"I never thought I would see my cousin on a local news station"

[tornapart376]

-I never thought I would see my cousin on a local news station accused of committing a crime.

-I never thought I would have to think "this is the last family function I will see him at for X amount of years.."

-I never thought I would hear the words "Okay, we all have three weeks till his sentencing, lets get together as much as possible".

-I never thought I could hurt in every single part of my body, I never thought tears could produce from the inside out.

-I never thought I would see a family member get taken away in handcuffs.

-I never thought I would meet a person I could have a true form of hatred for; the person who did this to my cousin and my family..

-I never thought I could feel the pain from his Wife, Mother, and Father.

-I never thought I would beg God for something with the topic prison..

-I never thought I would be looking up directions for a correctional institution.

-I never thought I would write letters to my cousin in prison.

-I never thought I would be angry with God..

-I never thought my family would ever be in this much pain..

-I never thought I would be in this much pain...







-I never thought I would feel so alone and so lost...............

[RachelKaren]

Oh sweetie, I am sorry you are in so much pain. Please know that however lost you feel, you are definantly not alone. We are all here for you. If you let us we will help you through this. The people on this site became like family to me when G was away. I could never have gotten through it all without them. There is so much knowledge, support, love, and understanding. Welcome to the PTO family!

[ead]

I have said most of those. It's hard. Hang in there. Welcome to PTO.

I can add:

I never thought that I would be glad that I found an online group for family and friends of those in prison.

[space tourist]

The Bible says Jesus was "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief." It makes me think that he understood about applying to visit loved ones in prison, he knew about not wearing v neck shirts to see them, he knew where the coffee machine was next to the intensive care unit at the hospital...

Of course those exact things weren't invented yet but...the same general idea there.. That he knew what trouble was like and it's so nice to have other people who understand scrounging for quarters and it's not laundry!

[gj07]

Yes, I agree with you. Just a few years ago I was in such a different world. I stop sometimes and think, if only I could turn back the clock I would be so at peace and would not ask for anything more.

I know that God does not like what he is seeing in our world today. Do you ever have the feeling that God is wanting something of you? Does he want our voice and our letters to tell the world what is going on? Who can best tell the story to those that are so smug and know nothing of this world than those of us that have walked on both sides of the street. We have walked in their shoes. I was so smug as I read letters about our prison system. I always thought people had many chances, they didn't go to prison the first time they got mixed up with drugs and I would never have to worry about being a part of that world, but then wham, one day you are in the other world.

I feel God wants us, so let's all vow to make this our life time mission to try and change this horrible system. When your loved one is free whether in months or many years, let's all keep on trying to help others. There are many organizations trying to change this system, let's join all. If you can't find any, send me a private message and I will give you the names of a few.

No matter what happens always come back to Prisontalk Online even when your loved ones are free. Remember the ones that helped you and remember there will always be someone else needing your help. If we all join together and no one drops out, we are many and somehow maybe we can get the word out.

[gj07]

Let me add a note to my remarks above. You say you never knew you could feel so much hate. Yes, I know the feeling I have felt it to. I saw a person lie and knew they had lied, but I feel justifies it even to theirself by saying what good this person feels they did. This was not for doing good but for career progression.

People told me I had to learn to forgive. Two verses of the Bible have helped me here. One is "What you do to the least of them you do to me." With this I know it wasn't just my loved one and his family that suffered that day, but God suffered with us.

The other one is "vengence is mine saith the Lord." I know there is no way I could ever show this person what pain this person caused, but I know God can. I know in God's own wisdom and time this person will know the pain that we felt that day. With this I now try to feel sympathy for this person that worked so hard to put a person away, that said they had such a strong case, but could not use just the truth. Yes, people that use others for their personal gain, I do feel, God was hurt and God will show them so we do not have to hate.