Will you have free access to their cellphone?

[Wobabi]

TGIF Loungers ,,I think I betta stay threading down here for my own personal safety,,Hahaha
But anywayz Day got me to thinking about this whole infidelity issue some more.
Like I stated in her thread,,the single point of contact for all the cheating that I have been witnessing from those recently released has been that darn CELLPHONE!
I keep in contact with a few ladies who are not on PTO and its either been Sexting, X Rated Picture Mail or plain ole these ladies busted that code and heard the voicemail.
I have a friend who is a Chicago Police officer and he said the Number one reason or cause for Domestic Violence issues has been over the CELLPHONE
So what I want to know ,,Will you have free access to their cellphone?
Will you want to check it?
If he one day decides you cant even breath on his cellphone will you think he is cheating?
Will you be tempted to check the call records ?
Or will the cellphone not bother you at all no matter what time of the night it rings?

[BlueEyedEllie]

lol,i had to laugh when i read this as marc and i just discussed this yesterday.he says the only people he's interested in talking to is me,his and my kids and his sponsor and i should feel free to check his phone records at any time as he has nothing to hide.but why should i if he's given me no reason at all to distrust him??!!we're much more concerned about him finding employment and adjusting to society again and getting some family counseling which he mentioned he wants to do,just today he was talking about us getting counseling.in the grand scheme of things his or my cell phone is the least of our worries!!!cute thread!!

[sidewalker]

i dont think he will have a cell phone

[~Shadowfax~]

No I would never check his cell phone, in my opinion that is an invasion of privacy and I am really big on that - privacy. I have nothing to hide and would be mortified if I walked in on him checking out my cell.

Now, that being said, if he's getting calls in the middle of the night I would ask who's calling at this hour, because in my opinion that's just being shady.

[Lorraine]

I found out my last ex cheated on me with someone he met from a chatroom he accessed from his cell phone. I knew something was going on because he would never let me touch it, he had passwords on everything, he would even take it with him to shower. Eventually I got to sneak a peek and found the evidence. Now I am wary of the cell phones.

I'll tell you right now, yes I will look at his cell. I won't be fanatical about it and look through it every time he puts it down, but I do expect free access to it just as he will have to mine. But more than that, I will be watching his behavior. It's easy to just delete VMs and texts before you come home, so I will be watching to see how he acts with it. It's not even that I don't trust him, because I do, I just feel like I'm too sensitive to the phone issues and being cautious is more important.

[J&D7]

No I wont be. Personally I think thats going too far and crossing the line. I mean what's next? Following him in his car? Checking up on him at work?

The least I can do for him is give HIM the same blind faith he's giving me right now whilst he's locked up. He trusts me 200% right now and he cant even see me on a day to day basis and notice any odd behaviours, so I think I owe him that same kind of faith back, especially because he hasnt done anything for me to doubt him anyway.

BUT the latter half of your Qn is a different matter lol. If he's getting strange calls in the middle of the night, then hell yeah its ON and I'm going to find out whats going on no matter what.

[esteli]

Not me, if I have no reason to doubt, then why would I want to go around checking his call records or his cell phone. Nah, not for me to even want free access to his cell phone. I'm into privacy. That's his phone and this one is mine. If he doesn't want to take a call in front of me then he has his reasons. Why would I want to if he hasn't given me a reason to distrust him?

[snowblind]

I'm thinking that he won't have a cell phone. Friends are either in prison or he has lost touch. Family sucks. I'm the only one out here. I have a cell phone right now. He can use my cell phone if necessary. So, that takes care of that!! One less expense.

[mrs.crishon]

I don't think that I am going well I know I am not going to look at his phone because when you look you find.

Originally Posted by Wobabi

TGIF Loungers ,,I think I betta stay threading down here for my own personal safety,,Hahaha
But anywayz Day got me to thinking about this whole infidelity issue some more.
Like I stated in her thread,,the single point of contact for all the cheating that I have been witnessing from those recently released has been that darn CELLPHONE!
I keep in contact with a few ladies who are not on PTO and its either been Sexting, X Rated Picture Mail or plain ole these ladies busted that code and heard the voicemail.
I have a friend who is a Chicago Police officer and he said the Number one reason or cause for Domestic Violence issues has been over the CELLPHONE
So what I want to know ,,Will you have free access to their cellphone?
Will you want to check it?
If he one day decides you cant even breath on his cellphone will you think he is cheating?
Will you be tempted to check the call records ?
Or will the cellphone not bother you at all no matter what time of the night it rings?

[chelseagreg1427]

We share everything in life. We both use each others phones and are always "allowed" to just pick up the phone and use it. Neither of us have anything to hide and we feel we should just be open with what we're doing.

it doesn't mean we are "checking up" on each other, we just share everything, its how we are

So if one of us all of a sudden started being secretive with our phones, the other would definitely think something is up.

plus, sometimes we only have one cell so we have to share it.

[Mrs_Krobetzky]

I highly HIGHLY doubt Ryan will have a cell phone anyway. Eventually the day might come where he gets one, but thats not cause for me to have to snoop. Now....I do know the signs so if he starts jumping my back or walking out of rooms, you know red flags then yeah i'm gonna look but I am more worried about him finding lost 'friends' that are no good rather than him cheating.

[Wobabi]

Originally Posted by Lori1817

I found out my last ex cheated on me with someone he met from a chatroom he accessed from his cell phone. I knew something was going on because he would never let me touch it, he had passwords on everything, he would even take it with him to shower. Eventually I got to sneak a peek and found the evidence. Now I am wary of the cell phones.

I'll tell you right now, yes I will look at his cell. I won't be fanatical about it and look through it every time he puts it down, but I do expect free access to it just as he will have to mine. But more than that, I will be watching his behavior. It's easy to just delete VMs and texts before you come home, so I will be watching to see how he acts with it. It's not even that I don't trust him, because I do, I just feel like I'm too sensitive to the phone issues and being cautious is more important.

Hi Lori thanks for responding!
Wow that top bold are the very actions some of these ladies experienced,,,Caint even breathe on it, so you are right,, a change in behavior means something has changed.

[Wobabi]

Originally Posted by J&D7

No I wont be. Personally I think thats going too far and crossing the line. I mean what's next? Following him in his car? Checking up on him at work?

The least I can do for him is give HIM the same blind faith he's giving me right now whilst he's locked up. He trusts me 200% right now and he cant even see me on a day to day basis and notice any odd behaviours, so I think I owe him that same kind of faith back, especially because he hasnt done anything for me to doubt him anyway.

BUT the latter half of your Qn is a different matter lol. If he's getting strange calls in the middle of the night, then hell yeah its ON and I'm going to find out whats going on no matter what.

LOL Dee I love it-Both sides of that coin!

[tee.dot.q]

Nope, I am not trying to check up on any grown man. His cell phone will be his and mine is mine. If he is going to stray - me checking his cell phone isn't going to prevent him from doing so - he would just be careful about cleaning it up. If I feel the need to be investigating and peeping his personal stuff chances are I need to leave the relationship. Now if he is getting 3am calls then I would "ask" what the nature of them are - I wouldn't take matters into my own hands by snooping and invading his privacy.

I have found that most women that are ON a mans cell phone are either extremely insecure or already know things that should have made them question the relationship.

Men were cheating LONG before the advent of wireless communication.

[Wobabi]

Originally Posted by tee.dot.q

Nope, I am not trying to check up on any grown man. His cell phone will be his and mine is mine. If he is going to stray - me checking his cell phone isn't going to prevent him from doing so - he would just be careful about cleaning it up. If I feel the need to be investigating and peeping his personal stuff chances are I need to leave the relationship. Now if he is getting 3am calls then I would "ask" what the nature of them are - I wouldn't take matters into my own hands by snooping and invading his privacy.

I have found that most women that are ON a mans cell phone are either extremely insecure or already know things that should have made them question the relationship.

Men were cheating LONG before the advent of wireless communication.

,,,,Ok Tee all our men are grown and the fact is cheating was not AS EASY before the advent of cellphones.
think about it,,,Domestic Violence is UP,,infidelity is UP and the beginning catalyst is that cellphone. Thats not a coinkydink in my humble opinion.
,,,for the bold part,,what would he have to clean up tho?
I mean if he knows his cellie is his private property and you would never touch it,,,he would have no need right?

[dmf]

I don't know that he'll have one either. I do have one so if he wants to use it, by all means, go ahead. He doesn't have a lot of people he'd be calling anyways, so I don't think it's an issue we'll be having anytime soon. But even if he did, I don't feel the need to snoop. I'd be curious about late night calls, but who knows if I'd even wake up for them lol...I'm kind of an old lady:P

[TyronesWife]

I'm pretty sure I'll have an all access pass to his cellphone but I'm not the type to run and check it. Now if he starts to tell me it's off limits then we're definately going to have a problem. I doubt I'll think he's cheating but I'll know he's up to no good if he flips the script for no reason.

[Wobabi]

Originally Posted by TyronesWife

I'm pretty sure I'll have an all access pass to his cellphone but I'm not the type to run and check it. Now if he starts to tell me it's off limits then we're definately going to have a problem. I doubt I'll think he's cheating but I'll know he's up to no good if he flips the script for no reason.

LOL TWife,,,Ok! He is up to *something*,,,it might not be cheating buts its *sumptin*

[tee.dot.q]

Originally Posted by Wobabi

,,,,Ok Tee all our men are grown and the fact is cheating was not AS EASY before the advent of cellphones.
think about it,,,Domestic Violence is UP,,infidelity is UP and the beginning catalyst is that cellphone. Thats not a coinkydink in my humble opinion.
,,,for the bold part,,what would he have to clean up tho?
I mean if he knows his cellie is his private property and you would never touch it,,,he would have no need right?

I am saying IF I was the type to be all up in his electronic devices, it wouldn't mean I'd be preventing anything, it just means he would have to clean it up if it were dirty. Feel me?

And as far as electronic handheld devices being the catalyst for societies problems... Uh, I doubt it. It's like saying because a man has a car it means he gonna drive it to another woman... I don't buy it.

[Wobabi]

Originally Posted by tee.dot.q

I am saying IF I was the type to be all up in his electronic devices, it wouldn't mean I'd be preventing anything, it just means he would have to clean it up if it were dirty. Feel me?

And as far as electronic handheld devices being the catalyst for societies problems... Uh, I doubt it. It's like saying because a man has a car it means he gonna drive it to another woman... I don't buy it.

Tee it must be a USA thing then,,, because they have tons of articles and new stories about how the internet has broken up many families.Too much cyber cheating going on.And Facebook? Oh forget it!
Like I said My cop friend told me it goes down over that cellphone like never before and he is out there in the trenches when it pops off.

[NoOne1994]

Yes. Plus, I gotta show him how to work the dang thing. Last cell phone he had was Nextel, back when they *actually* worked

[tee.dot.q]

For the record - we do have cell phones up here in Canada... Shoot, we even got touch them purty screen ones.

Just saying - I don't think geography is the point. A man who isn't inclined to cheat isn't going to be forced to cheat by the computer, the cellphone, the blackberry or the pager. The tools are only there for the man who wants to use them...

Originally Posted by Wobabi

Tee it must be a USA thing then,,, because they have tons of articles and new stories about how the internet has broken up many families.Too much cyber cheating going on.And Facebook? Oh forget it!
Like I said My cop friend told me it goes down over that cellphone like never before and he is out there in the trenches when it pops off.

[Wobabi]

Originally Posted by tee.dot.q

For the record - we do have cell phones up here in Canada... Shoot, we even got touch them purty screen ones.

Just saying - I don't think geography is the point. A man who isn't inclined to cheat isn't going to be forced to cheat by the computer, the cellphone, the blackberry or the pager. The tools are only there for the man who wants to use them...

LOL,, I use to work for Nortel so I do know you have cellphones,,, BUT if you are saying you don't see these meduims/tools,,,the internet or cellphones,,, leading to a rise in infidelity then I AM saying THAT must be a USA thing because it goes down here.
These tools have made it EASIER to cheat.
Think about it,,,the majority of men on dating websites here in the US are married men
Too many stories to tell about it on this side of the border.

[chelseagreg1427]

Originally Posted by Wobabi

LOL,, I use to work for Nortel so I do know you have cellphones,,, BUT if you are saying you don't see these meduims/tools,,,the internet or cellphones,,, leading to a rise in infidelity then I AM saying THAT must be a USA thing because it goes down here.
These tools have made it EASIER to cheat.
Think about it,,,the majority of men on dating websites here in the US are married men
Too many stories to tell about it on this side of the border.

I think tee's point is that its not about the technology.. its about the man. if the man wants to cheat, he will find a way. the majority of men on dating websites may be married, but those men clearly just want to cheat.. they would do it whether it was on the computer or not.

Sure it might be easier for many men because of cell phones, etc., however its the thought and the fact that they are actively searching out women to cheat with, not where or how they found them.

if a man wants to cheat, he will find a way. he doesn't need technology to help him.

sorry if thats not what you were saying tee.

[afirsttimer]

Hey Babi, it's been a long time but to answer your question, yes I will have access to his cellphone. I did before he went in and I will when he comes home. He never went through my cell but I sure as hell went through his and he knew it. I never would sneak, I think that's just wrong. I would do it in front of him all the time. I know, sad huh..............that's just me but I want to know.