Prison Visitation - Things NOT to Do Inside the Walls

[babygirlk]

When I went for my visit monday it was my first and the things I seen them doing in that room. My guy and I was at the vending machine and one of his friends walked up and was talking to him. I asked him what did he say. He told him he would block us if he wanted to get a quickie. But he told him she has pants on. But it did go thru my mind. What are yall comments on that. I'm up and down with it. I don't know weather to try it or not. One side saying no the horney side saying yes lol. Can I hear everyone comment on this. Who has tried it and who hasn't and what was the outcome.

[tab0576]

DON'T DO IT!!!! Just cause he maybe blocking the CO's that are in the room, there are also camera's that all over. Why risk having to go 6 months to a year with suspended visitation and him going to the hole, but that is up to you.

[empress007]

I agree don't do it

[johnnysmom52]

Oh lord-don't do it. It wouldn't be worth the risk, cause then they could and probably would ban you for future visits. Better to just go by the rules-isn't that what we tell our guys to do?

[Sambos_Girl]

Originally Posted by babygirlk

When I went for my visit monday it was my first and the things I seen them doing in that room. My guy and I was at the vending machine and one of his friends walked up and was talking to him. I asked him what did he say. He told him he would block us if he wanted to get a quickie. But he told him she has pants on. But it did go thru my mind. What are yall comments on that. I'm up and down with it. I don't know weather to try it or not. One side saying no the horney side saying yes lol. Can I hear everyone comment on this. Who has tried it and who hasn't and what was the outcome.

The last thing you want to do is lose your vistitation over someting like that. i don't know your man's situation and when he's getting out, but it will be better in the long run if you would just wait.

[str8]

i got my visits suspended for a year because he and i talked about photos' on the phone with a green background, (like you take in clubs, we choose green cause it's my favorite color, and the kids decorated it with FREE ---- and all thier names in glitter, cause i couldnt afford to pay someone to airbrush one) so i went to visit him, got stopped, strip searched, they searched my car, and questioned me, went and told him a bunch of lies and threw him in confinement for 30 days...... it's messed up cause im the only one that was going weekly or every other week, i'd take his boys with me.... so they pretty much cut off all his visits....

[SexyChef1]

Got mine suspended for showing my shoes...I was escorted out by the Warden for exposing myself...geesh I would have felt better if Id really done it...but its not WORTH IT ...DONT DO IT!

[belovedgurl]

This is my first time posting to this site, which I came across while surfing the net for travel and visiting information. I am finding it to be tremendously informative! Thanks so much, Administrator! I must say though from what I've read so far in this post, I am somewhat paranoid about visiting my friend. We recently reconnected a year ago, but prior to then we had not communicated in nearly 30 years. I was planning to visit sometime between the latter part of March and mid April. We are both very excited about this visit. However, I would hate to travel all that distance, D.C. area to Oregon, only to be turned away or asked to leave on a technicality not of my doing.

I really don't want to disappoint him, but I have no prior experience with prison visiting and am not feeling good about this at all.

[tigrldy]

belovedgurl, don't be that paranoid. As someone mentioned be polite, demure and you should be fine. I have been visiting for about a year and a half. I've seen people have a little problem with clothes so dress very conservatively, nothing see through, extra tight or sleeveless. Some places do an ion scan so be careful what you touch going in, some have you walk through a metal detector (that's what we have). I've heard of underwire bras setting them off, belts are not allowed usually. Take extra tops with you in case of a problem. Have ID with you, we are required to have two pieces.

Check out the Oregon forum and there may be details there of what you can and can't do where he is and finally before it is time for you to go as a final suggestion call the prison and ask. I have had good luck doing that and for the most part they are glad to answer because it beats someone in their face upset.

I've never been a witness to anyone having their visitation cut short because of inappropriate activity. I know it does happen but it is not as common as it would appear because unfortunately not everyone has found this forum for support.

Enjoy your visit.

[Tyra]

Ready these stories sends a chill down my back on how close we could have come. my Husband & I went to visit our son in Washington State. We stopped to drop our 11 month old off at my cousin's in the same town before we went to the prison. Now we don't do ANY illegal drugs. We are foster parents and neither my husband nor myself have ever done illegal drugs. On this visit the drug dog was making his rounds in the previsitation area. Suddenly he dropped at my feet meaning drugs. This was not our 1st visit to this facility and we knew all the intake CO's by first name. The CO's took us in the back away from the other visitors and then did a though search of our person. From there we had to go to our car with the CO's and the drug dog. They searched our car and the dog hit on a tin Altoids can that my husband had used as an ashtray when we stopped on the way to the prison. (We are so conscience of laws he always carry something to put his cigarette butts in so we don't throw them on the ground.) Not finding anything in our car nor on us the CO's were satisfied we were clean and allowed us to return to go into our visit.
After the visit we went to retrieve our 11 month old at my cousin's and told them about our experience of being searched. Come to find out my cousin's had smoked some pot the weekend before our arrival with some friends of theirs and they dropped the butt on the ground. it is a good possiblity that either my husband or I had walked over it and the smell was enough to set the drug dog. Why the dog picked up on the Altoid Can was explained away by the dog handler. She said they train their dogs with containers such as these and the sight of the can could have set the dog. None the less we never drop by my cousin's before a visit anymore and we have never had a problem with the dog since. We were shocked but understand how highly trained these dogs are.

[nycbella24]

I travel from New York all the way to Iowa to see my loved one and this was my 3rd visit. I was sitting right next to him and i had my hand on his leg and his hand was on top of mine. I saw nothing wrong with this especially in I.S.P. when u r getting to close they let u know or at least warn u. well i got up to go to the bathroom and when i returned to my mans the CO said that our visit has been terminated... i didnt even get an explanation to why we were even being terminated. Since i live so far i made a great friend who picks me up at the hotel and we go to the visits together. When i was terminated she was still in there and had more than 2 hours left so i tried to call a cab but had no service. when i asked 1 of the COs to use a phone she said no so i decided to wait for my friend...not even 5 min of me patiently and quietly waiting they told me i had to leave the prison grounds and there is a pay phone i could use down the street. i pleaded with them explaining that i just had back surgery, it was 3 degrees out, i had no jacket and i wasnt from here. they couldnt care less, all they cared about was that my visit was terminated.
They threw him into lock-up and took me off his visiting list before he even got to see a judge to find him guilty or not. This to me doesnt seem fair but i guess thats what prison is all about and like it or not sometimes we are doing the time with them.
I have never been so mistreated especially after being nothing but kind and respectful to the staff at I.S.P. If anyone has any opinions on what i should do please contact me im lost.
**A WARNING TO ANYONE VISITING AN INMATE IN IOWA STATE PEN.**
BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL!! EVEN IF YOU THINK ITS OK OR HARMLESS THEY WONT....LADIES GOOD LUCK

[jwjgirl]

HOLY COW!!!! I haven't seen my Husband for 11 months . He is on Transit to Taft CI in CA. I am terrified about the visit. I feel like I'll be sitting there like a mummy just so I don't get in trouble. What kind of visit is that?!?!? NO this ~NO that~ NO nothing!!! Can we breathe???????????

[tab0576]

nycbella24...I would write to the Warden and ask for an explanation. I would also tell him/her your situation about how you were treated. There is no reason why you should have been treated in that manner. I was and still am so angry over what I read. I came up positive after an ION scan, and wrote to the Company that oversees the jail. (He's still in county, and it is privately run by The GEO Group). The lotion I wore has a chemical in it that they do test for. They wouldn't let me clean my hands and re test me. I was embarrassed and totally pissed off. You need to follow up on this. It was totally inhumane.

[ashnluvwitviv]

I love cliches and i try to live by them...my favorite is if u do what u always done u always will get what u always got learn by your mistakes they happen. Avoid doing them again, then they won't be accidental.

Originally Posted by Lysbeth

Terminated visitation indefinitely. Visits suspended for (X amount of) months. Warnings, warnings, and more warnings...

Since I became a member of PTO, these are stories I and others here have heard over and over and OVER again. This "Sticky" is being added as a permanent part of the Visitation Forum to give PTO Members a place to post comments and stories of things NOT to do inside of the prison walls.

Many things that we may do and think them innocent, or not harmful, at the time may come back to "bite" you or your loved one in prison. Many times these actions will result in visits being terminated and/or cancelled for long periods of time.

Now, it’s true that some of our Members have lost their visits due to circumstances beyond their control, such as being erroneously targeted by a drug dog, being incorrectly tagged as someone bringing contraband items into a prison, or being accused of doing something in the visiting yard that they were not. Those were unfortunate circumstances and, again, beyond anyone’s control.

Yet many MORE of the stories we hear on PTO are from people who have had, or who know of those who have had, their visits terminated indefinitely or suspended due to inappropriate visiting room conduct, taking contraband into the visiting room or yard, and other things that WERE in their control, that were choices THEY made. There have been accidents too, such as a Member who found visits suspended simply due to a loved one’s accidental brushing of a body part with another body part during an embrace… things like that can, and do, happen. And things like losing visits due to actions knowingly made that are against the prison rules definitely do happen.

Here’s the bottom line on visitation and the rules that surround it. When you break the rules in the visitation yard or room, you are not only risking your own visits and taking a chance on making things harder for you when it comes to visiting, but you are also potentially making things harder on everyone else who goes to visit at that prison.

Case in point – there’s been some recent discussion about inmates making holes in their pockets before going into the visitation area. Thanks to someone at the prison where I visit doing the same thing, and getting caught, I now have to wait an extra minute or two for my loved one to come out to see me at visitation, because now they check ALL the inmates’ pockets before they go out to the visiting yard. Yeah, it may be just an extra minute or two – but that’s still an extra minute or two that I don’t get to spend with my loved one. I resent that I lose that extra minute or two with my loved one simply because someone else chose to break the rules.

We all are expected to abide by the same set of rules at whatever prison we visit. Those that break the rules and get caught wind up making it harder for everyone who visits that prison. The bottom line is it doesn’t really matter which prison you visit – just because you may not visit the same prison I do, if you’re violating the rules where you go, then you’re making it harder for someone who visits there... and that someone may be yourself, as well as others.

Those that break the rules may get away with it for a while, maybe even indefinitely. And then again there may come a day when some CO who always looked the other way in the past might just decide to make an example of you… and BAM! Your visits are gone, and you may be spending what used to be your visitation days here on PTO, wishing you could get your visits back. It could happen… and we have many PTO members who can share their stories to prove that it DOES happen.

And that’s the reason for this message thread. We here at PTO would love to NEVER hear another story of someone losing their visits again, because we’ve heard it over and over and over and OVER again. The simple fact is that we HAVE heard those stories time and time again, and it DOES happen. We’re not out to shove opinions down anyone’s throat; we simply want to help our Members understand what can, and often does, happen. Our hope is for everyone at PTO to be able to have happy, trouble-free visiting for however long their loved ones are incarcerated!!

Many stories have been posted on PTO in the past that tell of bad situations stemming from behavior in the visiting rooms/yards or taking contraband in, and probably more regarding visitation that aren’t occurring to me at the moment. Other stories may not have been told to date. This is going to be the place to post those cautionary tales.

What this is NOT going to be is a thread for debate or argument over the issues – any such post will be removed from the thread. We simply want those stories – “visitation gone wrong”, if you will – posted here to remain for all new and existing PTO members to be able to read and learn from now and in the future.

If you or someone you know has had visits suspended, or terminated indefinitely, due to things like this, or even just gotten a little too close with a warning or two, PLEASE post your story here. Even if you’ve posted your story on PTO in the past, please post it again here in this thread.

Let's help new and existing PTO Members understand the outcome of certain actions. Let's create a thread here of all the things NOT to do when it comes to visitation, and share our experiences and knowledge.

Now turning the table over to you, PTO, collectively – go for it, we’re all ears…

[p.i.t.a.]

I have never had my visit terminated, but I have had two warnings. I was resting my head on his shoulder and the CO told him I couldn't do that. At Elkton we are allowed to hold hands during the visits. One time I had my hand on his lower arm instead and we were told that was not allowed. I am very careful not to do anything that would get our visit treminated as I travel from Colorado to Ohio to see him and only get to see him a couple of times a year. Also, just to make others aware that there are certain colors you are not allowed to wear for visits. At Elkton you can not wear red or orange. If you do, you will be denied visitation. Also, no sleeveless shirts even if you are wearing a shirt over it. One more warning is to wear closed toe shoes, no sandles are allowed. These are all things I have seen people turned away for. People don't always know ahead of time what they can and can't wear and I know it is heartbreaking when you are denied over something small.

[mahog]

I had my visit terminated because my husband forgot to remove one of the two rings he wears on his left hand. In Georgia State Prison at Reidsville, Ga. the inmate can only wear a religous pendant and one ring. I was devastated. You have to be really careful at this prison. They let you do something for months, then change their policy without you knowing it and you get a warning of termination for what you have always been allowed to do. They are not consistant with enforcing or letting the visitor know what to expect. My husband was allowed to hold the grandchildren for over a year and a half, and now, starting February 2nd, with our regular visit, he can no longer hold our two year old and four year old. One day you can arrive at the prison 15 minutes early, and the next visit, you can't come on property til 5 minutes before visiting hours. This really makes it hard on us visiting. It should be the same all the time. If you call the prison for clarification, you are told your loved one knows the rules and he should tell you.

[itsme62]

Sad isn't it one innocent move unintentional move and busted!

[ArsensBrat]

This past weekend My sister & I went with my mom to visit an old friend of ours at Pleasant Valley State Prison. As soon as we walked in the CO lady looked at my mom didnt even let her get to the counter to give her id and she said "no-no your outfit wont do those jeans ur wearing although they are black they look blue with the top ur wearing so u have to go change." Then my sister and i were checked by the same male CO had me turn around lift up my sweater & told me that my pants were too tight, what I was wearing was (red velour pants) then he made my sister do the same thing & he said her black slacks were to tight....to make long story short we went to change in hospitality & found addtional black slackes put them on & i kid u not they were tighter on our behind than our original pants we had on, and we were approved to go in...go figure??? Then my mom comes back in she had changed into white pants & the same female CO had her change again.....I dont understand why the CO treat the visitors of inmates so horrible & wrongfully!!
Is there anything we can do to stop them from treating us like crap?? And why are we treated this way by them???

[lorenicole]

Originally Posted by withoutedward

At Centinela State Prison in Imperial, CA, I was told that an inmate had his visit terminated because during a photo taken with his picture ducket, he and his girl were kissing in the photo. This was a big no-no since you are allowed a kiss and embrace at the beginning and end of each visit.

That's crazy! It's just a kiss gosh.

[Marsha_Lopez1]

If I have a cold and have been taking zicam and musinex and all kinds of cold medacine but nothing prescription....so will i test posative for drugs on that ionic or whatever hand scanner thingy? please someone let me know cause I am supposed to fly all the way up there on saturday

[VanillaSky]

My husband is still at county till he gets transfered...so they are no contact visits.

Well ive been realy sick and was coughing and he made a comment that he has never seen them clean the phones in between visits and the little mouth marks were someone else had kissed the window were still there from our visit 2 weeks before and thats how i could of got sick.....so i lifted the bottom of my shirt to wipe off the phone and accidentally flashed my husband and the gaurd....they almost made me leave. The gaurd started laughing cuz it was very obvious i was very embarased and did not meant to do it...he told me to bring in some kleenex next time.

[Broken2013]

My husband was just transfered from county jail In Pompano Florida, though my visit there was behind glass the CO'c there were great to both me and my daughter. Previously he was housed in West Palm Beach the CO's there treated us with do dignity nor respect. Now he's at the reception center in Miami apparently I cannot visit unless his stay there is for more than 4 weeks. Until then he will not be given visitation forms. So I dont know how long it will be before I see him again

[pineapple]

Originally Posted by Broken2013

My husband was just transfered from county jail In Pompano Florida, though my visit there was behind glass the CO'c there were great to both me and my daughter. Previously he was housed in West Palm Beach the CO's there treated us with do dignity nor respect. Now he's at the reception center in Miami apparently I cannot visit unless his stay there is for more than 4 weeks. Until then he will not be given visitation forms. So I dont know how long it will be before I see him again

hang in there
maybe a call there will let you know how long his stay will be

[dee1981]

I'm reading this thread and getting really scared. I'm visiting my guy for the first time in years....we've just re-connected. I'm soooo scared about being sent away. I'm shopping for wire-less bras; was planning on a sports bra but read here that could be considered a tank top. What is with this "ionic" thing? Will perfume make it go off? What about make-up? Dress code? Can you wear sandals or do you have to wear socks with close toed shoes?
It sounds like a set up to make the men crazy by sending the family/visitors away without a real reason. Does anyone have experiences at RayBrook in NY? Thanks for anything that will ease my worries.

[PTO-92958]

Originally Posted by dee1981

I'm reading this thread and getting really scared. I'm visiting my guy for the first time in years....we've just re-connected. I'm soooo scared about being sent away. I'm shopping for wire-less bras; was planning on a sports bra but read here that could be considered a tank top. What is with this "ionic" thing? Will perfume make it go off? What about make-up? Dress code? Can you wear sandals or do you have to wear socks with close toed shoes?
It sounds like a set up to make the men crazy by sending the family/visitors away without a real reason. Does anyone have experiences at RayBrook in NY? Thanks for anything that will ease my worries.

If you're visiting in NY, I would suggest you come on down into the NY forum where you find answers to all your visiting questions.
Here is the link:
NY DOC - What You Need to Know

Welcome! And ease your mind, Hun. We're here for ya.