Good news and bad news

[southernsarah]

[quote=missingsteven;4610660]{{{{Sarah}}}}
I would like to "spank" Bobby's little behind!! if only he would take into consideration what you went through to assure him getting the asthma medication!! Ugh!! "
That is exactly what I said to him when he called. And if I could hold him down so you could spank him I would do that right about now.

I agree it is time for some tough love. When he called yesterday morning the first thing he did was start whining about how discouraged he is to have been tossed out of trustee, blah blah blah. I listened for about a minute and then said
"Instead of pitying yourself for something that YOU caused to happen, you might want to spend the day thinking about how everyone does so much for you and it's time for you to start giving back to those people. I mean, Derek wrote you a letter (our neighbor who is really nice and went from being a drug dealer to being in a Christian band that opens for Casting Crowns) ... and you never even wrote him back. Think things over son, but for now I have things to do. Love you, gotta go. Call me later."
And I hung up.
I have never done that before. I always wait out the 10 minute phone call.
Well he called last night and the first words out of his mouth were "Mom I know I don't act like I appreciate everything you do for me, but please don't think I don't know. I am very thankful for having you as a mom. So you said you joined a book club.... what book did they read? Did you like it? Are the people cool that are in the club?"
Bear in mind that my son HATES to read except when he is in jail so a book club has zero interest for him. It was his way of trying to make up.
And he asked for Derek's address, and his cousin's address (who is doing life in CA) and he suggested some things to take care of problems I am having with the house. (Hooking up electronics, etc)
Maybe someday, he will grow up?

[southernsarah]

Originally Posted by Missymama

I want to go to the beach and have a good saltwater massage for hours, and hours and hours. Anyone want to come with me?

Count me in! Grabbing sunscreen and beach towels. Start the car and pick me up!

[southernsarah]

Originally Posted by Russell's Mom

Hello All

Mom it is ok to cry because he would rather me cry there than the 4 hours back home(like him saying that I am not going to cry on the way home anyway) well don't tell me I can cry because I can flood the visting room at that time I said why cant you get it! With me crying my eyes out I told him that I cant do more than 3 years this is killing me. He said well that is your choice. You darn right it is my choice. I relize that he only has 3 years but at his rate he will be there 20 and my heart hurts so bad just like all of the PWCIP. Thanks for letting me vent to night.

Okay so first he tells you it is okay to cry, then he says feeling the way you do is your choice?
Terri?? Are you reading? On our way to the jail so you can spank Bobby's little behind we got another one for you to smack!
I don't think these kids understand how hard it is to be in our shoes. Hopefully they will never have to go through it with their own kids.

[angel mathews]

I have been putting off saying any thing on this thread mainly because I was in shock that all my friends here are going thru the same exact thing I am and I had thought that you were all so much stronger than I was you all have been so supportive of each other always knowing just what to say and just how to lift a persons spirits up in good times and bad. Five months after my son was arrested I became ill so weak that I couldnt walk my legs just stopped working and I would easily loose my balance or even some times suddenly be walking backwards when just a split second before I was going forward litterly no joking here this is what was going on first think I thought of was I must have M.S my mom has M.S. and I had seen her do these very same things and to be honest mom thought I had M.S. also. test proved that it was not m.s many other women in my family have lupus so i was next tested for that no not that either Well needless to say I have been tested for a lot of neuralogical problems all with no avail to finding out what the problem was by the time I realized that there were not going to be any ansewers to what ever was going on with my body and that I probably would never be able to work in my profession ever again I worked with geriactics for 30 years and well now I dont have the strenghth to open a jar of pickles so I know I wont have the strenghth to help the people that I had grown to love over those many years it took me almost a year to be talked into signing up for disability and as many here who have tried to get disibility you know that is like trying to pull teeth from an angry lion..... so I had to hire a lawyer by now I was in year 2 of this and the first thing the lawyer says to me is I dont understand why you have been turned down for disability twice when clearly all the docters report that you have chronic fatuge syndrome with fibermyalgia (sp) not one of those docters ever said those words to me not one I had to hire a lawyer to get a diagnois for something that I could only explain as getting 50 years older over night that was the way I felt I told people that for 46th birthday I got 50 years older Yep it happend 2 days before my 46th birthday Happy Birthday to me. Funny thing is even tho I am tired 24/7 I have to be sedeated to get thru a day and to feel almost like myself on a daily basis I take cymbalta for pain, cyclobenzaprine for muscle spasms, doxepin for stress induced hives I have had these hives for 15 years no one knew what caused them until my shrink saw them and I am talking hives so big and swollen my skin would blister causeing even more pain, and lorazapam 2 to 3 times a day for anxiety I can't deal with the stress of deciding what to wear on any given day. So ladies what I am tring to say here is this if this is how you feel please please get some help before your health is ruined for ever and you start to feel way to old for your age. I used to be the calm one in any emerceny situation I used to be able to think on my feet react first and think second now I will be lucking to remember that I wrote this thread in a couple of hours I am already forgetting why I started writing it LOL but honestly please please get some out side help before it is to late and please take care of you take some you time I love you all (((((((((HUGS)))))))) Angel

[angel mathews]

I just wanted to add that my condition was an accumaltion of deflecting stress and staying to busy to deal with my stress. I always pulled my self up by the boot straps brushed my self off and went on with my life just so I wouldn't deal with the every day stresses in my life. I did try to do the very same thing when my son was arrested only to have it bite me in the butt with this condition my sons arrest was the straw that broke the camels back and I will not ever be able to go back to work as I can not tolerate any kind of stress be it the good kind like the birth of a baby or the bad kind such as the arrest of my son I can no longer be any where that there is some kind of chaos going on loud noises make me jump out of my skin ect.. this all happened over a long period of time and I did not take care of myself the way that I should have so ladies if these are new symtoms that you are feeling or even if they are not so new please please do get some outside help for them before they take over your life I am begging you I do care about all of you (((((((((HUGS)))))))) Angel

p.s A good day for me is one where I dont spend the whole day trying to get comfortable in my own home because of the pain and axaity (sp?)

[boflipflops36]

Thank you Angel. You put it in words as exactly how i feel. To many years I have dealed with stress, never slowed down to take care of me.I am at the point just like i said boom! It hit me, I was always the one who got it done and jumped in feet first, to any situation. Now I just don't want to be around anyone. I can't get excited about anything anymore. Just numb to it all. I guess all my joy out of life went away. Like you said about toleration any kind of stress baby being born, or any joy at all. I just get thru the day. I have put all this stress own the back burner and it has caught up with me. Slaped me right between the eyes, I ask for something to help me and the Dr put me on Lexapro, and I am own a nerve pill since my husband died, so I am taking it one day at a time. I hope you get some rest also and thank you all for sharing, we are all really down but we have to keep the faith. Its all we have. We no God is watching and lifting us up. This our valley. We will make it with each other help.

[heartbrokenmom]

Thanks Angel for sharing all that with us. I thought I was the only one that felt this way, not liking loud noises, just want to be by myself, don't like crowds, or any kind of stress - be it good or bad. I used to see little babies in the stores and thought they were so cute, which they are, but now it's like I look at them and wonder what will they grow up to be and how much heartache will they put their parents through. I tell everyone that I do not want any grandchildren and people at work tell me there is nothing like grandchildren and I will change my mind. But I haven't yet, I really don't want any. I know if I have one that I will love him or her, but I really do not want any. I have had all the heartache that I can stand and all the dealings with children that I can stand. Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong that I feel this way! I just want some peace in my life and to be left alone. Is it wrong that I feel this way or is this just years of stress and all the pain that I've been through making me feel this way? I am like Boflipflops said, I just like it when it's dark and I can go to sleep and forget it all.

[angel mathews]

[ Is it wrong that I feel this way or is this just years of stress and all the pain that I've been through making me feel this way? I am like Boflipflops said, I just like it when it's dark and I can go to sleep and forget it all.[/quote]

It is all those years of stress and pain the body can only take so much. It surprised me that my body quit on me the way it did I alway figured it would be my mind that I would just loose my mind..and to be honest I wish it had been my mind then I wouldnt know what was going on not to make fun of those with mental illness in any way but sometimes I wish i didnt have a clue as to what was going on in my life Dark doesnt do much for me as I have always been a night owl (((((((((((Hugs))))))))) to all of us Angel

[boflipflops36]

Its all the years of being on overload for everyone. The first one to be there in time of trouble, the first one to be a menator to all, The first one to be up and make sure all the children have a decent breakfast, clothes ironed for school, raising them, they marry divorce, have babys, Don't listen to Moma when she says, You going to regrets this one day!! Lighten up with your child! Correct him for things he should be corrected for not little stupid stuff!! My car is broke down, I don;t have money for my mortage,
I have drove all night 12 hrs to get to a sick child, sacrificed so much and yes i tried to do it all. And as a Military wife left alone had to do a lot of taking care of everything my self. Then I lost my husband to CJD and it was a sudden illiness, but i cared for him 9 mo at home in bed, with hospice help. He could not even tell me good by. He lost his abelity to walk, talk, or do anything all over a few months. I then plunged my self into being supper women to all, and my brother going to jail, my grandson, my daughter tried to commet sucide 2 times after my husband death. She was so depressed. He was a father to my 4 girls they never had, in there own. A wonderful Christian man. We still miss him.
So I think with all that has gone own (this is just a little bit) over the past 8 years, I have not took care of me. I INTEND ON DOING THAT, LITTLE BY LITTLE.
I HAVE HEARD A OLD SAYING and I am going to remember it everyday, "You can't fix stupid"
My daughters all 4 have come to take some burden off me. And they have informed the grandchildren, Granny can't solve your little problems or big one do not burden her with them. I need help with the grass and a few things done around here, when you don't have a husband anymore its rough.
Angel and heartbrokenmom, Sarah, all We got take time for us, get our lasughter back, and heal our broken spirit. I am going to read my book again The Shack.
You no there has been so much tragedy over the USA nad it is scary. A man killed his 45 yr okld wife here and his 16 yr old daughter, His sister and her son (his nephew 11). Then drove back here 50 miles and burned his house down and shot his self. He was 47. And he worked with my son-in-law, came in office that Monday evening, around 4 talking to my son-in-law about he had been to court and was going thru divorce had to go back to court Wed, Left work and 6 hrs later had done all this. Wow I am overwhelmed and I no my son-in-law is saying--I did not see any signs out of him!! That he could do this. Now the swine flu is here and we have to worry about it and our loved ones in prison, being caged up and it going thru there. They are closing a school here in Huntsville, Al all city and county until Monday. Possible 2 cases here, not confirmed yet. Any way i have had a lot to deal with and I think I just hit my breaking point last monday week. All of Dan death and things i been thru since surfaced when i least expected it, I was running own over load. I don't want to here there little problems anymore, Just good thoughts and good things, Keep ther trouble to their seld, Find another sounding board, This one has shut down.
Ilove you all and lets pull along we will make it. We will!

[NaNa7]

Originally Posted by angel mathews

[ Is it wrong that I feel this way or is this just years of stress and all the pain that I've been through making me feel this way? I am like Boflipflops said, I just like it when it's dark and I can go to sleep and forget it all.

(((((((((((Hugs))))))))) to all of us Angel[/quote]

Of course it isn't wrong. You hit the nail on the head when you said you have had years of stress and pain.