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NowHisWife · #1 02-10-2006, 10:12 PM

If there was a "Inmate's Wife/Girlfriend Code of Ethics" List what are the top codes you feel MUST be in there????

msmecca · #2 02-11-2006, 12:04 AM

1)Integrity-

Being honest and trustworthy fosters a trusting and loving relationship even in times of disagreements. This can also help to maintain the friendship that is needed to make a relationship last.

missvee1014 · #3 02-11-2006, 12:09 AM

2- Honesty,

TO be truthful, always telling the truth, portraying what is real and concrete

Tulip · #4 02-11-2006, 12:25 AM

3 Respect
There will be issues that need addressing, but do so respectfully.

LovingYou · #5 02-11-2006, 12:47 AM

4. courtesy
If your relationship fails, do not feel the need to date another inmate at his facility.

haswtch · #6 02-11-2006, 05:13 AM

Reliability. keep your promises or have a real good reason why you were unable to.

Ravenslove · #7 02-11-2006, 05:43 AM

Faithful

nightbird · #8 02-11-2006, 05:53 AM

Don't Play Games. This is not a game to the inmate you are involved with,

cryinblueeyes · #9 02-11-2006, 06:01 AM

Good answers girls...
I have to say support, it's a biggie, they need lots of support to get them through! And they need reassurance that you love them unconditionally and stay by them the whole way!

mel2020 · #10 02-11-2006, 07:20 AM

Learn:

-to be creative. You'll need to learn how to make Christmas and Valentine's Day and all the other "special" days special without your presence or lavish gifts! *L*

-to follow the prisoner's codes. It may seem silly to us, but its important in there. If he asks you to NOT do something, there's probably a good reason so roll with it.

-to let go of the hurt. Wallowing in the loneliness and misery only makes the days crawl by. You can still enjoy your days until he gets home to help you enjoy them more. Its hard, but helpful!

-to take care of you. Since your other half is no longer able to pamper you, learn how to pamper yourself, take care of yourself, help yourself. Did he always check the oil? Do it yourself! He'll do it when he's home, but he'll blow a gasket to know you've done it yourself!

**LeBeau** · #11 02-11-2006, 07:44 AM

Know yourself...your bounderies, your needs, your abilities, your assets, and do not offer more than you know you can deliver. If you find that something changes, be up front about that, whether it is a purely practical thing like your hours at work got reduced for a few months so you can't send as much $$ as you have been or something more emotionally centered, like it's beginning to hurt to write everyday and you need to dial it back to every other day... TELL HIM, don't make him wonder what's going on.

**Crone** · #12 02-11-2006, 08:38 AM

Acceptance

tuttles · #13 02-11-2006, 09:07 AM

make it unconditional, if it is really love and worth it, there should be no "rules", accept him for who he is, and don't try to make him something he is not, because even though he may try, he can not maintain it if it is not from his heart.

nickave27 · #14 02-11-2006, 09:10 AM

I agree with all of these. I would like to add communication.

JohnBrandi4life · #15 02-11-2006, 09:35 AM

Good Listener~~~brandi

JJsPenPal · #16 02-11-2006, 10:02 AM

Don't sweat the small stuff.

NowHisWife · #17 02-11-2006, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by haswtch

Reliability. keep your promises or have a real good reason why you were unable to.

Yes...Reliability is BIG for me. If I know it's something I may not follow through with I NEVER promise. And the when I do PROMISE I find my self going crazy to make sure that I bring forth whatever that thing is to the best of my ability.

YES RELIABILITY is HUGE for me as well haswatch....

NowHisWife · #18 02-11-2006, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by msmecca

1)Integrity-

Being honest and trustworthy fosters a trusting and loving relationship even in times of disagreements. This can also help to maintain the friendship that is needed to make a relationship last.

Integrity...Very Important. And msmecca, I think when you look at most of these type of relationships that do last you'll see that the friendship factor was BIG...

litilady · #19 02-11-2006, 12:40 PM

choose your battles wisely

don't make an extensive argument out of something that won't matter in ten years. if it needs to be said say it don't dwell on it.

have the ability to see his potential and help him rise above the stuff his done.

haswtch · #20 02-11-2006, 03:27 PM

Be slow to anger. We are the only people it is safe for them to vent to. Not saying take abuse, but listen to a certain amount of whining and grousing with your HEART and don't be too quick to fling it right back.

HEISMYANGEL · #21 02-11-2006, 05:30 PM

Being as positive as possible and having a sense of humor. Many time we are the onlt people that can make them laugh

Amy_N_Eric · #22 02-11-2006, 06:35 PM

Understanding --- Understand that you are lonely but he has it worse. You can atleast leave the house and deal with it... he can only sit in his cell and dwell.

AaronsBeautiful · #23 02-11-2006, 06:39 PM

Not to cheat on your mate be a friend to him as well as his woman. If you must cheat tell him be honest at all times with your mate. if you must get with someone do not get with someone in the same prison as him.

NowHisWife · #24 02-12-2006, 10:35 AM

One thing I want to add:

I think True Committment (a decision) is also key.

You have to make a decision to be there. And in the beginning (or now) decide what you will or just can't live with. And only let those things "break" your committment. I say this because the strength of your committment can move like the wind if you don't make the decision before an uneasy situation happens.

Then let him know you are committed to this whole thing and not just him.

somissingmylove · #25 02-12-2006, 11:18 AM

patience
This is one I didn't see on the list. So I say patience with them, with ourselves, with the people that don't understand the situation cause their not in it.