Saying vs. Showing

[MsMarie]

Originally Posted by ant's wife

the look in someone's eyes can be deeper than a simple i love

I agree 110%...Everyday Ron tells me he loves me in letters, cards, and on the phone; all the little gifts he sends me.

But when I see him and I see the way he looks at me...Well, it just makes it all that more real and true.

[iloveyoumore]

Everyone feels the love differently. There is a great book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Some people feel it with words of affirmation, some with gifts, some with acts of service, some with quality time and some with physical touch. The point of this is if say I feel loved when my man does little things for me or spends quality time with me and he feels that telling me he loves me only should be enough I'm not going to feel that he loves me as much. If we understand what shows our partner that we love them most how loved will they feel? And vice versa. Anyway...

[Temeron0926]

Ray is not an "I love you" type of guy. Let me explain that. He used to only tell me he loved me every once in a while, and I am one who needs to hear it as well as feel it. Oh I know he loves me, don't get me wrong. He shows me all the time. No, he doesn't buy me things (obviously) but he does send me great cards, makes me videos and DVD's, sends me letters telling me how much I mean to him and how much he appreciates me.

The last few years he has gotten to where he can say the words easier. He has never been one to SAY he loves someone (this goes back to the way he was raised). Now, however, he does tell me he loves me, every time we talk on the phone, and many times in each letter. I know that for him to SAY it, makes it mean more to me, because I know how hard it was for him to get to this point.

I do have to agree tho that actions speak louder than words.

[Fullofluv1982]

Originally Posted by yzz

Still carrying a little baggage from my exhusband and today I will say, words are cheap. You gotta act right for me to believe anything that comes out of your mouth.

Me too! I do need to hear it as well, but when it comes down to it actions speak louder then words.

[Miss_A]

I like to hear it as well as be shown it.

A book that I recomend for couples to read together is, 'The Five Love Languages' by Gary Chapman. It will open your eyes to what each person's true 'love language' is.

[kylee23]

talks cheap

[kylee23]

we show we love them everyday by even being here i want more then words. like i said talks cheap

[donutandpickle]

I want both. I appreciate the things he does that show me he loves me but there's nothing like hearing him tell me he loves me.

[Daywalker]

You can SAY anything, and without an action to back it up - I love you, is just 3 more words. And, 8 letters, the same as BS. So, I prefer being shown, and I don't mean gifts. You can buy me anything, too. Doesn't mean you love me, any more than it did when it was said. No, to me, you can show me that by being there. That's what love is - if you can love me when the Sh*t is hitting the fan, then you can love me when it ain't.

[LDGsWoman]

I definitely need to see it. I've heard it from so many guys in the past that were just using it to get what they wanted. My husband just came to realize what I've been trying to tell him all along - words don't mean a damn thing to me. If you don't show me, I will never believe you.

[PoohRay]

Well I believe it has to be a balance between the two. Even with children you show them love through holding them as infants, etc. but they also need to hear that they are loved and if that is how you are raised having both ways given to you as a child that is what you expect as an adult.

IMO a man has a different way of showing their love. To some men cutting the grass, changing the brakes and taking the trash out is showing love. For women we like to feel loved through the cuddling, the caressing and the little things like a red rose given to me just because.....so I believe it has to be shared to your love one what is expected and I only say this because I was in a relationship for 12 before I married my husband and that man thought him doing things around the house, caring for the kids, paying bills was his way of showing me love don't get me wrong I appreciated but I needed to hear it and see in other ways besides in the bed. So in this relationship I expressed to my husband my needs and wants and he did the same just so we had some clue of each others expections. Yeah it seems like a no- brainer but believe men and women are seriously from two different planets...LOL