Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

Lonelybutinlove · #**201** 05-23-2009, 12:01 AM

I do my best to never talk about it. In my situation my fiance worked at the same company I do and when he was charged and going through court it was in the newspapers so everyone knew and since the court proceedings took almost 3 years it was pretty hard to hide. In the end when it was close to sentencing my co-workers started to treat me poorly because of it. Now I do my best to just not talk about it with anyone and I imagine most people assume we are no longer together. I don't think this makes me love him any less but even my own family and friends do not support me in loving him through all this which is why I turned to this site for some support and was happy to see this topic. I don't think other people should judge me because I am loyal and in love with someone who is in prison but unfortunately that is the world I live in and have to accept for the time being.

Womba Angel · #**202** 05-23-2009, 08:05 AM

I agree with a lot of the others on this topic. My close friends know but any ne else it is none of their business. I too say yes I have a boyfriend, where is he? Oh in another state at the moment and leave it at that. I don't want him judged for something that happened in his past.

mrs wB · #**203** 05-23-2009, 09:37 PM

Ive lied to people but not co worker its none of there business anyway if they mind there own then maybe they could keep a man its always the single not by choice people who have a problem with my man and his temp home lol

cmachado7 · #**204** 05-23-2009, 09:39 PM

I don't tell co workers about my situation... just close friends and family... Doesn't really feel like lying... like others have said it's none of their business... especially if they don't know him anyway!

Tara · #**205** 05-24-2009, 01:50 PM

I have not lied to co workers but that is why I have had to hear a lot of B.S. I am not ashamed of my husband. Of course, I wish he was home but it is what it is.

mrsrizz1986 · #**206** 05-24-2009, 01:56 PM

I've never lie about it either. See where I live in York PA, having a man that goes to jail is pretty dam normal. That's why we got plans to move away from here so we can get our lives in order.

Tara · #**207** 05-24-2009, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrsrizz1986

I've never lie about it either. See where I live in York PA, having a man that goes to jail is pretty dam normal. That's why we got plans to move away from here so we can get our lives in order.

Yeah I live in California and it is not that uncommon here either. The only thing here is a lot of women look a paycheck and a car as the mans worth. I look at his heart and how he makes my heart feel.

jessica7661 · #**208** 05-24-2009, 06:21 PM

i dont lie about anything. im not really capable of it i dunno if thats a good thing but i know while i was in the hospital giving birth to our child i wish i could lie. the reaction i got from people who asked where the daddy was horrible. it painted a picture of him that he didnt care about us and he dipped. thats not the case at all and it really felt horrible. i wish i could lie but honestly lies arent nessecary..this is my life and i choose to be here while he's away..thats just the truth..skrew em i guess.

beatlebaily81 · #**209** 05-24-2009, 07:11 PM

I dont tell my all of my coworkers where my husband is because i work in mental health and then they will think they have to fix something that does not need to be fixed. so yes i lie but everyone else in my life knows understands and is very supporting, i try not to mix work with my personal life cuz things tend to get sticky.

**Patty** · #**210** 05-24-2009, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beatlebaily81

I dont tell my all of my coworkers where my husband is because i work in mental health and then they will think they have to fix something that does not need to be fixed. so yes i lie but everyone else in my life knows understands and is very supporting, i try not to mix work with my personal life cuz things tend to get sticky.

Actually there are many mental health professionals in prison relationships both mbi and mwi.

WickedFaerie · #**211** 05-24-2009, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonelybutinlove

Now I do my best to just not talk about it with anyone and I imagine most people assume we are no longer together. I don't think this makes me love him any less but even my own family and friends do not support me in loving him through all this which is why I turned to this site for some support and was happy to see this topic. I don't think other people should judge me because I am loyal and in love with someone who is in prison but unfortunately that is the world I live in and have to accept for the time being.

I had to put that there, Lonely, because I understand. My family, and some of my friends, are against my talking to Craig. I COULDN'T hide it from my work. Not only did I go from normal to complete zombie for a year (I took his lock up HARD) but he has a cousin that works with me, so everyone knew. My sister also works with me, so she'd answer the questions they had. All of them now think I don't talk to him (including most of my family), but the ones that do know support me in my decision to stay with him. So, I don't "lie" about it... I simply don't reveal the truth to the illusion they've created in their minds, so to speak.

Fancy · #**212** 05-26-2009, 02:58 PM

Sometimes I tell people he is out of town building a bridge.

That is not a lie, he is building a bridge to get back home.

amberdawns1 · #**213** 05-26-2009, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monet420

I was just wondering if anyone ever had to lie to CO workers about where you man is at? I have been lying to this lady for a while now. She thinks that my man just lives a few hours from me because he works up there…I know it is wrong but she is very noisy and she seems to be very judgmental. Believe me I am not ashamed of my man I just don’t think this women will understand. So has anyone every lied about where there man was at??? Maybe said he was serving our country or working on a secret mission

I work in mortgage, nobody at my job would understand so I lie too. I don't feel that my family buisness has to be shared at work. Do what you feel you must and keep your head up I know how you feel.

Tina · #**214** 05-26-2009, 04:29 PM

I havent lied but I dont volunteer info either. My business is mine.

TinaV · #**215** 05-26-2009, 08:28 PM

There are so many people in jail anyways, I never felt ashamed at all. He's a good man. I don't care what other people think. Just my thoughts.

Sis of sis · #**216** 05-26-2009, 08:31 PM

I have only let my close friends know about my sister. I really don't want to talk about her to anyone who doesn't know her. It's just fodder for gossip.

TinaV · #**217** 05-26-2009, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sis of sis

I have only let my close friends know about my sister. I really don't want to talk about her to anyone who doesn't know her. It's just fodder for gossip.

I stopped caring about what people think a long time ago. So let them talk, and if they do, they really need to look at their own flaws. The more you care about what people think, the worse it gets. So let them gossip away.
But I understand what your saying. I used to think the same way. Peace.

KMJoyner · #**218** 06-21-2009, 06:56 AM

I lie about where he is to everyone at my job except for my one very close friend. The people I work with are very judgemental and due to the type of work I do, I think for the sake of my position, keeping the details to myself is the best option. My husband knows only one person at my work knows the truth and he was worried about even her knowing!! He said he would hate for people to judge me for his circumstances and not the quality of my work.

HisAngel2 · #**219** 06-21-2009, 07:12 AM

I could care less what my co-workers would think about me if they knew, bI care what they think about HIM. Since I don't plan on quitting anytime soon, they don't need to know anything about him and then pass judgement on him. So really, I do it for him because I don't want him thinking that these bitties I work with are looking down on him.

h1spr1nc3ss · #**220** 06-22-2009, 02:14 PM

i used to lie. but after a while i stopped caring. if people wanna judge me because my mans in prison than good for them. i dont care what anyone else has to think. there are many people around you that have a loved one in jail and you may not even know it. the other day i went to buy a chain for my man at wal mart and i was telling the lady i was going to send it to the prison and she said that she has a son in prison too and she looked like the innocent type of people. so really no one has the right to judge so i dont care no more.

XBOXPROGURL · #**221** 06-22-2009, 02:28 PM

if ask, i just say he's not around at the moment and leave it at that...only certain people know were he's at...people that i trust

LUV him str8 up · #**222** 06-22-2009, 04:23 PM

No, they can kiss my azz. He is a reflection of who I am and I'm not gonna hide or change things for somebody else. If they don't agree, I could care less.

lw20ls · #**223** 06-22-2009, 05:33 PM

I dont tell my co-workers b/c it is none of their business. They often ask why he doesnt come to any functions that we have at work. So to stop them from asking I have told them that he has a job out of town. Then the questions start. Is he working out of town, what is he doing and where is he at? Man leave me and my relationship alone. I love my Boo and it doesnt change the way i feel about him.

loveispatient13 · #**224** 06-25-2009, 06:43 PM

Nope i havent i tend to avoid the question when i first start a job but i let them know eventually he is a part of me and i know not everyone is going to accept my relationship i could really careless what they think i dont go to work to make friends anyway

pmartin · #**225** 06-25-2009, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monet420

I was just wondering if anyone ever had to lie to CO workers about where you man is at? I have been lying to this lady for a while now. She thinks that my man just lives a few hours from me because he works up there…I know it is wrong but she is very noisy and she seems to be very judgmental. Believe me I am not ashamed of my man I just don’t think this women will understand. So has anyone every lied about where there man was at??? Maybe said he was serving our country or working on a secret mission

Not alot of of my co-workers know where my husband is. Only the ones I am close to know and they dont divulge any info to the others. People are real critical of people that are locked up. It is sad that its this way,but alot of people have not walked in our shoes.

I havent told my relitives in N.J. either as they are the worse for talking crap! before my husband went back to the penn,he worked for a company that installs utility poles for the electric co. they do alot of out of town work so I tell them he's out of town alot and that seems to satisfy them.

When he comes home and they see him I want them to meet him and like him for who he is and not pass judgment on him before that.I want theem to meet the guy that I love.