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brokenhalo777 · #26 10-14-2008, 09:30 PM

My husband doesn't really do 'friends' to that extent of feeling the need to set them up with other people, so he'd never ask. But, if he did I would just tell him no and leave it at that. It wouldn't make me irrationally angry.

ladii_luck · #27 10-14-2008, 09:42 PM

I would have been mad in how he demanded. Starting anything with "yo you need..." is reason for me to furrow my brow. Asking nicely is a different story.

I have been asked to hook one person up (kind of). My bf asked me to have someone write this guy and enclosed a letter from the guy to whoever I got to write to him. I hated when he and his friends did that when he was out, let alone now. I just posted about his friend in the pen pal section of this site, but told him to let this associate know that there are no guarantees. It must not have been that big of a deal because I haven't heard anything since.

marcswifey · #28 10-14-2008, 09:56 PM

I would have been mad at the way he asked too. As to the whole hooking someone in there with one of my friends my man wouldn't ask me to do that. if he did i wouldn't mind because we were introduced to each other just like that. He was in county two years ago and my girl was writing to his boy and we are still together and they are not.

donutandpickle · #29 10-15-2008, 05:27 AM

I wouldn't be angry at him just for asking. My honey tells me all the time that his friends want me to find a friend to write them. I actually feel bad that I don't have any single friends who would be willing to write. I hate that people are in there with no one writing to them.

xxsweetheartxx · #30 10-15-2008, 05:35 AM

ugh...when he was in county i would get letter after letter...all these guys asking to be friends with my friends...well personally my friends dont like the fact my man is in jail and i dont think they would just randomly want to hook up with someone they dont know...well i could say i had one HOE friend ahaha...stupid hoe, but anyways...ya it gets irritating....but you know what i say, i post a request with his name and the letter on this site for penpals...if someone wants to write they will post bak if not then sorry no can do but i am not going to hook my friends up with a random guy in prison...sorry i love my man but like she said im not a dating service lol..

OneOfMany · #31 10-15-2008, 05:49 AM

Quote:

say "yo this is what I need you to do"

Yeah. Conversation would be over -- the " 'scuseme? WTF did you just say?!!" dance would begin.

I hear ya!

You had me laughin' with the "pimpin' " and "institutionalized bastard" !

alley777 · #32 10-15-2008, 10:08 AM

I have to say I would not get upset, its not like he wants you to hook up with his friends

jackjack · #33 10-15-2008, 02:31 PM

wow..institutionalized B*stard...

thats a good one...horrible to actually say it but definitely a good one.

comradrahrah · #34 10-15-2008, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackjack

wow..institutionalized B*stard...

thats a good one...horrible to actually say it but definitely a good one.

Jackjack, I'm glad you understand that I didnt actually say that to him. I was just speaking out loud in the thread I was pissed and just venting. Sorry yah

. I would never be so insensitive to say that to him.

jeswannabhiswyf · #35 10-15-2008, 03:12 PM

L has had several requests to do this but he really doesn't want anyone we know to go through what we are going through. He says it's not that bad for him but he hates it for me. Now he cracks me up when I get a letter and says "Care Bear, ______ wants you to see if you can hook him up with somebody. Don't do it. He asked me to ask you, so I did my part

". He's a trip.

I tend to take it more as a compliment than an annoyance. Others look at what L and I have and want the same. They figure birds of a feather flock together. So they're hoping to find someone like me. But that's just me. I tend to find the positive in things everyone else sees as negative.

Csmcgrl23 · #36 10-15-2008, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comradrahrah

But, like I told him its not about "E or A" its about how I was asked more like directed to hook up a specific friend, and that to me was disrespectful. He came off like he was big pimpin behind the walls and don't like that.

Ok, so he came off wrong at first but you cut him off and told him that he should ask differently, like say there's something he would like for you to do instead of hey babe I NEED you to do this. Ok, so you corrected him, he turns and asks you the way you told him he should ask only for you to go off on him again for even asking the question. So I can see how he got heated in return. Why even tell him the right way to ask if you're just gonna shoot him down anyway and take it to the point where you are almost calling each other out of name?

I can understanding you not wanting to do what he asked. But I think it could of been handled differently. Yes he asked you wrong but I think you coming unhinged after he asked you the right way is just about the same as him asking you wrong in the first place. You demand respect and I'm sure he was demanding the same as well.

comradrahrah · #37 10-15-2008, 03:26 PM

Csmcgrl23, I posted a condensed verison of the events. Trust and believe he was no innocent victim in this. I know my man and I he was out of order and he knows it, based on his apology to me. You are correct I could have handled it differently, but I didnt and for that I apologized to him for it. See, we already handled up on the situation and all is well again.

84JAEnCHRIS77 · #38 10-15-2008, 03:36 PM

well i dont have that problem with my g.f ..i think main reason being a great majority of people in my life talk ish cuz im with her and her family dont like the idea of her being with me either! oh well life moves on cuz i am her future wife for life!

Csmcgrl23 · #39 10-15-2008, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comradrahrah

Csmcgrl23, I posted a condensed verison of the events. Trust and believe he was no innocent victim in this. I know my man and I he was out of order and he knows it, based on his apology to me. You are correct I could have handled it differently, but I didnt and for that I apologized to him for it. See, we already handled up on the situation and all is well again.

I just base my opinions on what I read, I try to not assume things that aren't posted. I'm glad you both apologized. I didn't think he was the innocent victim, I felt both of you could of respected each other a little better, but when these things pop up it's a chance to learn and move forward. I'm glad it's all worked out.

LadyKisses · #40 10-15-2008, 03:51 PM

My baby had asked me to get his friend a girl to write to him..His friend mailed me a letter and hooked me up and I helped him find a girl to write..I dont have any girlfriends anymore all of them left me when I started this.. so I have no one near and dear to me anymore..which is sad..So when baby ask me hey baby do u mind if so and so ask u to find him a friend to talk to if I say no respects me and doesnt bother me again..And it is only 2 he has asked..And I dont mind it at all.. I try and help other people cause I know what it is like not having anyone to talk to ..and I know people get lonely in prison and a letter sure brightens up someones day..

But girl u have ever right to be mad he should be deamanding and getting on to you like u owe him that that is just bullshit u dont owe him nothing men need to understand thier are ways of asking people and one way is not deamanding girl....Go ahead girl rant and rave!!!!

Hotspot · #41 10-15-2008, 03:55 PM

My friend hooked me up thru the same kind of hook up and I have a wonderful little girl behind a hook up so I plead the fifth LOL

shadyslady · #42 10-15-2008, 06:31 PM

Yes my babe has asked me a few times. It is mostly because I think he wants someone to come visit with me so I am not on the long drive all by myself. That is the initiative for him to ask me in the first place because he is always like "then you will have company on the ride." He is always concerned about me driving to and from visit because it is a long drive. (about 4 hours) But it never works out. They write back and forth for like 2 or 3 letters and the girls drop off. I don't know a lot of girls who are not already preoccupied with a man or have super busy lives. It is not like a lot of girls are standing in line to be in a relationship with a man in prison you know. I feel bad everytime too because I know they are quality guys that he puts forward out of respect for me and my friend but no one has really clicked up yet. Shoot...the only reason I find time to write my babe is because he is my love. I don't think I could do the whole letter bit with a complete stranger at this time in my life. It is love that keeps it going.

MarquicesWife · #43 10-15-2008, 07:12 PM

My man;s cellie started askin bout me a lot and he'd try to steal a pic or two from Marquice and so Marquice begged me to find him someone to write cuz he was bout ready to kill him if he aint stop tryna holla at me but he felt bad cuz his cellie been down 10 yrs and no one writes him or nuthin. So I asked one of my girls to write him. She didn't want him havin her address so she gave me her letters and i sent um with mine to Marquice. This is the only reason i did it. Marquice doesn't care about the ppl in there enough to ask me to do sumthin

dallaswife2b · #44 10-15-2008, 07:19 PM

at first dallas would ask me its been ten years most of his friends have wives fiances or 1st ladies in their lives we are more settled and so are his friends...

johanssons_babe · #45 10-15-2008, 07:41 PM

This only came about once recently... he didn't ask me but he mentioned that some of his guy "friends" said to ask me to find them girls. He didn't want me to do it. It was just mentioned in a conversation of ours. He said when he first went away that guys would ask him " Hey do you want me to find you a girl to write too? Give me a soup or chips (etc) and I will hook u up." He always declined-- or so he says

He said ppl haven't asked him if he needed a "girl" since the first few days. It was obvious that HIS GIRLFRIEND can supply him with enough to read a look at weekly. He said alot of guys in there have girlfriends AND penpals who send pics and letters. They brag aout how many girls and so on. Its crazy to think some men cheat even while they are locked up. Yikes.

I'm just concerned with sending my babe letters and pictures...Im sure there are many other people who can help all the lonely guys out in there..for a good price

I did call a girl for his "friend"... She was rather rude to me on the phone.

**wizewifey** · #46 10-16-2008, 06:56 PM

Well everybody needs somebody and I think that's why they feel...let me see if she has a friend who might want a friend! He never really asks unless it is someone he can go to bat for their character but my response has always been "Not many people want this life including those of us who are already in it" Not trying to be funny but loving someone incarcerated is the hardest thing I've ever done!

dallaswife2b · #47 10-23-2008, 01:59 PM

Its usually in a couples best interest not to vent with each other we cant take back hurtful words and there will be a power struggle and alot of false pride and ego in its full effect its like trying to unring a doorbell tell him a nice way my friends are not interested in men that are incarcerated most woman arent so you wont offend him and he wont be defensive thats what worked for me and dallas we had to learn that through trial and error

Devoted1975 · #48 01-05-2009, 01:05 AM

I know that this is a thread that was posted a bit ago.. I thought I'd add my 2 cents to it

I met my friend off of a pen pal website awhile ago and I LOVE to write to him. Infact I can't remember a time when I last picked up a pen to actually write a letter to anyone until I started writing to him. My letters are pretty average from what I see others on here write to their loved ones. I write about 2 pages front and back with 1/2 a page of questions for him to answer. I write him almost every night before I go to bed. He is only a state away and he get's the letters I send in bulk. One day he got 7 all at once! The men that he bunks with are all in amazement of how much he gets from me.

One of his friends asked him if I would set up one of my friends with him. For writing to him. My friend asked me, and I couldn't do it. After all I am still getting to know him ! I don't know his friends.. So I told my friend that I don't feel comfortable doing, plus my friends are not like me as far as writing goes...

special_24 · #49 01-05-2009, 01:25 AM

Mine didnt ask me what he did was put one of his inmate, friends on the phone with me and he nicely ask me if i had a single friend, he could talk to..i told him no all my friends are taken or married..witch was kind of true, at the moment lol..but i wasn't upset i didnt have no problem with it becus i now how some men, do want someone to talk to becus they lonley,.. alot of them in there are wanting there friends to hook them up with someone, on the out side..thats there thing.

2nice · #50 01-05-2009, 05:22 AM

J hasnt ever asked me to hook one of his 'homies' up with any of my friends. However, when I have spoken to him about some of my friends relationship troubles, he has sometimes replieed that if they want, he can hook them up with a 'real man'. But that is about as far as it goes.
If Im honest, I dont think that I would have taken it in a bad way if he hadve ever asked me. He knows what a real man is supposed to be like, and he is a pretty good judge of character (although he does sometimes get it wrong). I would feel it out with one of my friends, and if they seemed like they would like to correspond to a dude on the inmate, then I would put it to her. Most of my friends knows what the highs and lows are in a prison relationship/friendship, as I talk to them about what I am going through. SO if they wanted to correspond, it would be totally on them.