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esteli · #1 04-11-2009, 09:21 AM

What is the most significant change your boyfriend or husband has made since...you met him, or since he's been in prison?

Do others notice this change? Does his family acknowledge his change? Or are you the only one who sees it right now?

Or has he not changed at all?

esteli · #2 04-11-2009, 10:50 AM

Maybe it's difficult to articulate or even talk about his changes. My guy is different with everyone and to me too. He has even changed friends, yards, beliefs, everything. It's a combination of maturing (being at that right age too), tired of the ole same old life he had, something had to give, his relationship with me, and knowing he ain't getting any younger.

He wouldn't allow to speak any type of religion to him, nor prayer, etc. Today he insists on reading the Bible with me. The change hasn't come easy and has been consistent immediately but with time some of it has really stuck.

His peeps noticed and ask him why? He says he choses love. He tells them it's because of me.

But his family not coming around just yet. Not on him changing.

I do see it. I am surprised how he chooses to react now or things he chooses to do as oppose to before.

Maybe it's just me going through all this but I was wondering if anyone else was too.

KeithsWifeyxOx · #3 04-11-2009, 10:54 AM

I would have to sum it up in one big answer...His whole mindset! He used to be so impulsive...He had this attitude where it was HIS way and no other way...(Which obviously doesn't work out when you're in prison.) Now he's learned to rationalize how he's feeling so he doesn't lash out. He's also got up the motivation to go to class, and to remain calm when his mood starts to run wild. He's made soo many good changes, but the biggest change is just his over-all change of how he looks at things differently.

esteli · #4 04-11-2009, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeithsWifeyxOx

I would have to sum it up in one big answer...His whole mindset! He used to be so impulsive...He had this attitude where it was HIS way and no other way...(Which obviously doesn't work out when you're in prison.) Now he's learned to rationalize how he's feeling so he doesn't lash out. He's also got up the motivation to go to class, and to remain calm when his mood starts to run wild. He's made soo many good changes, but the biggest change is just his over-all change of how he looks at things differently.

thanks for your response. I think you are one of the very few lucky ones who does see a change. most stay the exact same and people actually believe he'll be different when he gets home and then realized nothing has changed but the year. I'm glad you see his maturity.

KevsWife7 · #5 04-11-2009, 11:59 AM

He's changed his whole lifestyle since we met! There are a few good changes since he went in. But when we met, he was into harder drugs, partying all the time, always playing a few girls at any given time, just being WILD. Pretty much as soon as we started dating it stopped. He became a homebody, only going out a few times a month, stopped the drugs, and just calmed down overall. He still got into a few fights, but he tried his hardest not to(one guy spit on him!).

Since he's been in...he's been able to communicate his feelings a lot better. He even admits that he's changed his whole mindset. About what's right and wrong, what it means to be a man. I think he's really found himself(how weird!), and realized what is important in life to him. He's stopped looking out for people that call themselves 'friends'. Before, he was quick to fight for them, and now he realizes that I'm the only one that will actually fight for HIM.

And I honestly don't really worry about him changing back to who he was. Simply because that's not who he is at all anymore. He's grown up, he's matured. And its about time, he's 29!

JazzyJFL · #6 04-11-2009, 12:03 PM

Instead of having many women, he has only one and that is me. He is known for being a playa. For the first time in his life, he has been dedicated to me and only me. His family has definitely noticed that he is very serious about out relationship! The other relationships were just something to do to pass his time.

He's my heart · #7 04-11-2009, 12:43 PM

Any change for the better is significant, IMO. This experience for our loved ones will either help them to make positive changes or not. The choice is theirs. The LOVE & SUPPORT from us makes the road easier and hopefully they will not make a u-turn.

He's my heart

Kyle's Gurl · #8 04-11-2009, 01:06 PM

yea my boyfriend's mode of thinking has really changed. i can see a total difference in his demeanor, attitude and the way he thinks...

but actions do speak louder than words so when I see his change after he comes home is when I see the real change.

As for his family... they are the same... gotta see it to believe it because he spent majority of his juvenile career being an ass and never followed through... so his family has a hard time believing he's changed... and its understandable.

jellobean · #9 04-11-2009, 03:19 PM

Well not since prison, but since we met he stopped smoking pot. Since he used to do that like multiple times a day and was stoned like all the time, and then quit cold turkey and hasn't even thought about smoking since then. I know pot isn't like a hard drug but it was really bad for his mental state and I'm so glad he quit and I'm so proud of him for that. And he's been really wanting to start school (he was going to before he got sentenced but he couldn't obviously, so now he wants to take classes there).