For Moms with children in prison. . .

[KDavis]

How do you handle Mother's Day? I would think that this would be one of the hardest days of the year.

As a friend to some people with children in prison, what is the best thing that I can do for them?

[Nina's Gammy]

I patiently wait for my collect call. This year though, I visited him yesterday. Next week will be crazy at the prison so I got my hugs early. It is something you learn to deal with. This day is much easier than Christmas. That day breaks me.

[meg'smom]

This will be my first Mother's without my daughters. I have my son home so I will spend it with him quietly i hope. I hope she will call. As for your friends I would suggest maybe making them dinner or getting a small cake or pie for them and take your cues from them. I think evryone handles it differently. Christmas and birthdays are the hardest for me. Maybe you ask them what you can do to make it specail for them and go from there.

[just a mum]

I've got a visit booked unless they move my son this week.

[dutchgirl1]

KDavis...... I think what MegsMom said is right-on.

I miss my son and love him very much. though he will soon be 39, we have only had a few Mothers Days together because of a bad split since he was a child. it took him many yrs to come to terms with a lot in his past and for us to begin to build a relationship. So to me Mothers Day is the hardest. This would be our first 'contact Mothers Day except he got in a bit of trouble and dropped a phase so, no visit that day. but we will see him end of month. just to know he loves me is enough to get thru. he is the only one here to... other kids live in different states. it is a bit lonely and I tend to get a bit meloncholy, but I get thru it.
I lean on my Lord when it gets hardest to bear.

Bless you for wanting to help your friends get thru this time.

hugs n prayers.
d'gal

[Fluer]

My son pays more attention to Mother's Day and my birthday and other holidays since he has been in than he ever did before he went in. Before, he was so involved in "stuff" that he either didn't remember or didn't care. For many years he didn't care about anything. Now, he draws me cards and writes long letters and always calls on that day. One year, he even was able to send me present. Never did figure out how he did that. Somehow he ordered it from a catalog and paid for it out of his canteen. A really pretty windchime. He makes sure to remember everyone on their birthday. He either draws the card or has a friend do it. These always seem nicer than the manufactured greeting cards.

[judean07]

My son committed and was busted on Mother's day, three years ago. This day is harder on me than any other. I think this is due to this was the day he was taken from my home and has not returned. This will be the last Mother's day I have to spend away from him. As for your friend, keep her busy if you can, show her some love and let her talk if she needs to. Talking to others, other than this site is hard, most don't care to listen to your heart ache and when someone takes the time to listen to me it means the world to me. It feels good to beable to talk about it, let her talk. On a side note, my son's prison is having a special visit on Thursday for mothers, they will have a band and a special lunch. I've been so excited about this visit for months, only five more days. I do wish each and everyone of you a Happy Mother's day and may you all find peace in your hearts. GOD is with us.

[angel mathews]

Last year my son and I had our pictures taken together at the prison The prison it self was the busiest I had ever saw. sad thing was that as soon as the other moms and sons had gotten there pictures taken the moms left. other than the one I see every other week. it is so sad that some only go and visit on special occasions that they can have there pictures done and then leave as soon as possible it really did sadden me to see those men/boys so down after wards. I visited with my son yesterday and he wished me a happy mothers day and asked me not to go out there next week because he said it would be crazy there again and he felt that everyday was mothers day in his heart. I will be going to my youngest sons home for a special mothers day dinner along with his wives mother and this will be my daughter in laws first mothers day as my granddaughter came into the world 4 days after mothers day last year so I think no I know it will be a good day for all of us

[cdubmom]

It's so thoughtful of you to be sensitive to your friend's needs on Mother's Day. I think that many people who have friends in our position don't really think about it, or at the very least are uncomfortable bringing it up. Really, just acknowledging her missing her child will mean so much to her. I know that if someone acknowledged my son on Mother's Day, it really would mean a lot to me. You are truly a special person. My son is only allowed phone calls on Saturdays and he is 6 hours away, so I won't be seeing him on Mother's Day. I have two other younger children, and a new grandchild, so I will be with them, but there will be an empty space where my son should be. Honestly though, I think Christmas is the worst. I missed him the most then. I know my son loves me, and I don't need a special day or a Hallmark card to make me feel better. I know he'd be with me if he could. God bless. dawn

[KDavis]

Thank you to everyone so far who has posted. I am Russian Orthodox and my Pascha (Easter) is seldom on Western Easter, and my Christmas is 13 days later. I don't have the same association with holidays. Before I converted, my husband bought me a corsage and I wore it on Mother's Day only to realize that to O+, we don't do anything in church that takes away from The Focus! LOL (Jesus.) One of the moms suggested that I put my flowers a the base of the icon of Mary, which i did. I was embarrassed, but no one thought less of me. Afterward the priest gave the flowers back to me, telling me to enjoy them more!

Even on that day, I contemplated Mary and her role, and how she must have felt (may God help me in NEVER experiencing what she did) seeing her Son treated as he was.

Now as a volunteer, I know mothers who are incarcerated and mothers whose children are incarcerated and in my church, she is wearing gold as our inmates do. I light many candles for "my" inmates and the Prison Talk community.

[jancy]

make sure they have something to do that day...or not, invite them for a walk and ice cream and be a good listener