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lovingmydad · #**601** 10-10-2008, 12:32 PM

I think that these officers or even TDCJ think they can do whatever they want and they do until they get caught!wWell get this.I have been going to see my dad every weekend since February of this year(he got moved closer)there has been times that I have gone by myself or with my children or with other memebers of my family.I went to visit him one weekend Sept 20 to be exact and was told that I was taken off his list by the warden the reason they said was because soppossedly an officer said he witnessed a kiss between my dad and I to be inappropriate.I was so shocked an upset yet trying to contain myself...I asked to speak to someone else to find out what I do next , the officer told me that the only person I could talk to would be the wardens office Monday through Friday.....So I called the wardens Office and talked to his secretary and I had to expain this and she told me the only thing I could do was write the Directors Review Committee and gave me the address.I asked where did this officer get this insuation that I had an inappropriate kiss and what day did this soppossedly happen, she told me she wasnt privledge to give me that information that all she could say was that obviously they have the information they need to take you off like they did....I have never delt with these kind of people in my life and am so shocked to be accused by this.In the mean time my dad new that if I didnt show up something was wrong cause I always show up or someone in my family does.He was able to call me two days later and I told him what they all said.He has since talked with this Warden and the warden said to him he would get back to him on this, my dad has written twice to the warden requesting information on this accusation and also wrote to the Directors Review Committee and all he was able to find out was this officers name and a date this officer suppossedly witnessed this but no other specifics.You have to understand my dad and I are close-Best Friends even.He has always been affectionate with me but also with other family members.Whenever we would have a contact visit he always hugs me close and kissed my lips but not to the point where it was lewd or inappropriate.The visitation rules obviously they were NOT going by because in the rule book it states that you can kiss and hug before and after visiting .There was NO WARNING that anything ever was done-nothing-didnt even no anything was done wrong until that day I tried to see him on Sept 20.I feel like I have been ridiculed for something that is normal for us when showing affection.How dare they take me off his list as if I had done something so nasty as kissing my father inappropriately.I am just heartbroken and I feel like an outsider.Since all this as I stated before he has written to the warden and to this review committee but has yet to hear from anyone.Another thing I might say is that the date this soppossedly happend was 3 weeks prior(so Aug 23) to the Sept 20th date that I tried to go and see him and I got notice in writing from the warden Sept 22-doesnt make since....its just not fair!

jessica2190 · #**602** 10-15-2008, 11:46 AM

I went with my daughter to visit my husband at a Federal Satellite location, and I took great care to wear loose fitting clothes, and removing the underwire from my bra. When I went through the metal detector, it went off, and the female CO told me it was from the metal clasps on the back of my bra. She told me that next time I need to have all the clasps I do not use removed from my bra. The next morning, the problem happened again - we slept at a hotel the night before, (so what was I supposed to remove metal clasps from my bra with?!) and of course the detector went off again. The same female CO was there, and she started to berate me and said, "How could you come back here with the same problem? You are lucky this time I will let you in. If it were a male officer he would not understand, and he wouldnt let you in!"
I never knew bra clasps would cause such a commotion. I was so concerned about getting the underwire out of my bra, that I didnt even consider the clasps. I also had read several posts that said sports bras were not Ok, so I was just doing my best! So, I hope this is helpful to someone else out there as a preventative measure of those dangerous bras...!

don'twanttowait · #**603** 10-19-2008, 07:38 PM

Can someone please tell me what you can and can't do at visits and how long it takes to see your loved one??

piratewench98 · #**604** 10-25-2008, 02:14 PM

Well if you're in North Carolina and you have outside visitation and you decide to wear a jacket or coat because the weather is chilly or it's raining a little bit, for heaven's sake DON'T TAKE IT OFF. I experienced this just this morning. Where we have our visitation is a covered area with a bunch of picnic tables. One of the guys had worn his coat out but then took it off and had it laying next to him on the bench. My honey had done the same thing...put his coat next to him on the opposite side from where I was sitting. The CO came by and said "if you brought it out put it on or go back inside." Then he got on the guy next to us because he had taken his off and let his wife sit on it because the benches were a little bit wet from the rain. When he told this to the CO in a way I thought was very nice and respectful, the CO jumped all over him "well it's policy! If you don't like it take it up with the state." Everybody around was like dang, what is that guys problem, you know? So as the guy sitting next to us was putting his coat back on, he looked at his wife, shrugged and said "stupid, I know." Well the CO must have heard him because he jumped all over him again. He was all "Come here! I heard what you said, get over here!" The guy responded that he was just talking to his wife and the CO says "yeah but you were talking about me so get over here now." Luckily they got to finish their visit but he's probably going to get a write up.
I mean, he was talking about the policy when he said "stupid" not the CO. And it IS stupid. At least in my opinion. Maybe I'm just not devilish enough to figure out how a guy taking off his coat and setting it behind him is a security risk. And god forbid a man try to be a gentleman and make his wife a little more comfortable! Sheesh.

rubygirl01 · #**605** 11-14-2008, 01:10 AM

if i go visit someone in the men's central jail and i don't have any warrants but i do have an unpaid ticket will they keep me

Impatient1 · #**606** 11-15-2008, 02:01 AM

at least I don't believe they will. You would have to have an active warrant to be arrested i think. Lots of people have unpaid tickets if you think about it. you might want to call the jail and double check though.

minx · #**607** 11-18-2008, 12:23 AM

They will stop you from visiting if your unpaid tickets have turned to bench warrants. My friend was booted for that.

canoslady · #**608** 12-31-2008, 08:20 PM

I am also one of the women who got there visits suspended for a very very long time (they called it getting disapproved) for believing that i could be as lucky as the next woman was. I was the type of person that whenever i was asked to do something that i knew was against the rules i would tell my fiance that i didnt want to lose my visits for something so petty. I saw him for a whole year problem free, but the one time that i decided to break the rules on x-mas, was the biggest mistake i could have done the choice that i made was something that i thought i could get away with. I was wrong i decided to alter my pants making them crotchless, and i had one pic exposing my boobs but not completely, this was the only time that i have ever done something like this, i heard so many stories from other women that i thought it would be easy to be spontaneous. Never in my wildest dreams would i had thought that i would become a random search, there was no turning back, the way that i was searched "cavity searched" was humiliating and degrating but i proved that i wasnt smuggling anything in, but when she saw my pants and found the pic. My visits were terminated indefinetly, he is a lifer and now with no visits i will never get to see him again for something that i thought was petty, I had no first time warnings nothing it was a random search on the very first time i decided to take a chance. Ladies if you love your men dont take any chances. I didnt get to see him and i never got to say goodbye. I miss him so much i used to see him every sunday and i allowed that to be taken from me for not thinking twice. I cant blame anyone but myself, and now i cant take anything back. So please no matter how much you love your man, obey the rules no matter how much we think they are ridiculous. I just thank god that i got a chance to drive back home to my kids, some of these other women go straight to jail and never make it back home. Learn from my experience. I never gave them any reason to randomly search me, i never got warnings in the visiting area for excessive contact, and i was never vulgar when we said goodbye. But the reality of it its prison and when you enter their premises you do become an inmate yourself. Good luck ladies. And hold on to what you have because it will end in a heartbeat.

tlopez · #**609** 01-04-2009, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by runt

Ok heres one for you. this is so stupid i cannot help but to laugh. My three year old daughter ( anyone with kids knows how a 3 year old can be) threw a tantrum in the visiting room. she was over tired and we left. after we left a c/o told dave that if she threw another fit in the visiting room our visits would be suspended for 90 days for the inability to parent a child. go figure! you are not allowed to discipling them in ANY way under the watchful eye of candid camera. but yet when they act up you get into trouble too. Our solution to this was/ is I get her a nap before we go. and also if she is showing signs of crankiness i try to maybe find a sitter. or take her and if she gets cranky leave. Luckily I live in the sam town ( 2 blocks away) and see him Very often. but to terminate visits on the account of a TODDLER CRYING is just plain INSANE!
~Kristina~

the same happened to me and my 2 yr old, maybe if they'd let us take a cuppie in or a couple crackers they wouldnt get so cranky, unfortunatly i live more than 2 blocks away..

MOTHUGzWiFEy · #**610** 01-04-2009, 11:47 PM

i juss want to thank everyone on here for sharing their stories! i haven't gone to see my hubby yet due to our newborn but i will as soon as my daughter hits 4 months. This website gives me a lot of heads up in the future and i hope to remember all the tips. God Bless & Stay Strong!

tibs · #**611** 01-05-2009, 01:21 AM

While visiting this past summer, apparently a relationship ended, the lady threw her ring in the garbage and stormed out of the visiting room crying and cussing... so there was some commotion when the prisoner was escorted to the front by four co's and handed a pair of rubber gloves I really did not know what was going on at that moment, (it was unnerving) but later realized that they had him retrieve the ring, by removing every piece of garbage in the trash. He was noticeably shaken and probably embarrassed too, after he found the ring before being taken out the photographer (prisoner as well) started making a scene in an apparent attempt to console/advise him, yelling hey man, just say whatever she wants to hear man, it don't matter, just do what you gotta do etc. etc. etc. his comments where unnecessary and not really appreciated. It was as if he couldn't tell he was just making the situation worse, and upsetting the guards as well, I thought they were going to make us all leave... I just wanted him to shut up. When he ( the photographer did not get the attention he was seeking... he finally settled... he seemed more upset then the prisoner who lost his women). Anyway they both the men were taken out and thankfully our visit was not terminated. Oh how I hate DRAMA!!!

tinhsv · #**612** 01-06-2009, 03:43 PM

Gosh! Ya'll have me terrified...what if my hug is to tight or too long or my kiss is too long.....? And what drugs are they scanning for, I take seizure meds and I'm now nervous about that.

jonsgirlallday · #**613** 01-07-2009, 01:05 PM

Ok Ok I scared now. I real scared now. Ha ha, thanks ladies for all the warnings, its good to know as I get prepared for my man to go to prison.

fidelsgirl · #**614** 01-08-2009, 03:53 PM

My man and I take extra care not to do anything they could take an transferring anything. We don't touch above the wrists and we don't let our feet touch. My ankle was itching really bad one day and he told me to scratch it with the other foot, not with my hand cuz they would think I am taking something out of my shoe.
Even with being so careful, there have been many times when they single him out for strip search afterwards. It has gotten to the point that we laugh about it and I mentioned the next time he should start humming the macarena while stripping down and start dancing for them! It's turned into the joke where as afterward we visit now, I ask him if he had to do a dance for them. It's easier to put it in a joke than to focus on how degrading it is.

bghfairy · #**615** 01-12-2009, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prisonwife1965

My husband is at Desoto correctional Institution in Arcadia, Florida. They allow inmates to hang out with other inmate visitors while the person that came to visit them sits alone. They allow them to kiss and hug other women not in their visit. This caused me my marriage because my husband left me for that woman that he was allowed to hug and kiss that was not in his visiting list.

My boyfriend is at the same prison and I'm going to see him for the first time in 7 months!!! and his first time seeing our 4 month old since he kept being moved around and the baby was too young....Do you have any visiting advice for me because all these stories have me really nervous

, but they seem pretty easy going if they let that crap fly with your ex...sorry about that anyway. you deserve better

scoopster · #**616** 01-21-2009, 09:04 PM

another thing they need to be aware of doing is using a cell phone, if found, cell phone records will catch them. I'm helping with a case, all he did was use it, made a couple calls to his girlfriend and mom, now visits are suspended indefinitely for 5 more years. Phone was smuggled in by staff member

ashley711 · #**617** 02-22-2009, 08:31 AM

I've only been to see my husband twice and the first visit was just awful for us. It had been 5 months since we had seen him and didnt know the rules or how anything worked. All the inmates have to sit at a certain side of the square table and there is only hugging/kissing allowed at the beg. and end of each visit and my 5 year old had a really hard time staying on his sided of the table and not being able to tickle and hug his daddy. He isn't allowed to hold his kids and the only time anything really got said to us is when i had the baby sitting on the table (w/ me holdig on to him of course). I had to stand outside for 45 minutes holding a squirmy 20 lb. baby then hold him the whole 2 hour visit, i was trying to relieve my arms some but nope not allowed. I'll be glad when he gets moved from max. to med. i'm so scared of losing my vsitation over something so small especially when i have 2 drive 3 hours w/ a 5 yo and an infant while pregnant. Thanks for the thread, gives me some ideas of what else to watch out for

truelove1101 · #**618** 02-24-2009, 02:07 PM

A girl I met while visiting my man got caught with weed in her purse in the car, and they charged her with trying to convey drugs even though she never brought it inside the prison, it was on the grounds. Now she has an indefinate suspension when originally they only told her she would be suspsended for 6 months.

B's wifey 4life · #**619** 03-01-2009, 03:47 PM

Just recently I had my first contact visit with my fiancee. Everything was going great. We bought snacks, I got to kiss and hug him.It was wonderful to just be with him, you know. Then he got thirsty and I didn't feel like going to the snack machine to get another pop.So he just took the one I was drinking from my lap. The next thing I know the guards came over and told him to go with them. I didn't know what was going on. He eventually came back within 5 minutes,we continued the visit. I didn't think nothing else of it, until I recived a letter stating that we were doing inapropriate things. If you know what I mean ,and that I could not have a contact visit with him for 6 months. I just dont know what we did wrong? So I would advise everyone to just go and get a pop, instead of being lazy.

acedthetest · #**620** 03-07-2009, 12:20 AM

I was sitting in my chair, and leaned forward to eat ...so my back wasn't physically on the back of the chair. My baby put his hand on my upper back shoulder area, and sure enough we got instantly terminated right there.

It was more of a reflex for him to touch me, but nope! They weren't having it...had to leave immediately.

Charlies'girl · #**621** 03-14-2009, 01:29 PM

I got suspeded for 6 MONTHS from corcoran 1. and here is a story that you all should hear....... i have visited A LOT. Every weekend for a long time. mostly, we had the same visiting guards every time, then came time where they switched all the guards around. we got new visiting gaurds.

i got comfortable in that visiting room, like a second home almost, staying all day long. well, i was sitting at the table, charlie was in the restroom, and i reached in the pockets of my coat. there was nothing in there exept some residue of whatever, you might call it dirt, pocket junk, whatever.

i like to go out into the mountains alot and im always picking up stuff like berries and seed pods, shit like that. putting in my pockets, you know....

so i bring some of this left over junk from what ever had been in my pockets before, and i put it on the table. ( it resembled brown sand, little peices of nothing) charlie came back and we was both sitting at the table. i had the junk out on the table and i pushed it around with my fingers.
Then, the gaurd started yelling at me " WHAT IS THAT?! STOP!! WHAT IS THAT!!?!?!"
i said, "It's Nothing!"
i pushed it around on the table to show him that it was just dirt.
the CO grabbed my wrist. i suppose he was afraid that i would brush the shit off the table, and the evidense would be lost forever.
he made us both stand up and he was yelling at us, saying i would be prosecuted for bringing in contraband.
he took the stuff and kept it on the a white peice of paper.
i told him to have it analyzed.
they did have it analyzed, and they found out that it was NOTHING after all.
But, LT. Smith suspended me for 6 months anyway! WTF?
they said i was trying to pass it to my sweetheart, and i was NOT, it was nothing anyway, so why the hell would i be trying to pass it?!?!?!

So anyway, that was back in october, and my 6 months will be up on April 13th. so now i have a question that i already posted on another thread.
They say that when your suspension is up, you have to send in another visiting form to be approved again. my sweetheart told me that i was never took off his visiting list. he said that if i apply again, they will deny me........Does anyone have any idea of how this really works?
thank you, peace

Mrs.760 · #**622** 03-15-2009, 06:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlies'girl

I got suspeded for 6 MONTHS from corcoran 1. and here is a story that you all should hear....... i have visited A LOT. Every weekend for a long time. mostly, we had the same visiting guards every time, then came time where they switched all the guards around. we got new visiting gaurds.

i got comfortable in that visiting room, like a second home almost, staying all day long. well, i was sitting at the table, charlie was in the restroom, and i reached in the pockets of my coat. there was nothing in there exept some residue of whatever, you might call it dirt, pocket junk, whatever.

i like to go out into the mountains alot and im always picking up stuff like berries and seed pods, shit like that. putting in my pockets, you know....

so i bring some of this left over junk from what ever had been in my pockets before, and i put it on the table. ( it resembled brown sand, little peices of nothing) charlie came back and we was both sitting at the table. i had the junk out on the table and i pushed it around with my fingers.
Then, the gaurd started yelling at me " WHAT IS THAT?! STOP!! WHAT IS THAT!!?!?!"
i said, "It's Nothing!"
i pushed it around on the table to show him that it was just dirt.
the CO grabbed my wrist. i suppose he was afraid that i would brush the shit off the table, and the evidense would be lost forever.
he made us both stand up and he was yelling at us, saying i would be prosecuted for bringing in contraband.
he took the stuff and kept it on the a white peice of paper.
i told him to have it analyzed.
they did have it analyzed, and they found out that it was NOTHING after all.
But, LT. Smith suspended me for 6 months anyway! WTF?
they said i was trying to pass it to my sweetheart, and i was NOT, it was nothing anyway, so why the hell would i be trying to pass it?!?!?!

So anyway, that was back in october, and my 6 months will be up on April 13th. so now i have a question that i already posted on another thread.
They say that when your suspension is up, you have to send in another visiting form to be approved again. my sweetheart told me that i was never took off his visiting list. he said that if i apply again, they will deny me........Does anyone have any idea of how this really works?
thank you, peace

Yes you do need to reapply and Im pretty sure your stipulation requires you to write a letter to the Warden too. Since your seeing Charles Manson and from what my husband has told me he gets special ASU visits you may have to do more to get them back. I would contact the Visiting SGT.

Charlies'girl · #**623** 03-16-2009, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 760tothe619

Yes you do need to reapply and Im pretty sure your stipulation requires you to write a letter to the Warden too. Since your seeing Charles Manson and from what my husband has told me he gets special ASU visits you may have to do more to get them back. I would contact the Visiting SGT.

actually he is back in PHU now.
for some reason i feel like the sgt and lt. don't like me......be it sex paranoia or whatever..
i need to find a balance,
i don't want them to screw me around, but i also don't want to make them mad!!! justice is so weak, i am getting stressed out about how to deal with this.

Mrs.760 · #**624** 03-18-2009, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlies'girl

actually he is back in PHU now.
for some reason i feel like the sgt and lt. don't like me......be it sex paranoia or whatever..
i need to find a balance,
i don't want them to screw me around, but i also don't want to make them mad!!! justice is so weak, i am getting stressed out about how to deal with this.

Have you contacted the ombudsman or the Warden?

DaveMoff · #**625** 03-20-2009, 01:31 AM

I once got chewed out because I waved at another prisoner who had a visit at the same time. Apparently, if you're not on someone's visitation list, you're supposed to pretend they aren't there.

Never have been denied a visit, though one time I was afraid I was going to be over, of all things, a ball point pen. I'd been following a map the entire morning and stuck the pen in my pocket as I always do. When I arrived at the prison and the officer came out to check me in, she noticed the pen right away and insisted I leave it in the car, along with a folded napkin I'd shoved in the same pocket.

As soon as I did that she said my car was pointed in the wrong direction and I'd have to move it. I complied. Then she said she had to search the car and on finding my map (a Yahoo printout), wanted to know why I had that. "That was how I found my way here", was all I could think of as a reply. She grunted and searched around some more. By the time she was through I was an hour late for my visit--thankfully, the guard running visitation stayed after working hours so I could have the full time allotted. I was quite grateful for that.

Must say, that's the only time I've had the slightest trouble being "processed" into Visitation. One time I was stuck for some time because their computer kept crashing, but that wasn't anybody's fault. And of course, I make sure to put away my pens before I go to the prison now.

It's hard to know what to expect....most of the officers I have encountered have been very professional, even friendly. But now and then you get one who is a bit full of him or herself and then all you can do is bite your tongue. They're going to give you a bad time just because they can and there's no point in giving them an excuse to take any formal action against you.