wants to ask "How long is he in for?" , "What did he do?", and "You're gonna wait THAT LONG??"

justicewaiting · #**119** 06-18-2005, 09:08 PM

Laticia, not to worry, none of us knew much when we started doing time (and yes, I do believe we are doing time too). Its too bad that any of us have to learn what we do. Before long you will be answering others questions and wishing that you didn't know the answers. But welcome and feel free to ask anything, that's why we are here, to support each other.

Dale'sforever · #**120** 06-18-2005, 09:12 PM

Hi Georgia, thanks for joining us.

It's so awesome that we have such great members who are all in the same situation and are here to support each other, isn't it?

All of you girls are great!!

Kitty872 · #**121** 06-18-2005, 09:13 PM

It really is wonderful.

I don't know what I would do without you all

Layla

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dale'sforever

Hi Georgia, thanks for joining us.

It's so awesome that we have such great members who are all in the same situation and are here to support each other, isn't it?

All of you girls are great!!

justicewaiting · #**122** 06-18-2005, 09:17 PM

Kitty, I'm not sure how it works in Texas but when he gets to the camp he's going to he should have an IPO and case worker, they can tell you or him when he can expect a parole hearing and what will be needed for the packet. You might also contact the local CURE chapter for his camp, the family rep there will be able to give you all kinds of information. CURE is very active in Texas and is like here and can give you information almost no one else can about what is happening there without the BS. Good Luck and don't let it get you down. We are here if you need.

JoesMamiChula · #**123** 06-18-2005, 09:19 PM

Georgia ~ Thanks! I know what you mean exactly. I feel the same way... we're all doing time!

Dale's Forever ~ Thank you! You are wonderful too! Thanks for starting this club. It feels like an extended family. It's great!

Kitty872 · #**124** 06-18-2005, 09:21 PM

Thank you so much for responding!

He will be going to a camp? Is that another prision term that I don't know yet.

Really...I have no clue.

Camp sounds so much better anyway....

CURE...what is that?

You know, i really feel ditzy right about now!

so sorry!

Quote:

Originally Posted by justicewaiting

Kitty, I'm not sure how it works in Texas but when he gets to the camp he's going to he should have an IPO and case worker, they can tell you or him when he can expect a parole hearing and what will be needed for the packet. You might also contact the local CURE chapter for his camp, the family rep there will be able to give you all kinds of information. CURE is very active in Texas and is like here and can give you information almost no one else can about what is happening there without the BS. Good Luck and don't let it get you down. We are here if you need.

kalobsgirl · #**125** 06-18-2005, 09:23 PM

I know my husband always says just because I'm locked up doesn't mean you have to be locked up but we all know that isn't really what he means. For me its easier that way then no one can say anything about me. If you have problems like me nosey people or the ex like to cause drama!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoesMamiChula

Georgia ~ Thanks! I know what you mean exactly. I feel the same way... we're all doing time!

Dale's Forever ~ Thank you! You are wonderful too! Thanks for starting this club. It feels like an extended family. It's great!