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Evilnlita033005 · #1 01-13-2006, 11:01 AM

It's been at least 2 months since me and my ex broke up. Basically what happened was that one of his ex's started visiting him behind my back and while I was supporting him, she went up there with no worries because she didn't have to spend a dime. The point is that even though he played me, I miss him very much. I know to most of you this sounds like I'm a weak person but I stood up for myself and walked away cleanly. I miss the letters, the 3-way calls, the pictures he drew for me, I miss the visits ever so much. I don't know what's wrong with me and I really wish I could stop missing him. I've been trying to move on but every time I do, he writes me a letter saying he's sorry and that he wants me back then I turn into a big mess because I don't know what to do and then he says something stupid and I hate him again.

HELP!!!!!

HeSoHandsome · #2 01-13-2006, 12:00 PM

SweetiePie this does not sound like you are a weak person but that you are a human person with human emotions. Love hurts when your heart breaks. And, when you're used to a certain lifestyle with a person and then you break up and that lifestyle is gone, it's a natural emotion to miss that lifestyle.

Let's get the terminology correct, first off. She did not visit him behind your back -- he cheated -- he allowed her to visit him -- he entertained her behind your back.

I'm sorry about what happened, but basically wanted to set some things straight, like number one you are not a weak person for missing him and what yall shared, and that number two she is not the culprit, he is.

BrandsGApeach · #3 01-13-2006, 02:28 PM

I know it's hard. You dont' sound weak at all to me! You have to follow your heart! Do what you think is right!!

chiquitalu · #4 01-13-2006, 04:15 PM

(((HUGS))) My heart is out to you. Like others said, Do what you think is right.

pebbles98 · #5 01-13-2006, 05:18 PM

Missing him doesnt make u a weak person. it just means you truly did love him. Only time will heal all wounds. Its a slow process so dont rush yourself. One thing i do recommend is dont read his letters. Save them until you are stronger. I did the same thing and it helped. I read some of my exes letters and it would hurt me but eventually they just went from he mailbox to the trash. Im not 100% over him but i know now that i can live without him in my life. Stay strong being without him is much better than sharing him with someone else.

Pebbles

No More Tears · #6 01-14-2006, 12:26 AM

I am going through a similar catastrophe. Grrl, just know that it does hurt but only for a while. As strong as you were to break it off, you are stronger to endure the pain (which eases up). Of course you must follow your heart, however, you must protect it also.

Your X betrayed what you hold dear- your heart. If you were to give it to him again what would happen? You don't need a man to justify your reasons for existing. At least not him anyway.

PS: Some men can change although I don't know of any

California Sunshine · #7 01-14-2006, 12:31 AM

I hear and feel ya believe me I do!
Hang in there honey (((HUGS)))

drsl4ever · #8 03-19-2006, 02:25 AM

Hey girl, I'm going through the same thing, you love him so much but you don't like him at all. It takes a strong woman to realize you just can't do it anymore, oh it hurts I can't believe how much sometimes but, it does get a little better each day hang in there we can get threw this!

**Patty** · #9 03-19-2006, 02:43 AM

Your feelings are completely normal. It takes time to get over a failed relationship and believe me he failed you not the other way around. I know a time will come when the pain will lessen and you will begin to heal. That time is coming please know that.

Hugggz,
Patty

Helen · #10 03-19-2006, 04:04 AM

It's perfectly understandable how you are feeling. I've been there - the breakup was for a different reason - but that makes no difference. It has only been a short time since you broke up with him and you need to give yourself time to grieve for the relationship.
If I were you, I would tear up any letters from him without even opening them, or even send them back unopened. As long as you are reading his pleas for forgiveness you aren't able to heal.
Good luck.

taylormade · #11 03-22-2006, 08:25 AM

i know exactly how you feel. i miss lee out of control!! and that doesn't make us weak. we were/are in love with these men. and thats ok. we just need to pick up the pieces and do what WE feel is right. Let NO ONE judge you babe! really. you'll know the right think to do! BIG HUGS!!!

DaveMoff · #12 03-22-2006, 09:34 PM

I don't see you as weak in any respect. The heart is a fragile thing, and when entrusted to another's care, proves so terribly fragile when that trust turns out to be misplaced. You are human, fully and completely, and you honor this forum with your presence.

Should anyone ever come up with a surefire cure for a broken heart, that person will no doubt receive a Nobel Prize and sainthood in short order. Until then, what can we do but be strong, for ourselves and for those we may not even know of yet, but who will in time come into our lives in some incredibly special way? That, too, is part of being human--perhaps the best part, the rose which blooms above the thorns.

tytyz · #13 03-23-2006, 06:33 PM

Wow
what Im going through is
exactly the same thing
except it's been 10 months.
I changed my numbers so he can not call. I'm afraid to write because he may not want to be bothered
anymore. As the time goes by I love and miss him more.

mybabycl · #14 03-24-2006, 08:22 PM

Nothing is wrong with you at all. It's hard just keep the failth.