Husband accidently sent his pen pal letter to me, should I be mad?

[BlueEyedEllie]

never heard the term "pimp the pen",before...not sure what you're worked up about if you knew he was this way......i'm a little confused so i'll just keep it moving!!

[PEN PAL 2 FEW]

Hmmm, IDK Call it old school way of thinking or what have you, but when 2 people love each other, enough to get married and be together, why would there be the need for other pen pals? Even before getting married, there was obviously some love there for the question of marriage to come up? I guess I'm just different when it comes to the subject of marriage but I would have not married had I known he had pen pals, more than one and def that there were some feelings involved?
good luck Sweetie, keep us posted

[Fancy]

Yeah,,,, do you really think he sent it to you by mistake?

I really do not think it was a mistake.

Best wishes for a happy marriage.....whatever this situation is, I do wish you happiness.

[txsapphire]

Originally Posted by MagicandB

Me and my hubby have been married 6 months..been together 2 yrs before he wld pimp da pen so to speak.and was never serious or interested in getting serious..well he asked if one of his penpals cld visit him I said I wasn't comfortable..so he dropped it and said he wld write her and tell her to have a nice life he accidently sends da letter to me and it talks about feelings they shared but he told her I had his heart and she needed to respect it should I be mad?

Girl you should lose your mind on him.

If sean done that he would only do it once. I don't care if he was "pimpin the pen". That is disrespectful.

My husband would never do that. He knows what would happend and he wouldn't want that. I'm not a game player and he know's i'd cut and go. Painful or not id do it. After that i would always wonder if he was cheating. And for me a relationship without trust isn't one that will work.

[Xellena]

Okay....so....Hmmm...how to deal with this one? Me? I would just send it back to him with a note that says....LOVE ya babe, Might want to send this to (insert name here) instead of me.

Love you (insert your name here)

The less you say...the less botherd you seem to be....the more truth you will receive. Psychology 101

[scooters wifey]

Originally Posted by kylee23

I looked over your old posts and saw you said you had been married for a year and together for 4. here it says married 6 months and together for 2? you also said yall were trying to have a baby? im confused

i read her old post too so i am with you confused i answered but only what iwould do if it was my husband

[magicnb]

Originally Posted by kylee23

I looked over your old posts and saw you said you had been married for a year and together for 4. here it says married 6 months and together for 2? you also said yall were trying to have a baby? im confused

We were common law 6mths b4 we got it done officially in the county..I talked with my pastors wife last nite but all I can do is pray

[shannameek]

This could be taken more than one way. Did he mean for you to recieve this letter because I believe they are more careful than that. Do you trust him, well I guess you do you married him. However if he told her you have his heart then you shouldn't be mad. Please believe if something is going on it will come to the light eventually. Good luck and God bless.

[SRM2688]

Don't mean to sound harsh or anything. But this whole situation sounds kind of screwed up to me. I don't even know what to say...
But if I was with a dude as bf/gf, engaged, married, "common law"... WHATEVER... There is no reason why he needs to be "pimping the pen" or having pen pals and developing feelings. Sounds pretty messed up and shady to me...I agree with what somebody else said... Who knows...He very well may have sent that letter to you just making you think he really meant to send it to her to cut her off... Either way, what he is doing to these other women is totally wrong!!! That doesn't make him look like much of a man...Errr-that is so frustrating to me!

[LeBeau]

He knew her before you were together?
She reappeared after your marriage?
He's been open enough with you and considerate enough to ask your feeling about his letting this woman visit him and to accept your discomfort as the deciding factor?
He acknowleges that they shared some feelings but said that his heart now belongs to you, basically telling her in very kind terms that she needs to move along.... and you're upset? About what? That he may have cared about this woman? That he still cares enough to not want to be cruel in the way he explains that he's no longer available?
That he stated gently but clearly that YOU are his love?

What's to be upset about?

[kylee23]

Originally Posted by LeBeau

He knew her before you were together?
She reappeared after your marriage?
He's been open enough with you and considerate enough to ask your feeling about his letting this woman visit him and to accept your discomfort as the deciding factor?
He acknowleges that they shared some feelings but said that his heart now belongs to you, basically telling her in very kind terms that she needs to move along.... and you're upset? About what? That he may have cared about this woman? That he still cares enough to not want to be cruel in the way he explains that he's no longer available?
That he stated gently but clearly that YOU are his love?

What's to be upset about?

Where was his concern for this woman's feelings when he was playing her?

[LadyBaby]

Originally Posted by thugwife

WHY would you want to be married to someone who got off hustling women for money? Doesnt say much about his character. Hmmmmm?

I agree with Littlewing, he did USE her with your permission. So you get what you put out.........

ThugWife - being ThugWife! I love it

[LeBeau]

Originally Posted by kylee23

Where was his concern for this woman's feelings when he was playing her?

I clearly missed some key info by replying to the original post instead of reading the whole thread or other threads- If he's the kind of snake who thinks it's cool to use people and play with their hearts and minds to do it, he's not worth the effort of getting upset over.... and I have to wonder about the character of anyone who would accept that kind of casual, greedy cruelty in a mate.

[Onaicult]

I guess I missed the "pimping the pen" part.... what did you expect him to say "btw, I never cared for you - I was just hussling you for money" ??

I don't see anything to be upset about, then. You knowingly allowed him to use other women - and then get upset when he tries to "break it off" gently, which is honestly the very least he could do, for that poor woman....

[iloveyoumore]

I truly don't get it.....I hope you (OP) in no way supported your man in using another woman for money. That would be downright dirty. I know it happens but it is wrong. I may not share a popular belief but to me....when you have done things to land yourself in prison I would hope to goodness that would make you take a step back and look at your life and where you need to make some serious changes. "Pimping" pen pals for money is not the sign of someone trying to change their criminal thinking in order to make it on the outside someday. It is a sure sign of someone with a bent mind who doesn't mind using other people for his own pleasure. I'd be careful of this.........

[scorpnqn]

Originally Posted by Down4Crow

I would be pissed because he talked about having feelings for another woman. I don't care if he told her to respect that you have his heart, that's just a bunch of BS if you ask me

I agree with you 1000%.

I would be mad as hell on this one.

[SpicaRigel]

Originally Posted by tennwife

Yeah,,,, do you really think he sent it to you by mistake?

I really do not think it was a mistake.

Best wishes for a happy marriage.....whatever this situation is, I do wish you happiness.

I agree, it was no mistake he sent it to you...

[SpicaRigel]

Originally Posted by Xellena

Okay....so....Hmmm...how to deal with this one? Me? I would just send it back to him with a note that says....LOVE ya babe, Might want to send this to (insert name here) instead of me.

Love you (insert your name here)

The less you say...the less botherd you seem to be....the more truth you will receive. Psychology 101

I agree...but i believe the truth is already evident... this is a man who has a heart of stone.

[cik607]

I've got some news for you...I have a friend who works in the mailroom at a prison and, when there are inmates who are sending letters to various women, they switch the letters on purpose so the prisoners will have a hard time. They may send the sex letter meant for the wife to the mistress or even the mother or aunt just to humiliate the inmates. They get a kick out of it. Sad but true....

[mandos_angelita]

good luck girl ... i know it sucks to get in arguments or want to ask them about something but we can't call them like most relationships can do we can't see them when we want, and we can't make a scene at visiting either, like we really want to if they pissed us off enough. It's already hard for us to deal with a lot with our guys. But REMEMBER he's at fault in this situation NOT YOU don't let him talk his way out of it. STAY FIRM AND TELL HIM IF HE WANTS TO MAKE THINGS BETTER THAN NOT TO WRITE HER ANYMORE AT ALL!

[HisCupcakee]

i would be so furious!!!. i want my bby for me and onlyy me!. and in a way maybe i think he didnt send it on accident!. its pretty hard to send someone the wrong letter??? i think!. well i hope it works out!.

[NoOne1994]

"Should I be mad?". No.

You should be confused, disappointed and upset.

[magicnb]

I have this womans number I want to call her but what will come of that

[LittleWing13]

Call her and say what? Sorry you got hustled? I knew the whole time, but now I'm jealous?

Leave her alone. Jeez....

[NoOne1994]

Originally Posted by MagicandB

I have this womans number I want to call her but what will come of that

I'm not advising you to call her but if you do, just make sure you're prepared to maybe hear things you may not want to hear and be respectful to her.