Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

jayjaysgran · #26 05-21-2010, 02:20 PM

im new to this sight , im going to pray for you and your son. when my son first went in he tried to cut his wrist and we had a very hard time getting him help. ive been a year finding a site that even talked about the prison he is in till last night. so i see where all of this. is so hard.i have at least 5 more years to go and up to 11 im just strating on a verying long road so i fell for you and your son with all my heart i will keep you in my prays . good luck and may god be with us all.

addictsmom · #27 05-21-2010, 02:32 PM

Djsmom, I was thinking about you today. I havent been on much lately so am falling behind. How is DJ doing?? Do I understand you right when you say he will NOT go to court on the 24th? You are waiting on a decision from the supreme court before another court date is set? This is all confusing and kuddos to you for keeping up. I am sorry that you have lost the majority of your family. I dont have a real strong support system either but at least my family is still alive even tho stay aloof. Please know we are thinking about you and are here to hold you up...

Diane

djsmom · #28 05-22-2010, 07:33 PM

well, i was too frustrated to say anything earlier this week, but my son decided to sign himself out of the hospital on wed. he said he couldnt handle the other people there who were so much worse off than he, couldnt handle the facilities, and they had his meds totally screwed up.(what the hell is he gonna do when he goes to prison????) learn to deal with it.
today was the first day i spoke to him since, i think, tues night. the stress has my short term memory totally screwed! our conversation then wasnt real cordial..we didnt fight, more of bickering because i kind of wanted him to stay there, and wanted him to go for sentencing soon. he still cannot accept what has happened. that is what really worries me. i am trying so hard to lovingly detach myself...he needs to do what he said he was gonna do in some rational moments...work, get all the crap (drugs,alcohol,friends that cant be supportive in his stopping those things) out of his life, take his meds the way he should, get as intense as he can with the counseling. though, the center we both go to, is soooo short staffed.
one minute i am so pissed off at him, the next i feel bad for him. i dont even know my own emotions about anything anymore.
i know i have done everything i possibly could to help him...years ago, all along, and with his case. i just cant do anymore. i know it is in God's hands. all of it, and him.
i really appreciate hearing from those of you who have experienced the anger issues, drug and mental illness issues. i dont feel so alone then.
i am on my way to making some changes in my life...and moving onward when this is done. i am moving to my daughters the end of june. i always said i would watch her babies when she had them, so they didnt have to go to day care. shes not pregnant yet, and probably wont be for awhile. but i think she knows i need the company, it will help me out financially right now, (and her and her hubby too), and may help me get out of this job i have stayed at for almost eleven years with a boss who is impossible at times. eventually, i will have my own apartment at her place, built by her husband. once this hell is over, i am going to take a much needed vacation. megs mom said she may be able to make myrtle beach in the early fall....i would love to sit on the balcony watching and listening to the ocean with some of my friends here from pto. in the meantime, i am trying to get out alittle more. and just stay occupied. you all have no idea how much all the prayers and support mean to me.

Gavin123 · #29 05-22-2010, 08:42 PM

Your emotions are the same as mine...Pissed off one minute, then feeling sorry for him. And your right, it is in Gods hands now. Keep your mind only on the things you CAN control in your life. You can't control what he will decide himself what he's going to do but you can tell him whatever he decides, you will still love him and be there for him. That is what I tell my son, and I will continue to tell him this until someday he realizes HE made the choice to do what he did...not me. He is in prison because of his own actions.

I swear, I believe sometimes they get pissy because they want us "moms" to do something...get them out of trouble and we can't. What do they think we can do? Mine thought I'd fork out thousands on a lawyer. Things like that is what pisses me off too. I did back off when he was first arrested and let him know I would be by his side and always love him but he had to face his own consiquences and do the time. He kept asking me what to do, how to plea and I told him to do whatever he thought was best for him. I was not about to get dragged into that. If it turned out bad, I would be blamed for that too.

Once he settles in to prison and I know he's ok, I will be able to breath a little too.

It is so very stressfull I swear and if you can make a good change in your life, that's great, probably the best thing you can do for yourself to de-stress for a while.

By the way...Me, my mom and 2 sisters hit myrtle beach every fall. We stay in north myrtle, we are already booked for this year. We stay 5 days & 4 nites. We've done this every year for 9 years now. My mom had breast cancer and after that us sisters decided not to ever have any regrets about spending time with our mom. We get lazy, drink a lil, play board games, shop, and whatever else we decide to do...Mostly Relax & De-Stress!!! You'll have to let me know if you go, k.

Gavin123 · #30 05-22-2010, 08:47 PM

Thanks beachmom for the comment, I don't think I could have handled it if my husband weren't with me. Even though it was his mom, he was strong for me. It was like grieving for 2 people that week. I'm still paying the price with my nerves, hopefully they will calm soon. I seem to be having a people-problem lately, being around crowds, anxiety attacks. Thankfully, I have meds to deal with them for now.

I couldn't even imagine dealing with it alone, I hope you have friends to talk to.

Also, I believe you are in charleston beachmom? The first 4 years, we did go to charleston till the home we rented every year wasn't for rent anymore. Then we started to go to myrtle beach. I love them both.

sleepless in Tu · #31 05-24-2010, 11:38 AM

Oh my word djsmom,I've just read through the entire post,you have been through so much.I was really happy to hear you'll be spending tome with your daughter and have some great plans for your life and living it with more joy.I think that is the one of the goals that a lot of us here set for ourselves and try to reach.Of course we feel sorrow about our child in trouble,but once you realize there is only so much you can do(especially if they don't want to cooperate,and do what we hope they will to help themselves)to correct the situation,you have to let go and take care of yourself and make sure you keep other members of your family involved with your life;this sounds like what you have choosen to do and I'm really happy for you!I hope you have a wonderful gathering of PTO friends and really enjoy your beach relaxation time!