Islamic Connection

[Sheyanne]

Ibn Al-Qayyim described Allah's Greatness, saying,

He governs the affairs of the various kingdoms and He commands and forbids, creates, sustains, gives death, gives life, gives power, strips power (to and from whom He wills) and alternates the night and day. He gives varying fortunes to people and alternates governments (and states), destroying some and bringing some into existence. His Command and Power are dominant in the heavens and their zones, the earth and all that which is on and in it, in the seas and in the air. His Knowledge has encompassed everything and He counted everything. He hears all types of voices and they do not confuse Him. Rather, He hears each voice in its distinct language and need, and no voice will make Him busy from fulfilling the need of another, and no need will ever escape His Perfect Knowledge (and His Power to deliver). He does not become bored because of the many needs of those who need. His Sight encompasses all that which there is. He sees the movement of a black ant on a barren rock during a dark night. To Him, the Unseen is uncovered end the secret is secret no more,

"Whosoever is in the heavens and on Earth begs of Him (its needs from Him). Every day He has a matter to bring Forth (such as giving honor to some, disgrace to some, life to (some, death to some, etc.)." [55:29]

He forgives an evil deed, makes depression vanish and brings reprieve from disasters, relief for whoever needs it, wealth for the poor, guidance for the misguided, light for the lost, help for he who is desperate, fullness for the hungry, cover for the barely clothed, cure for the ill and ease for he who suffers. He accepts he who repents, gives reward for he who does good, gives aid for he who was dealt with injustice, destroys an arrogant person, covers mistakes, gives safety after fear end elevates some people and humiliates others. If those who inhabit His heavens and His earth and all those whom He created, whether mankind or the Jinns, had hearts similar to the most pious heart, His Kingdom will not increase. If all His creation, whether mankind or the Jinns, had hearts similar to the heart of the most wicked heart, this will not decrease from His Kingdom. Also, if all those who inhabit His heavens and His earth, all mankind and all the Jinns, the dead and the living, stand up on one strip of land and each asks Him for his need, and He then fulfils their needs, this will not decrease from what He has a bit. He is the First, nothing is before Him, the Last, nothing is after Him, the Most High, nothing is above Him, and the Most Near, nothing is nearer than Him. He, Exalted and Ever High as He is, is the Best Whom one can and should remember, the only One Who deserves to be worshiped and thanked, the Kindest of all those who own and the Most generous of all those who are asked to give. He is the King Who has no partner, the One Who has no competitor, the Samad (Self-Sufficient) Who has no offspring, and the Ever High, none like unto Him. Everything perishes save His Face and every kingship is bound to perish except His. He will only be obeyed by His Leave, and His Knowledge uncovers all disobedience to Him. When He is obeyed, He thanks for it, and when He is disobeyed, He grants forgiveness (for those who truly repent to Him). Every punishment from Him is just and every bounty is a grace. He is the Closest Witness and the Nearest One with His Perfect Care. He controls the forelocks of everything and has the full records of all deeds end the books of all ages. The hearts are unmasked to Him and the secret is unveiled. His giving and punishing is merely a Command,

"Verily, His Command, when He intends a thing, is only that He says to it, ‘Be, and it is!’" [36:82]

[Sheyanne]

Benefit: I’m Stressed Out, I’m Angry, I’ve Had Enough, I’m Going to Explode!! Relax…Have Patience – Advice from an incarcerated Muslim.

In the Name of Allaah, Ar-Rahmaan, Ar-Raheem...

All praise is due to Allaah. May the Salaah and the Salaam be upon Prophet Muhammad, his family, his companions and all those who follow him in goodness until the Day of Recompense, as to what proceeds:


Indeed the life of the Dunyaa is one of toil and struggle for the believer up until the time when he meets his Lord. It is for this reason that Allaah has enjoined patience upon His slaves and has made it such an integral part of the religion of al-Islam. The All-Knowing, the All-Wise, has mentioned patience more than 90 times in the Qur`aan, from them is His, the Most High, statement:

"And say not of those who are killed in the Way of Allaah, 'They are dead.' Nay, they are living, but you perceive (it) not. (154) And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.).(155)"
[Al-Baqarah 2:154-155]

And His Statement:

"By Al-'Asr (the time). (1) Verily! Man is in loss, (2) Except those who believe (in Islamic Monotheism) and do righteous good deeds, and recommend one another to the truth (i.e. order one another to perform all kinds of good deeds (Al-Ma'ruf) which Allaah has ordained, and abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds (Al-Munkar) which Allaah has forbidden), and recommend one another to patience (for the sufferings, harms, and injuries which one may encounter in Allaah's Cause during preaching His religion of Islamic Monotheism or Jihad, etc.). (3)"
[Sooratul-'Asr: 103-1-3]

In the first of the above two passages from Allaah's Glorious Book, Allaah informs His slaves of the sure fact that they will be tried and tested. However, it should be known that the objective of Allaah's tests and trails is not for Him, the All-Knowing of what is in the breasts, to acquire some knowledge about His slave that He didn't have. Rather, they are means by which He distinguishes the people of firm eemaan from those who have weak or no eemaan, the people of at-taqwaa and love of Allaah from the disobedient ones. As Allaah says in His Book,

"Alif-Lam-Mim. (1) Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: "We believe," and will not be tested. (2) And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allah knows all that before putting them to test). (3)"
[Sooratul-‘Ankaboot 29:1-3]

The reality of this affair can be seen in the fact that when some Muslims are tested they are actually strengthened in their forbearance and reliance upon Allaah; while others are driven to despair and become disobedient to Allaah and His Messenger, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. This is from the deceptions of Shaytaan who threatens the slave with poverty and afterwards incites him to do what is unlawful to save himself from it. As Allaah says about him,

"Shaytaan threatens you with poverty and orders you to commit Fahsha (evil deeds, illegal sexual intercourse, sins etc.); whereas Allah promises you Forgiveness from Himself and Bounty, and Allah is All-Sufficient for His creatures' needs, All-Knower. (268)"
[Sooratul-Baqarah 2:268]

In this second of these passages mentioned above (al-‘Asr 103:1-3), Allaah informs us that all of mankind is doomed except those who have the two qualities mentioned therein (a) eemaan, which consist of belief in the heart, testification with the tongue and action with the limbs, and (b) patience. How are these two qualities related? Alee ibn Abee Taalib, may Allaah be pleased with him, said "Sabr (patience) is to eemaan as the head is to the body; if the head is removed then the body will fall." Saying that, he raised his voice and proclaimed, "You cannot have faith without patience!" For this reason ash-Shaafi'ee said concerning Sooratul-‘Asr;"If Allaah had sent down upon his creation no other proof besides this Soorah it would have sufficed them"1



After a brief introduction, I would like to share some of my personal experiences with my brothers and sisters in hope that they are benefited by them. And Allaah says,

"Therefore remind (men) in case the reminder profits (them). (9) The reminder will be received by him who fears (Allah), (10)"
[Sooratul-'Alaa 87:9-10]

I am a Muslim who, at the time of writing this article, is 34 years of age and I have been in prison for the past twelve years. Due to a number of factors such as distance, frequent transfers, etc., I have not had a single visit from a family member over the course of the past twelve years. About half-way through my incarceration, I was faced with the calamity which every incarcerated person dreads, and that is the death of my mother to whom I was very close with, as I am her only child just as she was her mother's only child. I myself have only one child whom I have not seen since I left the streets in 1998 except in pictures; and my contact with her has been sparse to say the least. Three of the past twelve years were spent on lock down at a maximum security prison in Marion IL, USA. These are some of my personal trials. As for the religious and general trials, then they are many, such as those who are abandoned by their wives or friends and family, the harassment by the correctional officers to the Muslims. In fact, today an officer went into a Muslim's cell under the premise of a "Shakedown” (a cell search for contraband, etc.) and took all of his Islaamic books claiming that he had too many. He only left him with secular novels and a bible! The “shakedown” is what the officers use to antagonize the inmates who they don't like. So at any given time an officer may go into your room, search through your belongings, taking your personal items and having no respect for anything that belongs to the inmate.


One may think that people in prison have it easy due to the fact that we get three meals a day and a free bed, however, the prison system serves pork almost on a regular basis, so if a Muslim doesn't have the support of his/her family, there will be a lot of hungry nights. But in spite of all this, and many other trails that I have declined to mention, some more significant than others, Allaah has made my incarceration a source of guidance and abundance of good. He has made my prison to be a University and my cell to be a place of worship and study, thereby increasing me in eemaan and at-Tawakkul (trust) upon him. By Allaah, nothing has been taken from me except that Allaah has replaced it with that which is better. For I have seen individuals, both Muslims and non-Muslims, experience not even half the trails that I have endured, yet have twice the complaints. Indeed, some have even been driven to disobedience, apostasy from the religion or insanity. But a servant cannot be given a gift better and more abundant than patience.


My dear friend and mentor, who is incarcerated in another prison, is currently serving a sentence of double life plus fifty!! ‘O Muslim, let this sink in, DOUBLE LIFE PLUS FIFTY. This means hypothetically (if Allaah doesn't decree his release), that if he were to die twice, he would have to come back and give the system 50 move years! But by Allaah, I have never seen a Muslim more upbeat; having more sincerity to Allaah, more love for Allaah, His Messenger and the believers; more of a reminder of what the Salaf were upon and more patient. This is what I think of him and I praise no one over Allaah. So how bad is your situation?


On the authority of Abu Hurayrah, from Allaah's Messenger, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, who said, “When one of you looks to one who has been favoured over him in wealth or appearance, let him look to one who is lower than himself as opposed to one who favoured over him"2


On the authority of Khabbaab, Allaah's Messenger, sallallaahu ‘alayhi sallam said: “Amongst those who came before you, a man would be sawn in half, but that would not cause him to abandon his religion"3


I advise the Muslims to have patience for the sake of Allaah. Have patience and Allaah will compensate you. And know that with every hardship comes two reliefs, as Allaah said,

"So verily, with the hardship, there is relief, (5) Verily, with the hardship, there is relief (i.e. there is one hardship with two reliefs, so one hardship cannot overcome two reliefs). (6)"
[Sooratush-Sharh 94:5-6]

The scholars have explained that first relief comes when Allaah removes the hardship. The second comes in the hereafter when the slave meets Allaah and is rewarded for his patience. This is in addition to the fact that Allaah grants leadership to his slaves due to their patience and their firm faith, as Allaah says,

"And We made from among them (Children of Israel), leaders, giving guidance under Our Command, when they were patient and used to believe with certainty in Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.). (24)"
[Sooratus-Sajdah 32:24]

As for my affair, indeed it is a blessed one; for patience is the fruit of proper belief in Allaah, the mighty majestic and his qadr. Due to it a slave knows that (a) nothing comes to him of good or evil except that which Allaah has decreed for him, (b) Allaah is in full control of all of the affairs, (c) that Allaah does not burden any soul beyond what it can bear.


On the authority of Sa'd ibn Abee Waqqaas, Allaah’s Messenger, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said, “The most severely tried amongst mankind are the Prophets; then those that are most like them, then those that are most like them. The people are tried according to their level of faith..." 4



So be patient with the trails of life, may Allaah bless you, and look for your reward with Allaah, the mighty and majestic. Put your trust in Allaah while acting within the legislated parameters. This is the path to success. May the prayers and peace be upon Muhammad, his family and Companions, ameen.

So be patient (O Muhammad SAW). Verily, the Promise of Allah is true, and ask forgiveness for your fault, and glorify the praises of your Lord in the Ashi (i.e. the time period after the midnoon till sunset) and in the Ibkar (i.e. the time period from early morning or sunrise till before midnoon) [it is said that, that means the five compulsory congregational Salat (prayers) or the 'Asr and Fajr prayers]. (55)
[Sooratul-Ghaafir 40:55]

Written by one in need of Allaah: Raha Azeezuddeen Batts

[Sheyanne]

a beautiful nasheed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTW56...eature=related

[Sheyanne]

The Simple Life of Muhammad [S]


If we compare the life of Muhamma before his mission as a prophet and his life after he began his mission as a prophet, we will conclude that it is beyond reason to think that Muhammad was a false prophet, who claimed prophethood to attain material gains, greatness, glory, or power.

Before his mission as a prophet, Muhammad had no financial worries. As a successful and reputed merchant, Muhammad drew a satisfactory and comfortable income. After his mission as a prophet and because of it, he became worse off materially. To clarify this more, let us browse the following sayings on his life:
Aa’isha, Muhammad’s wife, said, “O my nephew, we would sight three new moons in two months without lighting a fire (to cook a meal) in the Prophet’s houses.” Her nephew asked, “O Aunt, what sustained you?” She said, “The two black things, dates and water, but the Prophet had some Ansar neighbors who had milk-giving she-camels and they used to send the Prophet some of its milk.”
Sahl Ibn Sa’ad, one of Muhammad’s ] companions, said, “The Prophet of God did not see bread made from fine flour from the time God sent him (as a prophet) until he died
Aa’isha, Muhammad’s wife, said, “The mattress of the Prophet ], on which he slept, was made of leather stuffed with the fiber of the date-palm tree
Amr Ibn Al-Hareth, one of Muhammad’s ] companions, said that when the Prophet died, he left neither money nor anything else except his white riding mule, his arms, and a piece of land which he left to charity
Muhammad lived this hard life till he died although the Muslim treasury was at his disposal, the greater part of the Arabian Peninsula was Muslim before he died, and the Muslims were victorious after eighteen years of his mission.
Is it possible that Muhammad might have claimed prophethood in order to attain status, greatness, and power? The desire to enjoy status and power is usually associated with good food, fancy clothing, monumental palaces, colorful guards, and indisputable authority. Do any of these indicators apply to Muhammad ? A few glimpses of his life that may help answer this question follow.
Despite his responsibilities as a prophet, a teacher, a statesman, and a judge, used to milk his goat,mend his clothes, repair his shoeshelp with the household work,7and visit poor people when they got sick.8He also helped his companions in digging a trench by moving sand with them.9 His life was an amazing model of simplicity and humbleness.
Muhammad’s ] followers loved him, respected him, and trusted him to an amazing extent. Yet he continued to emphasize that deification should be directed to God and not to him personally. Anas, one of Muhammad’s companions, said that there was no person whom they loved more than the Prophet Muhammad ], yet when he came to them, they did not stand up for him because he hated their standing up for him,10 as other people do with their great people.
Long before there was any prospect of success for Islam and at the outset of a long and painful era of torture, suffering, and persecution of Muhammad ] and his followers, he received an interesting offer. An envoy of the pagan leaders, Otba, came to him saying, “...If you want money, we will collect enough money for you so that you will be the richest one of us. If you want leadership, we will take you as our leader and never decide on any matter without your approval. If you want a kingdom, we will crown you king over us...” Only one concession was required from Muhammad in return for that, to give up calling people to Islam and worshipping God alone without any partner. Wouldn’t this offer be tempting to one pursuing worldly benefit? Was Muhammad hesitant when the offer was made? Did he turn it down as a bargaining strategy leaving the door open for a better offer? The following was his answer: {In the Name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful} And he recited to Otba the verses of the Quran 41:1-38.11 The Following are some of these verses:
] A revelation from (God), the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful; a Book whereof the verses are explained in detail; a Quran in Arabic, for people who know, giving good news and warning, yet most of them turn away, so they do not listen. ] (Quran, 41:2-4)
On another occasion and in response to his uncle’s plea to stop calling people to Islam, Muhammad’s answer was as decisive and sincere: {I swear by the name of God, O Uncle!, that if they place the sun in my right-hand and the moon in my left-hand in return for giving up this matter (calling people to Islam), I will never desist until either God makes it triumph or I perish defending it.}12
Muhammad and his few followers did not only suffer from persecution for thirteen years but the unbelievers even tried to kill Muhammad several times. On one occasion they attempted to kill him by dropping a large boulder, which could barely be lifted, on his head.13 Another time they tried to kill him by poisoning his food.14 What could justify such a life of suffering and sacrifice even after he was fully triumphant over his adversaries? What could explain the humbleness and nobility which he demonstrated in his most glorious moments when he insisted that success is due only to God’s help and not to his own genius? Are these the characteristics of a power-hungry or a self-centered man?

[Sheyanne]

Some of the troops are waking up...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-CpCUOygqU

[Sheyanne]

Dangers of Excess, Extremism among Muslims
Allah says in the Quran,
“Thus we have made of you an ummah justly balanced, that you might be witnesses over the nations, and the Messenger a witness over you.” (HQ 2:143)
The Prophet (saaw) reportedly said,
“Beware of excessiveness in religion before you have perished as a result of such excessiveness in religion.” (Reported by Ahmad)
Allah states in the Quran that He,
“Intends every facility for you; He does not want to put you in difficulties”. (HQ 2:185)
“Religion,” the Prophet is reported to have said, “is very easy, and whoever overburdens himself will not be able to continue in that way. Be right (without excessiveness or negligence), near (perfection, and have good timing (in being rewarded for your regular deeds).” (Bukhari) The people of the Book were warned: ” O people of the Book, commit no excesses in your religion, nor say of Allah anything but the Truth….” 4:171. He warns the Muslims likewise: “O’ you who believe! Make not unlawful the good things, which Allah has made lawful for you, and commit no excess; for Allah loves not those given to excess.” (HQ 5:87)
Until recently Muslims in America have been spared much of the tradition-bound and sectarian division that have led to violent oppression and fratricidal warfare among various Muslim proponents, leading often to mutual slaughter, “In the Name of Allah.”
Distortions of Ahadith
Allah forbid that they should invoke His Name or the name of the Prophet as “partners” in their mutual disputes and violence. These are “inventions against Allah’s Name.” Just as the early pagans and their partners acted, making “alluring the slaughter of their children in order to lead them to their own destruction and cause confusion in their religion.” Allah warned them that “He will requite them for their ‘invention.” (HQ: 5:137-8)
Unfortunately this “traditional baggage” has now entered into the ethos of the Islamic growth in America, where we find innocent Muslims being caught up in the negligence and excesses of the worldwide ‘Ummah” following them in their schisms, ranging from claims of “sacred” cultural mores to disputes of the interpretation of the Sunnah (and ahadith) of the Prophet (saaw), to claims of the supremacy of ahadith over the Quran. Allah, Forbid! Then we now have claims of supremacy of one “School of Thought” over the others. And again claims of supremacy of one community over the other in the knowledge of Quran and Sunnah. How are we caught up in this?
Allah forbid.
We fear that we stand in great danger of going the way of societies before us unless we pause and take heed to Allah’s command:
“hold fast all together, by the rope which Allah stretches to you, and be not divided among yourselves…” (HQ 3:103)
Allah has warned: “And obey and His Messenger; and fall not into disputes, lest you lose heart and your power depart…” (HQ 8:47) Allah warns in another Ayah: “(their doom is) because Allah sent down the Book in truth but those who seek cause of dispute in the Book are in schism, far (from the purpose).” (HQ 2:176). As He said of the People of the Book: “there is among them a section who distort the book with their tongues. You think that it is a part of the book, but it is no part of the book, and they say, “This is from Allah, but it is not from Allah. It is they who tell a lie against Allah.” (HQ 3:48)
Muslims in America
Should not Muslims in America reflect upon the relevant examples in the Quran? Why should Muslims in America take on the historic and manifest failures of the ummah, following their manifestations of divisions and disputations over this or that fatwah, this or that purported hadith, in contradistinction of another? Muslim opponents have taken delight in this and have come to mock the Muslims in America and elsewhere for these circus-like conflicts. Should Muslim in America become partisans to these conflicts between proponent of the so-called schools of thought, or to the Sunni/Shii disputes (and more recently, Allah forbid: Sunnah v. Quran conflicts.)
When these parties are question about their circus-like tendencies and the exaltation of traditions canonized by their fathers, they retort to reckless slander: charging that the people who question them do not believe in the Sunnah. At the other extreme there are those who reject, out of hand, the Quranically confirmed traditions of the Prophet (saaw) (i.e. where the sayings and actions of the Prophet are underpinned by an overriding principle that has been, beforehand, clearly established in the Quran—-an example being Salat.)
Thus we should be careful not fall in the trap laid by the evil seducer, Shaitan, himself, who
“whispers, then withdraws—then comes later as an arbitrator to settle the disputes with cunning and flowery speech. Let us not be deceived, nor think that we can out-flank Shaitan while indulging in the schisms he sets up. Allah says that Shaitan “and his tribe watches you from a position where you cannot see them…” (7:27)
Cannot we see that these forged disputes are an attempt to move the innocent Muslim away from his commitment to take in the orphan, to feed the poor, to clothe the naked, to feed the homeless, and to build a balanced community? His “religion” has thus become one of criticizing and attacking Muslims with whom he differs, often on insignificant issues. Unfortunately from these individual differences, exploited as such, grows the seeds of sectarianism and shirk, followed by fitnah (subversion and rebellion). This is shameful, indeed!
“He Has No Partners”
Let us beware: Remember those before us who took idols, angels, and even prophets, making them partners with Allah and equal in the Godhead. They began to mention their names at every mention of the Name of Allah.
“When Allah the One and Only is mentioned the hearts of those who believe not in the Hereafter are filled with disgust and horror; but when (gods) other than He are mentioned behold they are filled with joy!” (HQ 39:45)
Think of the case of Issa, (saaw) They began by declaring stories (ahadith) written about him, such as the ‘New Testament by Mark, Luke, John and Paul) to be Divine, or in fact the Injil (Revelation) itself. Gradually, over time, they began to include Issa as a co-equal with Allah Himself. They have thrown the Injil behind their backs just as they threw the Torah behind their backs. Allah, however, has cleared His Prophet Issa (saaw) of any such charge.
May Allah be praised forever! He distinguishes His Revelation from all else. He is One. His Revelation is One. He is Allah. None is like Him. No partners, No associates. Muslims in America must be aware of the “baggage” of extremism exported to North America as legitimate Sunnah and fiqh. This “baggage” is propagated by zealots (innocent and otherwise) who insistently accuse others of “bid’ah” (innovation in religion), wantonness, unbelief and deviation. They are known to claim piety for themselves, exalt the Sunnah over the Quran and engage others in endless arguments.
Hair Splitting
Imam al Nawawi reported that the Prophet (saaw) repeated three times:
“Ruined are the people who indulged in hair-splitting.”
Thus it is important to identify the mode operandi of these mercenaries because of the harm they bring to the innocent Muslims in America.
We find that they make a grandiose show of their recital of selected ahadith in Arabic; often daif (weak) or highly contextual in time and circumstance. Their display of their “erudition” is supposed to confirm their “hikma” (wisdom or implied piety) in the Deen (Al-Islam). Yet Sincerity lies in the heart and breast.
They make an impressive show of embellishing their arguments with Arabic, particularly to the new Muslims who understand little more than As-Salaam-Alaikum and Al-Faatihah. Yes, it IS time for the (balanced) Muslim communities to put a stop to the purveyors of deliberate confusion and disunity.
Please note: In no way does this imply that learning to read and recite the Quran in Arabic is not essential to the deeper understanding and practice of our Deen. IT IS, and Muslims must strive to acquit themselves, especially in the study of Quranic Arabic. No excuse, however, can be given to those whose intent is to obfuscate. (HQ: 3:78)
Waht Must Be Done?
What then must be done? How may we express our differences? How do we correct a wrong? We take note here of the utter abuse and misapplication of the reported Hadith of the Prophet (saaw) i.e.: to correct a wrong with your hand, your heart or your tongue.
Often lacking adequate knowledge, we tear into others with the belief that our particular perspective or rendering of an issue, ritual, or interpretation of Hadith or Quran is unquestionably right or authentic.
This crude approach often masks, or excuses an aggressive, ill-reasoned action or response to something we differ about that has long been in question, even at the highest levels of the scholarly ummah over the centuries. Another over-worked hadith is that the scholar is “worth more than a thousand ignorant worshippers.” In most cases it is exalted by those whose scholarship has become the end goal, rather than the means.
Scholarship / Dialogue
It (scholarship) has become the objective, and not for the pleasure of Allah. Allah is no longer the goal of such pursuers, but sophistic scholarship is! Thus we have fallen into disputes of the so-called “learned”: like that of Western Philosophers, i.e.: “How many angels can sit on the head of a pin?”
These “extremes,’” among the literate and the illiterate becomes a perverse “religion”. Yet they understand not. Allah knows best: whenever we begin to exalt anything as equal to Him or His Words (Guarded Revelations), then we are truly gravitating toward Shirk. Let us consider the advice found on page 428 of the Encyclopedia of Seerah, (vol. 6)
The author writes:
“If there is any difference of opinion, it cannot be on the Truth of the Quran and its Message, which is one and the same for all time. If there is a difference among Muslims, it can only be in their imperfect understanding of the Quran and its Message; but if this difference of opinion is within limits of acceptable interpretations, it is not bad nor evil, nor is it dangerous or injurious to the collective. If however, people go beyond the acceptable limits and start arguing on a political, sectarian, or sophistic basis (for argument sake) then there is no cure for such disputes and wrongdoing.”
The Way of the Companions
The different opinions of the companions of the Prophets, were of the former (above). This type of difference is called a mercy. But if these differences or details are considered as al-din (compulsory) and made the means of dispute between different sections of people, then even this type of difference becomes condemned.
Truth is only the Quran and people’s opinions are only opinions, and as such may be right or wrong.
According to Ibn Kathir, Allah’s Prophet disliked these things: “first, unnecessary disputes and arguments, questioning and inquiring without any need, and wastage off wealth.”
Having grown weak from disputes, many Muslims have lost their sense of purpose in bringing glad tidings to the believers and warning the rulers and citizens of the land, both yesterday and today. They are content to rail, and mock, becoming obsessed with simply calling others “Kafir.” They exhibit little evidence of dawah, such as feeding the poor, or working collectively with any Muslim community to establish a good life in society.
Rather they are bent upon trying to “convert” the converted. They demonstrate a lack of Iman by raising doubts of others. Could this be hypocrisy, in disguise? Could this be subversion, in disguise? Allah Knows.
Muslims are obligated to warn and to argue in the best manner, i.e.: (words, manners, and conduct). Furthermore Muslims are obligated to call for justice, for the release of the slave, for the feeding of the hungry, for the housing of the homeless and for the sharing of wealth., The Muslims must warn against Riba, against arrogance, against mis-education, against waste and lack of economic productivity. Cannot we hear? Cannot we understand? Do we not know that we have Watchers over our souls?
Imam Ghayth Nur Kashif

[HesMyForever]

Asalaamu alaikum...

I'm so excited...Ramadan is less than a month away! How are you preparing for it? I'm doing a bunch of reading and listening to lectures about Ramadan. Insh'Allah, I will share that info with you all.

Here is one thing I found on FB:

"In a well-known hadith, the Prophet (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said that during Ramadan devils are locked up. Why, then, do we still have bad thoughts? It is a common question. Scholars say that these thoughts originate from our own souls battered by Satanic whisperings and devices implanted in us. A...nother blessing of Ramadan now becomes apparent. It is a time to see what has happened to our soul, what condition it is in, and take notice of our shortcomings: jealousy, envy, overzealous competition, love of gossip, and the rest. During Ramadan, these traits become clear, and a clear enemy is easier to defeat than a slinking one. -UNKNOWN"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZfyP...layer_embedded

Also, I'm hoping to organize a Ramadan/Eid card swap here at PTO, if I can figure out how to set it up. I will keep you posted on that, insh'Allah.

I also wanted to share this "Ramadan Checklist" I came across on FB.

[Sheyanne]

Older manuscripts found in Palestine says nothing abot Jesus[p.b.u.h.] being God

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flafC8VDhms

[Sheyanne]

Some nice nasheeds

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7Vez...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRh3m...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awhm5...eature=related

[HesMyLife01]

Originally Posted by HesMyForever

Salaam (Peace),

It is wonderful to have you here. If there are any specific questions you have, feel free to post them here, or PM me or one of the other sisters on the board. We have a few other good threads in the Spiritual Connection Resources forum as well...particularly a great Islamic videos thread. I want to thank you on your willingness to learn and be open-minded....not all people are. It is much appreciated. I hope to see you around, insh'Allah (God-willing).

Salaam,
Aakifah

Thank you very much! I will definately PM you if I have any questions. I know a Muslim that I e-mail and he knows my fiance. I have asked him some questions. We are not able to get an Imam to come on July 22nd to marry us, so the Chaplain is going to do it, then an Imam will come do a Muslim wedding later. I am very open-minded. I love my fiance very much, so I am willing to accept his religion. I looked up some things online so I have some knowledge. I know there are stereotypes about Muslims. I had a few concerns at first. Anyways, I will definately be posting on here and hope to learn more.

[HesMyLife01]

Originally Posted by HesMyForever

Salaam (Peace),

It is wonderful to have you here. If there are any specific questions you have, feel free to post them here, or PM me or one of the other sisters on the board. We have a few other good threads in the Spiritual Connection Resources forum as well...particularly a great Islamic videos thread. I want to thank you on your willingness to learn and be open-minded....not all people are. It is much appreciated. I hope to see you around, insh'Allah (God-willing).

Salaam,
Aakifah

Thanks. Well, I got married July 22nd. Still learning about the religion. I keep in contact with an Imam..so I ask him things when I have a question. I will also keep in contact with this forum. I am open minded..I love him!! I think that if you love someone, you should accept them for who they are.

[HesMyForever]

Originally Posted by HesMyLife01

Thanks. Well, I got married July 22nd. Still learning about the religion. I keep in contact with an Imam..so I ask him things when I have a question. I will also keep in contact with this forum. I am open minded..I love him!! I think that if you love someone, you should accept them for who they are.

Awwww...Mabrouk!!! (congrats) May Allah (SWT) bless your marriage, Ameen.

There are numerous posts throughout this forum (not just this specific thread). Will you be fasting (or attempting to) during Ramadan this year? Have been to the masjid (mosque)? Have you met any sisters? Sorry for all the questions. lol If you haven't met any sisters yet, I would recommend asking the Imam if he can get you in touch with some. Just a suggestion.

[HesMyLife01]

Originally Posted by HesMyForever

Awwww...Mabrouk!!! (congrats) May Allah (SWT) bless your marriage, Ameen.

There are numerous posts throughout this forum (not just this specific thread). Will you be fasting (or attempting to) during Ramadan this year? Have been to the masjid (mosque)? Have you met any sisters? Sorry for all the questions. lol If you haven't met any sisters yet, I would recommend asking the Imam if he can get you in touch with some. Just a suggestion.

Well, I don't think I will be fasting. Never been to the Mosque. And no, haven't met any sisters. All the questions are okay..lol! I have a friend here on pto that is a sister, but haven't met any in person. I might have to call the Imam and ask him. On our picnic visit, he prayed before we ate, and I wouldn't do it. I made him kind of mad at me, but I tried to explain that since I am learning about his religion, I just didn't know how to act saying a Muslim prayer. It wasn't a long prayer though. During fasting, what goes on? Do you have to go without food the whole time, or what?

[HesMyForever]

Originally Posted by HesMyLife01

Well, I don't think I will be fasting. Never been to the Mosque. And no, haven't met any sisters. All the questions are okay..lol! I have a friend here on pto that is a sister, but haven't met any in person. I might have to call the Imam and ask him. On our picnic visit, he prayed before we ate, and I wouldn't do it. I made him kind of mad at me, but I tried to explain that since I am learning about his religion, I just didn't know how to act saying a Muslim prayer. It wasn't a long prayer though. During fasting, what goes on? Do you have to go without food the whole time, or what?

Salaam. Well, that's fine about the fasting...I know some women that are married to Muslim men choose to fast (but, this is usually in a situation where the husband isn't incarcerated; and they do it out of consideration...after all, it can be hard to fast when those around you are eating). I would definitely recommend getting to know some sisters...either online, but IRL as well. This way, when you feel comfortable to attend the masjid (if you choose to do so), you will know some people and won't feel out-of-place, so to speak (guests are always welcome at the masjid). When I was learning about Islam a few years back, I called the local masjid and set up a time to go talk to one of the Imams and his wife....I went, and we sat and talked for two hours! They answered my questions, and gave me some reading material. A few months later when I was comfortable with it, I went back to observe the Jum'ah service/prayer (on Friday), and it was nice because I already knew the one sister, so I didn't feel awkward (altho, I was warmly welcomed, so that also helped). Btw, I don't blame you for not participating in the prayer...that is completely understandable. I have a great video I will send you that teaches how to perform the prayer (in case you ever need it ). To answer your question about Ramadan.... Let me explain first why we fast..... First and foremost, we fast during Ramadan because it is commanded by Allah (SWT) in the Qur'an: "The month of Ramadân in which was revealed the Qur'ân, a guidance for mankind and clear proofs for the guidance and the criterion (between right and wrong). So whoever of you sights (the crescent on the first night of) the month (of Ramadân i.e. is present at his home), he must observe Saum (fasts) that month..." [The Qur'an 2:185] Fasting is to teach us self-restraint; to remind us to be thankful to Allah (SWT) for the many blessings we have; and to remind us to help those that are less-fortunate than ourselves. Basically, the nite before we fast, we make the intention in our heart to fast the next day. Then, the next morning we wake up before sunrise and eat a meal called "suhoor" (breakfast, basically), and it's encouraged we drink lots of water at this time. Then we offer our morning (fajr) prayer and then our fast begins. The fast includes abstaining from food, AND liquids; we can't chew gum either, or take medication (any meds we need to take should be taken before the fast begins). We also abstain from foul language, smoking (if you're a smoker) and intimate relations with our spouse. At sunset, we will break fast...typically with a date (or some other fruit) and some water, followed by our evening (maghrib) prayer, and then we eat a meal we call "iftar." That night, we make the intention again, in our heart, to fast the next day. Most masjids will have a community iftar, at least once a week. This is why I was asking if you've been to the masjid yet; this would be a great opportunity for you to go and meet some sisters, and enjoy some yummy food, and increase knowledge on Islam. A woman cannot fast on her cycle (it's considered a mercy on us because we need our nutrition at that time of month). She will have to make up the days she misses, at a later date (most do so during the month of Shalwal, which is the month following Ramadan). Other people are also exempt from fasting...like those that have medical reasons that they are not able to fast (however, they should still try to abstain from foul language, smoking, etc). Those that cannot fast for medical reasons are required to feed one poor person per day for each day they can't fast. There is some more information on Ramadan and fasting (including medical benefits) at this thread: http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/sho...87#post5558887 Hope you find this helpful. Salaam, Aakifah

[Sheyanne]

Baby, it's all good! - A modern hijab poem
Author unknown
What do you see when you look at me
Do you see someone limited, or someone free
All some people can do is just look and stare
Simply because they can't see my hair
Others think I am controlled and uneducated
They think that I am limited and un-liberated
They are so thankful that they are not me
Because they would like to remain 'free'
Well free isn't exactly the word I would've used
Describing women who are cheated on and abused
They think that I do not have opinions or voice
They think that being hooded isn't my choice
They think that the hood makes me look caged
That my husband or dad are totally outraged
All they can do is look at me in fear
And in my eye there is a tear
Not because I have been stared at or made fun of
But because people are ignoring the One up above
On the day of judgment they will be the fools
Because they were too ashamed to play by God's rules
Maybe the guys won't think I am a cutie
But at least I am filled with more inner beauty
See I have declined from being a guy's toy
Because I won't let myself be controlled by a boy
Real men are able to appreciate my mind
And aren't busy looking at my behind
Hooded girls are the ones really helping the Muslim cause
The role that we play definitely deserves applause
I will be recognized because I am smart and bright
And because some people are inspired by my sight
The smart ones are attracted by my tranquility
In the back of their mind they wish they were me
We have the strength to do what we think is right
Even if it means putting up a life long fight
You see we are not controlled by a mini skirt and tight shirt
We are given only respect, and never treated like dirt
So you see, we are the ones that are free and liberated
We are not the ones that are sexually terrorized and violated
We are the ones that are free and pure
We're free of STD's that have no cure
So when people ask you how you feel about the hood
Just sum it up by saying, 'Baby its all good'

[SexyChef1]

As Salaam Alaikum,

Wow I havent been on here in months, seems like last time I was here it was Ramadan and once again Ramadan is soon approaching. Stay strong all.

[SOLLIAH]

Can u explain to me the right of a muslim man to have more than one wife? The belief behind this? As well as the purpose and belief behind Ramadan? My man is Muslim and I am truly interested in the religion and the beliefs. No prejudice just want to understand. Is it wrong to not want to share ur husband?

[HesMyForever]

Originally Posted by LEONLILMAMA

Can u explain to me the right of a muslim man to have more than one wife? The belief behind this? As well as the purpose and belief behind Ramadan? My man is Muslim and I am truly interested in the religion and the beliefs. No prejudice just want to understand. Is it wrong to not want to share ur husband?

Salaam (Peace),

First question...about the polygyny. First of all, it's not an obligation to practices polygyny...it's just an option that is permitted. The reason behind this that it's actually considered a mercy on the woman (and a hardship on the man). Less than 2% of the Muslim population worldwide practices polygyny.

See...typically, women outlive men (due to illness, accidents, war)...but it's the man's duty to provide for the women. (In Islam, a woman is not obligated to pay any of the bills...if she does out of her own choice, it's considered a charity on her part). But, because women tend to outlive men, if men weren't able to take more than one wife, we would have a lot of women living alone, trying to provide for themselves (and their children, if they have any). Not to mention, they would not have a partner to be intimate with. Now, there are stipulations...a man that takes on more than one wife (he can only have 4 wives), has to be able to provide for both equally. That means, if he gets one wife a house, he has to get the other wife a house. Keep in mind, it is not her duty to pay bills, so he has to be able to really afford to keep more than one wife...in this economy...good luck with that! Secondly, ideally, the only reason he should marry more than one wife is if one (or more of the wives) is ill, infertile, a widow, unable to provide for herself, etc...basically, it's supposed to be a charity done for her (and for the sake of Allah). Of course, if a husband does take more than one wife...having to provide (and treat) his wives fairly and equally...that IS a hardship on a man. Lastly, technically in America, we should not practice polygyny...as Muslims, we are to follow the laws of the land we live in (unless they specifically go against Islamic teachings...i.e. if the gov't tried to prevent us from reading Qur'an), and since polygyny is not obligatory, there is really no reason it should be done in America. (That doesn't mean that it doesn't happen....it does...but technically we shouldn't).

One last thing to just think about...how many men in our society have girlfriends on the side; or "mistresses," etc....and then have children by these women....these women have no rights to this man; the man is not obligated to provide for this woman (maybe the child, but not the woman). Isn't it better for their relationship to be legal, as in marriage, so that the man IS required to provide for this woman (and any children they may have?)

Now, your second question about Ramadan....we fast during the month of Ramadan first and foremost because it is commanded by Allah (SWT) in the Qur'an.

Allah (SWT) says:

The month of Ramadân in which was revealed the Qur'ân, a guidance for mankind and clear proofs for the guidance and the criterion (between right and wrong). So whoever of you sights (the crescent on the first night of) the month (of Ramadân i.e. is present at his home), he must observe Saum (fasts) that month. [The Qur'an 2:185]

We fast because, 1. it teaches self-restraint; 2. it helps us to be thankful to Allah (SWT) for the many blessings we have; and 3. it reminds us we should always try to help those that are less-fortunate than ourselves.

We fast from sunrise to sunset, every day, during Ramadan. At sunset, we break the fast with usually a date (or some other fruit) and water, then we pray, and then eat a meal. The fast includes abstaining from food (this includes chewing gum), liquids (not even allowed to have water); and intimacy with one's spouse (kissing is permitted tho), during the hours between sunrise and sunset. Some people are exempt from fasting, such as the elderly; the sick; children. Women that are on their cycle can't fast during that time, but have to make it up at a later date (this is a mercy on us, 'cuz we need our nutrition at that time). Women that are pregnant can choose if they feel up to fasting or not; but if they choose not to, they will have to make it up after the baby is born. I think that pretty much covers everything I can think of.

I hope this was helpful, and if you have any other q's, feel free to ask.

As Salaam Alaikum, Wow I havent been on here in months, seems like last time I was here it was Ramadan and once again Ramadan is soon approaching. Stay strong all.

Walaikum asalaam! Welcome back to this part of PTO. How are you? Insh'Allah, all is well.

[HesMyLife01]

Hey everyone! I am learning about Islamic religion. My husband is Muslim. Here are some things I found online that I thought were interesting.

10 Tips on How to Be a Successful Husband

1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good.When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

2. Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to 'bug' him. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives - radi Allahu 'anhunn. It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.

6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be; thank her!

7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.

8. Don't belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah - radi Allahu 'anha - was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

9. Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would race his wife Aisha - radi Allahu 'anha - in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam: "The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family." Try to be the best!

In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah - azza wa jall - to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta'ala knows best !!

What is a Husband ?
by Dr. Marwaan Al-Qaisee
Source: Al-Asaalah Magazine. Translator: isma'eel alarcon

Guidelines for the Husband in Interacting with his Wife

The family is that brick which forms the foundation of a society. It is composed of individuals that have permanent relations established between them. Most importantly, it possesses almost a majority of the different kinds of personal relations.
Because of this, there must be certain etiquettes placed in order to control and regulate these relations. This is such that it can be maintained in the best possible manner, and so that it can generate and produce its proper fruits.

Family relations consist of the relationship between the spouses from one perspective, the relationship between the parents and the children from a second perspective, and the relationship between the children themselves from a third perspective.

Etiquettes of the husband: It is not from the deficiencies, but rather from good manners, that the husband shares in the responsibility of specified matters, such as the mending of garments or what is similar to that.

It is appropriate for a man to not restrict himself from serving himself. This is since the wife takes care of the household affairs. So therefore, it is from good manners that the husband extend a helping hand to his wife in the house, during times of necessity, such as when she is sick, pregnant, has given birth or similar to that.

The exemplary husband is he who cooperates with his wife by bearing good relations and showing kind manners (to her), according to the full extent of the meaning contained in these (last) two expressions. Truly, the husbands who are best at working alongside their wives are the best of mankind in the view of Islaam. This good way of living between the spouses must be deeply imbedded into the daily marital life, even at the time of divorce.

Beware of characterizing the relationship between the spouses with over-seriousness! For indeed characterizing the family life with a militaristic nature amounts to one of the causes for failure and bad results.

From the kind and noble manners of the husband is that he complies and assents to the requests of his wife, so long as they are not forbidden in the Religion. And being luxurious in food, drink and clothing is at the entrance of matters forbidden in the Religion.

The husband should specify a time in which he can play around and pass free time with his wife.

The relationship between the spouses must contain one singular and specific nature. And it cannot be this way unless the couple begins demolishing all the obstacles and impediments that stand between them. For example, the husband should not feel timid and restrain himself from drinking out of the same cup that his wife drinks out of.

There is no human being that is perfect. So there is no doubt that the husband will see things in his wife that does not comply with his natural disposition and preferences. If these aspects are not in opposition to the fundaments of the Religion or to the obedience of the husband and his rights, then at that point, he should not try to change her personality so that it complies with his natural preference.

A Wife
A lecture by Sheikh Abdullah Adhami

By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.

She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you; when you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice.

She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for some time she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.

The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur'anic verse which says: "They are your garments and you are their garments." (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187). Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans.

Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey.

The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala,
"And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions of your own nature ..." (Surah Al Nahl 16:72)

Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur'an,

"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)
But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for.

Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.

Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She outran him but later after she had gained some weight, he outran her. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating. Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said

"One would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife"

Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife's mouth, opening the car door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel.

Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will always result in having more peace at home.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up, even by splashing cold water on his/her face.

Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said,
"The best of you are those who are best to their wives"

Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don't be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife's parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her "I don't like your parents." Naturally she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said, "I don't like yours either." Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.

The best example in this regard is the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam whose love for Khadija, his wife of 25 years, extended to include all those she loved; this love of his continued even after her death.

It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija's family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija's sister Hala, he would pray saying, "O Allah let it be Hala."

[HesMyLife01]

I will now proceed to explain the rightful duties of the wife:

1. She has to look after the comfort of her husband, give him due respect and always have regard for his feelings.

2.She has to safeguard the honour of her husband.

3.She has to be the guardian of the property of her husband.

4.She has to rear and bring up their children properly.

5.She should treat the relatives of her husband as if they were her own relatives.

6.She should beautify herself for her husband.

7.She should bear in mind the tastes of her husband in the matter of food and dress.

8.She should be ever mindful of her husband's health.

9.She should give her most sincere advice when her husband consults her in any of
his problems.

10.She should not make unfair and unreasonable demands on the purse of her
husband.

11.She has to remain loyal to her husband under all conditions and be a source of
strength to him in adverse circumstances and stick fast to him through thick and thin.

12.She should be careful that the dignity and reputation of her husband are not harmed by any of her actions.

13.Under all conditions her behavior should be conducive to peace and tranquility in the house.


The rightful duties of the husband are:

1.He should respect and be very mindful of the susceptibilities of his wife.

2.He should try to be a source of comfort to his wife and behave in a manner that convinces her that she alone is the centre of his love and affection.

3.He should provide for all her reasonable needs and keeping within his means and should be disposed to spending in that respect with an open hand.

4.The husband should participate in the management of the house by giving hand in the household chores of his spouse.

5.He should look after her health and be always anxious about it.

6.He should refrain from keeping a close watch over every movement of his wife as if
he had no confidence in her and thus making her life miserable.

7.He should always be disposed to overlooking the minor shortcomings of his wife and be generous in forgiving and forgeting.

8.He should see that trifles do not lead to a situation in which tempers are lost and threats of divorce and separation are pronounced.

9.He should shun every act or act which is likely to displease or agonise his wife.

10.The husband should display a sense of utmost sympathy towards his wife when
she is in distress or has met with some misfortune.

11.He should not object to his wife meeting her relatives provided no mischief is feared from their side. He should also be respectful to them.

12.He should consult his wife in all family matters of importance and handle the situation as decided by mutual consent.


Ten ways to achieve lasting love

Since marital love is prone to sickness and even death, it is imperative for couples to constantly work to revitalize and preserve it.
Husbands and wives must do the following:

1. They have to get in the habit of saying things that are positive, like offering compliments and like making little prayers for each other.
A husband could say to his wife: “If I were sent back to the days of my youth, I would not choose for a wife anyone besides you.” Of course, the wife can easily say something similar to her husband.
Affectionate words have an effect, especially on women. They have, indeed, often been the weapons used by unscrupulous men to gain access to what is not theirs.
Sweet words arouse a woman’s heart. A husband should take care to say them to his wife before someone else does.

2. Husbands and wives have to get into the habit of doing those little things that mean so much. If a man comes home to find his wife asleep, he can cover her and tuck her into bed.
A husband can give his wife a call from work just to say hello and to let her know that he is thinking about her.
If a wife finds that her husband has fallen asleep, she can give him a little kiss on the forehead, even if she thinks that he will not be aware of it. Indeed, on some level his senses are working even though he is asleep and he may very well be aware of it.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) emphasized the value of these little things, “…even the morsel of food that you place in your wife’s mouth…” [Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim]
It may very well be that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was alluding to the expenditure of a man for his wife’s needs. Nonetheless, the Prophet (peace be upon him) chose to express it in the way he did for a reason. Most importantly, this is the way the Prophet peace be upon him) conducted himself with his family.
This type of behavior is governed by the tastes of the people involved. It may take some getting used to, but it really does not take a lot of effort.
A person who is not accustomed to such things may feel embarrassed just hearing about them and may prefer to leave matters the way they are rather than try to change his behavior and do things that he might see as ridiculous.
Still, we must be willing introduce new habits into our lives if we do not want our problems to go on forever.


3. The husband and wife must set aside time to talk to each other. They should talk about the past; reminisce about the good times. Talking about them keeps them fresh in our minds as if they had happened only yesterday. They should talk about the future and share their hopes and their plans. They should also talk about the present, both the good and bad of it, and discuss different ways to solve their problems.

4. Keeping close physical contact is good for the relationship. This is not just for times of intimacy, but at all times, like when sitting in the lounge or walking down the street. This is regardless of the fact that there are still men in our society who are ashamed to have people see them walking in public with their wives at their sides.

5. Emotional support should be guaranteed whenever it is required. When the wife is pregnant or on her monthly period, she may need her husband to lend her a little moral support. He should take her mental state into consideration. Medical experts attest to the fact that when women go through pregnancy, menstruation, or postpartum bleeding, they suffer from psychological stress that can aversely affect their behavior. It is at times like these that a woman needs her husband’s support. She needs him to let her know how much she means to him and how much he needs her in his life.
Likewise, the husband might fall ill or come under a lot of difficulties. The wife must take these things into consideration. If people want their relationship to last, they must let each other feel that support.

6. There have to be some material expressions of love. Gifts should be given, sometimes without there being any occasion for it, since a pleasant surprise is always welcome. A good gift is one that expresses feelings of affection. It does not have to be expensive, but it has to be appropriate for the other’s tastes and personality; something that will be cherished.

7. The husband and wife have to learn how to be more tolerant of each other and overlook one another’s shortcomings. It should become a habit to forget about the little mistakes of daily life and not even bring them up. Silence in these trivialities is a sign of noble character.
A woman said to `A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her): “When my husband comes home, he becomes like a cat. When he goes out, he becomes like a lion. He does not ask about what might have happened.” [Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim]
Ibn Hajar explains her words as follows:
They might mean that he is very generous and tolerant. He does no make a big fuss about what goes missing of his wealth. If he brings something for the house, he dies not enquire about it later on. He does not make an issue of the shortcomings that he might see at home but instead is clement and tolerant.
It is wrong to go overboard in considering the faults of others but when it comes to ourselves, keep a running account of all our good qualities.
There is a tradition that goes: “One of you sees the dust in his brother’s eyes and forgets about the dirt in his own.”

8. A husband and wife must come to an understanding when it comes to matters of mutual concern, like the raising of children, work, travel, expenses, and problems that might pose a threat to the marital relationship.

9. Husbands and wives need to do things to liven up their relationship. Each one of them can read a book or listen to a cassette that might give them some ideas on how they can revitalize their marital life and bring more meaning to it. They can vary their habits when it comes to relaxing together, dining, taking refreshments, decorating their home, and in relating to each other both openly and intimately. These are the things that keep up the excitement and interest in a relationship.

10. The relationship must be protected from negative influences that can harm it. One of the worst of these is the habit of comparing one’s spouse to others. Many men tend to compare their wives to those of other men. Some even compare them with the faces they see in magazines and on television. Women also compare their husbands with other women’s husbands in things like wealth, looks, and how many times he takes her out. All of this makes people feel bad and insufficient and it can ruin the marital relationship.
If we must compare ourselves to others, we should do so with those who have less going for them than ourselves. Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “Look towards those who are beneath you and do not look towards those who are above you. This is better so that you do not belittle Allah’s blessings.” [Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim]
We must accustom ourselves to living in the real world and to finding contentment in what Allah has decreed for us. We should not look longingly at what others have been given. Whatever little that we have will be a lot if we utilize it well.
It is quite possible that many who speak about their marital bliss and go on boasting about their husbands and wives are untruthful in what they say. They just like to brag.
The grass often does seem greener on the other side, but only because we are not looking at it up close.

[Sheyanne]

خطبة الرّسول صلّى الله عليه وسَلم

ليْلة رَمضَان المبارك

Prophet’s Khutbah for Ramadan

It was narrated by Salman the Persian (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) delivered a khutba on the last day of Sha’ban. The Prophet said: “O you people! A great and blessed month has arrived for you. A month therein a Night which is better than one thousand months. The fasting during this month is an obligation (Fareedah) and the extra prayers during its nights are voluntary. Anyone who comes closer to Allah through a good deed during this month is as if he performed an obligatory duty (Fareedah) during times other than Ramadan. And he who fulfils an obligatory duty in it will be like one who fulfils seventy obligatory duties in another month. It is the month of patience and the the reward for patience is Paradise. It is the month of visiting the poor, the sick and the needy so as to share their sorrows. It is the month where the nourishment, the sustenance and the income of the believing Muslim increase and they are blessed.

“Anyone who invites others to break their fast at Iftar will be provided with forgiveness of his sins and be saved from Hell and will receive a reward equal to the fasting person without reducing his own reward in any respect.”

Some of the followers of the Prophet said: “Not all of us may find food to share with one so that he could break his fast.” The Prophet said: “Allah will reward you even if you help the fasting Muslim to break his fast with a date, a sip of water, or a drink of milk … it is a month: its beginning is Mercy (Rahmah) and its middle part is Forgiveness (Maghfirah) and its last part is freedom from the Hellfire. Anyone who helps a slave to be freed, Allah will forgive him and free him from Hell. Increase in yourselves four characteristics: two by which you will please your Lord, and two others by which you cannot live without. The first two qualities to please Allah are to bear witness that there is no one worthy of worship except Allah and to ask forgiveness from Allah … However, the other two things that you cannot live without are: to ask Allah for Paradise and to ask Him to protect you from Hell and fire … Anyone who gives water to a Muslim at Iftar, Allah will give him water during the Day of Judgement from the fountain of the Prophet Muhammad, which will make him not feel thirsty till he enters Paradise.”

[SexyChef1]

To answer that last part of the question...No it isnt wrong not to want to share. You arent Muslim, so you dont really understand the reasons behind polygny. Ask your mate all these question he will love that you are coming to him for guidance. Him teaching you is rewarding to him.

[SOLLIAH]

Originally Posted by Empress1

To answer that last part of the question...No it isnt wrong not to want to share. You arent Muslim, so you dont really understand the reasons behind polygny. Ask your mate all these question he will love that you are coming to him for guidance. Him teaching you is rewarding to him.

I have asked him, I guess I needed someone I had no emotional connection with. Who would give me the logic behind it. I misunderstood him and thought he felt I was not enough for him. I took it personal. I heard second wife and felt inadequate and insulted. I am truly interested in every part of this man. I just needed to understand this part and I could not get past my feelings for him to understand the reasoning behind it. I thought he wanted to have two wifes. He told me he can only handle me. He made it clear I am than enough for him. I can be a hand full emotionally, and mentally. He loves to share this side of him. Plus anything I asked. He says its his job to keep me from havin doubts. Sometimes it works. Sometimes not being able to see his face makes communication hard. We had a debate bout Why I do not look men in the eye, not him, but other men. For me its to intimate. At first he did not understand but now he does, I think he thinks its eccentric. But he understand and respects it.

[Sheyanne]

Emptiness
Truly in the heart there is a void that can not be removed except with the company of Allah. And in it there is a sadness that can not be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and being true to Him. And in it thereis an emptiness that can not be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness

[HesMyForever]

Originally Posted by LEONLILMAMA

I have asked him, I guess I needed someone I had no emotional connection with. Who would give me the logic behind it. I misunderstood him and thought he felt I was not enough for him. I took it personal. I heard second wife and felt inadequate and insulted. I am truly interested in every part of this man. I just needed to understand this part and I could not get past my feelings for him to understand the reasoning behind it. I thought he wanted to have two wifes. He told me he can only handle me. He made it clear I am than enough for him. I can be a hand full emotionally, and mentally. He loves to share this side of him. Plus anything I asked. He says its his job to keep me from havin doubts. Sometimes it works. Sometimes not being able to see his face makes communication hard. We had a debate bout Why I do not look men in the eye, not him, but other men. For me its to intimate. At first he did not understand but now he does, I think he thinks its eccentric. But he understand and respects it.

I hope that my answer above was a bit helpful then, insh'Allah.
I'm glad that he has helped put your concerns at ease.
As for the not looking men in the eye....remind him that Allah (SWT) tells us in the Qur'an that we (both men and women) should lower our gaze. So, it should not be considered "eccentric"...(even tho by American societal standards it may seem to be).

Sheyanne wrote:
Emptiness
Truly in the heart there is a void that can not be removed except with the company of Allah. And in it there is a sadness that can not be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and being true to Him. And in it thereis an emptiness that can not be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness

Masha'Allah, that was beautiful sis....jazak'Allah khair for sharing that!