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HoneyBee4Me · #1 03-28-2006, 10:51 AM

I read through various forums and read so many posts about people's relationships and their undying love for their loved ones and I think... you know I was there at one point too....

A year ago, I thought nothing could come between me and my friend/husband/boyfriend and out of the clear blue sky... he walked out on us. I was committed to the entire thing, willing to work through everything and anything, but he gave up on us... although had there not have been someone to take my place right away, I'm sure he wouldn't have ran off so quickly. He wouldn't have left me otherwise.

At any rate, it saddens me that when we make it to this forum, we too had undying love and hopes and dreams and they really can come to an end, they really can be too good to be true.
And sometimes reading the other forums makes me want to give the others a reality check... yeah your relationship may last, but don't be naive in believing that it could never happen to you. That someone can't waltz into your relationship and do the same thing....

There are no guarantees in life.
Promises, hopes and dreams... but no guarantees.

iverske9 · #2 03-28-2006, 12:09 PM

I agree with you that what happened to you can happen to anyone...and I am sure there are alot of ladies on this site that have been burned (not just by men in prison) but I am more concerned with you and your tone. You need to not succumb to bitterness and let any man do that to you. I always try to remember that you have to go through the sh#*tty ones so that when you find the true love that completes you so perfect you know. Sounds so retarded but it will happen for you. This man is not the only one......I after being burned (not by a man in prison) definately made changes in my life to never let a man be the only thing in my life. I have a great family, amazing job, fun friends and I take dance classes, pottery, etc. You sound like an amazing caring woman and just remember you will find love. Don't give up on love but like you said don't go toally blind sided and always make sure that if for any reason he can't be there for you (by choice or not his own) you can take care of yourself. Good luck and go out with some of your girls and have a cocktail and laughs......

AmyLynn · #3 03-28-2006, 12:14 PM

True it could happen to anyone at anytime. but there are men and women who Love each other and would not let someone else step in the picture. I'm sorry that he caused you so much pain but the other woman did not get much of a catch cause he will more than likely do it to her all so. Their are some of us that could have used a realty check back in the day, but i walked out on my ex while he was locked up. really I should have been gone before he was ever locked up. There are story's that we all have but unless some one asks for a realty check it would not help anyone out. Cause just because our relationships did not work out does not mean that everyone else will not!!
Keep Your head up cause he did you a favor by leaving you!!!

HeSoHandsome · #4 03-28-2006, 03:29 PM

HoneyBee HoneyBee HoneyBee, girl you said a mouthful. I tries to let them know, sharing some of my own experiences, and even some of the c.o.s (like my boo-boo mrschris) has tried to let 'em know reality but what reality does is scare them rather than aware them. And with cheerleaders telling them "don't pay that stuff no mind", well, all I got to say is this. According to the stats, and because things only seem to be getting WORSE rather than BETTER out in society, almost 90% [instead of the outdated 85%]of these relationships will not make it, which means "we all ain't gonna make it."

And, they'll be saying the same as I did, the same as you did, the same as every other woman who's landed in this forum said -- that I never ever in a million years expected it to happen to me. Well you know what -- many of us also never ever in a million years expected to fall in love with an incarcerated man, but we did didn't we.

Personally, I don't listen to the "don't listen to that stuff" cheerleaders because that's just not real enough for me. I ain't with all that dreamy stuff -- I'm with the real stuff and in staying in touch with reality though I do not expect at all for "it" to happen to me [again], I DO KNOW THAT IT CAN because if I haven't learned anything since being in this lifestyle, what I have learned is too many of these men only give a quarter of what the women give which is why it is so easy for them to walk after release.

Yeah, everybody makes mistakes, but everybody don't make CRIMINAL MISTAKES and that is where the difference lies.

I better hush because sometimes, I'm too real for my own dern self!!

HoneyBee4Me · #5 03-28-2006, 03:39 PM

Wow, I guess I didn't realize I was giving off a tone, but I see it now. Not really sure what's been setting me off, but some of these posts have been so disgustingly dreamy.... it's just so not reality.

Thanks Iverske9, AmyLynn and HeSoHandsome for the words of encouragement, very much appreciated.

And you're right, I'm better off without that boyfriend and what goes around comes around.

JJsPenPal · #6 03-28-2006, 03:44 PM

girl, something wonderful will come to you and you will be able to look back someday and feel no pain!

ASH8669 · #7 03-28-2006, 04:45 PM

Hesohandsome::: work it girl!! I'm right there with ya!!! It can..and very well may happen to me...but if it does...there must be a lesson behind it. I know I've done all I can and with the kindness of my heart,and if he wants to walk away from "realness"...then thats exactly what he will ALWAYS do...is walk away!! I wish you all the happiness honeybee!! You are much better off!!

mybabycl · #8 03-29-2006, 01:01 PM

Amen. Thank you for posting this, this is so very true.

HoneyBee4Me · #9 03-29-2006, 01:13 PM

Thank you, thank you, thank you...

California Sunshine · #10 03-29-2006, 06:29 PM

I feel ya Honey I do. I try not to show negativity in my posts but at the same time I am just telling MY story and unfortunatly it is a negative one.I sure didn't think it would happen to me BUT I was a fool and I have no problem admitting that in my case I was a fool,I should of been more cautious as our relationship was off and on the whole 16 years and I should of known oh yes it can happen to me (again) but I let myself get blinded by devotion and love for him and was then blindsided when he bailed after a few months of being home.

Hang in there

(((HUGS)))