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rgtsgirl · #1 10-26-2005, 10:47 PM

My Husband just went in on 10/7/05. I get up everyday and just feel lost without him. How do I deal with feeling so lonely? I try to be strong for my kids but when I am by myself, I cry at the drop of a hat. How do you make the feeling that part of you is missing, go away? Everything I do or hear reminds me that he is not here with me. I miss him so much and I do not know how to get past this.

albmonsters · #2 10-26-2005, 10:56 PM

Welcome to PTO! If I can tell you anything it would be this....

Let yourself feel the initial grief. It's good for you to get that release out initially. Then, Slowly, start by taking it minute by minute then hour by hour and then day by day. I don't know how long he will be gone for but try and focus on your kids and what the two of you want life to be like when he gets out. Try and work towards that picture.

My boyfriend has been in for a little over 3 years now. Every day I get up and I work at this. Everday, I live and work towards a picture of what that life will be like. It is my new found purpose. It is me getting angry at him being in there and saying "ya knwo what, you have him now. But when he gets out, we're gonna beat the odds and I'm going to do EVERYTHING in my power to make that happen" It has become OUR mission statement.

You will have bad days, I won't lie to you. I have days when I throw the biggest temper tantrums you can imagine. But, the next day will be better and its one more day closer to him coming home. Communication is KEY and it will be your life line. tell him, tell the people here, tell family and friends if you have them. Let them support you emotionally through this and you will get there.

Hope this helps. Pm me if you need to talk.

mamicita · #3 10-27-2005, 07:26 AM

how long does he have?
u get through it by taking one day at a time...like the ladies have told me to do.
u get through it with support and being supportive as well.
u get through it with prayers and belief...

u will be okay.....

Reynaldosmami · #4 10-27-2005, 07:35 AM

It's hard at first crying helps a lot. But try to stop thinking about him not being around think of it like he has gone on a business trip or something. Just think about when you can finally receive a letter or start visiting him once that part is over you will get used to it. Miss your man love your man and wait for him if he is your true love we will all be here to support you and help you in this process we are all a big family and we will all get through this

Texxie · #5 10-27-2005, 07:55 AM

In addition to all of the other ideas, it might not be a bad idea to make an appointment with your family doctor and get something to help you through this. There's no shame in being depressed, nor is there any shame in taking Prozac, Zoloft, whatever to help get you through this tough time.

babyames · #6 10-27-2005, 10:43 AM

I have found it helps to stay busy. I am back in school, work a lot, spend as much time as I can with my niece and my brother. I am eagerly anticipating snowboarding season. Albmonsters is right, there will be bad days, but they become fewer as time goes on and you build your support system.

CONWIFE · #7 10-27-2005, 08:56 PM

keep busy. i went back to school. now i work two jobs. it helps not to think about it so much. and the money helps too now that i don't have his income. build up a good support of friends and family . also , visit pto and talk to others here who understand. it has helped me alot. welcome to our family.

Jillian · #8 10-27-2005, 10:10 PM

Like some of the women said just stay busy.. Dont dwell on the fact that he is gone for that would make it alot harder on you .. You can make it harder on yourself.. Missing him is not gonna go away for he is away.. When you feel that pain just get a paper and write .. write him a letter or just write your feelings down.... poetry SOmetimes this can help..

luischristina · #9 10-27-2005, 10:25 PM

I know exactly how you feel when my man first went in I was a wreck I didnt want to do anything. I would go to bed crying and wake up and start crying when I looked over and he wasnt there people were saying everything they could to try to calm me down but no one could say anything to make me feel better I was so depressed but I can honestly say that things did get easier with time and you will start to feel better with time.. I agree with the other ladies staying busy and writing when you get upset will help and if you ever feel like you need to talk to someone feel free to PM me

bigbaby551 · #10 10-31-2005, 07:10 AM

I know how you feel, and I sympathize with you. I I also know that I have to handle my business at home as well. I attend spiritual services,I take my boys to the library,attend band concerts,I attend basketball games,I read the Bible and all of the time ,I PRAY! It helps me to deal with ANY problem that I may have . I sound cold as I said before because this is not the FIRST time that he's been in this situation.
ewife O3 ,I agree 100%.
Ladies...have a great one

rgtsgirl · #11 11-11-2005, 10:35 PM

Thank you all so much! I try to stay busy but I work 6 days a week so it is not hard. I think it is getting a little easier. The crying spells are coming fewer and farther between. PTO is the best thing. I am so glad I came across this website. My brother went in a few years back, he is out now but I never thought I would have to go through this again. It is hard to find stuff to do, we done everything together. So just about everything I like to do just reminds me that he is not here to do it with me. But I think I will be O.K. it will just take time.

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