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RnBgirl · #1 07-28-2010, 08:13 PM

Ok so my boyfriend is in county jail. Just for the past 2 weeks and God willing they keep his court date he'll be out soon because they offered him a 60 day sentence with 3 years probation. Already he's acting funny. I know he's depressed in there but suddenly he's extremely jealous and doesn't believe a word that i'm saying. We talk on the phone twice a day, I see him twice a week and I write him everyday! what more can I do to show him that i'm loyal? This is getting crazy. I tell him exactly what im doing for the day...every single time he calls I answer doesn't matter where I am or what im doing but he's still doubting me. Just before I was at bible study and he called and said "Who are you screwing right now" I was in church!!! he knows my schedule..I don't understand why he's being this way

mama2princesses · #2 07-28-2010, 08:20 PM

oh wow... that is very jealous

I hope it gets better. Maybe sit down with him at a visit and say what can I do to get you to feel confident that I'm not cheating and see if he can come up with a solution that you feel is fair and do-able. chances are that nothing will make him feel better except time

My man has been doing a 60 day sentence. Day by day it seems slow but looking back it has flown by. I had a list of things I was going to do while he was gone and havent accomplished even 25% of it. LOL and now he gets back in 6 days.

dreamy112 · #3 07-28-2010, 08:24 PM

well u know , hes not able to see you as often or anything makes him feel like you might just leave him . i mean your in the outside world and hes stuck in that place and it makes him feel insecure to not be with you physically . but you know with him constantly thinking your cheating on him is wrong and u gotta tell him to stop these accusations because its just going to make him think more that you are doing something behind his back when youre not .

TimedOut · #4 07-28-2010, 08:29 PM

wow your post really caught my attention. Has your guy ever presented similar jealous behavior before? I ask because that seems to have been a very drastic change in a short period of time. I would sort of understand an extreme change if he was trying to wrap his head around a large amount of time and thinking that you wouldn't be able to wait, but 60 days shouldn't send him thinking such negative thoughts let alone making outlandish claims about your faithfulness. I am confused by it myself so can't really offer any suggestions except to suggest that you address it directly with him.

gods mercy · #5 07-28-2010, 08:29 PM

you know that the jelousey is of the devil, he has trust issues, and thats not good, i will pray for him to let go of all the insinuating thinking, in the name of jesus.
sounds to me you are a beilever, so pray for him also, its from the enemy, you have shown him the suport from you, so just set him straight about his thinking, my best wishes to you sweety, keep strong,and good luck

DaMeS_GiRl88 · #6 07-28-2010, 08:31 PM

Yeah he is def jealous ad want u to sit in the house for 2 months until he gets home u should talk to him and tell him how u feel

RnBgirl · #7 07-28-2010, 08:37 PM

I've said that his accusations are ridiculous and he keeps asking me to just be patient with him because girls in the past have cheated on him, but he keeps saying that I'm not like any of those girls. I would never do that. Most of the time when he calls I am home. Tonight is actually the first night that he called and I wasn't but like I said I was at bible study. Hardly something to get jealous over.

I constantly remind him that this relationship wasn't easy for me to get into in the first place. I was engaged a year and a half ago but he suddenly passed away. I've done a lot to get in a place where i feel like i could be with a man again. So my boyfriend and I haven't been together for a long time at all, so I guess he doesn't know me well enough to know that I could never do anything like that but still the accusations aren't making it any better. I mean to begin with I cant even believe I try and start to date again and he ends up in jail. I just wish he had some faith.

retired - 666 · #8 07-28-2010, 08:43 PM

I think the other men in there are talking your guy into a paranoid frenzy.

RnBgirl · #9 07-28-2010, 08:50 PM

Everytime i'm on the phone with my boyfriend the other men in there are asking me if I can do a favor and call their girlfriends and ask them where they are and how come they don't visit or write and everything like that. So, if there are other men trying to put those things in his head I hope he realizes that im doing everything I can to make this experience just a little bit more comfortable for him than a lot of the other girlfriends are for their men.

coah2479 · #10 07-28-2010, 08:53 PM

Yah, he has jealousy issues big time but how about NOT catering to his every need? I mean seriously...your not doing anything wrong so why even try to justify yourself. Yes, he's locked up and your on the outside with freedom to do what ever you want but did you put him in jail??? If it were me, I would be hanging up on him when I felt the slightest attitude, he would have to work hard to get me to visit him and when he asks me "who are you screwing"? I would say "your brother and your best friend"! Stand up for yourself and his attitude will change quick!

MissingJoshua98 · #11 07-28-2010, 08:56 PM

I have a question, when i look my man up on the internet it says he was released yesterday on comunity supervision what does that mean? what is the differance between active community supervision, or just Community Supervision?? cuz i have not heard from my man. And he was on the run and i saw him Monday and we discusse dhim to turn on on thursday but i looked yesterday it says he was in house corrections now today it says out of custody so im confused. Can anyone help me out with the different meanings for Active or just community supervision thanks

quiet_one · #12 07-28-2010, 09:24 PM

You are a Christian woman, at Bible study, and he accuses you of being out fornicating somewhere? That just doesn't sit right with me.

I think it's probably true that other inmates are telling him tall tales, but that doesn't excuse the wild accusations. You aren't at fault because his exes betrayed him, or because he broke the law and received a short sentence. From what you post, you seem to be a respectable woman of good character, and the one who claims to love you should treat you accordingly. He needs to straighten up. It is not your job to convince him that you are who you are.

RnBgirl · #13 07-29-2010, 03:02 PM

Thank you and I do agree. I'm going to school to be a social worker and I do someday want to work with inmates. It's my nature to be patient with people but I think i'm breaking down a little. It's hard because here I am consoling him and doing whatever I can and he still accuses me and now his mother is starting to treat me like I assisted him in his crime (she doesn't know me the most we've ever said to eachother is hi, but now that her son is locked up she is VERY disrespectful to me) I just kind of feel like I'm at the end of my rope. Im trying to handle all his business, get myself ready for school and go to work. I actually broke down and cried today. This being the first time it's happened to me. Im trying to be a rock for him. He made a dumb mistake and although I understand the desperation behind it, it was still HIS mistake...not mine. And yet, I'm punishing myself daily. Not allowing anything in my life to be normal. Im slacking at the gym and I'm not really communicating much with people. And I'm starting to feel like ok so im doing everything I can to make it better for him but who's here to console me??? my boyfriend's in jail for God's sake that's a lot to take in. (All of you however understand) I just need a moment to breathe...

babylove86 · #14 07-30-2010, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissingJoshua98

I have a question, when i look my man up on the internet it says he was released yesterday on comunity supervision what does that mean? what is the differance between active community supervision, or just Community Supervision?? cuz i have not heard from my man. And he was on the run and i saw him Monday and we discusse dhim to turn on on thursday but i looked yesterday it says he was in house corrections now today it says out of custody so im confused. Can anyone help me out with the different meanings for Active or just community supervision thanks

Start your own thread

bssugafoot · #15 07-30-2010, 08:59 AM

I agree with many of the other posts your man is hearing too much negativity from the other inmates and this is causing him to have a break down sometimes. Just keep encouraging him and know that it is okay to break down from being overwhelm but remember you have to pick yourself up. Good for you with the school thing. Keep your head up and eventually his mother will come around! She might just think you are like the others because her son is locked up. Don't worry about her in my opinion focus on you and him. As long as God is apart of the plan things will definitely get better soon!

Quote:

Originally Posted by RnBgirl

Thank you and I do agree. I'm going to school to be a social worker and I do someday want to work with inmates. It's my nature to be patient with people but I think i'm breaking down a little. It's hard because here I am consoling him and doing whatever I can and he still accuses me and now his mother is starting to treat me like I assisted him in his crime (she doesn't know me the most we've ever said to eachother is hi, but now that her son is locked up she is VERY disrespectful to me) I just kind of feel like I'm at the end of my rope. Im trying to handle all his business, get myself ready for school and go to work. I actually broke down and cried today. This being the first time it's happened to me. Im trying to be a rock for him. He made a dumb mistake and although I understand the desperation behind it, it was still HIS mistake...not mine. And yet, I'm punishing myself daily. Not allowing anything in my life to be normal. Im slacking at the gym and I'm not really communicating much with people. And I'm starting to feel like ok so im doing everything I can to make it better for him but who's here to console me??? my boyfriend's in jail for God's sake that's a lot to take in. (All of you however understand) I just need a moment to breathe...

rideordiee24 · #16 07-30-2010, 11:29 PM

im really feeling you on this one, my boyfriend got like this at some point. he started doubting about us & if we were going to be able to make it & if i was going to stay faithful. but for some reason i didnt really thinkk he ment it just because he was the one who would always say nothing but positive things after an argument to make me feel better before he got locked up.i do have to admit that it would break my heart to hear him
talk like that but then later on he would tell me the reasonhe was acting like that was because he gets really deppresed & he says that mostly the only thing they get to do is think about things that can happen out here, & not only that they start talking to other guys in there & tell them their situation & alot of them say negative things like she probably doing this & that, that & this and soo it gets to them at some point. i say you just give him some time to realize how much you love him & that its not easy at all for you either. just keep doing what your doin & sooner than later he will realize.
hope yall fix things ..hugs..