Anyone else totally alone, now that loved one in prison?

[rockinmyheart]

I'm wondering if anyone else is totally alone now that their son/daughter/husband/wife, etc. is in prison? I relocated 14 hours from my home, just 3 weeks before they came and took my son. I had no idea this was about to happen. I am totally alone here except for one very nice and supportive friend - who has a busy life of her own. Nothing is familiar, no one loves or cares about me here, no hugs from anyone, nothing. I cannot afford the expense of moving back. Even back home I only have a brother and a few friends, but at least its home and he is family. I came here to pursue my goals, have a fresh start and finally after divorce from an abusive husband enjoy and get on with life. It took so much courage to do this move. But my son came with me and it made it all happy and upbeat. And 3 weeks later - all is lost. I cannot get on with my life - because my heart is completely shattered. One goal when I came here was to find a church - but I cannot go to church now! I would fall apart in church. And what would I say about myself? I've lived a life that has left me completely alone at 47?

If you are alone - how do you handle the isolation day in and out? My son is my best friend. I did not smother his life, nor he mine - but once a week we had dinner. We sometimes went shopping or to movies. We watched tv or movies together....he was my family and my laughter. If he gets a long sentence - I will not make it. He'd drop by - even just for 15 minutes. I never felt empty or worthless. Now that is all I feel.

I know some people feel "alone" but they have the hugs and kisses of their little children even tho it is hard with a mate incarcerated, I know. Or people have moms & dads (mine have passed).

They say God won't give you what you cannot handle. I have serious doubts about that right now.

[jessesmp]

I know the feeling. I am so sorry your alone right now, but church is the place to be. My daughter actually found the church we go to now, their so loving and supportive of my situation and I feel like we have a whole new family. Their Motto is "A church that cares where your going and not where you've been" It sounds like you done so much to make a better life for yourself, get involved with church, volunteering, and anything to occupy your mind right now, It will get easier. I know you will get alot of support here. Please pm me if you just wanna chat. And hang in there!!!

[chinagrove]

I wanted to assure you that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. You must go through this grieving process before you will be able to handle what has been put on the plate before you. Check your pm's just wanted to chat from one member to another who has been there.

[SHERRON]

sweetie i know exactly how you feel.....and i feel like you do my son is my best friend....i am also a single human-being......and i picked up and moved up here to abilene, tx...by myself...don't know a single soul just so i can visit my son...i used to live 7 hours away.....don't give up GOD will help you....if you want to e-mail me ok i really do know how you feel ...(HUGS)

[Fae]

I am also about where you are now. All my family members have passed on and my adopted son was all I had. Some days I don't even get dressed until late in the evening when I have to go outside to feed the horses and I may eventually sell them....then I won't have any reason to get out of bed and get dressed at all. But with God's help I will get through this worst time of my life. Nothing is forever so perhaps these bad times will pass at some point during my lifetime. Hang in there and we will help lift the other one up on her feet. (((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))

[mistybluewaters]

I feel you so very much..i have a wonderful son in prison also ..he was my first born of three children ..he tought me to love , and my heart is so messed up to , i live in a constant anxiety ..i an currently on medication to be able to cope..i do have faith that my son will be coming Home and that the supreme court will help him ..he has been away for three long and miserable years ..i look forward to visiting him , but on the other hand i hate to go see him in prison, my son has been wronfully covicted and i spend every hour that can ..trying to save him from this corrupt legal system we have here in Louisiana, i thought that i was going to Die..even had my heart checked . and they did tell me that i would need a to have a procedure done on my heart ..if i didn't find a way to vent and release some of the stress..so my son has helped me a lot to cope, i look at him and i see such a courageous young man, full of faith and hope, he is the one locked up , but i'm the one falling appart, he has expressed to me that MOM...this is not your problem it is mine..please keep on living , for me ..i need you ...just as your son needs you ..so please hang in there and understand that things will get a little better, but you must be strong for him , because when all is said and done you are his mother and all he really has left, have you all been through the post conviction thing..how long does he have ? If i can handle this anyone can. please let me know how you are and feel free to send me a PM (personal email removed per PTO policy). i may can help you with research are understanding a lot of things, like i said my son is living at ine of the largest human warehouses in the world called LOUISIANA STATE PRISON @ Angola, La. i know how you feel , my son tell me that he is the one doing time , but he does not realize that we mothers are also doing time, it has change my life and put stress my relationship with my fiance' ..but he has stuck with me and has helped my son ..i read a book by Joel Osteen..YOUR BEST LIFE NOW it is a wonderful outlet and it will help you ...get it and begin to change things in your life and your Son...i know that you feel that God has forsaken you ..such as i felt there is a season for everything under the son and a reason ...it will pass...morning will come ...in Jesus Name

[PattiD1157]

Dang Hon, I have been thinking about you all day. I was at work and you were so heavy on my mind. I wish I could reach out and give you a big hug!!! ((((((((((HUGZ FOR YOU))))))))))
Patti

[rockinmyheart]

Thank you all for your thoughts. I tried to stay busy today, but only thought of my son all day. He called. He said he wished he had a time machine so we could fast forward all this. So do I. I love him so much.

[chinagrove]

I know where you are coming from. I had a rough day also. But we made it through that day . Now we will make it through this day.

[Abner]

rockinmyheart:

If it would help you to join a church, try to find one to join.

We will help, and stand ready, but warm bodies are good to have, too.

Let us know what happens, to you and your son. We all care deeply.

abner

[PT ROSE]

My prayers are with you and your Son.