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brittany0206 · #1 11-22-2009, 12:02 AM

This might sound stupid and I'm way overly upset right now. Tonight I went and hung out with a guy friend and I flirted.. I didn't have sex with him and I didn't kiss him but I didn't stop the flirting and I play wrestled with him a little.. IDK.. the sad part is is I'm not even the smallest bit interested in this guy or any other guy.. He tried to kiss me and I didn't let that happen but I still feel like shit. I know I didn't do anything HUGE wrong but the night ended with me telling him that I could never see him again.. Should I tell my boyfriend about it or just never see the guy again? My boyfriend loves me more then I ever thought someone could though I think that sounds kind of funny.. He writes me poems and the cutest letters.. and I have no idea what I would ever do with out him.. He is also extremely sensitive when it comes to anything I do, which is amusing cuz everyone else sees him as tough and blah blah.. and I'm the only one who is there for him right now and I don't want him to flip out IDK.. I just feel guilty.. any advice? Guess I'm just looking for someone to vent to about it a little..

XBOXPROGURL · #2 11-22-2009, 12:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brittany0206

This might sound stupid and I'm way overly upset right now. Tonight I went and hung out with a guy friend and I flirted.. I didn't have sex with him and I didn't kiss him but I didn't stop the flirting and I play wrestled with him a little.. IDK.. the sad part is is I'm not even the smallest bit interested in this guy or any other guy.. He tried to kiss me and I didn't let that happen but I still feel like shit. I know I didn't do anything HUGE wrong but the night ended with me telling him that I could never see him again.. Should I tell my boyfriend about it or just never see the guy again? My boyfriend loves me more then I ever thought someone could though I think that sounds kind of funny.. He writes me poems and the cutest letters.. and I have no idea what I would ever do with out him.. He is also extremely sensitive when it comes to anything I do, which is amusing cuz everyone else sees him as tough and blah blah.. and I'm the only one who is there for him right now and I don't want him to flip out IDK.. I just feel guilty.. any advice? Guess I'm just looking for someone to vent to about it a little..

Girl I see nothing wrong wit it...ur only human...long as u know what ur boundaries are...I have flirted wit plenty guys but my heart is still wit my boo...I even tell guys I'm not interested in anything...just conversation... I have a man. Some respect that...so I say go out and enjoy yourself and no I would not tell my man...why would I, I did nothing wrong...so I would keep it to urself...why cause drama were drama is not needed....

Shush · #3 11-22-2009, 03:43 AM

no relationship is the same. I share all with my Man. and I also share when I feel lousy, or this would between the both of us.
when I go out and meet other folks, I share what I experienced and I act like he is aside me.

my Man did need a certain time at the beginning to get use to this, as he feared I could like an other more than him. he also shared his feelings and we worked us through all this. today it is just normal to share all. and I never hold back where my Man is or that I have a Man. a guy who would not respect this would not sit near me for a long time, this to be sure! but it really depends on how I act and what I want.

to make such an experience is a good thing, as you see what would be "if". so you will not allow this to happen in this way any next time. if you share this now or later, well, this is up to you to decide. you know your relationship and you have to decide this for yourself. follow your heart!

mkc'swife · #4 11-22-2009, 07:02 AM

baby girl we are all HUMAN and humans mess up from time to time but in your case, dont beat yourself up because u flirted, hey sometimes it good to flirt , it reminds us that we are still attractive to other people....

Firehouse09 · #5 11-22-2009, 07:25 AM

K, I've been both the person that flirted with someone else while in a (past) relationship, and the person who had a boyfriend who flirted with someone else while he was dating me....so I can seriously tell you from experience that:

You wanna tell him to help yourself feel better about the situation....but honestly, it'll hurt him to hear it and, especially since he's in a place that can't call you or come see you whenever he has even slight doubts about your relationship, it'll weaken the trust between you guys.

He'll think the worst every time you go out, even if you have no intentions of doing anything with anyone.

I do agree that every relationship is different so you have to really analyze yours, but I'd chalk it up to a learning experience and pat yourself on the back for *ONLY* flirting!!!

HisElizabeth · #6 11-22-2009, 07:38 AM

I'm honest with my man, but I don't tell him when some one flirts with me or vice versa. It isn't trying to keep anything from him or being dishonest, I just don't want him stressing about it. He can't be here right now and the last thing he needs is to constantly hear how some one hit on me or I was flirting with one of my guy friends. It'd hurt his ego, make him more nervous about what's going on while he's away, and stress him for no reason. I never let anything go past words and I usually put them in their place with a quickness so I handle my own- no reason to bother him with it. You flirted. You didn't do anything decietful or betray him. And the important thing is you stopped it before it crossed that line into cheating. Don't beat yourself up over it, and my advice is don't stress your relationship over something that was harmless.

MaggieMMay · #7 11-22-2009, 08:38 AM

Don't tell. Take the fact that you didn't cheat and still feel guilty as a good learning experience as far as how you feel about your boyfriend. You know where your heart lies even when faced with the right here right now temptation. I went through something similar when my now husband first got together. I met a guy--handsome, successful, & totally smitten with me--and even went out on a date (nothing happened, he was naturally also a total gentlman). We got along great, had similar interests & he was definitely a good "catch" in many ways. Despite all of that, I felt horrible inside & all I could think about was my husband. Once it was all said & done, I knew I was exactly where I belonged & who I was meant to be with. It was just the reassurance that I needed. I went to visit the next time with a big smile on my face, love in my heart, and a clear conscience.

waitn4mybaby · #8 11-22-2009, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvnMT4evr

K, I've been both the person that flirted with someone else while in a (past) relationship, and the person who had a boyfriend who flirted with someone else while he was dating me....so I can seriously tell you from experience that:

You wanna tell him to help yourself feel better about the situation....but honestly, it'll hurt him to hear it and, especially since he's in a place that can't call you or come see you whenever he has even slight doubts about your relationship, it'll weaken the trust between you guys.

He'll think the worst every time you go out, even if you have no intentions of doing anything with anyone.

I do agree that every relationship is different so you have to really analyze yours, but I'd chalk it up to a learning experience and pat yourself on the back for *ONLY* flirting!!!

I totally agree!

Tiny xo · #9 11-22-2009, 11:53 AM

i wouldn't say anything if i were you. take it as a learning experience, now you know not to put yourself around other guys in that type of way. keep this experience to yourself, you'll only worry him & probably make him angry if you tell him. it will start something even though you physically didn't do anything & it will be a waste of a most likely argument. i don't go out w. guys cause i wouldn't want my boyfriend out w. girls. i don't flirt w. guys. basically i don't do anything i wouldn't be happy with him doing. don't beat yourself up over it cause you did not cheat on him. so just forget about it! & at least you told the guy you couldn't hang out anymore.

Shine730 · #10 11-22-2009, 12:50 PM

my man knows i value honesty hugely, but honestly i wouldnt tell. you werent looking for anything, and you didnt do anything with him, it seems it was just innocent flirting and i get why you feel bad cuz i'm sure i would too i if i did it, but i dont think its anything too important to make a big deal of with ur guy because it was something minor but since he's locked up he may blow it way outta proportion and then it'll just get worse

LLFlover · #11 11-22-2009, 02:32 PM

DO NOT TELL HIM!!!!

#1. You cant take it back after you tell him.
#2. If you arent going to see the guy again its not a big deal.
#3. It will only upset him and remember, they call us not us calling them!!! If he decided that you didnt want to be with him and that you were moving on, he only has to stop writing and calling you.
#4. Telling him that you play wrestled with another guy will only make him believe that you had sex with the guy. NOTHING you can say will make it sound any other way.
#5. Telling him will only make YOU feel better. It will NOT make him feel good at all and when they get depressed in there they get hostile and thats when they end up in trouble and get sent to the hole.

Take my advise and dont tell him.

You told us so it is off your chest if you had kept it to yourself you would feel even guiltier. Take comfort in the fact that we are all here for you to vent to.

And most importantly.... DONT DO IT AGAIN!!! If you love him then dont put yourself in situations that you may feel guilty about later.

Chin up.