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countingdayz · #76 03-21-2008, 02:25 PM

We have talked about him coming back over but it's much to risky even if he changed his name and we moved to some other town/state things can happen and he can get caught, besides I have family that are quite evil and would probably be the ones to call INS, so no I'd rather make the move to Mexico.

firedancer · #77 03-21-2008, 03:05 PM

Mandy I'm finding your story really interesting. Thanks for sharing with us. I'm in a long distance relationship, my fiance lives in Ecuador. We've been together for almost 3 years and it's been long distance the whole time. I see him 1-2 times a month because he is an international flight attendant and comes to Miami and I go see him over there cause he has a 2 day lay-over each time he comes.

I've been to Ecuador 3 times now and we are talking about getting married and I move down there next April/May when I graduate from college. In fact we are making plans for me to go next month and stay down there with him for 3 months as a sort of "trial run." I love it down there but at the same time I know I'll be giving up a lot if I move permanently down there. I don't have children so I don't have that part to think of, but my family and friends are all here. It's a tough decision to make. I'm going to see how these 3 months go and that will help us to make a better decision together of what we're going to do.

Again, thanks for sharing and I wish you the best of luck with everything!

boflipflops36 · #78 03-21-2008, 05:04 PM

yes i am wiser by alot of years. And i am not passing judgement. I just said what i would do.

zunigan · #79 03-21-2008, 09:42 PM

No way ever. Things happen and I am not willing for him to spend anymore time in prison, the 27 months he did with all the problems he had--no way ever. He is free in Mexico he would not ever be free here.

countingdayz · #80 03-21-2008, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zunigan

He is free in Mexico he would not ever be free here.

I agree 100%

Alfredo's_lady · #81 03-21-2008, 11:05 PM

If you don't mind me asking...

why was he locked up for? ilegal re-entry?

I know.
I told my man i am willing to give Mexico a try, it cant be THAT bad.
but hes suggested that we stay down there for a few years and then we will come back.. Well hes banned for life. which is sad because he has legal children here.

i don't want him to have to spend more time locked up. i would probably kill myself.. He hasn't even been sentanced yet but its not going to be a stroll in the park sentance... hes looking at a couple years (hope his lawyer can help tho!) and if it does go fed...well i'll meet him in mexico in 10 years.

Demi · #82 03-22-2008, 01:59 AM

Mandymeme,

I am so glad you are back home and able to see your kids. I can imagine how you worry about them in Mexico. Get lots of hugs and kisses.

I have to admit I'm glad your ex-husband is beginning to understand how women feel regarding child support. I think more women should share the kids in divorce cases tho I know we are the "mothers"..it seems to wake men up when they have to walk in our shoes.

My advice to you would be keep your house here if possible. The housing market is really bad now for people trying to sell. I would also like to suggest you plan on being home during the hottest summer months. I'm afraid it may be unbearable for you in July and August.

I don't know how this will all turn out but they say things are darkest just before the dawn.

Demi · #83 03-22-2008, 02:10 AM

Zunigan,

I was sorry to read about the passing of your Dad. I still have my parents but they are both in thier late 70's with failing health. I hope you are doing okay. You have my sympathy and prayers.

MandyMeMe · #84 03-22-2008, 07:23 AM

My fiance did 31 months of federal time for illegal re-entry. He is banned from the US for 20 years. However a trusted immigration attorney said that he could possible get him back in the US..no guarantees for $8,000-$11,000. That is alot of money for no guarantee. We are really considering it right now though. As he knows that life here in the states is what i really want. I would love to take the house of the market...but it's getting harder to make the
payment with a Mexican business salary.
To the lady who is considering moving to Ecuador, when visiting a foreign country on vacation..it's fun and exciting and you see new things and then you go back home to the comforts you are used to. However picking up shop and moving to another country is so different than just visiting for a few weeks..even a month, i would say is not long enough to make the choice of moving. You are wise by doing a trial run for 3 months. You will see alot of things in 3 months. Hopefully that will be long enough for you to see how life really is, before you make the plunge.

Italian · #85 03-25-2008, 01:11 PM

Alfredo's lady,
My husband did 12 years in prison and I waited for him and finally I had to make the decision to come to Mexico and I would not change it for anything. Yeah life is hard here at first but I love it I live in the country I have a nice home and we have 2 business's, one is his Autobody and the other is our English classes. We are fortunate enough to do very well here but we waited along time for it and I believe we both deserve it after putting up with the legal system in Nevada. Until I got here it was tough on him and yeah he had thoughts of jumpin the border but knew it just wasn't worth it to lose everything again after so much time in prison. We are so very happy and have no thoughts of returning to the US to live. I left everything behind but I still have the communication with my family and living the life I did while waiting for him they could not be happier for me that I finally have "the good life"! Yeah sometimes it is hard as I do not have a passport and the laws to travel by land may change in June that I will need one is going to be hard for me but I knoww if I need to get back to the States there is always a way. Life is what you make it wether here in Mexico or in the States it all has it's ups and downs. Good Luck to you in whatever your decision!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alfredo's_lady · #86 03-25-2008, 01:52 PM

italian,
thanks
i take it you are in jalisco, how is it there?

Hes worried about staying in mexico tho, he doesn't think he'll make enough money, hes used to the money he was making here.
im worried about what my family is going to say, and raising children in mexico, my mother is going to flip.
I don't think i will mind it there tho, i'll be in chalco and i guess its like 20-30 min east of mexico city. as long as im with mi future esposo everything should be ok.
i just feel like screaming tho, i don't even know how long my man is going to be locked up for. i just wish we could runaway to mexico NOW..

dzzzyangel · #87 03-25-2008, 02:32 PM

I must say after keeping up with this thread I've done some major internet searching lol. My hunny has family all over apparently so we can always go live with them but I know that we want to have our own spot. Its hard trying to plan things when you don't really know when they are going to come home. My hunny goes up for his first parole board this year. He still has 12 to L on his sentence I know deep down that he is not coming home yet but the thought is great. Mandy hang in there I'm sure things will get better. Thanks for all the advice I've been getting from all of you. I'm sure I'll be buggin you all more.

Italian · #88 03-25-2008, 04:07 PM

Alfredo's lady,

You are very welcome. Yes I am in Jalisco San Agustin to be exact it is about 20 minutes north of downtown Guadalajara and out in the country. It was very hard in the beginning the money definitely is not the same but either is the cost of living. To give you an idea we pay $150.00 for a 2 bedroom townhome, $10.00 every 2 months for electricty, $30.00 every 6 weeks for gas, $60.00 a month foe our internet, cable and phone, and about $50.00 a week for groceries and personal necessities and we eat well sometimes better than in the States. so although the money we make is less than what we made in the States we live pretty well.
I would never say it is easy at first it was not but after a year for me and three for him it is the best thing that we have ever done.

Alfredo's_lady · #89 03-25-2008, 09:41 PM

you make me excited to go.

i wish i could leave now!!

im happy that my man owns a couple houses so we don't have to worry about that.

Do you speak fluent spanish?
what do you and your man do in your free time?

MandyMeMe · #90 03-26-2008, 07:31 AM

Italian...do you all have hot water? That is really good for rent and everything else. I think the main thing that is drowning us is paying for the upkeep of his mom and all his family..his brother and his family...his other brother and his sister and parents plus us. He pays for everything and it's to much. This is why we cant afford to go anywhere else. All the money is sucked into all these people. I just had a light bulb go on in my head after reading Italian's thread. If it was just us in our own apartment/house and we only paid for our expenses then we could make it. I think the key is moving away from all these people and and i mean far away a few hours or more. That way my fiance wouldnt feel abligated to help everyone. Yall i feel real good about this. Hopefully he will see the light when i tell him this.

times_up · #91 03-26-2008, 10:29 AM

i don't know how you ladies do it. seriously, i just got back from TJ again early this morning and i never NEVER want to go back. withing 10 minutes of arriving in TJ, i got stopped by a fat little mexican who told me to keep turning onto random streets.... roll down my windows and asked why i'm in mexico. finally he lets me go, and a few minutes later, I get pulled over AGAIN! this time, i'm told to keep turning until i'm in a scary little sidestreet. two cop cars and a little truck full of mexican cops get out and surround my car. they tell me to roll down my windows and get out of my truck. i said no. they start asking me tons of questions and when they realize that i'm not going to pay them, they simply walk away. i said excuse me, cuz now i'm lost, where is the hotel? they said i dunno in english and drove away. i was lost, scared and had to pay a taxi to show me where the hotel was. even worse, the next day, (my truck is pretty noticable) my hubby, ex bro in law (who is a beach bum) and my daughter are in the truck.... same little fat mexican pulls us over. the cop asks me the questions again and my hubby askes what the hell. cop says he pulled me over fifteen days ago.... it was yesterday!!! my hubby shows him his credencial and the cop makes them get out of the car and search them. they start arguing and finally let us go.

i understand they are pulling over people and fighting the narcotraficantes and whatnot, but that episode that happened with me LAST time happened to my suegros a few days ago also. that town is so corrupt. i'm sure there must be a good side. but where? i'm not going back.

countingdayz · #92 03-26-2008, 11:15 AM

Hey times up I had the same thing happen to me the first time I went down to Tj I had rented a pretty nice SUV to drive down and each and everytime we went down town or to the playas area we got pulled over the first time was a little fat cop (might be the same one who pulled you over) and he asked what we were doing in Tj and insisted we were in a stolen vehicle and he was going to impound it after arguing with him for quite a while he let us go, second time was while driving on the via rapida again they insisted it was a stolen vehicle we argued a little more and were let go. I do belive it has a lot to do with the car you are driving and if it has California plates, they only go after the flashy cars because they assume you have to do with the narcos, when I went back in January my husband had already bought a car a used Saturn (nothing fancy) well I drove that car all over Tj and was not stopped once, the cops would just fly by me. You might want to try crossing thru Otay Mesa instead of San Ysidro that way you dont have to go thru downtown Tj. Also if you stay out of downtown the cops dont mess with you the area where my husband lives (outskirts of Tj near Corredor 2000) you hardly see them of course every once in a while they do the checkpoints and stop eveyone.

Italian, I agree even though you may make less in Mexico the cost of living is less expensive and you live better and eat better like you said life is where you make it.

MandyMeMe no wonder you feel so bad about Mexico I would too if my husband was just deported and having to support all his family that is crazy, hopefully when you talk to him he will see the light. Good luck.

Michellita · #93 03-26-2008, 02:37 PM

MandyMeMe~ I finally came back to visit PT. It's been 9 months since I've moved to reunite with my husband in Honduras and life has gotten away from me. You popped into my head the other day wondering how you were doing in Mexico so came on to see what's going on.

I am so relating to your feelings as far as feeling torn in your head on where you want to be. The things you are dealing with as far as living situation, The feelings about not going anywhere for x number of days, etc and missing the things in the US. I can't believe you got pregnant so soon! Congratulations too! It sounds like you have a lot to deal with all at once. Move to a new country, reunite with your man, leave some of your kids behind in the states, then get pregnant, support the family in MX, pay bills in the states, think about moving again...Talk about stress. Wow.

I write a blog for my family mostly to keep up with us so it really doesn't do anything as far as getting things off my chest. Like the anquish I feel every day of just wanting to go home!! I could vent and vent and vent I tell ya, but I try to keep it more informative rather than a vent blog. You should start one! Your story is very interesting. I think we live pretty good here in Honduras. Compared to most. Living in a big city makes a big difference to access to resources, etc. Such as an English speaking church. So nice.

I took a job about 2 months ago teaching English to adults at a language school, but the pay is crap (about $3/hour). After gas and childcare, the take home is nil. So I may try to take on private students or small groups. It was a good challange and rewarding to see that I can teach English.

My biggest problem is dealing with a husband that sometimes has a hard time supporting my needs, understanding my needs and also anticipating my needs before I even know what they are. I am going back to the states when my daughter finishes up 4th grade for at least a month. It's crazy that my mind everyday contemplates not coming back.

Here is my blog. Hondurassprouts.blogspot.com

Italian · #94 03-26-2008, 07:04 PM

Alfredos Lady
No I do not speak fluent Spanish but in a year I speak alot more than I did. It was hard at first but the second week I was here I just went for it and went to the markets and Tianges on my own and little by little I learned enough to get by. The people here are so nice and very friendly and helpful so that helps. Our Free time not much of that he works 14 hours a day and takes Sundays off but on occasion he will take an extra day for us to do stuff last weekend we wnet to a little town called Chapala alot of retired Americans there and it has a huge lake we had a lot of fun it reminded me of a boardwalk with all the shops and restaraunts surrounding the lake. Other than that we will go and see different little towns in the area, Saturdays I don't cook so we will take off and go eat somewhere new I have my favorite places but always like to try something new.

Italian · #95 03-26-2008, 07:14 PM

Mandy Me ,

Yes we have hot water we use a boiler had it blow up in my face once when lighting it but other than that it is no big deal and it is so hot here that u really do not need to fire it up to wash dishes or even shower. Yes you really need to get your own place u will be so much happier. We moved about 45 minutes from his family and he goes once a month for family day sometimes I go or I just stay home. They are not as dependant on him at first it seemed like it but hey they hadn't seen him since he was 16 31years ago so if they were a little demanding or needy I understood. We are so happy now so believe me it would help if you got out on your own and you guys can find a nice place for what we pay look into your newer homes out there alot of people had some type of benefit and were able to get these homes real cheap and now they rent them out. Good Luck to you you r in my prayers and I hope all works out for you. Keep your head up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where r u in Mexico???????

MandyMeMe · #96 03-26-2008, 07:47 PM

Michellita...you are so awesome. Looks like you are adjusting very well. I'm so excited for you. I cant wait to start following your blog. I started one before i went to Mexico and then it seemed like to much was going on in my life to even put it on the puter, so i stopped. Maybe i should start one again. Yours is great, what a beautiful family you all have. Are all your children with you down there? Do they attend a spanish school or english school? Just really curious. Great to see you on here. God Bless..you are so lucky to have a enlgish church..that helps so much.

times_up · #97 03-26-2008, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Italian

Alfredos Lady
No I do not speak fluent Spanish but in a year I speak alot more than I did. It was hard at first but the second week I was here I just went for it and went to the markets and Tianges on my own and little by little I learned enough to get by. The people here are so nice and very friendly and helpful so that helps. .

good for u. i think that's what makes me nervous.... letting go and accepting the change. i can speak okay, but i get frustrated. haha... maybe i need to bite the bullet and take the plunge like you did!

Michellita, WOW. how did you manage to adjust?!? kudos to you. you and your family look very very happy!

blueangelinyc · #98 03-26-2008, 09:43 PM

does anyone know anything about guatemala, also michelita i know you had hard time getting your paper work i can imagine what i will go through since im not married to my boyfriend( the jail doesnt allow illegal immigrants to marry) so i dont know how i would be allow in to guatemala

Alfredo's_lady · #99 03-26-2008, 09:57 PM

i must say ladies, this thread has really helped me. I really apperciate everyones input.

im ready for a change, and all you ladies have been working hard on your new life style and it really makes me feel better about my choice.

Michellita - your blog looks GREAT! i scanned it over, i cant wait to read it!

firedancer · #**100** 03-27-2008, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MandyMeMe

To the lady who is considering moving to Ecuador, when visiting a foreign country on vacation..it's fun and exciting and you see new things and then you go back home to the comforts you are used to. However picking up shop and moving to another country is so different than just visiting for a few weeks..even a month, i would say is not long enough to make the choice of moving. You are wise by doing a trial run for 3 months. You will see alot of things in 3 months. Hopefully that will be long enough for you to see how life really is, before you make the plunge.

Yeah I'm really hoping this will give me a real idea of what living down there would be like. My fiance has never lived in the US and he has the option of living here with me, but he has good job opportunities down there. He's going to start studying to be a commercial pilot soon and he already works for a great airline. I don't have any idea what I'm going to do down there but I hope I can find a decent job.