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Teardrop · #51 03-08-2003, 11:54 AM

YOU GO!!!!!!:fb: I am tired of being ashamed that my husband is in prison, tired of people making rude comments. Recently my son said his first word "DA DA" and a so called friend rolled her eyes and said "Can you say Da Da is in prison?" Can you believe that???????? I have never been so hurt and humaliated! I am not on welfare, I work hard everyday, all day to raise my son on my own. We are good people too!

Flowerchild · #52 03-18-2003, 11:26 AM

This has been an interesting thread for me. When I found out that my ex-husband was in prison last spring I hadn't seen or spoken to him in over 30 years & I STILL felt stigmatized! I was appalled when I received my first letter from him stamped "Inmate Mail" because I live in a small community & directly across the street from the postmistress & I knew that it would soon be common knowledge that I was writing to someone in prison. Then after we corresponded for a time & I began to realize that he'd evolved into someone that any thinking, feeling person would be proud to know, I wanted to be able to talk about him & share some of what I was learning about his situation & prisons in general but feared to do so beyond with a very trusted few. I've been terribly uncomfortable feeling that I need to be secretive about my relationship with a convict (especially at work) but am rapidly gaining courage because I'm beginning to believe that it might well be these very feelings of shame that allow this abusive system to continue. I believe that there are precious few people in our society that care in the least what goes on behind prison walls until they have a personal involvement with someone who is suffering there & that's why it's up to us raise our voices to compel a more compassionate method of dealing with incarcerated people & their families. It can & must be done.

And you are certainly right, Teardrop, when you said "so called friend." That comment was made by a cruel & thoughtless person who shouldn't be allowed near your child.

darrenzbaby · #53 03-23-2003, 03:36 PM

I love that ...not only are prisoners ,ex inmates,criminals and etc everywhere but so are there families. We need a flag just like the gay folks have. That way we can all come together , the system is holding so many down in all kinds of ways we need our own way to recognize whos on our side thru our trying times.. lets find a way to network. Its legal and I think we need a symbol, a bumper sticker..etc. Darrenzbaby

TONYGIRL · #54 03-26-2003, 04:55 PM

I don't know if any of you realize this or heard but the Mayor of Cicero, Illinois Betty Maltese went to prison in Cali in February, now this is a woman no one would think would ever go to prison, and here in Illinois especailly the Chicago Area, we have a few very important influental people who are guest of the State of Illinois. So, yes we are everywhere, because these peoples families are one of us. And you would never know it unless you read about it or saw them visiting. Where I work at, they know where my husband is because what he did has nothing to do with my job performance and I feel that it should never effect anyones job, personal life, or friendship. Because there is a saying "people in glass houses should not throw stones" you never know who know what about someone and judging someone is wrong period. It's wrong that they now put Inmate Mail on envelopes, that is invading our privacy-but always remember this, only you know you get mail and you may believe no one else does from someone in prison, but I wish I could be a fly on the wall of the post office and see if there are other letters going to other's homes. Everyone has ghost in their closets. Don't you agree?

RobertaP · #55 06-17-2003, 05:37 PM

It is mind boggleing when you think of all the things that need to be done and all that you are left with when your child is in prison. You go back to supporting him as his needs are definitely not met in prison and there is the legal expenses. Our son was incarcerated due to a diabetic episode of low blood sugar and we feel the need to try and get this overturned. Our hearts go out to all who are left at home and we must pray for one another and for the one in prison. At this point we can at least do that.

crstdrvn · #56 07-05-2003, 08:29 AM

Hmmmm....I wonder if 60 minutes or one of those other network prime time shows would be interested in how people can be organized by an internet site.

This is a huge site and very well put together. It could be easily organized into a powerful political force for reform. Just having each person email one specified political office on one specific day would speak volumes.

Then, if that event were made known to 60 minutes, it might spark their interest enough to do a show. Once the show is done, we are on our way. The show would probably bring more people to the site. It could get rolling fairly easily. (I'm sure the adminisitrators must be cringing at the potential number of hits...)

Just think how many of those 16 million don't even know we are here....

*Barbara* · #57 07-05-2003, 09:10 AM

That is a very good idea crstdrvn, I point this thread out to many people and it speaks volumes. Love Barbara

Kaleilehua151 · #58 07-06-2003, 06:13 PM

Thank you for what is well written. My family will surely appreciate that because of my past actions, and what I put them through. They all have forgiven me and they trust me again. What an awesome feeling! When I meet people, they don't beleive I was in prison for 3 1/2 years. They say I don't look like a criminal. My reply to them, "Exactly, what do criminals look like?" I did the crimes, and I had to do my time. Today I realize that family is the next important thing after God and my self. If I don't keep it in that order, I cannot be the daughter, the sister, or the mother to any of my family members. I put them through a lot, and they continued to support me in prison, no matter what. Talk about unconditional love from an inmates family! Today I'm off parole, and was given back my right to vote. I guess I just want to say to my family and other families with loved ones in prison. Thank You so much for being there and also when you gave that thing called "Tough Love."
Aloha, Kaleilehua

malibu10 · #59 07-06-2003, 11:40 PM

Subliminal messaging on tv would be good. If people knew the facts, maybe life wouldn't be made so difficult for those of us who have loved ones on the inside. Or for our loved ones who ARE inside.

malibu10 · #60 07-06-2003, 11:45 PM

I think PTO should make bumper stickers and things so we could all show our pride and love.

jewls · #61 07-07-2003, 12:42 AM

Very well said how do make a voice for ourselves and loved ones because united there is nothing we cannot accomplish or do. I have friends that are in the media and I have done live interviews in support of new props Example prop 36 I was the spokes person for Tulare Kings and Fresno County speaking to law enforcement ect. Knowledge is power and who you helps lol

kellil · #62 07-07-2003, 09:36 PM

I have to say thank you for posting this! It is so true! So many people think and say so many things about people like us but until you walk a mile in our shoes you cannot judge us. Judge not lest you be judged!
Kelli

Veronica · #63 07-14-2003, 12:37 PM

This is a great statement.

The only way we can change anything is by being a majority.

If the majority of the people want change, it will happen. That is why it is so important to be a part of the documentary I am doing for PTO and share your voice. I can understand annonimity in this day and age but the voice is the strongest.

Everyone please consider contributing a story or a comment.

Thanks!!

MsAloha1018 · #64 09-01-2003, 07:16 PM

As we locals say in Pidgin, "RIGHT ON, BRAH!" If it's all right, may I make a copy to send to my Sweetie?
Thanks!
-sher

Kebela1 · #65 09-08-2003, 02:40 PM

Thank you for putting my feelings into print. That is something that I could never do and I thank you for this. I would like to print this out and pass it out to everyone in my town if you don't mind. Please let me know.

allybay · #66 09-08-2003, 04:29 PM

Very well said, indeed. You put into words how we all feel. Thank you!

darlia · #67 09-08-2003, 09:53 PM

I must agree you said what i feel!!

narleymarley03 · #68 09-09-2003, 12:28 AM

It looks like all the excitement with this thread died out in july until some newer members read it. Where do things stand as far as t-shirts, bumper stickers, flags, etc.? Has everyone who responed gone out and joined an advocacy group?

MsAloha1018 · #69 09-15-2003, 02:23 PM

Hey, I'm up for putting these wonderful words on a poster, a t-shirt, ANYTHING to get the word out. I would like to know what needs to be done to get the ball rolling...

StacysWar030 · #70 09-23-2003, 06:26 AM

I too am ALL for the T-shirts, fliers and bumber stickers. As I was reading this and realized this was originally posted a year ago and then died out, I was wondering the same......Has anyhting come about with making some PTO material. Are we allowed to copy this and make some T-shirts with the PTO logo on it and these words? I know a guy (real well) who has a T-shirt connection in my town and designs them himself. I could get in contact with him and he would LOVE to make T-shirts for us! The cost wouldn't be that expensive either. PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!

Stacy

sandy313 · #71 09-23-2003, 09:57 AM

CAN'T WE MAIL THIS OUT TO EVERYONE IN THE U.S. ESPECIALLY THE POLITICIANS/.

Kebela1 · #72 09-23-2003, 10:46 PM

I would love to be involved to help fight the cause, but here in Georgia I can't find much and what I can find is in Atlanta. That is a dangerous place to be after dark and thats when the meetings seem to be held. I wish I had the energy to start something in my area, but working almost 24/7 to pay for the attorney leaves me about lifeless. Does anyone know of any groups in Georgia?

LeesFree · #73 09-28-2003, 11:53 AM

Someone mentioned starting with the phone system. It's too bad we can't start a class action suit against the DOC's enmass. This would establish us as a "class" and bring a sensitive issue to a good light. I don't think anyone can argue that a mother would want to talk to a child, even if that child is in prison. When our lovedones are sentenced, we are too and our punishment (by the government) is to add money to the DOC's coffers by having to pay outrageous fees for simply phone calls.
If 60 minutes could do a story from OUR point of view rather than from a prisioners or the prisons point of view, we might just have a chance.
We are the forgotten, the invisible part of the system that no one sees. I wish we could really group together and rally for OUR rights first, which would bring us into a good light. Once we had legitimity then we could start on getting our loved ones rights looked at.
No one wants to think about prisioners, they think they are beeing coddled (which we all know is not true) but we have done nothing and are still being victimized. That would bring sympathy and would be a start.

(sorry my spelling is so bad but there is no spell check here)

reesa · #74 09-28-2003, 01:56 PM

i am constantly being inspired by all of you here at the pto. what if (i know we are all broke), but just for a moment, imagine, every member here and just two more relatives, or friends, or more, gave just 10 or 20 dollars. someone else will have to do the math as i do not know the number of member here. then we use this money for lobbying, and go to the radio stations, the tv stations, the capitol and stand up for ourselves, not unlike the black man march. we could do it and don't ever doubt that we can't. indeed it is the only way anything has ever gotten started. keep these inspiring posts coming.

Kebela1 · #75 09-29-2003, 08:35 AM

I think that is an awesome idea. Hitting the t.v. stations and the big newspapers would be such a good thing. The thing I hate the most about the news here in Georgia is that they never follow through. They were supposed to cover my sons trial.They came the first day and then it started to rain. They covered the heavy rains instead. We need to make them stand up and pay attention! Anyone having any ideas of how to get to them let me know. I am game!