Probation Vent!

[tyson]

i donno if this is the right place but i need to vent bad!
my probation officer lives to make my life miserable! i do everything they want but she hounds me like i am doing something wrong! gets practically nose to nose with me and tells me she knows my sh%t isn't that clean and she is going to find something on me.

i dont want to seem like i am playing a race card but she is black and i am white and it appears she has it out for me. black guys come out of her office laughing and joking with her. i walk in and her smile melts off her face and she goes from good mood to horrible one. it seems like blatant racism to me but i dont know if i should tlak to her boss. she has made it clear that if i cross her she will find some reason for me to go to jail.

she makes me so mad i want to tear her apart. at least then i will feel good on the trip there knowing i didnt go for nothing.

-toby

[sherri13]

TOBY

I AM SORRY YOU ARE HAVING SUCH A ROUGH TIME WITH YOUR PO--HOPEFULLY THERE WILL BE SOMEONE ON HERE WHO KNOWS MORE ABOUT PROBATION WHO CAN ADVISE YOU IF IT WOULD MAKE THINGS BETTER OR WORSE BY GOING THROUGH THE CHAIN OF COMMAND AND REPORTING HER ACTIONS--I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY HOW LONG YOU HAVE TO BE ON PROBATION BUT REMEMBER NO ONE CAN BREAK YOU UNLESS YOU LET THEM--SO DON'T LET HER GET TO YOU--THAT IS THE BEST REVENGE FOR HER UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR.

FEEL FREE TO VENT HERE ANYTIME-WE ARE HERE FOR YOU--
SHERRI

[Budwoman]

TOBY:


What ever you do, do not loose your temper with her.... I understand where you are comming from and you are more than likely right about the racial thing but you must control yourself. You cannot control the way anyone else acts.

Let her make a fool out of herself.....Smile at her and be friendly even tho she makes you angry. You will win if you do that. Eventually, she will loose.

Keep the faith.....Do what is best for you...

Donna

[jdswifey02]

Toby....
I agree with what others have said that the best thing you can do it to kill her with kindness... Just stay focused on doing what you need to do.... As long as you do, she won't have anything to violate you on, so you won't have anything to worry about. In the event that she does try to violate you, then you would have the opportunity to have her recommendation reviewed.... Until then, I would be afraid that if you tried to go to her supervisor or something, she would make your life miserable. Even if you were reassigned to another P.O., it wouldn't be good. They tend to stick together. One recommendation... keep good records.... Know when you have met with her, keep track of all of your progress toward probation goals, etc. etc. That way if she ever tries to take her documentation to say you aren't doing well on probation, you will have everything to document that you have done everything that has been asked of you.
Good luck!!! And by all means share whenever you need to!! You won't ever find judgement or criticism here!

[torrey]

She is trying to provoke you to anger and inappropriate behavior. She is doing this for many reasons or just one. Maybe she is a racist, she is a power fascist, she hates your hair, she hates what you were incarcerated for, she hates her boss, she doesn't like that you are reformed and following all the rules and she can't bust you etc.... etc..... Don't concentrate on why right now. Pray and meditate before you go in to see her that you will have the power to deal with her calmly, civilly, and what ever she says or does will not effect your personally. Concentrate on your behavior. Don't let what she says and does cause you to react. Visualize that you have a magic mirror and all that she attacks you with all her negativity is bounced right back to her. Bring into the room all the positive power you can bring out. Radiate with goodness. This positive energy will nullify negative energy. It is like walking into the a darkest room and flipping on a flashlight. The light wins.

Another suggestion is that if you really feel she is targeting you and you want to pursue this issue of racism I would purchase one of those small recorders. I had to do this with my previous boss. I would put it in my jacket pocket and when he would start yelling at me I would slip my hand into my pocket and push record. It picked up his abusive voice with perfect clarity. After about three of these outburst I took it to personnel. After several previous written reports about his sexism to the women employees which did no good. I had proof and that worked. He was fired.

[Amelia]

I agree with all the ladies..be extra nice, she is expecting you to blow your top...My husband Stephen had a very tough PO and he just was very nice and kind and in the end she tried to help us avoid having his probation revoked!! Just remember she is waiting for you to stumble - so how will she feel when you complete your time and are done--probably mad as hell!!! so remember the best revenge is happiness...just do what you need to stay straight and I agree you should definetly document all your meeting and progress...good luck to you and we are here to hear your frustrations..Good Luck and Keep Your Cool no matter what-she isnt worth it!!!

[Shortie]

DOCUMENTATION>>

I can not stress it enough.. When she gets in your face keep a log of it. In most states it is admissable when a recommentation is being reviewed. Try to tolerate her and understand that she has a problem but do not make it yours. The moment you do it make her win.

So again just keep a log on who what when and where. It will pay off in the end. I would even find out about the policy for changing PO's. Hope you can get a different result from her in the future. Even PO's can change. LOL