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mari&wes · #76 11-21-2005, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monet420

I was just wondering if anyone ever had to lie to CO workers about where you man is at? I have been lying to this lady for a while now. She thinks that my man just lives a few hours from me because he works up there…I know it is wrong but she is very noisy and she seems to be very judgmental. Believe me I am not ashamed of my man I just don’t think this women will understand. So has anyone every lied about where there man was at??? Maybe said he was serving our country or working on a secret mission

Yes I have been lieing to all my coworkers and boss!
I work with a bunch of too gooders that always talk crap about each other and I am sure they say a few things about me when I can't hear. They think my fiance works the same hours as I do. But my christmas party is soon I don't know what to say when I show up alone! I wish I did not have to go, but Iam the office Manager. The boss counts on me being there! any advise???

billy's angell · #77 11-21-2005, 12:08 PM

okay a few days b4 the party tell then your feeling sick but your fine enough to stay at work you think you caught something from your b/f he is really sick (its winter you can get away with it) but you get better just in the nick of time(geeee imagine that) and he doesnt or tell them that you guys r on a break or something or tell them he had a family emergency and the whole night say darn his family who cares if his great great great aunt loiuse helen marie chico riveria gonzales lopez alfredo died she aint going anywhere she is dead and he should be here i no that last part was no help but im having kinda a good day(see my hubby in two days)lets bust out in a song aint no one gonna break my stride aint noone gonna hold me down oh no i got to keep on moving hold hands and sing out loud okay got off subject sorry so kinda silly i hope you find some one that can help

lostnlonely · #78 11-21-2005, 04:34 PM

I am proud of all of you whom are able to stand up and tell the world that you are not ashamed of your man and where he is. All I ask is that you not be judgemental of those of us who can't. I am not ashamed of my fiancee or my relationship but the reality of the real world is that there are people who cant understand the situation we live in. The other thing I think about is how he will be treated when he comes home. Of course family and close friends are aware of the situation but co-workers who may judge, or use this information in a negative way towards thier advantage have no business knowing our business. I wish the world was different and I could tell the anyone who asked why I didn't live w/ my fiancee but if I did that now I wouldn't get promotions, work oppurtunities, and a chance for my work to be seen w/o judgement of my personal life. I dunno. I can't tell the truth about where he is but I'm always very vocal about how much I love him and I think thats the most important part.

rnjones00 · #79 11-21-2005, 05:18 PM

I always tell my Co-workers that we are separated and he lives out of town but we are both working on individual issues. It's not a lie and they tend to leave it alone after I bring it to them as a very sensitive subject

babygirl350 · #80 11-21-2005, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rnjones00

I always tell my Co-workers that we are separated and he lives out of town but we are both working on individual issues. It's not a lie and they tend to leave it alone after I bring it to them as a very sensitive subject

Oh, I do love this answer. I think I will save it and if sometime in the future I change jobs where I become a married woman, I can use it.

I think what appeals to me the most about this answer is it is the truth and I doubt very seriously if anyone is going to want to question any further such a sensitive subject.

Thanks!

cassylovesjr · #81 11-21-2005, 09:37 PM

Everyone that I work with know that my fiance is in prison . They are all supportive to me about it . I have always told the truth about him being in prison . There is no need to lie about it .

mogley · #82 11-21-2005, 10:18 PM

Some people feel better if they can talk about things. My best friend Susan talked all about her son, and those of us who work with her were sympathetic and supportive. When it happend to MY son, I just couldn't talk. No one at work knows. He did nothing wrong and I will never be ashamed of him, but I just cannot talk about it. My Mom told some of her friends and I asked her not to tell anyone else. I still expect him to walk through the door, saying they realized that it was all a big mistake. I have warned all my friends with teenage children to tell their kids that just knowing a drug user can get them put into prison, but I act like I heard it on the news.

mari&wes · #83 11-23-2005, 03:18 PM

LOL! Thanks the advise sucks but you made me laugh!
siriously thanks for the laugh! congradulations on your hubby coming home! I still have 2 wait 4 years. this ugly road to sadness just started 4 mths ago.I have ways to go before I can sing my song! Thanks for the reply.

dana2nice2000 · #84 11-23-2005, 05:20 PM

No one at my job new I was dating anyone until I took the days off to get married and I told them then I was getting married. They don't know that he is locked up and I don't think it's any of their concern. They know enough information right now.

monet420 · #85 12-01-2005, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mari&wes

Yes I have been lieing to all my coworkers and boss!
I work with a bunch of too gooders that always talk crap about each other and I am sure they say a few things about me when I can't hear. They think my fiance works the same hours as I do. But my christmas party is soon I don't know what to say when I show up alone! I wish I did not have to go, but Iam the office Manager. The boss counts on me being there! any advise???

I feel you on the xmas party I just told people that we are going to go to his party.....I have gotten to the point where I am beliving that he is home LOL

KBs_Baby · #86 07-25-2006, 01:31 PM

i don't lie but i've decided to not mention the specifics. i don't feel like our relationship is anyone's business but our own especially when i know it'll turn into a water cooler convo.

PiNkKiSsEs023 · #87 07-25-2006, 02:59 PM

I used to lie about where my boyfriend was while I was pregnant, because everyone was always asking why he wasnt around. I just told him he was working alot to make money to support me and the baby. Now that our son was just born last month, i felt i had to stop lieing about it, and I finally told some of my family and friends. My father told my grandma that he was in prison and she was pissed. She was saying to him 'How could he do this to her?!' Thats exactly why I didn't want to say anything in the 1st place. Its not like he wants to be there, and I know he would be here if he could. Not everyone in prison = a bad person. I just wish more people would realize that

honeyg · #88 07-25-2006, 03:11 PM

Don't have to. Everyone at work knows where my man is and they're fine with it. An ex-employee got arrested right before I was hired on a charge that no one believes that he did. He was sentenced to 10 years. Everyone here loves the guy and many still write to him and hope that he will be able to get out on appeal. So, they have seen first hand how the system is and no one gives me a hard time.

lovelooch4eva · #89 07-25-2006, 03:14 PM

Unfortunately I have lied to my co-workers about where my fiancee is. They're always asking me about him and I'm always makin up some lie because I feel like they wouldn't understand my situation.

It's bad enough my family knows where he is and they don't really like me bein with him.

But I wish I didn't have to lie about it I would give anything to say he's not locked up but it's the situation right now and I've chosen to stay by him. I really do love him and I feel there's no reason for me to leave him in his time of need.

gemn526 · #90 07-25-2006, 03:14 PM

I used to in the beginning.. Now if someone asks, I will tell the truth... But the only ones who would are usually my family and they all know now...

tonyloveschris · #91 07-25-2006, 03:16 PM

a lawyer i worked for thought my husband lived in vegas with his parents - i told many this before. you know who you could trust and who you cant

babygurl79 · #92 07-25-2006, 04:15 PM

If asked I tell them what state he is in.......and then when asked what he's doing there.....i just give them his Job title while he's in. I have many close friends that do know and I am back at a job that knew about most of it when it first started so I am not real worried there.

dancingflame41 · #93 07-25-2006, 04:22 PM

Only one of my friends knows where he is and no one in my family knows we are even together. The past year has all been a lie to them and when they find out I am sure they won't want anything to do with me but he's my baby and I'm going to stand by him no matter what.

hesgettinout06 · #94 07-25-2006, 04:31 PM

u r so right pink... i wont speak 4 any1 else but the reason i withhold my personal business from co-workers (i dont consider it lying) is because ppl automatically make the assumption that prison = bad person. we all know that's not the case or we wouldn't be so in luv w/the men we're with. any/every person i talk w/outside the work setting knows about my situation (family/friends). i hate 2 lie (& im horrible at it) so if some1 asks what we're doing for the weekend or my bday or anniversary, i always say something really generic. but, its actually the truth. for instance, i've said b4 in the past, we're going 2 have a lovely, quiet dinner, just us two. hey, its true. they just dont know that dinner is coming from a vending machine.

neworleans85 · #95 07-25-2006, 05:13 PM

my bf used to work at the same place i now do so ppl are constantly asking where he went, whats he doing, etc? it gets SOOOO tiresome lying and making up crap after a while. i feel like trapped in this lie though. if it were up to me, i'd tell everyone the truth. i really don't feel an ounce of shame (not saying anyone else does) or a need to have my privacy respected. it truly doesn't seem like it should be a big deal to anyone else and if it is, so what? i am a strong believer that those who matter don't care & those who care don't matter. but i keep on with the elaborate lies because my bf doesn't want people knowing HIS business. he is more concerned about other ppl's perception of him than i am of mine.

Lisaa731 · #96 07-25-2006, 07:13 PM

I lie about it every day. I also lie about where I am going when I visit. Some people just will never be capable of understanding anything they have not lived. There are too many "Judges" out there.

rekeeta2000 · #97 07-25-2006, 07:17 PM

I said "YES" because when I was working people would ask "How are you and your guy doing" and I would say "Great".

Therefore it wasn't a straight out lie...more so indirect. I'm not ashamed of where he is, but I feel that it's no one else's business really. And it's truly not information you can give without someone wanting more of an explanation. Someone is always going to want the "gory" details. And then all the comments that are bound to come up afterwards....I just feel as though it would be a subject never to be dropped and I really never felt like putting myself in the position to have to deal with it.

rekeeta2000 · #98 07-25-2006, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisaa731

I lie about it every day. I also lie about where I am going when I visit. Some people just will never be capable of understanding anything they have not lived. There are too many "Judges" out there.

Isn't that the truth!!! Nicely said

nina38 · #99 07-25-2006, 07:45 PM

Yes, I feel that unless you walk in my shoes, you can't relate to what it's
all about. I don't put my buisness out there for people who just can't relate to what we go through day to day . OR our loved ones for that matter

monet420 · #**100** 07-25-2006, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisaa731

I lie about it every day. I also lie about where I am going when I visit. Some people just will never be capable of understanding anything they have not lived. There are too many "Judges" out there.

OMG I do the same thing when I go visit...I tell them that I am going out of town to visit a reletive LOL