Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

doc11 · #1 01-22-2010, 09:12 PM

Seems there's not much action in the Australian forums, so I was just wondering if there's anyone there that's supporting a loved one, friend etc currently in custody in Australia?

If so, where is your loved one located, how long for and how are you holding up?

Also, are there any previously incarcerated people around?

Thanks

J&D7 · #2 01-22-2010, 10:46 PM

Hey doc11

I've been here on PTO for a year, and noticed that its a bit quiet too! Hopefully a few of the newbies will post some more.

My bf's in Long Bay, NSW at the moment but may get transferred soon, who knows what they'll do

. I live in Vic, so this has been VERY difficult to say the least, and we're only managing monthly or so visits at the moment. He's been in for just over a year and God willing, he'll get parole and be released on July 1st!! Fingers crossed!!

So we're about two thirds of the way through.. I wouldnt say that its gotten easier but I've gotten used to this way of life thats for sure. I still have my really bad days and days where I'm just fed up with it all but thats why I love PTO

T_T · #3 01-23-2010, 02:07 AM

hi
my hubby is located in a smaps at silverwater
he doesnt come up for parole until april 2012
i suppose this christmas was pretty awful as it was our first christmas apart
i guess i am lucky because at least i dont have to far to travel for visits
but like everyone else i miss him incredibly

girlfordave · #4 01-23-2010, 03:06 AM

Hi all,

I check on here often to see if anything new has been posted. It is quiet... I guess a lot of questions have been asked and answered in previous threads.

My friend is on remand; currently at Lithgow CC. We don't expect him to be sentenced until later this year. Makes it hard when you don't know how long this will go on...

It is a struggle every day... you miss them so much... mail is really slow there and it is too expensive for them to call all the time... so that makes it even harder. Although I shouldn't complain, I am sure it is much more difficult for others... at least I can drive to visit each weekend... others are not so lucky.

T_T - pardon my ignorance but what is smaps?

Cheers,
GFD

doc11 · #5 01-23-2010, 05:14 AM

thanks for replying! Although it sucks that we need this place, it's good to know there's others out there feeling the same as me

T_T · #6 01-23-2010, 12:27 PM

dear gfd,
smap is a special management area protective
i feel for those who have loved ones on remand or unsentenced at least i have a date

T_T
(a newbie)

doc11 · #7 01-23-2010, 04:09 PM

having a date would be nice, i've been told my friend could do anywhere up to 25 years.

billy1 · #8 12-29-2010, 04:33 AM

Hi everyone. I am new to PTO- my fiance has just been sentenced to 10 months. He will be out Oct 2011. I, like everyone else going through the same thing as me, miss him very much. I have good days and bad days. It is so nice to be able to go on PTO as there really is no support in the community for loved ones on the outside. Hope everyone is doing ok and thanks for the support.

*Becky2* · #9 12-29-2010, 03:01 PM

Hi my husband was away for 18 months but he got out in February this year. this was our first xmas since then (and my first birthday

and it was wonderful. What I find amazing is how quickly it all fades away....maybe its just because he wasn't away for that long. Has anyone else noticed that?

Away_From_Him · #10 01-01-2011, 10:39 PM

I hope it does fade away eventually. My fiance was sentenced FINALLY in late December and he received 14 months. This has been the toughest Christmas and New Year of my life. My heart goes out to all those without their partners this year. I've noticed the forums have been getting quieter and quieter...some people need to talk and some need to just read and know there is a community out there who understands what we and our loved ones go thru.
Happy New Year. May this one be better than the last.

*Becky2* · #11 01-02-2011, 11:22 PM

Well AFH its really funny. While my guy was away from July 08 till Jan 10 everyone who had gone through the same thing said "oh once he comes home you'll be amazed how quickly it fades" and I didn't believe them. Because it had dominated our lives for that entire 18 months AND the two years prior while we waited to go to sentencing (out on bail thank goodness) it was hard to believe that it could suddenly not be that important. I imagine it would be the same for someone who perhap had had to be on kidney dialysis for years and then suddenly getting a transplant. All of a suddent the thing that had defined, directed and dominated your life for so long was no longer there. Now we just have to work our way through stupid parole conditions and invasive home visists....in April 2012 that will be over too and we can FINALLY move forward from the whole mess. My thoughts also were with those who I know are still travelling the path. Hang in there. It DOES fade when they get out.

anticyclone · #12 01-21-2011, 12:36 AM

well here i am sitting once again in front of my computer reading reading reading! my little bro has just been moved to longbay after being in silverwater for the last 7 weeks - im just not sure how we will ever be able to move on - the last 7 weeks has been the longest ever and its ONLY 7 weeks! dont know when he will be sentenced and if these 7 weeks have taken this long i dont know how the next few (hopefully) years will go!!! does anyone else feel like time is standing still!!!

Larra · #13 01-21-2011, 04:38 AM

I think time tends to go slower early in sentence when it's all very new and it's all you can focus on. Today I was listening to a talk about the floods in Qld and how affected people can help themselves to cope. They said to break it down into manageable chunks so it all doesn't feel so overwhelming. I think they were saying not to think about the whole task at once, just concentrate on the first stage, then you can think about the next stage etc. I first concentrated on sentencing, then as each season passed I celebrated a little etc. Once the half way mark is reached, it's a much better feeling, as you know that there's more behind them, less ahead. It's certainly not an easy time, but when I looked back at the end, it did seem that it had gone more quickly than I thought. All the best.

girlfordave · #14 01-24-2011, 02:04 AM

Hi Anticyclone,

I am looking forward to looking back on this nightmare and hopefully not remembering how painful it was at the time (perhaps it is a bit like what they say about childbirth? You forget the pain of it when you are holding your loved one in your arms again??? LOL!)

My friend is still awaiting sentencing - it has now been 15 months and 4 different prisons and we hope to have an answer in the next couple of months.

Yes, the first few weeks are the most agonising but it is true, you do adapt to it and you learn to deal with the disappointments and the sudden movements and the day to day 'limbo' that you are in when a loved one is in prison. The frustrations of dealing with the different personalities of prison staff - some are friendly and helpful and some are rude and uncaring and the bureaucracy and rules of the different facilities. The long waits on the phone to book visits and the shortness of actual visits. It is a bit of a rollercoaster ride but bronte and becky2 are right - it does get easier.

I think it does help to break the time up into chunks and just try to keep positive as much as you can. When someone is rude to me or inconsiderate I continue to be polite and friendly so their attitude doesn't drag me down. I try to support my friend and let him know how happy I am to talk to him on the phone and I write a lot of letters. He says it helps him to cope.

Good luck. I hope your brother gets sentenced soon and you are another step closer to having him home again.

Cheers,
GFD

doc11 · #15 05-22-2011, 08:14 PM

I haven't logged into the site for a while. My friend is still inside, 3 years last Feb and no end in sight. We've no idea when he will get sentenced let alone when he might get out! I haven't heard from him for a few months - the longest he's ever gone without writing - so I don't know how he is and it breaks me heart.

PrisonWife88 · #16 05-22-2011, 08:22 PM

Hi All, I dont think many people know of this site .. THEY SHOULD!! This has helped me so much!! My hubby is in BCC and will be released Jan 2012 so am counting down the days

b_boy · #17 05-22-2011, 08:39 PM

I'm on bail, first court appearance in 31st may. I dont know how long it will take before the sentencing. Last nine weeks had been so slow.

PTO had been answering most of my question since I dont know anyone who had been to prison. I feel much better knowing that the prison conditions are not like what I see in tv shows.

Apart of me wish that I just want to get over "limbo" state and serve the punishment that I deserve. Another part of me wishing I want to stay longer with loved ones, a little bit longer.

PrisonWife88 · #18 05-22-2011, 08:52 PM

My Husband was out on Bail for over 3 years before sentencing!! That was the worst part i think .. The Police just kept pushing it back and back and back and it was just horrible .. Best of Luck to you b_boy!!

b_boy · #19 05-22-2011, 09:29 PM

Thanks prisonwife, my lawyer did first adjournment, negotiation with police regarding charges. police aren't responding to my lawyer. It is very furstration. my life is on hold "limbo".

PrisonWife88 · #20 05-22-2011, 09:37 PM

Ah the Lovely Police .. Held all their info from my Husband Lawyer till 8 weeks before he was taken away .. sucks but thats what they can apparently do .. Our Lawyer however did not tell us anything and just sent my Husband a txt saying he needed to attend court to be sentenced a day before it was to happen so i really hope this does not happen to you, Take every day as a blessing as like us you dont know how much time you have, Have you been told how long you could be possibly be looking at?? Our Lawyer told us 7+ Years .. Hubby got 9 months so that shows how terrible the Lawyer was LOL

b_boy · #21 05-22-2011, 09:49 PM

I went around to six lawyers, one said three years, two said two years, legalaid said one year or less, wesley legal said less than 50% that I would go to jail, my lawyer said 18months, after I hired him, he said he would try to get me off suspended sentence but can't promise anything. The case is being heard at local court so the maximum that the local court can give is five years.

Police charged me more than what I have commited. My lawyer doesn't want me to plead guilty to something that I didn't do. I can feel that this is going to drag on. I'm really sorry that I did the crime and everyone who I hurt. I want to mend the broken pieces but can't mend them in limbo state.

MadeInOz · #22 05-23-2011, 05:37 AM

My experience is that they usually charge you with the most outrageous thing they can justify, and through the course of the case, it is whittled down to what they can prove. It's a hard road to walk, and there are a lot of steps along the way which can make the process drag on even longer. Keep your chin up! The past is the past, and you can be a different person starting from now.

bombshell · #23 05-23-2011, 07:16 AM

b_boy, I think that is a normal police tactic unfortunately. It was the same for my guy. He had a long list of charges against him, more than half were dropped during the hearings because 1. they were inaccurate and 2. they could not be proven.

Good Luck! Love that you are showing remorse, the only way is forward. Don't plead guilty to what you didn't commit, show your remorse, hopefully your lawyer is good and your sentence won't be much if anything... at least no time served would be good.

I wouldn't wish jail on my worst enemy. I think there are far better avenues then a cell.

Bezzz · #24 06-06-2011, 05:26 PM

I look at this a bit my other hafe is in arart and ive still got about 3 ywars to go to he comes home. This site is very helpfull to me even though i havent been on hear for very long.

b_boy · #25 06-07-2011, 10:28 PM

After appearing at local court on 31st of May, I had been told that I will get sentenced on 21st June

What should I bring to sentencing date? I had been told to bring $100 (not more than that), Up to five phone numbers and addresses, a warm jacket/jumper, eat as much fav food as I can now until the day, I might not get fed on that day.

Should I get a haircut? Any other suggestions? Thanking you in advance.