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nivekld75 · #1 12-19-2005, 10:19 PM

I am wondering how I may go about corresponding with a gay inmate? I am not wanting to do this for sick, perverted reasons. I am a gay man and sometimes need friends to help me get through tough times, and can only imagine what a gay man has to deal with in prison being gay and being in prison. I am wanting to penpal someone and become their friend. I AM NOT looking for relationships, I think that is inappropriate in this setting. How do I go about doing this. I would like to contain this correspondence through this board only because PTO is the only discussion board on the net, I have found anyway, that is as informative and welcoming. GREAT WORK PTO!!!

Is this an inappropriate question? I am just wanting to help out a gay man in prison by being his friend on the outside. I certainly hope I have not offended anyone.

Thanks for your time,
Kev

*Ken* · #2 12-20-2005, 04:36 AM

Hey Kev, welcome to PTO! Good to have you here and thank you for the nice words about PTO and what we do.

I don't think that your question is inappropriate at all.... in fact I started writing a gay Prisoner almost 5 years ago. I was not looking for anything other than a friendship, but that is not the way it turned out - so beware! LOL

You can not however keep it contained to this site - if that is what I am understanding? Prisoners do not have access to the Internet so you will have to write snail mail letters and receive letters either to your home or to a post office box.

I can certainly direct you to find a gay prisoner to write to if you are interested. You may get someone in this forum offer you a name - I am not certain if we have any gay prisoners listed in our own pen pal forum...? But I know that I could help you find someone.

Phil in Paris · #3 12-20-2005, 04:46 AM

Hi Kev,

Welcome to the PTO family and the GLBT forum.

I too started writing an inmate almost 4 years ago.... and now we're in love.

I posted a gay inmate in the PTO penpal section. He was my partner's best buddy when Joey was still at FSP. His name is Kenneth, nickname "Buddha" (don't ask me why.) Anyway, he's a friendly guy, I send him postcards for Christmas and his birthday and he always writes me back nice thank you letters.

Here's a link to his ad on PTO:

http://prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=111391

Goo luck with whatever you do.

Phil

nivekld75 · #4 12-20-2005, 06:08 AM

Thanks for the warm welcome, I was afraid I was gonna get attacked but I am happy to be shown differently

What I meant by containing it to this board was, I found your board to be informative and if the reception was positive, which it was, I wanted to stay here on this board to get info that I needed. This is the only board that I can find anyway, that offers the great things this board does. Again Thanks to you guys.

PTO-29412 · #5 12-20-2005, 11:38 PM

Welcome to PTO! I hope you find alot of support and information here!

ChristyHoskins · #6 12-20-2005, 11:46 PM

Hey Kev
This place is awesome! You'll find no judgements here! I hope you found what you were looking for? Like Teb said...watch out...it may turn in to something other than just friendship.

I met the love of my life when all I was looking for was someone to write to and maybe make a new friend. Let us know how it goes!

Christy

RayHill · #7 12-21-2005, 06:41 AM

Kevin,
I have been off line a while and things have been happening in Texas that effect gay people in prison. The Roderick Johnson case was lost in Wichita Falls. That was a real set back because it was a very well documented case of official neglect to sexual abuse in which many of us had a lot of hope.
As the case progressed it became clear that the state would use everything they had to prevent Johnson from winning. Some of the testimony presented by the state was incredible. I sent an East Texas lawyer to evalue the situation and he reported that Johnson's lawyer lost the case in jury selection. It is just hard for a Yankee lawyer to sort out the red necks in rural Texas. We have black red necks down here. Johnson appears to be headed back to prison (pay back is a MF) on the conveniently fabricated drug evidence used to influence the case out come. The Prison Shoow will follow his situation as best we can. TDCJ will try to limit his contact with the show because his support from the ACLU came via a letter he sent to The Prison Show seeking help. For those of you unfamiliar with the case Roderick was used as a sex slave by prison gangsters and his repeated requests to be placed in protection were denied by prison rank on that unit. It is good to be back. I have been out of prison almost 31 years after a 160 year sentence. I did my time openly gay in general population and am openly gay on The Prison Show (reminding the audience often). I go into prison frequently as an AA/NA volunteer and with Veterans Incarcerated groups. Check out my weekly radio show!

nivekld75 · #8 12-22-2005, 07:27 AM

Interesting but that really does not concern my original question.

nivekld75 · #9 12-22-2005, 07:33 AM

I have written 3 inmates now and hopefully I hear back from them. I hear it is very rewarding. It is left to be seen. At least on my end.

RayHill · #10 12-22-2005, 07:36 AM

Sorry I did not mean to intrude but I have not yet learned how to start a new thread in this group. Please forgive.Ray

nivekld75 · #11 12-22-2005, 07:38 AM

You did not intrude, it was my poor attitude. Sorry. Is there a forum in here that deals with gay inmates that feel unsafe and that may not have anyone on the outside to support them, that we might help with? Or do we just keep that under pen-pals?

RayHill · #12 12-22-2005, 07:54 AM

I hope glbt folk do not have to be put into a general category. That would leave us here as we are in larger society trying to rely on gaydar to find friends. I am gay. Roderick Johnson is gay. What happened to him is as bad as it can get in prison for gay inmates. It may be strange to some that the inmates they correspond with are not openly gay in the institution but things are very different there. I was openly gay in prison but I'm a big guy and was famous when I got there because of the news coverage of my case so I was accepted without prejudice. I also train people how to survive incarceration and it is different for each individual.
Having some connection to the outside world is so important to an isolated gay inmate. Thank you for careing and please continue to seek a penpal. On Friday night in Houston at 9:00 p.m. I do The Prison Show and just two hours after my program is Afterhours an GLBT late night program. Together we get lots of correspondence from gay inmates. You can hear the shows on the web at kpftx.org

PTO-29412 · #13 12-22-2005, 11:53 AM

We really do not have any specific forum for gay inmates. If they are on the inside, their is really nothing we can do to help them. However, if they are fixing to go into prison, and have concerns or fears, then they are able to use this forum, or we have a heading to prison forum. As well as many state specific forums.

We try to have something for everyone here, and I hope everyone is able to find several forums that they can frequent and post in!

Nivekld, if you are intrested in discussing things going on with your pen-pal, I see no reason you couldn't post it here, or talk about it here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nivekld75

You did not intrude, it was my poor attitude. Sorry. Is there a forum in here that deals with gay inmates that feel unsafe and that may not have anyone on the outside to support them, that we might help with? Or do we just keep that under pen-pals?

Rodg · #14 12-27-2005, 03:04 PM

Wow Kev!
What you are doing is great. But like everyone says, BE CAREFUL! 7 years ago I decided to write to an inmate. I saw a picture of him...totally awesome, playgirl centerfold, 19 years younger than me "Safe Bet" I decided and began to write. I'm in OHIO and fly to California every other month. The most incredible love either of us has ever experienced and just keeps getting stronger. 10 years to go, we just won an appeal and lost a re-trial but we're both in it for the long haul. Inmates need honest friends that don't judge. In all these years, I have never asked the details of my partner's case. We exchanged rings 6 years ago, made commitments to each other and I've never been happier. I've never been so loved. Good luck, be cautious yet trusting.
Rodg