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CLEE · #1 01-12-2004, 09:16 AM

Ok girls, here it is. I am married so this could cause "issues" in my household. But who the heck cares!

I got a letter from Lee Friday. Now most of you already know how our relationship is. For those of you who don't I'll give a quick explination. Best friend for almost 20 years, never involved more then that. Now I am sharing with you guys because I am trying to figure out how to respond to this.

A small section of the letter:

I love you Candie, I truley and deeply do. I really don't deserve you. Until you I did not know it was possible to feel this way or to ever be happy. The time I spent in Seg was so hard because I didn't have you to talk to. You have made my life so much better since you let me tell you how I feel about everything. The more you share with me and open up to me and allow me to open up to you the more I love you. And it is way past the point of where it hurts. It hurts to know I can't be there for you, to hold you, to talk to you, to show you how much you truely mean to me. Knowing I can't do these things everyday, that's what hurts. There isn't a minute that goes by that I don't think of you and thank you and say to myself how lucky I am to have you......

there's more ALOT more, but you get what I am getting at here. Now I am sure alot of you get letters like this all the time. BUT like I said, the relationship was never like this before. Actually I thought it was always better then a couples relationship. But OH MY he has opened up a whole new chapter. How do I respond? I am pretty sure I know what I am going to say, but any imput would be greatly appreciated! Hell, I don't think my husband has ever said anything like that to me before. As a matter of fact he hasn't told me he loved me in problaby 3 years. He's strange that way.

Rostonhall · #2 01-12-2004, 10:40 AM

I suppose none of us can actually tell you what to do, only you know what's best for you. All I can say is you must do what you are happiest with and to hell with anyone else.

When I told my friends I'd fallen in love with a guy I'd never met, who was on Death Row, and I didn't know if he would ever be free I was told, 'You only get one chance at happiness, grab it with both hands.'

So, I pass that pearl of wisdom on and you make of it what you want.

Rose

katmat1995 · #3 01-12-2004, 11:07 AM

hey CLee,
Wow, being one of the married women myself. And also having a husband that beyond I don't feel wanted by. I know he loves me because he tells me all the time. But, in private. We haven't been together in 4 months.
I can honestly say that that letter would def. get my attention. I mean just to think that someone out there feels that way about you. All of us want to be loved and feel loved in everyway. There is no feeling in the world like the first year of falling in love with someone.
It's up to you how you choose to answer this letter. You have got to decide what you want. And it is so easy for men / women. To be in prison and dream of this kind of love to. I know. I did 3 years. My husband came to every vistit. And on passes he was all over me. Then I come home and it is back to the way it was before I left. The only thing that changed was me. And Mark know that I don't want to grow old in this kind of relationship. He also does nothing about it. So, I know I am just buying time until I can move on.

Anyway, I didn't mean to spill the beans about my relationship. But I wish you all the luck in yours. I think if it were me I would tell him my situation. I would make him no false promises or lead him on. But, I def. wouldn't burn the letter. When is this guy getting out?

Maybe he has a friend?LOL.......If men really were like that wouldn't it be great......?

kelly gomez · #4 01-12-2004, 11:24 AM

i wish you the best of luck for what ever dicision you dicide to make all you can do is follow your heart

CLEE · #5 01-12-2004, 12:32 PM

kat- haha he is REALLY like that. And he's always been like that. He just didn't know it until now even though I've been telling him he deserves way more then he ever thought for years. I wish he would have listened to me earlier on. He's always had a heart of gold and lots of love, he just didn't know how to handle it. I responded to his letter. But he calls on Wednesday, so I'll probably talk to him all about it before he even gets my response. It's not really stressing me out. And it's not that I am really confused (OK a little but that's always and about everything) I was soooo worried this morning when I sat down to write him back. I do love him and I always have. I just didn't want anything to come out wrong. Not that it really could have. As far as me and him in a relationship, now that I am older and wiser (somewhat) I think we should have gotten together long ago, but for some reason we never did. And I have a better relationship with him then anyone else in my life. I always have. And I do believe everything happens for a reason. OK I lied, I am still stressing! SHOOT!!!!! I think I am beginning to confuse myself! I really need to talk to him! Once I talk to him I'll have my answers. I hope.

katmat1995 · #6 01-12-2004, 01:37 PM

I hope you do to (have your answers that is). When will he be out. You said you have know him a long time. I think it is wonderful. Some women may think I am being stupid since you are already married. (As I am too)
But the way I see it by looking at my mom and day (which live together because they are afraid one will get more than the other at 71 years old)
They have wasted the whole life on each other. They now sit in two recliners and argue the day away. I know they love each other. But both feel out of love when I was a child. I do not want to wake up at 70 and look over at my husband now. And know that it didn't have to be this way. I may be selfish but damn it, I want love and romance. (At least someone who knows I am alive)

Good luck to you, and keep me informed. Kat

CLEE · #7 01-12-2004, 01:54 PM

That Is A Great Way To Look At Things. Maybe I Should Try That. Thanks For The Pm Also. Ah More To Think About.

Rostonhall · #8 01-12-2004, 02:04 PM

I was unhappily married for 17 long years and my advise to anyone is grab a chance for happiness whenever you can.

Rose

TEEDEE20 · #9 01-12-2004, 02:58 PM

All I can say to you is "FOLLOW YOUR HEART GIRL"!!

Tammy

Quote:

Originally Posted by CLEE

Ok girls, here it is. I am married so this could cause "issues" in my household. But who the heck cares!

I got a letter from Lee Friday. Now most of you already know how our relationship is. For those of you who don't I'll give a quick explination. Best friend for almost 20 years, never involved more then that. Now I am sharing with you guys because I am trying to figure out how to respond to this.

A small section of the letter:

I love you Candie, I truley and deeply do. I really don't deserve you. Until you I did not know it was possible to feel this way or to ever be happy. The time I spent in Seg was so hard because I didn't have you to talk to. You have made my life so much better since you let me tell you how I feel about everything. The more you share with me and open up to me and allow me to open up to you the more I love you. And it is way past the point of where it hurts. It hurts to know I can't be there for you, to hold you, to talk to you, to show you how much you truely mean to me. Knowing I can't do these things everyday, that's what hurts. There isn't a minute that goes by that I don't think of you and thank you and say to myself how lucky I am to have you......

there's more ALOT more, but you get what I am getting at here. Now I am sure alot of you get letters like this all the time. BUT like I said, the relationship was never like this before. Actually I thought it was always better then a couples relationship. But OH MY he has opened up a whole new chapter. How do I respond? I am pretty sure I know what I am going to say, but any imput would be greatly appreciated! Hell, I don't think my husband has ever said anything like that to me before. As a matter of fact he hasn't told me he loved me in problaby 3 years. He's strange that way.

CLEE · #10 01-13-2004, 08:40 AM

Thanks You! I Am Coping Much Better Today. I Had A Long Talk With My Brother Last Night, And He Seemed To Help Things Alot. I Can't Wait To Talk To Lee Tomorrow And Get This All Out In The Open! I Do Love Him! And I Will Always Be There For Him. He Always Comes First. Ok Second, Next To My Son, No One Can Be Above That Kid. We'll See. Ah Stress, It's The Spice Of Life.

lizzi0067 · #11 01-13-2004, 03:00 PM

Ive always told myslef I dont want to be the star of the show--I want to be someones shining star....and I am not going to give up or settle till I am convinced thats how it is....and geezzz- I hope I get there someday!

CLEE · #12 01-14-2004, 08:44 AM

Lizzi - You'll Get There! I Am So Glad I Posted This. Everyone Is Giving Me Things To Think About. And I Hope By The Responses It Will Give Others Something To Think About Also. Don't Give Up Until You're 100% Happy. That Is What I Am Getting Here. And It Sounds Like The Perfect Plan. Now How I Am Actually Going To Get There Myself, Well That's Another Story. I Am Hoping To Have A Better Idea Of That Shorty. Seeing It Is Wednesday And I Am Awaiting My Phone Call!

Should Be Coming In Withing The Next 30 Minutes! It Seems Time Goes By Slower And Slower On The Visiting Days And Phone Call Days!

MizzCandy · #13 01-14-2004, 08:47 AM

I agree follow your heart!

CLEE · #14 01-14-2004, 09:22 AM

10:22...no Call Yet! I Hate Waiting! Ugh!

CLEE · #15 01-14-2004, 10:45 AM

11:44 no call yet ?????????????????? never misses a call time. unless on lockdown or in seg.

CLEE · #16 01-15-2004, 08:14 AM

Well No Call, He's In Seg Though. I Got A Letter Yesterday. Very Short And Very Frustrated. The Ticket Officer (from My Source) Pulled The Tickets He Got Sent To Seg For And Dropped Most Of Them. The Few He Has Left He Can't Be Held In Seg For. So The Officer Is Waiting For The Major To Sign Off So He Can Go Back To Population. And Since Stateville Sucks, God Only Knows When That Will Be. It Best Be Soon! I Am Going There Tuesday Either Way.