Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

**David** · #1 08-03-2006, 02:39 PM

This is another sad example of Munchhausen by Internet..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munchausen_by_Internet
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I would say I am shocked and amazed but I really am not.. Maybe slightly saddened but it is just part of the job now, I suppose..

Some people for whatever sick reason feel the need to play games online – and I am not talking about arcade games.. More like RPG’s (Role Playing Games) if anything.. Some probably do it because they are bored or are seeking attention, and don’t consider the pain they can inflict on others via their “innocent” little pranks.. Others like drama and take pleasure in seeing how far they can go in creating their own soap operas. Still, others might want to try and enhance themselves by using multiple accounts to talk to themselves.. Regardless of the reason, it is not going to fly here and we are going to ban any and everyone involved in things such as these..

This case in point harkens back to a very sick incident her at PTO a few years back perpetrated by Suzi Webb. We take death hoaxes and dupe accounts very seriously here. While it is not the staff’s job to verify or look into the validity of what everyone says here on PTO, we do get into progressive investigations when something comes up on the radar and we feel it is serious. In this case, we did.

The original member Okie (she made 1 post) (Profile here) supposedly died back in August 2004. Soon after that her daughter “Sam” logged on with her mother’s account and told everyone she had died. She basically took over this account and became active at PTO, especially in the live chat room. We should have required her to open her own account but I don’t think anyone thought she was going to be around long since PTO was her mother’s interest.

Fast forward until this past month when Girlsmom aka Cathy shows up and starts posting about Sam in the Being Humbled thread. After Sam replies in the thread to Cathy she comes back and mentions that Cathy has committed suicide. She then asks that the thread be closed. It is during this time that the staff member looking into closing it notices that both the IP address for Okie and Girlsmom are the exact same one. The thread is temporarily trashed and discussion begins about the duplicate IP addresses.

In the case of AOL and most dial-up ISP’s, the IP addresses could be the same for many thousands of members due to their use of proxy servers. Most DSL, Cable and broadband IP’s are unique (static) or vary slightly from the original used, but are still easy to match. In the case of this IP address, it actually belongs to a school district and is about as distinct as they come. After we did a trace route on it and more research there was no doubt the posts were made from the same location. (During our investigation I got in contact with the head of the school district's IT department to discuss this further. I wanted to make sure it wasn't just a place where someone could walk in and use the computer. It turns out everyone has to have a assigned login to access these computers. They are looking into exactly who's account was used to login to both of these accounts at PTO now.)

From there we started to look into who this “Cathy” person (girlsmom) was and if we could find out more info about her. Since she supposedly committed suicide and we had a full name, date & location, you would think there would be something in the newspaper about it, or at least an obituary. Nope… We could find nothing, and we went as far as to pay for a short subscription to the local newspaper and do full searches. Small town newspapers almost always are big on any news they can get their hands on, and Hobbs, New Mexico is big enough to have a decent paper www.hobbsnews.com , while not overloaded with info like the New York Times.

At this point I would be more than comfortable in banning both accounts, but since Okie had been a member around here for some time, and had many friends in the chat room, I wanted to go the extra mile and see if we could find some explanation for all of this.

Next stop was to check into state vital statistics for death certificates / confirmation. It is State Law almost everywhere that I know of that when someone dies within the border of a state, the medical examiner must file a death certificate with the State. This doesn't matter if they are moved to be burried elsewhere.
Surprise! (not) Nothing for Cathy.. And at that point we thought we would check on the original Okie since she died and Sam evolved from that. - there was nothing on Okie either. We went on and checked state & even nation wide obituaries for both names and all variations. We did searches in the newspaper archives and all.. Not a single hit.. Not even about someone getting shot like Sam was.

So, next we looked at the similarities in writing / grammar styles in the Humbled thread between the two of them. While there are many similar points such as how they use the “-“hyphen and where it is placed (no space after word), misspelling of the word “threw”, and signing their names in lowercase directly at the end of a sentence, that isn’t 100%, however it sure is interesting when you include that the posts were made with the very same IP address and when considering all the other facts (or lack of them) we had dug up..

With this information we have banned the Okie account. We have also banned Klyn and a PTO staff member for the parts they played while we were investigating this. PTO staff members are held to an even higher standard with regards to our policies, and unfortunately, this one didn’t respect them much.

As mentioned before, it is NOT PTO staff member’s jobs to investigate whether or not people are lying or making stuff up for whatever reason. We actually do not allow that type of activity in almost any case, however, if we do come across duplicate accounts or those suspected of having them we are going to investigate as much as we have to so that we can determine what is going on.

Those of you that have been around PTO for a while probably know that we rarely talk publicly about suspensions and those who are banned. This case and those similar are usually the only exceptions. I know Okie or Sam had a number of friends here that have been long time PTO members and I want all of you to know the facts behind this. If there is any doubt, please be my guest and research all of this for yourself. I also want to put to bed the rumor I have heard that she has been banned because she became a correctional officer. This is completely false. It was never even part of the equation and I believe I learned of that only after we had started investigating. Personally, I think having a pre-existing PTO member or someone in prison support that later starts working in corrections is a big plus for the community and especially our loved ones inside.

Lastly, I hope this serves as a warning to anyone who ever considers signing up a duplicate account here for nefarious purposes. Okie most definitely was not the first to do this, and I am quite sure she won’t be the last… But, we are ever vigilant for this type of activity and while someone might not get busted right away or the first time they do it, chances are we are going to catch them eventually. Our software has many tools to aid in doing this and more are added all the time.David

**Patty** · #2 08-03-2006, 03:47 PM

As always you were thorough and fair. Now back to work...

Patty

moetbj · #3 08-03-2006, 03:54 PM

wow! that is something else - thanks for the information and explanation - we are lucky to have you keeping an eye on things! people are truely something else!

Valentine4ever · #4 08-03-2006, 04:04 PM

OMG.....my mouth is on the floor....hold up while i pick it up!!!!!

butchies_girl · #5 08-03-2006, 04:08 PM

thanks for all the hard work David!

HOPE4FUTURE · #6 08-03-2006, 04:13 PM

Well, myself, I feel like a total idiot because I couldn't get that suicide thing out of my mind for 3 days. I even pm'ed another member and we tried to figure out why she would have done that and did she plan to do it and was making her last amends beforehand. I've been played on here before so I shouldn't be so surprised I guess. This is the reason that my man has told me over and over to stay off of this site. I think anyone caught should be banned the first time, no exceptions. I am relieved that you are on top of these incidences Fed-X, adm, and mods. Thank you.

**David** · #7 08-03-2006, 04:19 PM

Michela,

You are a direct example of why we feel so strongly about this type of thing. I've heard it out of people (Suzi for sure) before that she never meant to hurt and upset all the people she did.. But, the problem is that she, Sam and the others like her surely have. Hurtng people emotionally may not be criminal like stealing from people, but IMO, it is much much worse..

Again, this is a rare event around here and probably in most communities but we are going to always go the extra mile in weeding it out. 99.9% of PTO members are completely stand up people, but there is that 1/10 of 1 percent anyplace in the world that are not..

I hope this doesn't scare anyone off but we felt everyone needed to know, just like we did with Suzi.

David

HOPE4FUTURE · #8 08-03-2006, 04:36 PM

Fed-X, I have only been on this site since March. In May I got caught up in the Thatgirl01-Sunshine001 thing. I caught onto this thing and it was followed up on but the member was not banned. She then stalked me around on my posts and make rude comments anywhere possible. She played the victim role over and over and also got sympathy from others that ended with her calling the facility to make a complaint against her ex-boyfriend. This is supposed to be a support group for inmates and their loved ones. I happen to be in that category even if I do happen to be an ex-co. I have received other nasty comments on here from co's that I didn't appreciate either. It also hurts sometimes when the threads are run about the co's and inmates. Maybe some people don't even realize it but there are many ex-co's on the site with inmate boyfriends and husbands. To me it is like a form of racism or a member talking nasty about a SO or something to that effect. Anyways, thank you.

AmyLynn · #9 08-03-2006, 04:48 PM

Oh My I remember the Suzi thing and now this. I'm glad that it was caught but it messed up that people seem to think that it is ok to do things like this to others.
michela i'm sorry that you are feeling this. way just know that not everyone on here is about bashing or upseting anyone over who they fall in love with!!!

HOPE4FUTURE · #10 08-03-2006, 04:54 PM

Thank you AmyLynn, I know that because I have made alot of really good friends here. That's why I'm so strong against giving it up as my man insists. He knows that I am naive and have way too much feeling and he tries to protect me from these kinds of things. I'm not even going to tell him about this new one. We just all need to be on top of the situation and fill each other in.

bookieworm2000 · #11 08-03-2006, 05:12 PM

wow, I figured this sort of thing could go on that is why I am so distant in getting to know anyone personally and not giving out anything about my son. There are players anywhere. Thank you to Fed X and the staff that this got taken care of. But there is no way I would trust anyone enough with my sons life. Jackie

ROB6RTZ WIF6Y · #12 08-03-2006, 05:18 PM

okay um what are there suppose to be just the same person are what???

**David** · #13 08-03-2006, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ROB3RTS WIF3Y

okay um what are there suppose to be just the same person are what???

Yes.

haswtch · #14 08-03-2006, 05:35 PM

It amazes me no end that people do this stuff. Very odd illness. WHY???? I mean, attention, obviously. But what a wierd and you would think time consuming way to get attention. Lord, I'm lucky if I can remember my own phone number a lot of days and there's always more to do than there are hours in the day, without trying to hoax a bunch of people with invented tragedies.
I wonder if other forums DO get this stuff...Reinternetcarnation? Sad.

PattiD1157 · #15 08-03-2006, 05:56 PM

As this is now water under the bridge, the focus is task at hand. We all need to go on with our lives and know that David and his Administration are always watching. This whole okie episode has put me in a tail spin so to speak. Mind boggling is one phrase I could use. PTO should be a safe haven for all, but there are those that shake the ground a little bit. The stabilizer (admin) focuses on the problem and does what is necessary to solve it.
There is still so much unknown and that does confuse the mind, but at the same time, knowing that so much time and effort is put into situations we can all rest assured that problems will be taken care of.
My position as a moderator is to help all the new members find their way around PTO, answer questions if I can as well as find answers if I don't know them. I want everyone to be able to grow from PTO as well as continue to learn. When I first came her I didn't know what a gold mine I had found. The pride that comes with being on staff is something that I could never explain. If I am able to help one person a day, my daily mission is accomplished.
Episodes happen, situations are solved and from there.....back to work!!

Atalie · #16 08-03-2006, 05:58 PM

Does anyone remember a few years a go a woman was caught pretending her fiance was killed in Iraq and she was pregnant and left alone? Anyway she duped a radio station and the DJs and people in the whole town. This went on for about a year. She would call the radio station and get all kinds of support. Then they found out it was all a lie. The woman DJ was devastated, she had cried buckets for this woman. she had no excuse except she liked the attention.

neworleans85 · #17 08-03-2006, 06:06 PM

that is CRAZY! i guess you're right, some people just NEED drama in their lives so badly they create things like this. it is sad. i think, even though these people conned the site, we should pray for them. something has to be seriously off balance for someone to go to such lengths.

*Lysbeth* · #18 08-03-2006, 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by haswtch

I wonder if other forums DO get this stuff...Reinternetcarnation? Sad.

Yeah, they do... at least a lot of cases of people pretending to be two or three people at the same time, things like that. Depending on what type of forum it is, probably a whole lot worse than us. MySpace and places like that as well as other message board forums... people've been doing stuff like this since the beginning of online time really. Sadly there are a lot of lonely or otherwise sick people out there who will just do all kinds of things to get attention, sympathy, whatever.

The good news is, tho, I know of a lot of places that have been habitually infiltrated with liars and game players and such... but we've only had two really bad cases here on PTO like this in all these years. So that really does say a lot about about the integrity and honesty of our membership overall and in general.

As always, we always suggest people be careful to whom and how much they give out their personal information to. But we still firmly believe that MOST of the PTO membership are good people that can be trusted and are who they say they are, so I hate for things like happening and urge everyone not to jump to the "trust no one" thing but instead just be careful. 'Cos 99% of our PTO folks are good and trustworthy folks. To have had only 2 bad cases like this out of 80,000+ members in 5 years almost... like I said, that really says a lot about the integrity and honesty of our membership overall!

zhane · #19 08-03-2006, 07:31 PM

Wow this is definatley some interesting information to find out and I am happy that we have Fed here to keep everything on the up and up!

Jillian · #20 08-03-2006, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by neworleans85

that is CRAZY! i guess you're right, some people just NEED drama in their lives so badly they create things like this. it is sad. i think, even though these people conned the site, we should pray for them. something has to be seriously off balance for someone to go to such lengths.

you are right it is crazy cause when ppl play on others emotions like this it gets ppl really jaded. Making the next person who comes along who may really be sick or have someone died have a hard time .. Cause other ppl have taken something like that and made it out to be their sick and twisted game.. I dont know anyone who is in their right MIND would lie about abuse or even the death of a loved one.. That is just so ridiculous..

I am glad that this is over and it is out in the open so we all can know the truth behind what happened and why it happened.. This site is here for support and not for games.. Its a great site thanks to all you members who come here just for that support and to give it back in return.. So thanks too you .. And also to all the staff who helps with this site.. Its great to know that those bad seeds are no longer apart of this happy community ..

With that said .. lets all go about our lives and continue to be the supportive community we have always been ..

bookieworm2000 · #21 08-03-2006, 07:54 PM

This only proves to me that all over the net you have to be careful.
Thank fully we have wonderful Fedex and moderators but we all have to remember in here and all sites, some have their own agenda and reasons for hurting others. I cringe reading some threads which tell their loved ones cell, numbers whatever, dc numbers and names. Most in here are good, wonderful, loving ppl but like every site not all are.
God bless you all. I come here to learn, have support and know that I am not alone but evil lurks everywhere. Jackie

MicheleCJr · #22 08-03-2006, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bookieworm2000

Thank fully we have wonderful Fedex and moderators

Amen!

Amy · #23 08-04-2006, 12:45 AM

I remember the Suzi incident, but I can't say that I was really affected by it. This, however, does strike a cord with me. I didn't become as deeply envolved emotionally as some others did, but I was sad to hear that Okie had died. She was always someone who was cheerful in chat. Everyone loved her.

To think that she would need more attention than the positive attention she was getting from people that really thought a lot about her is sad. To think that anyone would feel the need to fake their own death just to...validate...that the people who befriended her really cared.....disgusting.

MonkeyBoi77 · #24 08-04-2006, 12:55 AM

Wow this is news to me cuz I have talked to Okie in chat and out on yahoo messenger, I guess I got duped along with others.

Joshsstepmom · #25 08-04-2006, 07:19 AM

I am too new to this website and don't think anyone has a right to play with other people's heads. I cam here because like I stated in my intro for help or suggestions about what to do with my situation. I appreciate to Fedex and his staff for being straight up about this forum and the people on it. More power to you. I appreciate everything you guys do!!