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NY-Done · #26 06-04-2010, 12:28 PM

I'm not on my first bid but to make sure I don't get caught up doing another, I divorced my husband. This way if he does go back, I won't be in that *wife* position of WHAT DO I DO NOW, which usually ends with SUPPORT AND STAND BY MY HUSBAND.

On my first bid it never even crossed my mind to do another because really, who thinks of these things on their first bid. On my second, however, I swore off that I'd not do another, but I did a third because that's just how it is in this lifestyle. To make sure I didn't do another after the third, I divorced him. This way if he goes back to prison, he'll have to break somebody new in.

For the ladies who said it depends, like if he was defending me, usually when they go back, it's usually not for *honor* issues, but for issues related to the conviction he just came off, relative to any others he may have had before that. So like if he's an addict and he gets out, then he relapse, break the law trying to get money and then he goes back, I seriously doubt a woman would walk away, especially when addicts beg, plead and cry. For a woman who couldn't take that, that butt would go no where except to the post office to start stocking up on stamps.

Mark my words, you'll see.

Crosbywife2010 · #27 06-04-2010, 12:30 PM

I put yes I have loved this man since I was 10 i would defiinitly wait

BJ'sWife0718 · #28 06-04-2010, 12:33 PM

Well, this is his second but my first with him. I said "For better or for worse" and I ment it. He's in on a RETARDED PV right now so I'm not really even mad at him over it. If it happens like that again, no harm no foul, we'll deal with it, some thing you just can't controll. If he did somethin stupid I'd be pissed but he's my life so yeah I'd stay. The only reason I'm leavin that man is if he Hit me or Cheats, neither of which will ever happen. We got this!

Tiny xo · #29 06-04-2010, 12:46 PM

i was that girl years ago saying "i'll NEVER do this again!" & here i am, doing this again.

vToRiE17 · #30 06-04-2010, 01:15 PM

i voted yes
i made a promise
through better or worse an i will stick by my word
im not goin to flake out on him
in the end
i wont be happy bout it of course
but i still will

Slycswifey · #31 06-04-2010, 01:24 PM

Head says NO... heart says...ummm not sure.....

Ellie88 · #32 06-04-2010, 01:26 PM

yes, i would wait for him i love him to much and i know that he loves me too. so yeah, i would... anyways i know that he would not go on and do something stupid to keep us away from eachother....

NY-Done · #33 06-04-2010, 01:26 PM

I just wanted to comment regarding the women who are on their 3rd or more, ain't nuthing wrong with it. I have absolutely no issue with that at all, it's just not for everyone, but if it's for you, wooohoooo!!

lizhume · #34 06-04-2010, 01:49 PM

I voted No, but that is if he does the same thing twice. If it's for something else, I don't know. I don't want his trips to jail/prison to become a habit. If the legal system/people try to screw with him or pin blame on him because he's an ex-felon and it's not his fault whatsoever, then yes, I will wait however long it takes.

BlueEyedEllie · #35 06-04-2010, 01:53 PM

no.once was enough.I got car sick during the first ride

there will be no second...Now,if i was married to him i would not divorce him but he would be doing his bid alone.I want to also say this,anyone who chooses to bid repeatedly,i'd never judge you for your choice.If you are happy,more power to you.

If you are unhappy as heck bidding again,but are staying out of pity or guilt,it would be better to be honest with him about your feelings and cut ties.

BrownSuga77 · #36 06-04-2010, 01:55 PM

I vote unsure. I do love my man very much but I'm not positive I could do this again, but then again I can't see my life without him in it. I hope a second bid never happens so I never have to ask myself this question.

Sweetswife · #37 06-04-2010, 02:09 PM

My ticker says 4 more months till my babe gets out of the state DRC but he STILL has FED TIME left to do. We are unsure of the exact amount of time because of the programming....The total amount of fed time is 36 months but how they will work it with RDAP and community corrections and all that is left to be said. In any event my heart is in one place and that is with my man. No one else could ever make me feel as whole and complete as he does.

Missinghim101 · #38 06-04-2010, 02:17 PM

I dont think you could answer unless you were in that position, my guy went away in 07 for 2 months, and then again in 09 for 6 months, i said after the first i would never wait again, he went back on a Parole Violation and it was something stupid, so i stayed not because i had to but because i love him and he was trying to do good. I was also 4 months preg when he went away and i wanted my daughter to have her father around. Being on parole changes alot, they have to watch every move, every little thing can get them sent back. When he got out last sept he is a new man, he hasnt been in any trouble and doesnt even find trouble, were a normal working family. If he messes up again i would probably leave since it would be for a "new" crime. I just think that when someone is put in the situation that changes everything, i am still here even though i said hell no lol...

ROBERT'SWIFE · #39 06-04-2010, 02:20 PM

I voted no, I am so sick of this prison ish I'm sick of it. I don't even know how the hell I'm dealing with it this time around. i don't have the money to go through this again. I don't have the patience to go through this again. I don't have the time, by the time he gets out I'll be 28. I've been doing this since I was 19. If he's going to be selfish enough to commit another crime after all the promises that he made to me than he can go do his time all by himself I didn't do anything wrong, and I didn't benefit from what he did wrong. But, because I love him I choose to do this time with him. But never again.

ROBERT'SWIFE · #40 06-04-2010, 02:25 PM

As far as the for better or for worse argument I completely understand and I know that a prison bid is not exactley the same as what I am about to say, but if your husband was beating the crap out of you or abusing your kids or a serial killer or screwing everything with a vag or infected you with HIV or something as terrible as that you would probably try to get out of that poisonous environment right. Or would you stay because you vowed to for better or for worse. This is just MY opinion.I do believe that in a marriage you need to fight your freaking hardest to make the marriage work, but if one of the parties isn't doing the same i.e continuing to go to prison than what are you fighting for. Not judging anyone I'm no one to do that. Just my opinion.

Stephen's girl · #41 06-04-2010, 03:11 PM

I feel pretty confident saying there won't be a second bid, he never got into trouble before this but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

fahschick · #42 06-04-2010, 03:33 PM

Voted no. This is his 2nd one and my 1st with him. He'd better get a pen pal if he goes back. Seriously!

Hisoneandonly · #43 06-04-2010, 05:00 PM

Well this isn't his first one, he has done two previous (short ones) while we wern't together. I think though he has seen that this isn't the type of life he wants anymore, or that I want. I voted unsure b/c it really would all depend on what he did to go back

jeswannabhiswyf · #44 06-04-2010, 05:05 PM

I definitely won't move on. I am here for better or worse. I have learned to never say never. I cannot say that L will NEVER return to prison because the fact of the matter is, I don't know. I do know that if he does return, it will be a good reason. Protecting his family would be the only reason.

jeswannabhiswyf · #45 06-04-2010, 05:16 PM

Ok, can a mod delete this and the 2 duplicate posts please. Technical difficulties.

gabby1979 · #46 06-04-2010, 08:06 PM

As for myself, I put unsure...because honestly I can easily say NEVER AGAIN, but through experience I know when I say Never it usually means definitley yes..lol

SherriC · #47 06-04-2010, 08:11 PM

I am not sure I can. This is the first bid i am with him and he has been in and out. He recently got violated on his parole and just was taken back in this past week. I AM GOING CRAZY AND ITS ONLY BEEN A FEW DAYS I dont even know anything that is going on with him and no one will help. I dont know that i can make it thru this one

mikeslove15 · #48 06-04-2010, 08:51 PM

I voted unsure. This is his second bid (he did the first one way before we met). Doing this bid with him has been hard enough and there is still a LONG time to go. I don'y know that if he got out and went back in that I could stay sane enough to handle it. At the same time he is my heart so letting go would be very hard.

Suarez06 · #49 06-05-2010, 01:01 AM

allright ladies so i once said i wasnt gonna be there for him if he went back in.. trust me i always told myself and i would always tell him.. and actions speak louder then words.. hes back in and i was mad at him but i gave in and im with him no matter what.. i committed myself to this guy and im gonna be there for him thru it all.. its called love and we dont fall outta love that easy.. so for all you ladies who voted unsure thats the best answer becuz we all know we love our man.

JeromesBabyGirl · #50 06-05-2010, 08:55 PM

Im not waiting for him Im liveing life he and I live our life as if he was here all we are messing is physical contact