Girlfriend in prison for sex crime

[bfmike]

My GF committed a sex crime before I knew her (she had sex with an underage student as she was teacher) and she'll be sentenced in Texas, probably 3/4 years in prison. She is scared about life in prison, specially as a sex offender. Is life in prison so dangerous and so hard than she thinks. What about shackles, stripsearches, cells ? She heard about rapes, specially against white inmates. Is it true or not ? She is 31 years old, white and beautiful.

[krummy]

bfmike, I am sorry you have to find your way to PTO but glad you have found us. Welcome to the greatest support site on the internet and to the little corner of wives and girlfriends. I think in answer to your questions; there is an amount of that goes on but not near as much as made out to be. I really can't say much about Tennessee since I am in Texas and they all are different. You might want to go to the Tennessee State forum and posts your questions. You might get better answers there. If you need help navigating just let me know and I will help you with it.
Good luck to you and your girlfriend.

[bfmike]

Thanks Krummy but my GF'll serve time in Texas.

[Rosesguy]

FYI, it looks like she will be in Texas from the post.

I can only pass on what I know from my wife.

Stripsearches, yes. Especially to/from contact visits.

Shackles, not so much, except moving from one facility to the next. Or if taken to seg

Most of the "drama" seems to be pseudo-relationship based. Or things like snitching, etc.

Basically, her advice is to keep to yourself. Don't get involved with the "drama". Learn the rules, go by the book. Be respectful to the CO's, and learn to bite your tongue on the occasions a CO, for whatever reason, tries to provoke a response.

[wendy tyler]

bfmike, I have a friend who served 5 years in Tex. She is on another forum, but I will ask her to PM you.

[krummy]

Oh well in that case. I can assure you that it is not near as bad as what you have heard. I know a couple of guys whose wives are in Texas prison now and as far as the CO bashing or molesting not near as much goes on as you hear. The Texas penal system is tough. Judge Roy Bean tough and the employees of the system do not want to be part of that system on the other side. Now they do treat them disrespectful sometimes and not so nice but that is with every prison. One thing might be helpful for her is just not talk about her offense; don't tell anyone what she is in for even if they ask. Tell her to just politely tell them she would rather not discuss it and leav it at that. I think they only time they are shacled is when they cause trouble or if they are considered a flight risk or endangerment to themselves or others. They do have cells they call the hole or the SHU which is solitary confinement but it is nothing like what you see in the movies or on TV. Tell her to get that totaly out of her mind but it is nothing like that.

[bfmike]

Thanks Wendy, I wait.

[krummy]

There is some great advice from Rosesguy. If she will learn those well then she should do good.

[bfmike]

Thanks. She was a teacher and didn't imagine she could be a day in prison. She made a big mistake and is now in trouble. But she isn't a bad woman and she fears being incarcerated with bad women, and dyke.

[haswtch]

She'll find herself mostly among women who made big mistakes and are now in trouble, more so than "bad" women.

[metro3480]

bfmike, welcome to PTO and Wives&Girlfriends. I'm sorry you had to find us, but it's a great place with good people.

My wife has been an inmate with TDC for 11 years now. They are strip searched before and after every visit, both contact and non-contact. Depending on their job, a lot of times they are stripped both before and after they leave work. If they are an Aggie( No, not an A&M fan) they are stripped when they come back from the fields. My wife has said she has been stripped so many times it doesn't bother her any more.

They are usually only shackled when they pull chain from one facility to another. Or when they are in Ad Seg and they have a visit or something like that. But for the most part they very rarely shackle them.

There are fights in there, my wife has had a few during her time in their. According to her most of the trouble in a women's prison comes from girlfriend drama. But for the most part what we see in the media or in the movies greatly exaggerates what the reality is. My wife was tested to see if she was a pushover when she first got there. When they found out she wasn't everyone pretty much left her alone. Rapes do happen, even in a women's prison, but they are pretty rare.

Your girlfriend shouldn't have any problem with the other women for being a sex offender. The women that are there for child crimes seem to have the hardest time and get hassled the most from other women.

The Texas forum would be a great place for you to check out as well. I'm sure Robinsman will be along and he can fill you in on anything I might have missed. His wife is also in a TDC prison. Or if you would like, you can PM me and I'll answer any question you might have.

[nick3369]

Originally Posted by haswtch

She'll find herself mostly among women who made big mistakes and are now in trouble, more so than "bad" women.

That's pretty much exactly what my girlfriend tells me. She talks about all the otherwise good people she meets that just found themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time or who made one crucial mistake.

Everyone here has such good advice; I struggle to add to it, but I'll try anyway. She should definitely try to stay under the radar and keep to herself as much as possible, but also make the most of her time there and use whatever tools available to better herself. People who do that instead of adopting a self-pitying "why me" attitude may be less of a target to the truly bad people that are there.(not near as many as media and movies would have us believe!)

Again, just insights I've gained throughout my gf's sentence for what they're worth. Good luck to you both!

[Rosesguy]

After I talked to my wife tonight, the only other thing she'd add is avoid being too nice or generous.

She has always tried to help people, and that continued when she went in, and is the only real thing that has caused her problems. She tried helping women out that apparently had little or no canteen, for example, and ended up getting "marked" as an easy hit up. Caused her some problems when she started saying no.

Being still in intake, she (and by extention, me) still help people out by passing along messages when someone hasn't been able to get phones set up, etc. But even that eventually needed some ground rules

[Kay's man 4ever]

Don't mess up the 3pm count!

That is what stresses out the guards because when an inmate goes missing, somebody's job (as a CO) can go missing real fast.

Kay's man 4ever

[bfmike]

Originally Posted by haswtch

She'll find herself mostly among women who made big mistakes and are now in trouble, more so than "bad" women.

In fact, you are right. I heard about a neighbor when I was in an other city. She was a businesswoman and a good mother. She was responsable for an accident with her car and is now in prison. She isn't a bad woman. How can such inmate live with violent women ?

[krummy]

bf, they learn quickly who is the trouble makers and who isn't and stay clear of those who are. They just try to surround themselves with those that are of the same character as themselves and this way they can pretty much stay out of any sort of trouble themselves.

[metro3480]

Originally Posted by bfmike

In fact, you are right. I heard about a neighbor when I was in an other city. She was a businesswoman and a good mother. She was responsable for an accident with her car and is now in prison. She isn't a bad woman. How can such inmate live with violent women ?

It really isn't as bad as you seem to think it is. Sure it is prison and prison sucks, but you are letting your imagination get the better of you. My wife has been in prison for 11 years now and she has never been stabbed or cut or raped or anything. In fact she one day told me that some of the most amazing people she has ever met in life she met in there.

It really isn't as dangerous as you seem to think it is.

[WifejailedinAZ]

Ok let me chime in, I know my wife, I know the person she is. She is a good woman, a loving mother and an amazing wife. She scrwed up, she made a seriously bad series of mistakes.

All in all over the past year or so that we have been dealing with this I have ment a few of people with wives, daughters, gf, mothers etc on the inside. And while there are the srious offenders and dangerous types in the female population it seems a great many of the women who end up in prison are "good" women who have made some poor deicissions.

That being said, fear, the will to survive and self preservation can and will make some of those "good" women act totally differently while inside. It is human nature to do what you have to do to survive when placed it what you feel is a hostile environment.

All the advice above is exactly what I try and tell my baby to do, keep to yourself as much as possible, don't do it to the extent you are labled a bitch cause you don't return a hello or a good night/morning etc. Be respectfull to the CO's and staff in general, even when they are being a total ass. Learn your rights, follow the rules by the book and file formal grievances if it is something serious.

[bfmike]

Why your wife is inside ? and what job before prison ?

[PTO-92958]

~bfmike~
Hi. Welcome to PTO. As everyone else has already said, we're sorry to meet you under these circumstances, but happy to have you here where you can get support and share with others in similar situations.
Have you checked out the "Loving A Sex Offender" forum? You may find some comfort there as well.
Best of luck to your girlfriend, and to you as well. I'm sure she'll be just fine once she adjusts to the surroundings.
Peace & Blessings,
~GG~

[metro3480]

My wife was present when her brother murdered someone. She didn't do it, was just there and panicked and fled the scene with her brother. They charged her with murder as well as her brother. She was a CPA on the outside.