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xxmelissaxx · #1 10-24-2006, 02:06 PM

i have a 3 yr old and a 1yr old, my 3 yr old son keeps asking me when his daddy is commin home from work, i have no idea what to say to him and i get so mad at my boyfriend for putting us in that situation, any advice on what i could say 2 my baby to ease his confusion about his father being gone?

saltygal · #2 10-24-2006, 05:07 PM

my son isn't old enough to ask...but i would advise you to be honest. your son is too young to understand "prison," but you can explain it to him in bits & pieces. i would not lie...when he gets older he may feel betrayed if he finds out the true. perhaps try saying something like....."daddy made a mistake and he has to work to pay it off for a while. he'll be home in __________." as he gets older you can fill in more of the gaps.

do you guys visit? perhaps that may help. good luck

ricksgal · #3 10-24-2006, 05:38 PM

I just recently told my son his daddy is in jail. He's almost 5 1/2, until now he always thought daddy was at work. After I told him, he had a melt down, crying his eyes out. It broke my heart. He even told me he didn't want me to tell him that. In some ways I think I told him too soon, and sometimes I don't. It's all a judgment call. I really don't think he would have understood it at all if I would have told him when he was younger.

I even had some people tell me I should try to avoid telling him that way he wouldn't worry about his daddy being around bad guys and all the bad things that could happen. But decided that wasn't very realistic.

You know your child best, tell them what you think they can handle without lying about it. And always remember to reinforce that daddy loves him, no matter what. Good luck!

AuroraBaby87 · #4 10-24-2006, 08:42 PM

I think you should judge what to tell him by how long his dad will be in jail. He needs to know that he won't be coming home soon but he will come home in time. I know that if I wasn't told that my dad was going to prison I would have had a melt down myself. I'm a Daddy's girl and it was hard enough to not see him over the last year. Other than that it is all your call... You are the mom we can only help.

xxmelissaxx · #5 10-26-2006, 04:05 PM

thanx...i quess im just gonna feel it out for a lil while see how it goes

AuroraBaby87 · #6 10-31-2006, 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxmelissaxx

thanx...i quess im just gonna feel it out for a lil while see how it goes

I hope you find the best way to tell them. The best of luck and there is ALWAYS support here.

nmh777 · #7 10-31-2006, 12:37 AM

my kids are 1 1/2 and 3. At first all I would say is that he "went bye bye for a long time." They have came home from the sitter and told me he was at work, and "DaDa was bad". He will be home before they can uderstand prison anyways, and being "at work" hurts ME less .

hmmarshall · #8 11-02-2006, 05:50 PM

tell him daddy misbehaved and is in a big boy timeout ! That's what I'm going to tell my daughter when she asks