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prinny68 · #1 11-01-2006, 10:43 AM

Ok, so I am really new to the site, but after looking around for a while, I see that there are so many people like me that are caring about someone sentenced to the WI prison system, and everyone seems to be asking the same questions as myself, and feeling the same things. My fiance was just(last Thursday) sentenced to one year in the prison system, and is currently in the county jail awaiting to be transferred to Dodge for A & E. Yee ha.... from what I have been reading the A & E is the toughest part to get through. This is not the first time that I have dealt with him being incarcerated, however this is the first time that he has been in prison. The county jails have seemed to be like a second home to him, up until the time that I met him. He did one year in Rock County, when I was pregnant with his daughter, and now I will be doing one year while he is prison, with my three children, alone. Now THAT's kind of scary!

I am definitely though, looking for anyone that can give me the ins and outs of what to tell him to expect since I will probably be able to talk to him a few more times before he gets transferred to Dodge, and if anyone can clear up the visiting issue I have, for me. See he doesn't have any immediate relatives in the state, so my question is, since I am not married to him, but he would like to be able to see his 2 year old daughter, can I take her up there while he is in A&E in Dodge, to see him?? Will i be approved to visit with him, since I am her guardian??

I am also hoping to find someone for another support channel on here, since it sounds as if so many of you have been going through this for a while, as to how to handle just the daily struggles of having that "hole" in your life... What do you do on the outside to keep yourself from forgetting that certain someone. I just worry about him, and hope that this year goes by FAST!

Sarafina · #2 11-01-2006, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prinny68

I am definitely though, looking for anyone that can give me the ins and outs of what to tell him to expect since I will probably be able to talk to him a few more times before he gets transferred to Dodge, and if anyone can clear up the visiting issue I have, for me. See he doesn't have any immediate relatives in the state, so my question is, since I am not married to him, but he would like to be able to see his 2 year old daughter, can I take her up there while he is in A&E in Dodge, to see him?? Will i be approved to visit with him, since I am her guardian??

I am also hoping to find someone for another support channel on here, since it sounds as if so many of you have been going through this for a while, as to how to handle just the daily struggles of having that "hole" in your life... What do you do on the outside to keep yourself from forgetting that certain someone. I just worry about him, and hope that this year goes by FAST!

Hi Prinny and welcome to PTO!
We are here for you when you need a 'shoulder' to lean on!

I'm almost 100% positive you will not be able to visit your loved one while he is in A&E because you are not married... even if you have a child together (unless they changed this recently). DOC says immediate family only (Spouse, mother, father, children... that's it) I know this stinks because it's not like your 2 year old can walk in there herself. So technically,.. you daughter could visit,..but would have to be brought by his mother/father). The more time they have to do the A&E,.. the quicker they'll get it done (even tho the WI DOC is sloooowww).

As far as handling the 'hole' you are feeling.. take it day by day. Before you know it... he'll be home! (Trust me,.. I know- I've been doing this for over 8 years now.. and have (hopefully) less than 1 year to go!)

Again.. feel free to come here for any help/advice/venting fest you may have!! We are all here to support each other! Good Luck!

SummerRae · #3 11-01-2006, 06:10 PM

A&E is still moving pretty slow. The last couple people I knew to go through took up to 2 months. And it's overcrowded so some are going to a county jail after A&E before being staffed at a regular facility. But a county jail only keeps them up to 90 days.

You won't be able to see him in A&E either. You'll have to wait until he's done with that part.

Good luck and welcome to PTO

prinny68 · #4 11-02-2006, 07:42 AM

Thanks so much for the warm welcome and the encouraging words. Like I said, we've been through a year before, and I was pregnant then! But for some reason just knowing that he is in a PRISON, is harder for me. And when he was in Rock County before for a year, he had Huber work release so I got to see him all the time still. Way different from now.

But I talked to him last night and it sounds like he is in good spirits. I took him some clothes up to the jail, and he was floored that I would do it without him having to ask, he was so happy! haha, I'm like, I've got to take care of my baby, ya know?

I wish I had the money to help him that way though! But he knows I would if I could!

So when they are in prison, what kind of clothes do they wear and do they get to wash them all the time? Do you know if they only get a certain number of showers every week like in the county jails? Is the canteen really expensive??

I have a friend of a friend that has just spent a couple of years in Red Granite, and he said that he likes the prisons better than the county jails, because you actually get more freedoms, and you don't have all the little kid punks tryin to start fights and stuff.... the guys in the prisons just do their time, and get out. That was definitely reassuring!

Thanks again for the kind words!

Truth Seeker · #5 11-03-2006, 12:26 AM

Hi Prinny and again welcome to PTO/WI!
You have a lot of questions that suit better in the general Wisconsin forum, so I am going to move it there so that you hopefully get more replies.
Wishing you and family incl. your man the best!!
Abelle

RicksBaby · #6 11-03-2006, 07:42 PM

The clothes they can wear depends on the institution, but most have the same limits. Like 2 undershirts, 4 pairs of boxer shorts, 1 pair of tennis shoes, etc. They will receive a property list once they get staffed and he will be able to tell you what he can and can't have. Most institutions also have a property list on their DOC site. You'll have to wait til he gets staffed to get them to him because you can only have clothing sent in from the actual retailer and it must have a receipt and the shippers label on the box. You can't send him clothes from home or drop clothes off. Most institutions also have restrictions on what color the clothing can be, like Dodge all inmate clothing has to be a heather grey color, except boxers can be any color as long as they are one solid color. However, try to order the boxers the same color too because otherwise when he washes clothes his grey stuff or white stuff or whatever will get funky cuz of the colors bleeding.

They can wash their clothes whenever. They actually give their clothes and detergent in their laundry bag to the unit "swamper" and he washes the clothes for them. However, sometimes they are able to wash their own clothes. Depends on the unit and the guard on duty.

The canteen items aren't that expensive. They can order up to 37.50 (i think) each week. My boyfriend gets more than plenty to keep him fed. A lot of the time too guys pitch in food and cook "meals" so you put in a can of soup, or a meat stick or cheese and in return you get a big bowl of food like concotion.

As far as showers they can shower whenver they like. Sometimes there is a wait for showers at certain times of the day, especially at night before they get locked up.

Ok I'm done rambling, lol.

Hope some of that was a bit helpful.

prinny68 · #7 11-03-2006, 08:37 PM

Wow, what a help.... it's just weird, from what I've heard... from some friends that have a friend in a WI prison.... the prisons are actually more laid back and free than the Rock County Jail.... To me that just sounds crazy, but reassuring because honestly, I hate the County jail.... everyone is so rude, and it's strict.... drives me nuts when I go to visit....

So honestly, when you get visits in the prison, how much or little are you really allowed to touch them.... I mean, are they really super strict... like can I sit next to him, and put my hand on his knee.... kiss him now and then, or are they really strict about that stuff??

Sarafina · #8 11-03-2006, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prinny68

So honestly, when you get visits in the prison, how much or little are you really allowed to touch them.... I mean, are they really super strict... like can I sit next to him, and put my hand on his knee.... kiss him now and then, or are they really strict about that stuff??

There is a thread here in the WI forum regarding this questions (it's not that old of a thread).

You can hug/embrace and kiss when you first arrive and when you leave. Most of the institutions are pretty laid back on this... but the rules usually say only a 30 second contact. You may also hold hands throughout the visit. Most places require you to sit across from the inmate if you are a girlfriend/wife. I wouldn't go so far as to touch a leg... that'd be pushing it... but.. if you are sneaky... hmmmm... lol

RicksBaby · #9 11-04-2006, 12:49 PM

Rick will touch my knee or face if we are joking around or laughin or something. Sometimes we playfully smack each other on the leg or arm. But definitely no rubbing body parts. We have gotten yelled at once or twice for kissing or hugging too long. I was kind of pissed about it at first but then I realized that for a few weeks we were pushing it every day and making out longer and longer, lol. So now we just keep it to a peck and maybe sometimes slip a bit of tongue. I certainly walk the line of caution because I don't want visits to be taken away.

prinny68 · #10 04-30-2007, 02:46 PM

Well it's been quite a while since I've written on here, so I thought I would stop and leave an update. My fiance is now a little over half way through his sentence. He is currently awaiting his transfer out of the Fond du Lac county jail, to Fox Lake(should be next week), as his 90 days should be up in the jail, and then he'll actually be transferred to the prison.

Life is much different with him and I now. We have a much different strong yet independent relationship now. We both are kind and considerate of what the other is going through, we're not worrying about the future, just today. We are not freaking out if we don't talk enough, write enough, etc etc, we are just taking one day at a time, and remembering that all of this happens for a reason. We're down to about 6 months now, which in perspective, is VERY short.

I guess if anyone can give me their opinions of the Fox Lake prison, that would be great.... And anyone with any information and/or support in regards to releases, that would be great too.... Just wondering how others have found their signif's release transition to have effected their lives, and wanted to know if anyone had any words of encouragement?

Take care all, and keep your heads up! We are ALL strong enough to do this!

prinny68 · #11 06-11-2007, 08:27 AM

Hellos to all!

Just wanted to post and let everyone know that I finally had my very first visit yesterday, after a long 6 months. He finally got transferred to an actual prison, after sitting in Dodge for forever, then a county jail, and now he is finally at Fox Lake. And let me tell you, it was so not as scary as I expected it to be! It was actually kinda nice, and calm, quiet. He looked amazing, great smile on his face, and OMG that kiss, even as short as it was, was AMAZING!! I literally went from being on the fence about us, to feeling like I hadn't had any time away from him at all! It was so healing!

I also realized from the moment he put his arms around me, how much I miss him, and how much I truly love him, no matter how much I try act like this doesn't bother me. It was a great visit, and I'm so happy now that I will be able to go see him more often, and actually be able to have decent conversations, in a controlled environment, so that we can begin rebuilding this bruised relationship. It's just nice to know that connection is still there.

Also I wanted to comment on the staff at Fox Lake. They were all very nice, very helpful, and for once while visiting him, unlike the county jails, I didn't feel like pond scum. The COs were friendly and pleasant, and even when he accidentally sat on the same side of the table as me, after we were up walking around, when they came over to remind him to sit on the opposite side of table, they were not rude about it, or demeaning... they politely said, you need to sit on opposite sides of the table and that was it! Fox Lake actually didn't really even look much like I expected a prison to look like. If you take away the fences and barbed wire and towers, it honestly to me looked like a college campus. Just a bunch of buildings spread out with sidewalks to get to all.... and the inmates are allowed to walk independently between different areas.... Made me feel a little better about where he is at.

All in all it was a great visit, and he enjoyed seeing the kids and they in turn loved spending some time with their dad.

Please keep us all in your prayers, as I'm sure that's what is getting us through a lot of this. I appreciate the support!

wonderinginwisc · #12 06-11-2007, 09:46 AM

Prinny 68 - Glad you finally got to visit. I think Fox Lake is a minimum prison, (but I'm not sure). I'm glad they treat you like a real person. Oshkosh treats you much better that Dodge, but still have the feeling that they are looking down on anyone that visits a inmate. Good luck.

candy · #13 06-14-2007, 07:55 PM

Good to hear that you enjoyed your visit. When my baby was in Fox Lake, we really enjoyed the outdoor visits and the little play area for the kids. Fox Lake is a minimum. He has been to just about every prison in WI, but I enjoyed visiting Fox Lake the most. It is good that that kids enjoyed seeing their father. Hope all your future visits go well!

RicksBaby · #14 06-16-2007, 03:23 PM

I think Fox Lake is a minimum/medium. Rick is going to medium any time now and parole review committee told him he would be transfered to either Fox Lake or Oshkosh to complete his programs.