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HIS WIFEY POOH · #1 12-21-2005, 12:04 PM

my husband has had some "past" gay experiences before we met and it has me worried now that he is in prison he still keeps in touch with he "old" gay friend mind i say this man has a wife but in a divorce he says to get money and some one to talk to so i dont have to send money but he has know this man for a while i dont know should i be worried if he is getting his groove on on the inside or when he comes out help me some one any one or am i over-reacting

abeautifulsoul2 · #2 12-21-2005, 12:37 PM

Ok, if he's had "gay experiences" than he's bisexual; let's call it what it is. With that knowledge, I don't blame you for being worried; I would be too. Since I don't know him, I can't tell you what he's doing in there or what's up with this male friend of his. I think in your heart, you already know rather your feelings are warranted. I can tell you that you need to approach him about it ASAP; if he is doing something he isn't going to tell you, but watch his reaction and follow your instincts. Just follow your "first mind," it won't steer you wrong.

Voyager · #3 12-21-2005, 02:21 PM

It would seem to me that if you are his wife and you are not comfortable with him having contact with an ex-lover, regardless of the gender, that you would have a right to tell him so. Of course, he has his own mind to make up at that point, and then you decide thereafter.

As far as him having same gender relationships on the inside...the only way you would ever know is if he told you. So, you might as well not worry about that because it is not going to do you much good.

*Ken* · #4 12-23-2005, 08:53 AM

Relationships are built (IMO) on communication and trust. Talk to him about your fears. Don't bring them only to us and get a general opinion of other experiences and opinions - talk to your love. You need to build that trust. I am gay - my partner is obviously gay - he is in prison - I trust that he is not cheating on me based on our communication and our relationship. Just because he has had gay experiences in the past does not mean that he is cheating on you in prison. Don't jump to conclusions or stress where stress is not needed.

Enjay · #5 01-06-2006, 09:11 AM

It seems to me that people assume that being bi or gay makes you promiscuous. I'm bi but if I'm with someone in a relationship, I'm in a relationship and don't play around! I am married now and my husband is trying to get me to get a girlfriend. I think to him it's totally different then if I were with another man. As far as your husband is concerned, I have had alot of bi boyfriends and when they were with me they were committed. So it all depends on the person and your relationship. Have you ever talked to him about your marriage and the level of commitment you both expect? That would be the first step I would think. Get what you need and what he needs out in the open. Just because he is bi does not mean he can't be in a committed relationship, even if an ex is there with him. Communication between the two of you is very important.

eddieswife · #6 01-06-2006, 06:30 PM

Hi,

Yes, you should worry and be cautious.

Let your hubbie know how you feel and tell him that he can be honest with you and that he can tell you anything.

The fact that he is still in communication with his gay friend would eek me out. I would want to know what they talk about and stuff. As his wife you have the right to know.

Just be cautious and demand honesty from your man. Honesty is important in a relationship. My man has a problem with lying and he is on my bad side right now. I will kick him to the curb for a more honest man any day! And I told him that. I am demanding honesty and respesct from my guy.

But in your case, yes you should be worried and you need to discuss your concerns with your husband. Hopefully, your boo is an honest one! And you can take it from there after you know everything.

Much Love,
Angie

nightbird · #7 01-09-2006, 10:25 AM

I'd be concerned he said he is in touch with the old friend to get money. Is he using the person to get money cause that does not sit well with me and shows a lack of character. I would not want my husband to use anyone to get money, ex lover, friends etc.

mrschris · #8 01-13-2006, 10:50 AM

to be quite honest, my opinion is that if he is being taken care of, or he is going to be taken care of...he is probably resuming an intimate relationship with this person. i hope you find out what is really going on, and soon. but remember don't deny any thing that you feel in your heart.